Happy Wednesday!

I'm back with a new chapter and our regular schedule

Thank you so much for all the love and nice comments on the last chapter. I'm enjoying sharing this story with you guys so much!

Shoutout to my girl, Christine. As I always say, she's the best beta in the fandom. And a fantastic friend!

Lyrics for this chapter come from Grow as we go. Gorgeous, gorgeous song.

Enjoy!

When you're high, I'll take the lows
You can ebb and I can flow
And we'll take it slow
And grow as we go
Grow as we go

Every evening, before dinner, unless they had other plans, Kurt and Blaine sat together at the piano, going through sheet music and trying to select the best songs to highlight all of Kurt's vocal abilities. Blaine was patient and encouraging, always finding something positive to say, something that would keep Kurt motivated. And in return, Kurt became even more determined, fiercely so. He wasn't afraid to take constructive criticism and he didn't mind doing the same song over and over again until he nailed it, Blaine clapping for him from the piano bench. They made a pretty good team.

It quickly became the favorite part of their day, even if neither said it out loud.

Kurt carefully pushed through the crowd, drinks safely raised before him. He made it to their table without spilling a single drop, and then sat next to Rachel, glancing up at the stage where Blaine was finishing his cover of Maroon 5's Misery, or at least a rather toned down, piano version of it that sounded so much better than the original, if you asked Kurt. He joined the wave of applause before he turned to Rachel, who was grinning at him.

"Oh Kurt, he's dreamy," she said with a little squeal. "You're completely sure he's gay, right?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I don't know, we may have to ask the guy he brings over at least once a week. Maybe they're playing bingo in his room. Clearly they're really good at it, because they're very enthusiastic when they win."

Santana snorted. "I bet that really makes you miss Mr. Bean, huh? Though I always saw you two as some sort of amorphous sexless entity, to be honest. You didn't seem to have much chemistry."

Rachel reached past Kurt and slapped Santana's shoulder. "Be nice to Kurt! It can't be easy having the love of your life all the way across the ocean! And I'm sure they had a great sex life together. They're both so handsome."

Kurt downed the rest of his drink in one long gulp. "Can we talk about anything else?"

Thinking about Adam... not what Kurt wanted to be doing tonight.

It was as if Blaine had a sensor for when Kurt needed rescuing, because he began talking into his microphone and his friends' attention was suddenly turned to the stage.

"Well, we're halfway through November already, so you guys know what that means," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and then played the first few chords to Jingle Bells. "It's time to get into that Christmas spirit," he added seductively, and some people laughed. "So I thought I would sing one of my favorite Christmas songs, if I can get a little help."

He began to scan the crowd, shielding his eyes from the light that illuminated the stage, and grinned widely when he found his friends' table.

"Oh, there you are!" He exclaimed. "I would like to ask the amazing Kurt Hummel to join me on the stage, please."

Kurt blinked stupidly as Santana laughed and Rachel tried to push him out of the booth. Sam had to stand up and get him on his feet, sending him on his way with a pat on his back.

Blaine was still talking on the microphone. "Kurt is my friend and roommate, and I promise you all: as soon as you hear him sing, you will fall in love with his voice. And don't forget his name, guys. It's going to be shining all over Broadway before you know it."

Blaine stood from the piano to help Kurt onto the stage, which was the perfect opportunity to glare at him.

"What the hell are you doing? We didn't practice," Kurt muttered under his breath, only loud enough for Blaine to hear.

"We practice every day," Blaine said, clearly unconcerned. "Consider this part of our plan to get you ready for your auditions. You need to be willing to perform in front of as many people as you can, even when you don't expect it."

Kurt took a deep breath. He knew Blaine was right. And it always felt so nice to get to perform. He hadn't had an audience in a very long time.

"Okay," he whispered, a little nervously. "What are we going to sing? What if I don't know the lyrics?"

"Oh trust me," Blaine said, as he sat at the piano, and pulled on Kurt's arm to get him to sit next to him so they could share the microphone. "You'll know it."

And just like that, he began to play the intro to Baby, it's cold outside.

Kurt laughed – this was probably not only one of the most renowned Christmas duets, but also one of the most heterosexual songs in the world. Blaine was a ballsy little thing. He loved that.

