They both pulled apart when Janes phone rang. "I have to take this." Jane muttered under her breath after seeing her mother's face on the screen. "I want to know if Marcella is okay." She mumbled apologetically and Maura gave her an understanding look.
"I have to do some calls myself." The doc replied in a strange voice. Jane wanted to hold her back and ask her to stay, but the blonde was already on her way out of the door leaving a confused Jane behind.
She's running the brunette thought. Hell, I even understand why. She's married for heavens sake! What have I been thinking? She scolded herself feeling nauseous. What if she had just destroyed the forming friendship between her and Maura by crossing a line? It didn't matter that Maura had also wanted this kiss. Jane had initiated it.
Was Maura about to call her husband or wife? What was she going to say?
"Ma?" the brunette picked up after steadying her breath. There would be enough time to sort through things later. Not that she was keen on analyzing what had just happened. But she needed to get a grip somehow. Her head was spinning with questions and chaos.
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli!" Angela's voice thundered over the speakers and Jane cringed, knowing that Gabriel had probably spilled the beans to her. Marcella was squealing in the background as if feeling the tension between mother and daughter.
"Isn't it enough that you leave your daughter behind for a job? Now you are also betraying your husband?!" her mother demanded angrily.
"How's Marcella?" the brunette asked while rubbing her temple. A headache had been threatening her all day and it appeared that it was going to come now. The least she wanted was to fight with her mother. She just wanted to know that the kid was safe and okay.
"She's with me. So, of course she's fine. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about your husband." Angela said accusingly.
Jane pulled her hand through the dark curls as tears began burning in her eyes. There was nothing she could say. Nor did she know how to tame the anger which was threatening to get the best of her.
"He told me that he.. that you… that you never sleep with him…. " her mother stated in the same accusing tone she had used in the previous sentence.
"Ma!" Jane exclaimed inwardly cursing her husband for being such an ass. What on earth was he thinking by complaining to her mother? And what the hell was her mother thinking when trying to mettle in this affair.
"I don't think that this is any of your business." Her voice turned threatening and cold.She knew that Angela only wanted her best, but she was tired of her trespassing the lines to force her thinking of what's good on her kids.
This had led to her marrying Gabriel in the first place. Of course, she couldn't entirely blame her disaster on Angela. She was a grown-up. She had said yes when they had been standing at the altar in their family's church. But Angela had always managed to play a big part in her kids life and to manipulate them by sending them on regular guilt trips.
Jane didn't want to fight with her mother, because she simply felt that this was not the right time to clear things up. So, she bit back a comment about how Gabriel had been cheating on her for months, maybe even years. Angela wasn't even aware of the fact that Marcella was the outcome of one of his affairs. There had been a time when they had managed to keep Angela's nose out of their relationship. For example, they had explained the girl's sudden appearance by an emergency adoption.
"So, it's true?" Angela's words interrupted her thoughts.
"I kissed someone else." Jane replied silently. "But it wasn't more than a kiss. And it will never happen again."
Angela snorted. "Just a kiss? Janie, that's how affairs start! How can you be so naive? Don't you think that your father's affairs haven't started the exact same way? How could you do that to Gabriel. You, of all people who condemned your father for his behavior. And now you are doing the same thing."
Jane cringed. Every single word stung her heart and ripped her apart. Her story was different. Wasn't it? Besides, it had just been a kiss. And seen as to how Maura had fled from her there would never be more between them.
Then she faltered when realizing that she had betrayed her own moral standards. Standards which had grown out of her father's mistakes. But despite trying hard she didn't regret it, because the blonde and this kiss had opened her eyes.
It hit Jane how she couldn't go on with her life like this. She needed to divorce Gabriel. She wasn't afraid of something new or being alone. The only thing she was afraid of was to never see Marcella again.
"I don't love him, ma." Jane heard herself say defeated. Her eyes were resting on the wedding band which seemed to burn her finger.
"Excuse me, what?" Angela shrieked at her confession. "You cant just marry someone and then say, I don't love him anymore just like that. You took a promise to be with him for a lifetime. For better or worse."
"I don't love him." Jane repeated. "Never have, at least not the way I'm supposed to love a husband. I'm gay."
"Janie, are you drunk? Stop saying such stupid things. I know you. You've always only had boyfriends. I never saw you looking at women the way you look at men."
"Ma, the point is, that you don't know me." Jane suddenly felt angry. Something in her had snapped. Maybe it was the fact that Angela seemingly ignored the sudden urge in her voice or that she took on Gabriel's side. Or maybe both.
Angela gasped. "I obviously don't!" she replied furiously and hung up.
Jane threw the phone onto the half of the bed where Maua had been sitting earlier and slumped back to pull the pillow over her head to suffocate the outcoming scream of frustration.
Jane knew exactly why Angela was siding with Gabriel. She understood that her mother was afraid of losing Marcella. And she also understood that Angela felt for him because she thought that they both had been betrayed by their loved ones. And it made her mad. It was as if she herself didn't count. It was as if her well-being wasn't of any interest in it at all. Just like it had always been.