Location: F Sector, Veldin
Time: 2:50 PM, Thursday
Widget watched as the monster-sled dropped to the ground, having finally either suffered damage to its power systems or its gravity coils. She also noted that it was no longer firing either its cannons or missiles anymore.
Not that this seemed to deter the rather enthusiastic warbots
"Ah, Clank?"
"Yes, Widget?"
"If your new squad is actually taking orders from you, see if you can get them to stop firing and stand down, maybe? I don't think that thing's combat capable anymore."
"I never got to test out the battle-sled I made."
"We're in F Sector," Widget stated dryly. "I'm sure something will turn up by the time the authorities get here to pick up this asshole."
"We could always strap whoever it is to one of our sleds," Amanda Bates suggested.
"Now Amy, you know some of us are paid heroes," Alan Stryker chided.
"Stop calling me Amy!"
"Can we not start this again?" Widget requested, noting that the warbots had stopped firing and seemed to be assuming watchful guard positions. "So, Clank? Is it safe to approach the scene? Because we still have to get whoever is in that thing out where they can be secured."
"I will notify my… squad… that you are with me, and that you would like to capture whoever is inside that vehicle."
"That'd be just peachy, thanks."
-o-
Widget slowly drifted her Grav-sled over to where the warbots were holding their defensive position, ready to hit the accelerator the instant it looked like any of them objected to her presence. Still, they seemed to be following her little brother's orders as if he really were their new sergeant…
Then again, that didn't really speak well of their mental faculties at the moment, but she was already here. And it wasn't like this would be the first phenomenally stupid thing she had done today.
Hopefully this one would work out too.
Once she was close enough, one of the warbots motioned her to a spot that left them between her and the wreckage they were now watching over, only now one of them turned to face her with a salute.
"Welcome, Lieutenant! Bravo Squad stands ready to assist you in securing the prisoner, should there actually be one to capture in there, Sir!"
"Ah, Clank?" Widget asked even as she returned the salute so that the crazy warbot would stop saluting her.
"Yes, Widget?"
"Did you happen to tell any of them that I was an officer? Because I think the only member of the team who actually uses a rank title is Captain Qwark."
"Duly noted, Sir!" the warbot who had spoken to her moments ago informed Widget.
"You have really good audio sensors for a bot who has had no maintenance for several years," Widget commented, turning her attention more fully towards the bot once again.
"Thank you, Sir! But we have been maintaining ourselves as instructed when we were left to guard this outpost!"
Widget looked around briefly, but saw no sign of even the remains of any sort of structure that might suggest that an outpost had once been here.
"To answer your question, Widget, I told them no such thing. They came to that conclusion on their own."
"Wonderful," Widget muttered under her breath, refraining from rubbing the bridge of her nose for the simple reason that her helmet's faceplate was in the way. "Okay, I came this far, so I may as well get this over with."
Popping the canopy, Widget carefully climbed out of the cockpit and hopped to the ground. "I'm Widget Razz of the Galactic Rangers, reporting in to capture whoever may be in the aggressor vehicle."
Oh, please let them accept that phrasing!
"Wait… Galactic Rangers?" the warbot she had been talking to seemed to hesitate, then looked her over more carefully before suddenly turning and calling out to the others. "Hey! The old Sarge was right! We weren't forgotten! They came back for us! They really did!"
"Yay!"
"Woo hoo!"
"Hoody hoo!"
"I can finally order new trading cards!"
"I can get an actual shelf for my pet rock!"
"We can finally get some real maintenance!"
"Fresh ammo!"
"Replacement shield generators!"
"Oil baths!"
"An actual outpost to guard!"
"A new assignment!"
"CRAYONS!"
"What the fuck did I just get myself into?" Widget stood there, nonplussed at the warbots' various reactions.
"Yep! Definitely a lieutenant," the warbot who had first spoken to her stated with confidence. "I'd recognise that new officer look anywhere! Welcome to Bravo Squad!"
-o-
Location: Hall of Heroes, Aleero City, Kerwan
Time: 3:00 PM, Thursday
"And this wall commemorates all the previous teams that bore the Galactic Rangers' name," Dr. Nefarious informed Jimmy and his parents as they reached one of the last places on the impromptu tour he had set up for their guests. "Here we honor their memory and hope that we too will bear the name of the Galactic Rangers as well as any of our predecessors had."
"Wow…" the young Tharpod stared in awe at the wall, perhaps too young yet to realize just what such a memorial actually meant, but at least his parents seemed to be properly somber as they paid their respects.
Hmmm… That reminded him. Better make sure that Widget and Clank were scheduled for at least the brief course on the history and legacy of the Galactic Rangers. Lord knows the media couldn't be trusted to remember anything older than a week ago unless it went into syndication…
-o-
Location: F Sector, Veldin
Time: 3:03 PM, Thursday
Widget approached the wreckage, flanked by two of the warbots while the other three repositioned themselves to cover them from a distance from one angle, while Clank and the two racers took up another position to provide a different angle of cover fire if needed.
Seeing movement through the cockpit window, but not seeing the pilot, Widget took up a position out of direct line of side slightly to the rear of the cockpit, and tapped the hull with her Omnimallet a couple of times before setting the head of it flat against the body of the wreckage and hitting a button. "I know you're alive in there. You may as well come out with your hands up and empty, or we're just going to peel this machine open and pull you out anyway."
"Don't you gotta read me my rights first, Ranger girl?" a male voice called out. Well, presumably male, as Widget had no idea what their species was just yet, and she wasn't going to silhouette herself against the cockpit canopy just to find out.
"Really? You're trying to pull that card? On Veldin?" Widget asked.
"Yes!"