He heard a catcall from the audience – probably Sam or Santana – just as Blaine looked at him, telling him without words to start.

"I really can't stay..."

It was so fun to do this, to sing without the pressure, knowing he wasn't putting it all on the line during an audition. He realized he had stopped enjoying performing – he only did it as a means to get a job, or only sung unconsciously when he was in the shower. But this... this was just being silly with Blaine on a stage, being cheered on by his friends and a few dozen strangers. It was perfect. Kurt couldn't remember the last time he had smiled this big.

The applause was thunderous when they were done, and Blaine got to his feet and grabbed his hand to make him stand up, pulling him to the middle of the stage before stepping aside to join everyone else in their applause. Kurt felt his cheeks reddening and laughed, pressing his fingers to his lips as if trying to hide the gigantic grin, as if trying to hold the happiness inside in case it tried to escape.

He turned to look at Blaine – his hazel eyes were sparkling in the spotlight – and mouthed a quiet thank you, before he slipped off the stage and let him continue with his set.

He hadn't felt this alive in a long, long time.

The campus cafeteria was as good a place as any to kill time before his class. Blaine had taken over a little table in the corner and was catching up on some reading while absentmindedly eating some lunch. He popped a french fry into his mouth and reread the same line for the tenth time.

He sighed. He wouldn't be able to avoid it, and it was better to do it sooner rather than later. He wouldn't be able to concentrate on his class if he didn't do this now – it had already become the only thing he could think about since he had gotten out of bed that morning.

Blaine sat up straighter, as if it was enough to steel himself, and dialed the number.

The call was picked up on the second ring, the voice crisp and businesslike. "Hello, this is William Anderson speaking."

Blaine swallowed. Had his father not checked his caller ID or had he not even bothered saving his son's contact information at all? "Hey dad, it's Blaine," he said, hoping he sounded a lot more confident and relaxed than he felt. "Happy birthday."

"Oh, thank you. You caught me on a way to a meeting, so we need to keep this brief," his father replied, his tone unchanged. "You sound a little winded. Where are you?"

Blaine forced himself to breathe in and out through his nose, trying to keep his voice from wavering. "I'm at the cafeteria, grabbing some lunch before my class. How are you? How's work?"

There was a pause and his father seemed to be speaking from far away. It took a moment for Blaine to realize he had pulled the phone away and was talking to someone else on his end. He waited as patiently as he could.

"Everything's fine. Busy, of course," William said at last, when his attention returned somewhat to his son. "How are your classes? Are you getting good grades?"

Blaine felt like he had always felt when he was a young boy, bringing his father exams so he could see his great grades. He particularly remembered getting an B+ on a Chemistry exam, a class he had always struggled in and that he had studied very hard for, and rushing proudly into his father's office only to receive an arched eyebrow in return, as well as the words: "That's it? You couldn't do better?"

He had never shown him anything but A+ since then.

"Oh yeah, I try," Blaine replied softly.

"Well, if trying is the best you can do..." William muttered, before once again being distracted by someone on his end.

Blaine gladly took this as an excuse to end the phone call a lot sooner than expected. His chest had begun to feel just a little tight. "Well, I don't want to keep you if you're busy. I guess I'll see you on Christmas? I haven't talked to Cooper and Mom about our plans yet, but... I'll be in Ohio, so."

"I'm not sure about Christmas," William muttered, halfheartedly. There was a rustling of papers on his end, and Blaine could picture him paging through a file. "I have to travel to New York for a case, so I might not make it back in time for the holidays."

"Oh," Blaine was shocked. "You'll be here? Well, if you want to meet for lunch or something before I go to Ohio..."

"Yeah, I don't think so, Blaine," William said. He didn't sound malicious, but simply uninterested. Blaine wasn't sure what was worst. "I'll be pretty swamped while I'm there. Big clients. Can't let anything distract me."

Not even your own son, who you haven't seen in like two years? Blaine thought, but didn't say. "It's okay," he murmured instead, quietly. "I understand."

His father didn't say anything else, and Blaine wasn't even sure he remembered he was on the phone with him anymore.

"I hope you have a nice birthday, then. Bye, dad."

