quick trigger warning for intrusive thoughts!
...
"And he didn't even ask her out!" Leo yelled. "Can you believe it?" Leo leaned back in the passenger seat, slumping over dramatically.
Nico smiled. "I guess he lacks your courage," Nico mocked.
"Yeah, if he doesn't ask her out, I'm gonna make fun of him until the day he dies," Leo decided.
"You're a real comedy genius," Nico drawled.
"Totally."
The car was silent for a moment, that awkward bit of quietness that came after laughter. "...Okay, about this party of yours," Nico said testily after a beat. "Where exactly is the party and when should I drive us?"
"The party? Oh yeah, the party." Leo snapped his fingers. "It's this Saturday. Starts at 8 P.M. We're gonna meet up at Jason's house to prepare. Then you can drive us, or we'll carpool with Piper, or whatever."
"...Where is his house?" Nico asked, after hearing no elaboration from Leo.
"Oh yeah." Leo scribbled down the address on a spare McDonald's napkin. "There ya go. Be there or be square."
"That was so lame," Nico laughed. "What are we gonna do, just prepare for the party?" Nico was still unsure of whether he was even going to go.
Leo frowned, suddenly feeling kind of insecure. He shrugged. "You got it. Well, I was gonna give Jason a surprise makeover," Leo said, drumming chewed nails against the center console. "Wanna help?"
Nico bit his lip. He really didn't want to try to force himself into Leo's friend group. He was okay hanging out with Leo alone, but the prospect of hanging around with people he barely knew freaked him out. He didn't know how he was even going to survive the party on Saturday. "I don't know if I would be good at that kind of thing."
Leo took note of Nico's discomfort. "Hey, it's gonna be chill. Jason's friendly, he's a great guy. His sister is nice too. Pipes is a little abrasive at first, but eventually, you'll settle into the group."
"I doubt that," he mumbled bitterly, making a particularly sharp turn. "I don't exactly fit into most places."
Leo nodded slowly, doing his best to comprehend that. "Okay, okay. I respect that. But can you please at least try? You can dip whenever you want, and if you need me, we can have a code word."
Nico scoffed. "Okay, calm down, we don't need all that. I'm not some sort of porcelain doll." Nico looked down and smiled. "...I'll go. I might as well try."
"Yes! You won't regret it. Oh, it'll be fun. We can all carpool and then-oh! We'll meet up with Callie at the party. Callie and I have called a few times, she's pretty great, I like her voice a lot."
"I forgot about her," Nico said honestly. "She seemed fine."
"She's way more than fine, she's awesome," Leo said indignantly.
Nico shrugged. He didn't care much for listening to boys his age rave about hot girls. One, he couldn't relate, and two, why should he care about someone else's romantic partner? "If you say so."
"I think you guys might get along better than you'd think," Leo said, bouncing his leg.
Nico snorted. "Sure."
"I mean it!" He looked over at Nico indicatively. The boy was almost-smiling, just like how he was almost Leo's friend. "I do."
Nico's head shook up and down lightly, a barely noticeable gesture, one only evident if someone was looking closely at him.
…
On the first Sunday of every month, Leo would visit his mother's gravestone.
It was a long ride on his skateboard. Four miles round-trip. He rode the bus half-way there in order to cut corners, but it was still a lot of skating. Leo deserved it, though.
Overexertion was the least of the penalties he deserved for what he had done.
Leo approached his mother's gravestone. He clutched a bouquet in his right hand, a purchase from the local florist down the road. Three fivers for a bundle of purple hyacinths from a smiley individual. He had snickered and clapped Leo on the back and told him that "these flowers will knock her socks off, go get her tiger!"
Leo had awkwardly laughed and then clenched his palms so tightly crescent moons formed.
"Hey," he mumbled, sitting down in the space between his mother's grave and its neighbor. The ground was a little bit muddy from the rain two nights ago. "For you." Leo gently set the flowers on top of the earth with a sigh. He leaned against its side, shivering against the cold stone, and for a second, Leo could almost feel his mother, warm and laughing at something he had said.