"Okay then," Widget shrugged and looked briefly at the warbots with her, then turned her head back towards the canopy. "You're options right now are as follows: You can come out with your arms up and gripping appendages empty; or we'll pull whatever's left of you out of the wreckage after we peel it open."
"That sounds worse than before! What happened to reading me my rights?"
"I'm a chartered hero, not a cop. You'll get your rights read to you when I turn you over. Since you seem to want your rights read to you, I'm going to be turning you over to the authorities here on Veldin as opposed to waiting for Starwatch to show up. And I'll be sure to remind them that you want your rights read to you when I hand you off."
"Is that supposed to scare me?" the voice taunted back.
"You are aware that Veldin has been a perpetually frontier world for the past… How many generations of attempted colonies has it been now?"
"To the best of my knowledge, Veldin had had seventeen generations worth of attempted colonies as of the time of our posting, Sir!" one of the warbots standing with her stated.
"Huh. That's actually more colonization attempts than I had thought," Widget admitted. "Anyway, the current colony is just barely actually recovering from the brink of failure for once, because the greater galaxy is actually paying attention for a change, and then you drop in and disrupt the only charity event Veldin has ever seen. I'm sure the sheriff will be really happy to read you your rights real personal like."
"I, uh… Can I change my mind?"
"Nope! Calling the sheriff's office now!" Widget stated cheerfully. "Hey, Clank, could patch me through to the Veldin Sheriff's Office?"
"Certainly," Clank's voice replied over the comm.
"Sheriff's Office," a gruff voice spoke over the comm tersely. "Taunty speaking. Make it quick, we're in the middle of a situation here…"
"Depu?" Widget interjected, "This is Widget…"
"Are you okay? If you need reinforcements, Starwatch has been called and they are on their way from Novalis, so just hold tight and keep your…"
"Actually, I got the perp right here, still refusing to come out of what's left of his monster-sled."
"Damn, girl! How'd you manage that!? I saw what that thing could shrug off, and we don't have anything on Veldin that could take it out!"
"Nothing in the colony, you mean. We led Mr. Idiot here into one of the old warbot encampments on the near side of F Sector."
"If you need reinforcements to get you out of there, as I said, Starwatch has already been called and they should be here within a couple of hours."
"Look, could you just put Sheriff Marshal General on the comm?"
"Marshal's dead, Widget."
"What!? When!?"
"He died near the end of the BlargTech attack, when Victor Von Ion broke Little Tony out of holding."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Depu."
"Yeah, me too, Widget."
"Has the service been held yet?"
"Not yet. It's going to be in a few days, if you can stick around for it."
"So… You the new sheriff then?"
"Yeah, that's right. At least for now, anyway. The council is still deciding on whether or not to make it official."
"Would you like to come read this guy his rights before Starwatch gets here?"
"And why would I want to go anywhere near F Sector when Starwatch can do that when they get here? You just admitted that you led the perp into a camp of warbots."
"They're friendly?"
"Would you like me to schedule an appointment with a therapist? Because that right there? That's crazy talk."
Widget noticed the canopy seal pop slightly away from the fuselage. "Hold on for a moment."
Hitting a different button on her Omnimallet, Widget whipped around in a thrust assisted 360 degree spin and hit the canopy as hard as she could, tearing it halfway off of its hinges from the impact. "Hi there! Glad you decided to join us, Mr. Bad Guy! Now come out nice and slow, hands high and empty like we said, m'kay?"
"Allright, allright! I'm coming out! No need to knock my head off!"
"That has yet to be determined," One of the warbots stated.
"Er… Are you sure I can't just wait in here after all?"
"No," Widget stated. "Okay, boys, he's had more than enough time to have come out on his own if he was going to. Pull him out."
"Yes, Sir!" the two warbots cheerfully complied, tearing the canopy the rest of the way off of its hinges and reaching inside to pull out…
"A Lombax!?" Widget could not believe it. "You mean to tell me that the first actual Lombax I've ever met is just some rando maniac getting his jollies by attacking charity events?"
"Well, excuuuuuuuse me, Princess Snowball! Some of us didn't get to live in nice safe cushy palaces, eating fancy expensive meals every day, and the best education money can buy! Captain Dork probably made good bank on the Bolts your mommy and daddy must have paid for him to take you onto his team of sellouts!"
"Is that what you think?" Widget responded, her right eye twitching in restrained fury. "That I'm some pampered spoiled brat whose parents paid her way through life? Well, listen up, Buttercup, 'cause I'm only going to tell you once! I grew up as a Scavenger Rat right here on Veldin, fighting over scrap and trash just to get enough Bolts to live on! My palace was whatever pile of rocks or garbage I could defend for maybe one night at a time. My fancy meals were whenever I had enough bolts to hit the Galaxy Burger in town, otherwise it was just whatever I could catch! My education up to just a few years ago was laughable, but I did manage to learn my letters and numbers, which is more than I can say for some. And my Dad is a starship mechanic who the juvie court judge assigned custody of me to after I tried to steal from the scrapyard behind his garage! As far as I know, my real parents, whoever they may have been once upon a time, never even set one foot on the refugee ship that brought me to Veldin in the first place!
"So don't you go crying some fucking sob story about how much harder you had it than everybody else in the galaxy, or try to tell me I've had it soft, 'cause I'm a Veldin brat through and through and I fucking turned out fine!"
"I am so turned on right now..."
"AAAARGH! WHY DO I ALWAYS SEEM TO ATTRACT THE WEIRDOS!?"
"I'd say because you're you, Widget," Sheriff pro tem Depu Taunty's voice was heard over the comm, which Widget realized she had left open.
"Um, Sir? You really shouldn't be hitting your head against strange wreckage…"