"Goodbye."

The phone call ended almost as abruptly as it had started, and Blaine found himself sitting in the middle of the cafeteria, surrounded by people laughing and talking and yet the only sound he could hear was the silence in his ear where his phone was still pressed. He lowered it slowly and looked down at his half-eaten lunch. His burger was probably cold by now, but he didn't care. He wasn't hungry anymore.

He walked to class feeling as if there was a large, grey cloud hanging over his head. He knew that if it had been Cooper who called him, his father would have delayed his meeting to talk to him, even if he wouldn't have shown him any warmth. It was just not his style. But he would have listened. And he would have talked to him, asked Cooper how he was and what he was up to.

Blaine wasn't sure why he wasn't worth his father's time, but he had asked himself the same a million times, and he was no closer to getting an answer. Or at least a valid one.

He slipped into his usual seat and only a few moments later, Eli was dropping next to him, looking carefully rumpled as he usually did.

"What's with that face?" He asked as way of greeting.

Blaine sighed tiredly. "Oh, I just... it's my dad's birthday. I called him. I don't know why I bother trying to show him I care about him. I don't know why he won't treat me like I'm his son. Is that really too much to ask?"

If he was looking for comfort, or even a smidge of sympathy, it looked like he was getting none today. Or at least, none from Eli. He looked at Blaine like he was a child who couldn't understand the simplest of concepts and he was getting sick of explaining them to him.

"Blaine, come on, you know how he is. Do you really expect anything better from him? Just get over it."

Just get over it. The way his father was over his own son? Why was it so easy for people to dismiss him, to dismiss his feelings? He felt so small, so insignificant. He opened his mouth to tell Eli that he could at least pretend to care a little, but Eli had pulled his phone out and was texting someone, fingers moving quickly over the screen.

Blaine slumped in his seat and waited for class to start.

There were days when Kurt felt like a stranger in his own life, his own skin, his own room. He would sit and look around and find that he couldn't recognize exactly what he had become or when it had all changed around him.

It had started happening some time after he graduated NYADA and nothing had gone according to plan. The longer he chased his dreams, the further away they went. Sometimes he could graze them with the tip of his fingers, but they moved away, hurrying off in a different direction every time.

But Kurt had been stubborn, had continued chasing them, had kept himself busy. It wasn't until he found himself unemployed and with a lot more time on his hands than he was used to that he realized it wasn't only his job, his career that had been completely out of reach, becoming more and more strange to him as days went by.

He looked at his computer screen, where Adam was telling him about going out to dinner with some of his cast mates the previous night and realized he couldn't recognize the boy he had fallen in love with. There was a huge smile on Adam's face as he talked, and he always looked happy when they talked. The distance didn't seem to bother him all that much, and if Kurt was being perfectly honest, it wasn't bothering him that much either, at least not anymore.

What Santana had said the other day at the bar had stayed with him – I bet that really makes you miss Mr. Bean, huh? – because when he lay in bed at night, staring at the ceiling and feeling insecure about his future, the last thing on his mind was his boyfriend.

At some point he had stopped missing him, and he wasn't even sure when that had happened.

He hadn't even told Adam about what had happened at the restaurant. They rarely talked about him – Adam's life was so much more exciting and they had such limited time to talk to each other, that by the time Adam finished telling him all about his adventures in stardom, there wasn't much Kurt could say before they had to end their call. He knew it wasn't an excuse – if he had shown any interest in telling Adam about his life, Adam would have listened. But it was easier to hear about his successes when he didn't have to share his own failures.

"Oh, wait I forgot to tell you what Melissa did at the stage door last night!" Adam exclaimed then, leaning closer to the computer in his excitement.

"Are you planning to ever return to New York?" Kurt asked instead, surprising even himself with the abrupt change of subject.

Adam straightened up in his seat, his face going serious. "Kurt..."

"Because I really do love listening to your wonderful stories, and you know I'm so happy for you, and so proud of you, Adam," Kurt continued, before he lost his momentum. "But every time we talk it sounds more and more like you're building an actual life there. Without me." He looked down at the keyboard instead of Adam's handsome, confused face. "And you haven't even mentioned once coming back to the states. The holidays are coming up and you haven't brought it up. And why would you come back, really? Your entire family's there."