He opened his eyes and he was back in the graveyard. With a bitten lip and watery eyes he tapped methodically against the stone, a little message to leave his mother. "I um, got a job. It's not as good as the old machine shop -" Leo laughed a little, a glum sound. "- but I think. You'd be. Proud of me." He spoke strangely, warped and dry.
It's just a fucking minimum wage job it's not that serious she wouldn't even care about this you're so pathetic it hurts. "I miss you. It's not the same. Dad hasn't visited in a while."
He doesn't even care about you he only pays for your things out of obligation and you don't even deserve that. "I'm glad he didn't move us far. It's in one of the apartments, over in Deirdre. A little better than our old crib." Leo's voice cracked a little. He was emotional. Visiting here panged his heart, hurt him in the worst possible way while also providing him with the slightest bit of closure.
It always invoked the same feelings in him when he visited. It had been nearly nine years since her death and he still felt his chest weigh down, his eyes flood, and his head burn when he visited. Leo supposed it was a flaw in his machinery, a minor bug that had been weighing him down, a nick in his important areas that slowed the most impertinent aspects of him.
You can't even fucking fix yourself can you? "I brought you these flowers." Leo fought to find his voice, tugging and pulling until it came out, a hazardous liquid spewing from his mouth, dribbling on his chin, because no matter how hard he tried he could never be eloquent with his words. "Do you like them?"
Green sprouts framed an explosion of buds, bunches and bunches of purplish stuff. The colors were vibrant and beautiful, bred incredibly by the florist to have blue edges blend seamlessly into plum. There were a couple of white and pink ones thrown into the mix, highlighting the features of the purple effectively. They were tied together with another white ribbon and a plastic sleeve, perfectly assuming.
If Leo could see himself skating down the street, clutching a bundle of these, he too would assume they were for a partner, a small present to apologize for little lover's quarrels or broken promises. The knot in his chest tightened. You're such a fucking -
Leo sucked in a breath and stood up, shaking his intrusive thoughts off and lingering his eyes on the top of the grave. If they lingered any lower, he would see her name, the date, a reminder of a day he would kill to forget.
Leo tapped one last message onto his mother's headstone and left, a bittersweet smile lingering on his lips.
...
Nico worried about the party a lot more than he let on.
A part of him was thrilled. He hated to admit it, but he always wanted to go to a crazy high school party- and in just one day, he was going to go to one. Nico di Angelo, who spent his usual Saturdays playing Pokemon, was going to go to a kegger.
The sentence felt so foreign. The words 'Nico' and 'party' weren't words that went together. Party? Ha! More like coop yourself up in your room and cope with the painful feeling of loneliness by playing Pokemon to escape reality!
Yeah, maybe getting out more would help Nico. The party might be the catalyst for that. Technically, he wasn't even invited, so he was crashing. Did that make it cooler or less cool, Nico wondered. Nevertheless, he was sort of excited.
At the same time, he was anxious as hell. Thinking about all the people that were attending made his head hurt. The Verbs were definitely going. If the Verbs went, that meant the freshman wannabes would follow. The pathetic seniors who couldn't get girls their own age would go because the freshman were. There were also the jocks and the Honor Society kids and all of it was too much to keep track of.
Plus, the party was likely going to be packed, packed with drunk teens and stupid antics and bad dancing. Nico was worried about where he was going to slot into in all of this. He didn't want to be a wallflower, for fuck's sake.
Nico had done some drinking before. When he was thirteen and decided he needed to be rebellious, he stole a bottle of vodka from his dad's liquor cabinet. He managed to drink a good amount before getting shitfaced. It wasn't really a good experience, especially since he was drinking alone. He mostly just felt empty afterward and his dad definitely noticed it the next time he poured out some vodka and ended up with a watery mess, but he didn't say anything.
In a social situation, things were different. He wasn't thirteen and curious. Anything could happen with the power of alcohol. He could become some sort of social butterfly. Nico snorted at the frankly stupid thought.
Frivolous things like parties weren't something he wanted to consume his mind. Nico was always deadset on never falling into the same traps as his peers. He wasn't going to obsess over his clothes or his hair or any of that stuff. He was fine with his usual dark clothing and messy hair.
