I Need You Now

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: From a song prompt (Lady A) Lyrics of the song tell a good story starting with the fight in KB's Apartment. What happens next? COMPLETELY AU, Forget the proposal, the swings, let's see what happens. WARNING ANGST on top of ANGST, NO GUARANTEED ENDING. IF YOU ONLY SHIP CASKETT, WAIT FOR THE ENDING.

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

Also, we take MANY liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events from other Canon episodes to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.

Chapter 15

Becketts Apartment

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PREVIOUSLY

"Hi Katie, look we need to talk about some things, and"

"I know Dad, I know"

"No Katie, I don't think you know about this, but I wanted to tell you, I truly did" Jim was lamenting on the phone,

"Dad, as long as she makes you happy, your vow to Mom ended with Death Do Us Part. it's none of my business to try to block you from happiness. I just wish I had been closer to you, closer to everyone so that I didn't find out in the manner that I did. Hell, I still don't know her name, only that you're married." Kate said, letting her Dad exhale from the breath he had been holding.

"You know her Katie, you've known her most of your life. Peggy Flanigan or you used to call them the Fannigans when they came to visit us when you were small. She was a friend of your Mother from high school all the way through law school. They worked at a few firms together, and well she lost her Bob, a year after we lost Mom.

"I had lunch with her about 2 years after the funeral, and it became a monthly thing, we talked, and realized that at our age we don't have a whole lot of time left, so why should we both be lonely. I'm not or ever will be a replacement for Bob, just as no one could ever replace your mother, it's just too big a gap.

"When you moved to DC, I realized how much my life had been centered around you, and now, you no longer needed, hell let's face it, you hadn't needed me in over a decade. I was just holding on to the last piece of normalcy from our time as a family.

"Peggy had waited patiently, taking the time I would give her, but to borrow one of your sayings Katie, "It's our lives, and we choose not to be lonely". I hope you can accept it, but it's time I put myself first in life.

"I paid my atonement for the hell I put you through, and Peggy is well aware of the demon I face daily with alcohol. She told me if I could make it through the tough stuff, our lives together would be a piece of cake."

"Dad, I'm happy for you, I really am. I was shocked and disappointed that I put work over family again. I traced it down to the trip I canceled on you last minute, that was the week you got married, wasn't it? I'm sorry I wasn't here for you, to welcome Peggy into the family, I'm sure Aunt Martha had something to say about it." Kate smiled into the phone,

"Actually Katie, she asked me why I waited so long, that Jo wouldn't have wanted me to live my life alone. You had your career, it came first, so it was time I took care of myself, so we received her blessing before we told anyone else.

"I think she was happy, that I still loved Jo enough to include her in the ceremony, and she was very hurt you weren't here. I'll warn you; you are in for it when you talk to her. Maybe it's a good thing you don't live in New York anymore" Jim half laughed,

"I do live in New York Dad, that's part of the news I wanted to tell you. Captain Gates put in a good word, and well Mayor Weldon overrode the Commissioner so I am back at the NYPD as Captain of the 12th within the next month. Sophie is engaged and wanted to end the sub-lease early and move in with her fiancé so it all worked out perfectly." Kate said with some excitement,

"Well, have you talked to your friends, I mean, eh"

"Dad, I held a meeting with them at the Old Haunt and apologized to each of them, asking for another chance, some were more reluctant than others but I think I have a chance to start over with them," Kate said,

"What about Rick? Have you talked to him, Katie? I mean, well it's really none of my business, but he took it very hard, worse than you will ever know when you left. Melissa was with him all the way or as Alexis told me, she was afraid he would bury himself in the bottle. I went over and talked to him, asking him please not to do what I had done, to lean on friends.

"He was in Los Angeles for a while, with a young lady who calls him her adopted Dad, then he and Melissa went on a month-long tour, I think of Europe. He had to get away, and I can understand why." Jim said sadly,

"I know Dad, I know, it's all on me, and I realize just how badly I did hurt him. Remember when I told you in the diner, I wasn't sure where our relationship was going? That was a lie, I knew, he loved me and would move heaven and earth to provide my every whim, but my ego got caught up, I fell for a line, a huge recruitment line.

"I had put myself so high up the chain, that Rick was secondary to me, it's terrible to say, and I'm sure even worse for you to hear, but it's the truth. I have to start with that, the truth, regardless of what happens, lies have cost me far too much already.

"When we met at the swings to end things, he showed me the ring he had purchased almost two years ago, just waiting for me to prove to him I was ready. I accused him of not having a direction for us when he was waiting, as he did for 6 years, waiting on me to prove, or even say what I wanted.