"Kurt, you know I miss you..." Adam began to say, but Kurt cut him off again.

"And I can't afford the trip, either. I... there's been so much going on here that you don't even know about. We haven't shared a life together, as a proper couple, in so, so long, and I've been wondering lately if we ever will again," Kurt licked his lips. His whole mouth suddenly felt so dry.

Adam frowned. "What is it that I don't know? And why aren't you telling me?"

"Because what's the point, Adam?" Kurt said, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. "By the time I can get a hold of you, there's not even a point in telling you anything. And sometimes you look so damn happy, that I don't want to bother you with whatever is going on in my own life, because it's been far from perfect lately..."

"But Kurt, I want to know about your life..." Adam said, starting to sound frustrated as well. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Because you stopped being the person I go to when I need to talk!" Kurt exclaimed, in a louder voice than he planned to. He saw Adam flinch away from the computer. "It's not even practical to talk to you anymore. You're not here, Adam. You're not a part of my life anymore."

There was a stretch of silence that seemed to last forever, until Adam finally nodded and asked, quietly: "Is that really how you feel? That I'm not part of your life anymore?"

Kurt ran a hand down his face. "Can you blame me for feeling that way? I'm lucky if I can get you online for an hour once a week, and we haven't talked about our future in a very long time. Since you left, basically. And every time I talk to you, it sounds like you feel so at home there that you'll never come back."

"Okay," Adam moved a little closer to the camara, and he had that look of determination on his face that Kurt had seen him wear before tests and auditions. "Okay, how about this? What if I get you a plane ticket so you can come visit me during Christmas? You can see the show and meet my family, and see my place and... and if you like it, maybe... I don't know, we can start talking about you maybe coming here? Move to London with me?"

"What would I do in London?" Kurt said tiredly. "And my whole family is here. I barely get to see them and I'm only a few hours away. I don't want to be so far away from my parents." He took a deep breath. Now that he had started talking, he felt like he had to be completely honest. "And Adam... I have to say... maybe I would have considered it a few months ago. Maybe I would have liked the idea, but I don't anymore."

"Why not?" Adam asked, a little desperately.

"Because I don't think I even miss you anymore," Kurt replied, and he hated the flash of hurt on Adam's face.

"Kurt..." Adam said breathlessly.

"I'm sorry," Kurt muttered, feeling the tears hot down his face. "I'm sorry. I know that's an awful thing to say, but... I'm just..."

It was Adam who interrupted him now. His voice was barely controlled, and Kurt could see he was on the edge of tears, too. "Do you still love me?"

Kurt parted his lips to reply, and realized he had no idea what to say. Adam's eyes darkened, and he nodded to himself.

"I guess there's nothing else to say..."

"Adam, wait..." Kurt muttered. Four years of his life with this man, and they couldn't end like this. "I'm sorry. Can we...?"

"I don't think there's a we anymore, Kurt," Adam said, and then the call was disconnected.

The apartment was quiet and dark when Blaine got home later that day. He still felt the weight on his shoulders from everything – his father, Eli's reaction, his own feeling of insignificance. He dropped his coat and bag by the front door, not having the energy to hang them properly, and headed into the kitchen to grab a beer.

He was heading towards the piano – his head and his soul needed the melodies, the sensation of the keys under his fingertips – when he realized the apartment shouldn't have been so deserted. Instead, he walked down the hallway and stopped at Kurt's room.

The door was open, and the room was only illuminated by the lights coming from New York City through the window. Kurt was laying on his bed on top of the covers, completely dressed and staring at the ceiling.

Blaine didn't want to startle him, so he knocked softly to get his attention.

Kurt quickly wiped at his face before turning his head to look at him. "Hey. Sorry. I didn't hear you come home."

Blaine let out a little sigh and stepped into the room. He sat on the edge of the bed, left his beer on the nightstand and said: "Come on. Scooch over."

Kurt obeyed without protesting, and soon they were lying side by side in the near darkness. Except for the faint noise of traffic down in the street, all Blaine could hear was Kurt's breathing.

