CHAPTER 15

I Am Not A Monster

"Maybe it was my blood on the door." Scott suggested, turning to face Stiles and Mars at their table. Mars opened her eyes and raised her chin from her hands, chem class was just so boring. Especially with Mr. Harris' droning voice and sustenance lacking lectures.

"Could have been animal blood?" Stiles tapped his pen against his books, attempting to comfort Scott. The reality of it was that nothing could grant Scott relief until whatever's blood was on the buses door turned up. "Yanno, maybe you caught a rabbit or something." Stiles continued. Mars moved her stool closer to Stiles' and leaned into the conversation, resting her chin on her lab partners shoulder. Stiles hardly acknowledged her touch.

"Yeah, wolves eat rabbits, right?" She tried, looking at Stiles before returning her eyes to Scott. Honestly, she was still freaked out about Scott's dream having really happened. Freaked out wasn't right, she was afraid. Of him. And that was a pretty shit feeling.

Scott could hardly even squash a spider- he worked at the animal clinic for goodness sake. Perhaps it wasn't a fear of him, but a fear of what was happening to him.

He blacked out, just like she had.

Exactly like she had- more than once.

She had to be calm, she had to focus on something. Anything other than herself, and Scott provided the perfect distraction. Using him wasn't right per say, but it was so convenient she couldn't get around it.

"Raw?" Scott's eyes widened a little.

Stiles rolled his eyes. "No, you stopped to bake it in your little werewolf oven. I don't know, you're the one who can't remember anything." Mars dug her chin into his shoulder, he let out a hushed ouch and turned her way. Mars raised her pointer finger to his lips and shushed him. "Seriously?" Mars smirked at him, but he was being far too loud- the whole class didn't need to know their business. 'Their business' made is sound like they belonged in a loony bin.

"Mr. Stilinski, if that is your idea of a hushed whisper, you might want to pull the headphones out every once and a while." Harris confirmed Mars' suspicions, she and Stiles looked at each other- Stiles annoyed by the fact she was right. He hated when she was right. "I think you three would benefit from a little distance, yes?" Harris continued. "You and Miss Moss especially." He looked at the pair. Mars' hand on Stiles' thigh and Stiles' hand lazily laid on her bare knee. Her head resting against his shoulder.

"No." Stiles replied, seemingly unsettled that someone would even suggest such a thing.

"Yes well, interactions such as that should be reserved for outside of school." He reminded them, Stiles still didn't understand the problem. "Or a brothel, perhaps,"

Mars clenched her teeth. To spite her least favorite teacher, Mars maintained eye contact with him as she slid her hand across Stiles' leg, resting it on his thigh, and kissing him on the cheek. The innocence of her touch was lost all together when she realized that something else was hanging out below her hand.

She played it cool, like she meant to do it. Stiles' eyes widened as she touched him… there, letting out a small sound that he disguised as a cough and tightening his grip on her knee. He wasn't all that surprised by it- she'd done things along the same lines before- just never on him.

Mars removed her lingering lips from his cheek and then her hand from him. Stiles met her eyes, and her face heated. The flush was unfamiliar and uncomfortable to her, as she looked into those warm brown eyes and they made her heart race.

What the fuck, Mars. Her thoughts tore her from him. She looked away, but he didn't. Harris stood at the head of the class aghast. Mars collected her things and tucked them in her bag.

The class snickered, Mars stood. "Ya, I know, office." She commented as she passed by darling Adrian Harris and headed for the classroom door.

As the boys found new seats and Stiles was forced to re adjust his… erm... discomfort, a girl stood up exclaiming; "Hey, I think they found something!"

Everyone, including Mars, ran to the window. A body was being moved into the ambulance.

Mars' thoughts raced. That was a body, from the bus, a human… an actual person. Where the hell had he even been to have not been found immediately? "That's not a rabbit." Scott pointed out the obvious. The man jumped up, grabbing at the EMT's shoulders. The class screamed and stepped back, Mars bumped back into Jackson but neither really seemed to care, they were too fixated on what was going on outside.

"Oh, hey." Stiles breathed. "This is good, this is good. He got up. He's not dead, dead guys can't do that." He grabbed Scott's shoulder.

"Stiles, I did that." Horror struck across every one of Scott's features. Mars crossed her arms over her chest, uncomfortable.

"I got to go to the office." Mars lied, not knowing what to say. Avoiding the topic all together seemed like the best option. Without so much as another word, Mars took off out the back door of the school. She shuffled through her bag until she found her pack of desperately needed cigarettes. She put it between her lips and struggled to get her lighter to ignite.

The end lit up and she breathed in heavily. Don't cry. She told herself. Frankly, she didn't understand why she felt the need to. It might not have been him. Maybe it was her? Could she have done that? She tried to recall last night, but she couldn't. Did I do that?

"This isn't about you." She scolded herself, "It's about Scott." She near whispered. "It's about Scott." She was nearly inaudible.

Mars took a seat against the building, sticking her head between her knees, cigarette dangling loosely in front of her between her index and middle fingers.

Was it possible to be repulsed by yourself? By your own selfishness?