"When I chose the job over him, I'm sure part of him died, I know it did for me. The difference was he couldn't control what was happening, I could and remained so high and mighty I threw a beautiful life away with a man who used to love me more than anything." She said with tears in her voice thinking back to earlier in the evening.

"Katie, how do you know he still doesn't love you; I mean have you seen him, have you tried to talk to him, or are you just taking the cowards way out," Jim said with a little bite,

"What do you mean coward? I never was a coward, I told him to his face what I was doing. I mean"

"Katie, you had already told me, Lanie, and the Captain, three people who may care about you, in my case love you, but none of us should have know anything until Rick did. I think you were hoping he would find out and would handle most of the ending conversation, well how did that work out for you?"

"You're right Dad, I did hide the entire process from him from start to finish. I knew what I was going to do the moment I left the interview, I just couldn't tell Rick, which is what hurt him so much. I lied, again, after, well"

"Have you tried to call him or see him, Katie? Does he know you're moving back; I mean that might make things difficult if he has, eh, I"

"You can say it Dad if he's moved on with Melissa. You're right, I went to his book launch tonight, they surprised him with it, and I saw them together. She loves him Dad, and I think he loves her as well. I mean she was right by his side, putting his needs first, massaging his shoulder, even when I showed up, she stood her ground" Kate said, sadly, fighting to hold the tears in her eyes from falling.

"Well, I didn't want to say anything, but maybe this time you pushed him right into the arms of another woman who does love him, honor him, and put his needs ahead of hers. I don't know if you want to try to mend fences with Rick, but there's a lot, and I mean a lot of hurt there Katie."

"I wrote him a letter, Dad. I knew he wouldn't take time to talk to me at the launch so I wrote him a letter asking to meet with him face to face to apologize and try to explain. I stood in line and had the letter inside the book when he saw me, he had a look on his face I had never seen before.

"It wasn't anger, or hurt, or even disgust. I think it was a look of pity, not sure if it was pity for me, for what we could have been, but it wasn't the look I was used to seeing on his face. He definitely wasn't happy to see me, and when I asked him to please just read the letter, his reply shocked me.

"It wasn't malicious, hateful, or even disgust, it was almost cavalier when he said "We'll see, we'll see" as he stuffed the letter into his jacket pocket. I have no idea if he will, I know it will be some time if he even does, I mean I left him for 8 months promising to call, another lie," she said sadly,

"Well, it's out of your hands now, either you wait, or move on, time doesn't stand still for anyone. I told Rick the same thing when he came to see me before he and Melissa went on the tour. I love you Katie, but I told Rick, you made your choice, a choice that didn't include him, now he must do the same."

"Wait, Rick came to see you? When, I mean?" Kate asked now befuddled why her Dad wouldn't agree with her decision.

"He had just returned from LA, the moving truck had just picked up the rest of your belongings, so it was as final as it was ever going to be. He said watching the truck pull away from the loft, made it clear that it wasn't a bad dream or one of your fleeting whims, you were gone, and from his perspective gone for good.

"I know you want to know why did he come to see me, and why I didn't do more to defend your actions. Well, he wanted to know if I had heard from you, even as much as a text. I had to be honest, and say no, he just shook his head. Then he asked, I'm going to be gone for a month, how would you feel if I had a lady friend accompany me, Jim?

"What could I tell him, no, Katie wouldn't like it, hang on a little longer, I'm sure we'll all hear something from her. Those were lies that you might be OK with, but not me, so I told him to not wait for something that may never come true. Actions have consequences, I know that as a lawyer, so go live your life as best you can, I can't fault you Rick, enjoy life." He heard the sniffles on the other end of the phone,

"I understand Dad, I mean I think I do. Looking back now, I don't know what the hell I was thinking, hell I wasn't thinking. Did he say anything about Melissa, I mean anything that you can share?"

"Katie, why do you think Rick, who loved you more than he did life itself would come to me to tell me about another woman he was taking away for a month tour? He came to ensure that I wouldn't be upset and that I knew what was going on and why. All he said was, I guess she was right all along, it was her life, and she's hell-bent on living it the way she chooses. Then he thanked me and told me to keep in touch, and left." That brought more than a sniffle from the other side of the phone,

A few minutes later Kate composed herself enough to ask, "So, I take it there wasn't a case in Arizona, so where are you now dad?"

"We're in Fountain Hills, it's a suburb of Phoenix and we're here visiting Peggy's Brother and Sister and their families. We'll be back in New York late next week, although we're giving serious thought about relocating here. It's beautiful, the weather is much more accommodating to my arthritis and well, all of Peg's relatives are here.