Kurt tilted his head slightly, almost pressing his face to Blaine's shoulder, and whispered: "Bad day?" Blaine only nodded in response, and Kurt hummed sympathetically. "Me too. Wanna go first?"

Blaine still remembered the bitter taste in his mouth after he had tried talking to Eli earlier. He didn't think he could open up again so soon – what if Kurt also thought he was being stupid? Kurt had the most wonderful father in the world, from what he had told him. He wouldn't understand.

"No, you go first," he said. He needed a little time and he really wanted to know what was wrong with Kurt. Maybe if he could make his day better, Blaine would stop feeling sorry for himself.

For a moment he thought maybe Kurt hadn't heard him, because he stayed silent. They looked up at the ceiling – it was currently illuminated in blues and reds, reflections from some police car going down the street, and it was a pretty distraction, at least until it sped away.

"Adam and I broke up," Kurt finally said.

"Oh, Kurt," Blaine muttered softly. He raised his arm, a wordless invitation for Kurt to move closer to his side, and when Kurt did, he wrapped it around him, pulling him tightly against him. "I'm so sorry. What happened?"

"The distance was too much, I couldn't..." Kurt pressed his face into his shoulder for a moment, and then shook his head. "I don't know. I asked him if he was planning to come back and then we started talking and I realized..."

When Kurt paused again, as if searching for the right words, Blaine began to rub his hand up and down his back. "It's okay. Take your time."

"He asked me if I still loved him and I couldn't say anything," Kurt muttered into Blaine's sweater. "I never told him about the restaurant or about how much I was struggling with my auditions. Whenever I had a bad day and I needed him, it was so hard to find time to call him, to fit our schedules together, that I stopped trying. And I realized that I didn't really need him, not really. And he didn't seem to need me either, you know? He's so happy there. And he was upset today, I could see that, but I think it's mostly because it took him by surprise."

Blaine remained silent, realizing Kurt didn't need him to ask questions – he just needed to talk freely, to get this weight off his chest. So he held him and waited.

"Adam was my first boyfriend," Kurt murmured eventually, in such a quiet voice Blaine almost didn't hear him. "When I got to New York, I was so busy trying to figure out what to do with my life that I didn't even care about my love life, because everything else was already up in the air, and it just wasn't something I could deal with. But then I got into NYADA and in my first week there, I met him. He was... very obvious in his interest for me, and I couldn't believe this cute, talented, older guy wanted me. He could have anyone else, you know? But he pursued me. And I went out with him and realized he was really nice, and soon one thing led to another and we were together, and it really was wonderful."

Kurt paused again and Blaine wondered if he was seeing it all before his eyes – the moment they had met, the way Adam had looked at him for the first time. So many memories with the potential to become painful now.

Kurt sighed, borrowing a little more into Blaine's side. "But I think that, somewhere along the way, I fell more in love with the way he loved me, than with him. It just felt good to have someone, after being by myself for so long. And then he got that part in London and he left... and I missed him, of course I did. But I'm not hearbroken about him being gone, not like I should be. And he hasn't made it a priority to come back and see me whenever he can, just like I haven't made it a priority to save money for a plane ticket to go see him. I don't know... it all feels like it should be more, you know? Like love should be more."

He fell silent and Blaine turned his head to look at him. It was still dark, but they were so close that it wasn't hard to find the spark of Kurt's blue eyes. It was obvious he had been crying, and he looked tired. It had been a very long day for both of them, a couple of really long weeks for Kurt, as well.

"It feels like the ground that I thought was steady under my feet is suddenly shaking non-stop," Kurt murmured with a sad smile. "Nothing in my life is steady right now."

"It will be," Blaine reassured him. His hand stopped stroking his back, and he instead let his fingers slip into Kurt's hair. "It's just a rough patch. A really rough patch, in your case. It's like everything happened all at once and you haven't really caught your breath yet."

"That's exactly what it feels like," Kurt nodded, a little surprised. "But at the same time... I don't know. There wasn't much I liked about my life, really. I never wanted to be a waiter. I never wanted a long-distance relationship. I just let those things happen because I needed the money, or because Adam had an opportunity that was too good to pass up. But I don't want to settle."

"You're too good to settle," Blaine said, earning a little smile. "I'm serious. Don't settle, Kurt. You deserve the best."