Yet here he was, digging through his closet for things to wear. Leo had just told him to wear "whatever you want, man! It's not gonna matter." He flicked through article after article of clothing, past identical pairs of jeans and random graphic tees. Nico sighed, finally just deciding on jeans and a baggy black sweatshirt. As Leo said, it wouldn't matter.
He rechecked his watch. The party started at 8, and Leo told him to go to Jason's at 5. It was barely even 4 o'clock.
Nico groaned, flopping onto his bed and covering his face with his hands. He was overthinking it. "Fuck it, I just won't go," Nico growled, digging his hands into his pillow anxiously.
But he knew he couldn't just do that. He promised Leo, and for some reason, he was insistent on keeping it.
That boy was going to be the death of him.
Leo was getting less and less subtle about integrating Nico into his little friend group, but Nico was insistent on worming his way out of it time and time again.
It was stupid. Nico wanted to be apart of a group more than anything. He wanted to be able to fit in like everyone else. But he was openly declining an option to do so? What the fuck was wrong with him?
He knew it would all go wrong. He knew he would be an awkward hindrance to the group rather than a worthwhile member. He'd be a little bit of dead weight they'd keep around out of obligation. Nico considered that likely fate to be even worse than simply not having a friend group in the first place.
It's not like anyone wanted him around. Leo might find him fun to be around for a little bit, but eventually, he wouldn't. Either Leo wouldn't stick around for his shit, like Bianca, or Nico would run off on his own accord.
Nico sucked in a breath and pushed all of that away. No. He was going to relax and he was going to have a good time, goddamnit. He was going to be a normal teenager, and he was going to go to a kegger. He ran a hand through messy black hair and readied himself to leave.
Nico left his room, car keys in hand. He didn't carry anything else on him besides that - if he brought his wallet, it would get stolen, and he didn't have a cell phone to carry. Those were a commodity for only the richest folk.
"Where are you going?" Nico's eyes widened. In the heat of the moment, he had seriously forgotten he had a stepmom.
He thought of an answer, deciding to opt for the truth after a bit of hesitation. "I'm going to a party," he said, stoically. Persephone's lips tightened.
"Okay, stay safe out there." She left. That was that. No interrogation, no warnings, no shoutings.
If one moment in Nico's entire life could sum up his relationship with Persephone, that was it. Nico let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and walked out to his car, fingering the Cubone keychain on his car keys absentmindedly and thinking of Leo.
…
"Glad you can make it!" Leo beamed at Nico from the doorway. In the background, Jason was strapped to a chair, mouthing the word 'help' distinctly to Nico. A black-haired girl was brushing his hair aggressively. She made eye contact with Nico and waved to him. Another girl sat off to the side, eyes trained on the TV idly.
Nico gave a shy smile. "Thanks for inviting me," he said genuinely. Leo smiled back. Nico saw his real smile in that instance, sort of subtle. It made him look vulnerable, in a way. His hands twitched. like Leo wanted to do something with them but wanted to respect boundaries.
Leo kept up his awkward smile, flicking his glance behind him. "Shall we, uh, go in?" Nico nodded. Something weird had passed between them, but Nico chose not to acknowledge it.
They walked inside. It was an ordinary suburban house, nothing special about it. "This is Thalia, Jason's older sister," Leo introduced her to Nico as they walked in. "She's like, the coolest person ever," he gushed.
She beamed, icy blue eyes crinkling as she did. "I try." Thalia redirected her attention to her brother, fussing over his hair. "God, you have so much dandruff."
"How do I get rid of it?" Jason asked, crossing his arms as best as he could under his 'restraints' (he was tied up with a banner that read 'Happy 14th Birthday, Jason!'). "I can't fix something without knowing how to fix it."
"Like this." Thalia prodded Jason's chest. He looked down (a mistake) and Thalia took the opportunity to nick his nose. "Ha! You fall for it every time. Never gets old, I tell ya." Jason chuckled, scrunching up his nose.
Nico's shoulders relaxed- the environment felt very friendly, putting him less on edge. The dynamic between Jason and Thalia made him a little nostalgic. "Oh yeah, and that's Reyna," he said, pointing to the brown-haired girl on the couch. "I think she's Thalia's girlfriend or something?"