"She has several nieces and nephews who adore her, and well, you're going to do your thing so we'll see. Time to decide that in the next few months." Jim said, throwing it out, to judge his daughter's response.

"You would really move Dad; I mean New York has been your home"

"As it was yours, but you moved to Georgia then DC, neither on my most popular places I would want to live, but as you say, it's your life, you have to live it. The city has a population of just over 25,000 and the last number of major crimes reported was 25. Just like you, it's my life, what I have left, and Peggy and I will decide what's best for us." He said,

Kate was still a bit shocked, her entire world was changing, and now her Dad and his new wife may be moving to Arizona? What the Hell? "You're right Dad, besides, New York to Phoenix isn't that long of a flight."

"Exactly, well, I better let you go, I'll text you our flight information next week, no worries about picking us up, Rick's limo service has got it covered. Talk to you soon, Goodbye" and the line went to static.

She held the phone close to her for a few minutes, almost in disbelief of the conversation she had just had with her Dad. He was going to live his life, what he had left, he and Peggy would make the decision that was best for them, and Rick's limo service was handling picking them up from the airport? What the hell was going on?

Then as she calmed down, Rick probably offered his limo thinking that she would be in DC, and there would be no one to assist with the luggage, or to transport her Dad, he was always thoughtful like that.

The one part that still bothered her was Rick going to see him to talk about his month-long tour of Europe with Melissa. He cared enough about Jim to tell him what was going on, since he knew she hadn't or wouldn't because, well it was her life, her business. She hung her head in shame thinking about that.

It had to be difficult for her Dad not to defend her, but how could he, even as much of an accomplished attorney as he was, even he couldn't defend the indefensible.

XxX

Melissa's Condo,

Several Hours Later,

Melissa opened her eyes to see Rick staring at the ceiling, his arm still pulling her into his side tightly, but he was hurting, she only hoped he wasn't having second thoughts.

"Rick, you can't fix everything, and everyone baby, are you having regrets or what's bothering you? Did I push you too fast?" Melissa asked with tears in her eyes,

Rick rolled her on top of him, pulled her close, and dried her tears with kisses.

"Missy, you have no idea of how good I feel, I mean we've taken it slower than two Amish kids bed courting, and I'm so thankful you have been so patient with me. I know what, and who I want, and well I'm holding her right now, but"

"Rick, you're allowed to feel sad for Kate, I mean, even I do, but you and I have nothing to hang our heads or be ashamed of. She had plenty of time, as you say we took our courtship very slow. I'm just relieved that you don't have regrets now that, well now that we are"

"United?" Rick added with a huge grin on his face, pulling her in for a sensual kiss.

"That's one way of putting, I like that, yeah United, but can you answer a question for me, I'm sorry if this makes me sound stupid." She asked as she propped her head up, the sheet barely covering her breasts, most of them anyway.

"What question do you want to ask Missy? I'll never think you are stupid, so please ask me anything." Rick reassured her as he kissed her again. She pulled back, "I'll never get an answer if we keep doing that," she smiled, so hurry up and answer so we can do it again" she laughed and his eyes twinkled.

"You said we have taken our relationship slower than two Amish kids bed courting, what the hell is that?" she asked, as he laughed and pulled her tight.

"Well in the Amish culture when a boy and girl begin the ritual they refer to as courting, the first step is for the boy to ask if he may drive the girl home from church in his buggy. If she consents, they drive to her home and immediately go upstairs and get into her bed fully clothed, where they are expected to talk all night without touching. It may sound weird but it works for many marriages, I guess." He smiled,

"Where do you find these facts Rick, Gosh, don't tell me research for a book or was it?" Melissa laughed,

"It was, when I was younger there was going to be this plague that wiped out the world and only the Amish survived but wouldn't mate, even under penalties of the law. They would bed court, I got about that far and thought, Nah who would buy this garbage" he laughed,

"Well, I bought everything you've written, and well some books were tough to read, but"

"Melissa, most of that stuff, especially the sex stuff was just my imagination, I mean,"

She kissed him, deep, and whispered, "Let's turn some of those fantasies into realities, for us both" as they proceeded to worship each other's bodies. The first rounds were great, these were out of this world, Melissa held his hand and placed her head on his chest, and fell back to sleep.

Rick pulled the sheet up and over her beautiful breasts that were rising in beat to her breathing, he wasn't ready for another round but he couldn't not look if he didn't cover her. Two people, one bed, and peaceful sleep for each of them after hundreds of nights, it was fitting. Tomorrow he would have to decide about the letter, but that was tomorrow.

TBC