Kurt threw his arm over Blaine's body and scooted a little closer, effectively cuddling him. "How do you always make me feel better? Are you a magical creature?"

Blaine snorted. "Not that I'm aware of." He heard Kurt sighing against his chest. "Are you okay? I know it's a stupid question after what you just told me, but..."

"Yeah, I think I am. Or I will be, soon. It was the right decision. Both of us would have ended up being miserable if this went on much longer," Kurt replied, after considering it for a moment. "I know he's happy there. He suggested I move to London and I... can't. Couldn't. That's not what I want."

"It's a brave thing to do, you know?" Blaine said. "To give something up because it's the right thing. It can be scary to let go when you had it for so long. Sometimes it's easier to settle, to hold onto what we think it's more comfortable. But you're braver than most."

He could feel Kurt's smile against his sweater.

"Well, enough about me," Kurt said eventually. "What's up with you? Why was it a bad day?"

Blaine groaned and sat up slightly, only enough to grab his beer and take a good sip, before he plopped back down. "It's stupid."

"I'm sure it's not," Kurt said, poking his side. "Come on. You can tell me anything."

"You just broke up with your boyfriend, Kurt. The last thing you need is to hear about my daddy issues," Blaine retorted, rolling his eyes up at the ceiling. "You really don't..."

Kurt moved to hover a bit over him and covered Blaine's mouth with his hand to silence him. "Hey. Why are you so hard on yourself? You make it sound like whatever's wrong is not worth talking about. You're so worth it, Blaine. I hope you know that."

Blaine could feel his own face softening at Kurt's words. Kurt removed his hand and Blaine smiled up at him.

"Ready to tell me now?" Kurt asked, and Blaine nodded. "Okay, let's switch, then."

Kurt dropped back down onto the bed and opened his arms in invitation. Blaine chuckled as he turned on his side and let his head rest on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt immediately wrapped him up, almost craddling him closer. He couldn't remember the last time someone had held him like this, and the realization made him feel terribly lonely.

"It is kind of a long story," Blaine started, closing his eyes. Kurt smelled really good – he always did – like some kind of exotic flower and something else, something masculine and perfect that made him want to inhale deeply. "I think I mentioned that I have an older brother?"

"Cooper, yeah," Kurt nodded, his chin brushing against the top of Blaine's head.

"Well, he's much older. Twelve years, to be exact," Blaine explained. It wasn't the time to tell Kurt about how the age difference had created such a distance between them that it had taken almost two decades for them to finally get past it and become real brothers, to move past the anger and the resentment and the jealousy. That would have to be a story for another time. "My dad really wanted a son and he got one in his very first try, so when my mom got pregnant with me, he wasn't exactly all that excited. He thought they were too old to do it all over again, but well. I was on the way, not much he could do about it anymore."

Kurt began to rub circles on the small of his back. It felt amazing and Blaine let it distract him for a moment.

"Cooper has all these great stories of how dad took him to games or taught him how to shave and stuff like that. So that means he knew how to be a father. He just didn't want to make the effort with me," Blaine continued, eyes still closed, focusing on Kurt's touch and scent. "He was always too busy to play with me. I don't remember ever getting a hug from him or a kiss goodnight. He wouldn't read me bedtime stories. And it all got worse the older I got, especially when I came out."

Kurt's voice shook a little when he asked: "He didn't accept you?"

Blaine hummed thoughtfully for a moment. "I don't think he cared enough about me to accept me or not. He's indifferent, mostly. I think he believes he hit some sort of jackpot with Cooper, so what's the point bothering with his younger, queer son who keeps finding reasons to disappoint him?"

"Nothing you do is disappointing," Kurt said fiercely, arms tightening around him. "You're amazing. If he's too blind to see it, then screw him."

"You sound like my mom," Blaine chuckled, but it was a humorless sound. "They got a divorce when I was finishing high school. He was upset because I wanted to study music instead of something reliable. She told him that if he couldn't be supportive for once in his life, then he was welcome to leave the house and never come back."

"I think I like your mom," Kurt whispered warmly.

"I think I like her, too," Blaine whispered back.