"Sure," Reyna said neutrally. "Nice to meet you, Nico." Reyna had a terrifying exterior - from her bulging muscles to her sharp eyes - but the way she looked at Thalia made their relationship clear.
"You two." Reyna nodded, keeping her eyes on the Spongebob episode that was blasting on TV. Nico took a reluctant seat next to Reyna, a full couch cushion away from her. Leo opted to hover over Jason as Thalia continued the makeover process.
"How do you tolerate him?" Reyna whispered to Nico, once she was sure Leo was distracted ("what does this brush do? Can I help you?"). Nico snorted, caught off guard by Reyna's forwardness.
"He's not so bad once you get to know him," he answered softly. "Some of his jokes are kinda funny."
"You're much more patient than me," Reyna admitted, resting her arm on the couch. "I respect you, Nico."
"Thanks." Something about Reyna was soothing. For such a strong-looking girl, she had a soft, Bob Ross-like voice. They watched the episode of Spongebob wordlessly, tuning out Thalia, Jason, and Leo in the back.
"Now that I've finished fixing Jason's stupid hair ("hey!"), we're onto his costume." Thalia narrated dramatically like she was on an episode of some extreme makeover show.
Leo grabbed Jason's cloak from the back of the couch. "What do you think about his costume?" he asked Nico, slumping down in between he and Reyna.
Nico blinked, catching onto Leo's choice of words. "Costume?"
"Yeah, it's a costume party, dude," Thalia said. "Where's your costume?" She peeked over the couch, looking at Nico's attire and deeming it un-costume-like.
Nico glowered. "Nobody told me about costumes." He gave a seething look to Leo, who gulped and smiled reflectively.
"Relax! I have a costume for you right here," he said nervously, rooting through a pile of clothes on the ground. He shoveled the bundle into Nico's arms. "Go to that spare room and change, preferably with the lights off. So it's a surprise. Yeah. Go."
Nico let himself be herded into a spare room defeatedly.
…
"I look ridiculous," Nico complained, looking himself in the mirror.
"Nonsense!" Leo insisted. "It's kind of a cute look," he said shyly, eyeing Nico up and down appreciatively. Nico couldn't tell if he was being ironic or not.
Nico was wearing a pair of spiky black wings, what looked to be a Mickey Mouse headband shittily cut into the shape of bat ears, and a black sweatshirt. Even worse, his usual black jeans were switched out for a pair of black shorts and fishnets. "What the fuck is this?"
"Um, a b-bat costume?" Leo was starting to get the feeling Nico wasn't a fan of it. "Do you like it?" Leo was praying Nico loved it. The fact that his eyes steamed with anger was probably just a coincidence.
"..."
"Is that a yes or a no?" Nico grabbed a can of hairspray from Thalia's little makeover station. Leo gulped.
"I'm guessing that's a no!" Leo cried out as he sprinted away from a surprisingly fast and definitely armed Nico. Nico's long, fishnet-clad legs benefited him in the chase, as opposed to Leo's stubby, ungraceful ones. He kept tripping over his own feet and trying to reason with Nico. "C'mon, I thought we were friends!"
Nico paused for a split second, and the corner of his mouth quirked up, an oh that's me! kind of smile, like he was still awestruck over the fact that he was Leo's friend. But then he remembered that he was supposed to be murdering Leo.
"Fishnets? Really?" He cut through the halls, trying to intercept Leo but barely missing every time.
Jason shook his head. "Those two…"
"Quit moving," Thalia complained, trying to get Jason's makeup just right. "Reyna, darling, can you pass me the eyebrow pencil? Thanks." She caught the pencil without even looking. She and Reyna were truly a power couple, synergized in a dangerous way.
Jason swallowed heavily. "Can you please hurry it up, Thalia?" Jason asked, fidgeting in his seat. "She might come here before you're done."
"I have to -" she raised her voice to be heard over Leo's shrieks of terror - Nico must have caught up to him finally. "I have to make you look absolutely perfect, Jason. Don't rush me."
After a while of running, Nico got tired and stopped, placing his palms on his knees and struggling to catch his breath. "Okay, I'm done. I'm not wearing this stupid costume though." He looked at his fishnets with disdain.
"C'mon, how about you just wear your usual jeans or something?" Leo reasoned.
"...Fine," Nico somehow found himself saying.
...
After getting bored of watching Thalia work on Jason's face, Nico and Leo joined Reyna on the couch, watching the latest Spongebob episodes and laughing together. Reyna wasn't as stiff as she seemed. Apparently even the most serious people loved Spongebob.
"Guys!" Thalia shouted. "Who is ready to see the new-and-improved Jason Grace?"
Reyna grunted, apparently uninterested in her girlfriend's decisions and more interested in watching Spongebob. Leo gave a half-hearted "Hell yeah!" to be a good sport, and Nico kept picking at his cuticles boredly.
"...Okay, well, he's coming in now," Thalia huffed, apparently disheartened by their lack of interest. "Here he is!"
Jason walked in embarrassedly, giving an awkward little twirl and smiling awkwardly. Nico looked up and blinked. "He looks exactly the same."
"No he doesn't!" Thalia said, defensively. Leo glanced up at Jason.
Nico was right - he looked like ordinary, handsome Jason. Blond hair cleanly split down the middle, Jeffrey Daumer glasses, and blue Air Jordans. The only difference was some light eyeliner and of course, his costume: he was wearing his cloak over a white undershirt. "Thalia, you seriously spent half an hour on this?"
"I got rid of his dandruff!"
"He had dandruff?"
"Shut up," Thalia said, shaking her head. "You still like me, right Reyna?"
Reyna smiled coyly. "Maybe." Thalia rested her head onto Reyna's shoulder, kissing her neck chastely.
Jason gave an obligatory "ew!" and slumped on the couch, squishing into Leo's side. They were pretty affectionate to each other - Jason didn't want to change that just because Leo had liked him at one point.
"That was torture," he moaned. "Think Piper will like this?" He gestured to his body. Leo scanned him.
"Hmm… Well, it really doesn't show a lot...think she's into modesty?" Leo pondered, adjusting Jason's cloak to see if it would expose more skin and frowning.
"Oh, I don't know," Jason said wearily. An idea came to Jason's mind. "How about you put on your costume? I could use a good laugh."
"No! I want it to be a surprise," Leo said stubbornly. Jason nudged Nico's side suddenly.
"Nico, don't you agree? You could use a good laugh?" Nico nodded, a little flustered at the fact that he was actually being included. He really didn't want to say anything stupid.
"See! Now go put it on." Leo groaned dramatically and ejected himself from the couch. Jason smiled and stretched out on the couch, taking advantage of the free real estate that was available after Leo left. He started to watch the episode of Spongebob like Nico was.
The entire premise was sort-of confusing to Jason… apparently a sponge and a starfish had adopted a baby clam? It was weird, especially without the context of the first half of the episode. He clicked his tongue, bored of waiting for Leo (he wasn't really an impatient person, but when he was riddled with the anxiety of an upcoming dance, well, he was open to any distractions).
Jason looked to the right of him- yup, his sister was making out with Reyna. Classy. For a college freshman, she lacked tact. And to think he thought Reyna was too serious or busy for a relationship.
He looked to the left. Nico was there, entranced in the episode somehow. Against his better judgement, Jason decided to strike up a conversation with Nico. "So, ever been to a party before?"
Nico flinched, apparently shocked that someone was talking to him. "No," he replied simply. It didn't surprise Jason. Nico looked like he was one of the loners at school. He had a scary exterior and didn't look easy to open up to. Still, Jason figured he might as well try. After all, Leo was somehow friends with Nico and Leo was Leo.
"That's cool. Well, ever done any drinking?" he followed up.
"A little at home," he admitted, shifting in his seat and thinking of his thirteen-year-old hijinks. "I guess I am a little nervous though."
Jason smiled. "You'll be fine. I've only been to one party before. Never drank, though. I was always designated driver."
"And because if class presidents got caught drunk, they'd be kicked out," Thalia chimed in, apparently done shoving her tongue down Reyna's throat. "That's why me and Reyna're just gonna stay here." Jason's lips twitched at the contraction- y'all'd've was bad enough as is.
"I mean, I'm a senior and she's in college," Reyna said, gesturing to Thalia. "Would be uncool to go to a high school party."
"Check out Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme!"