He allowed himself a pause, just to enjoy the moment of quietness, the sensation of being held and accepted without excuses. Kurt didn't push him to say more. He just kept rubbing his back, and waited.

"The ridiculous thing about all of this is... I can't help but want him to accept me just as I am," Blaine said, sighing. "And that just means I keep setting myself up for disappointment. Because it doesn't matter what I do, he's been hell bent on not giving a shit about me since before I was born. So of course everything I do is disappointing – just learning I was on the way was a disappointment for him. He wanted the one son he could do everything perfectly with, his perfect heir, and then focus on his career. And the funny thing is that when Cooper finally got his head out of his ass, he turned on him and had my back. And you would think that at least that should have made him stop and think and come to his senses. But no. He lost his favorite son and he kept going with his life as if nothing at all had happened."

"I'm so sorry, honey," Kurt murmured. "It must have been a really sad way to grow up."

"It's not like I had a bad childhood," Blaine insisted, because he didn't want Kurt to feel pity for him. "My mom was amazing. My dad didn't deal with me emotionally, but if I ever needed anything, he would get it for me. It's just that sometimes I wanted a hug and not something he could buy. Like... this apartment, for example. My mom gave him so much shit about him being so distant and difficult, about him always making me jump through hoops, making me feel like I wasn't enough... so I when I got into NYU he emailed me and told me he got this apartment for me, and that rent was taken care of for as long as I was in college." He shook his head minutely. "I don't want to sound ungrateful. He made sure I had a place to live. But I wish he had come to my graduation. I wish he asked me how I'm doing. I wish he asked me anything at all." He finally opened his eyes and glanced up at Kurt. "Was that too crazy of me to ask?"

"Of course not," Kurt scoffed, clearly offended on his behalf. "You wanted a dad, not a walking check book. He should have been more supportive. He should have been there for you, show you how proud he was of your accomplishments."

Blaine felt a little tug in his chest. That was exactly what he had always wanted. He had tried explaining it to people – Cooper, his mother, even Eli – but no one had understood, not really. Cooper told him to take whatever his father was willing to give him, his mother often tried to play mediator, and Eli just brushed it off every time he brought it up. But Kurt... Kurt got him in a way no one else ever had.

"So what made today such a bad day?" Kurt asked, after a few seconds. "Did something happen?"

"It's his birthday today," Blaine replied. "I called him. He was... I don't know. Cold, distant. The usual, really. But I asked him about his plans for the holidays, and he won't be in Ohio. He'll be here. I offered to meet him for lunch before I leave, and he said no."

"Oh, honey," Kurt mumbled, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "That's just... despicable."

"I should be used to it by now..."

"No," Kurt cut him off abruptly. "He's your dad. It's his job to be there for you. Don't excuse him. That was a shitty thing. Don't ever feel like you have to make excuses for him, or that what he does makes sense. Want me to tell you something my dad said to me when I was in high school?"

Hesitantly, Blaine only nodded.

"He told me that my job is to be myself and his job is to love me no matter what," Kurt said, his voice strong and unwavering. "Because that's what a father does, Blaine. He's there for his kid. He supports his kid. And it doesn't matter if his kid is ten or twenty or fifty. His love for you is not supposed to come with any conditions."

Blaine felt a lump in his throat and he struggled to breathe. His fingers tightened on Kurt's shirt. "Your dad sounds like a remarkable man."

"He is," Kurt said instantly, no doubt in his tone. "And I'll make sure to introduce you to him one day. He'll love you."

Blaine didn't want to cry – there was no reason to cry, not really. He had been dealing with this since he was a kid. His father certainly did not deserve the tears, and he did not want to think about what he would say if he saw his son crying. So he swallowed the urge to bury his face in Kurt's chest and cry and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry about Adam, Kurt."

Kurt began to rub his back again. "I'm sorry about your dad, Blaine."

They held each other, and for a while, it was enough – enough to soothe two cracked hearts and patch them up again. Blaine closed his eyes and did not think about how, with his face buried in Kurt's neck, he felt at home for the first time in his life.

A little heart to heart, and what most of you have been waiting for – no more Adam!

Thank you so much for reading! I'll be seeing you again... sooner than you think ;)

Love,

L.-