"Goddamnit," Nico mumbled under his breath. Jason turned his head to see what Leo looked like with his costume on.
He strutted into the room confidently, clad in his 'angel' costume: bird wings and a white tunic. It contrasted heavily with his thick-soled boots. Out of all the costumes, Leo's looked the most half-assed. Fit with his personality.
Before anyone could give an answer, Piper barged into the house, swinging open the door obnoxiously with no regard to whether she was being too rough. "I'm here!" she sang out. "Leo, you look stupid," she fingergunned.
"Oh, whatever, devil-girl."
Jason swallowed. Piper looked really good, and suddenly his cloak felt stupid compared to Piper's ensemble. Her Mary Janes gave her a little height, making her look incredibly powerful. Like she could stomp Jason's head in. Frankly, if she did that, he'd probably apologize to her.
"I don't wanna dilly-dally, guys! We gotta go!" Piper insisted, hopping up and down excitedly. "We agreed to go ASAP. It is now ASAP."
"Okay, okay, jeez," Leo grumbled, climbing off the couch and slumping over to Piper. Nico followed, but Jason was frozen in place.
"Be cool, little bro," Thalia whispered, rubbing his shoulder as Reyna nodded encouragingly. Jason stood, saluted them with a dorky smile, and left the house.
...
The car ride seemed to last forever to Leo. Long, boring, and monotonous things didn't seem to combine well with ADHD and slight carsickness.
On top of all that, he was meeting with Callie, his girlfriend. Leo figured it was their first date, kinda, and that was a lot. What was he supposed to do? Was a party the best first date location? Was he being an idiot? He fiddled with the edge of his tunic, which was already stained with Jason's eyeliner somehow.
The wings of his angel costume pressed into his back awkwardly. Leo looked in the rearview mirror, hoping to lock eyes with Piper, who rode shotgun. She winked at him. Thank god for Piper. Hopefully now he wouldn't be so bored.
"Sooo, I'm finally gonna meet the elusive Callie," Piper sang out, in the same tone a third-grader would use to make fun of someone else's crush. "Hopefully I can ask her why she'd choose to date you."
"Oh, shut up Piper," Leo said, but it was all good-natured. They were great with banter. "Imagine not having a date."
Piper scoffed, but she deflated somewhat and turned pointedly away from Jason. "Well, excuse me. And by proxy, you also insulted Jason and - and -"
"Nico." Nico supplied, deadpan and unsurprised by the fact that he was forgotten. Piper smiled apologetically.
"Oh, sorry man. I forgot you were here - you're so quiet! I never hear you speak." Nico groaned internally. He hated people who treated him like a pet or something just because he didn't talk much.
"It's fine. Are we almost here, Jason?" Nico asked, trying to edge away from the topic as fast as he could. Jason clicked his tongue.
"Good question… I think it's on our right. Look for a two-oh-six...?"
Eventually, Leo spotted the number. Or rather, he took note of the dozens of cars parted in one driveway. "Holy shit." There were cars lining the street, cars parked in the grass, and cars parked in other driveways that probably weren't supposed to be there.
"Damn!" Jason whistled.
"You know it's serious if the boy scout said a bad word," Leo teased. He watched packs of teens walk in. There were a few people on the lawn, clearly smoking weed. Off to the side, there was -
"Callie! Look, she's right there!"
Piper spotted her immediately. "Why is she just standing there? Oh well, she's actually kinda cute." She smiled at Leo. "You got lucky as fuck."
"Oh, I know."
Jason eventually was able to find them a parking spot on the street. Leo tugged on the car door handle impatiently. "Unlock the car!" His stomach was churning unpleasantly and he just wanted to tackle the situation as fast as he could.
Jason's eyes widened. Leo was going feral. "Okay, calm down. I'm just explaining ground rules. Don't leave your drink unattended. If you need to get away from someone, use the word taco." Leo rolled his eyes and mouthed along to Jason's speech, garnering a stifled laugh from Nico.
"He says this every time we're at a setting like this," Leo whispered as Jason explained what to do when caught alone.
He finished his speech and unlocked the car. Leo burst out the door and sprinted up to the house. Piper laughed, looking at Jason and Nico. "Let's go before he makes a fool of himself."
...
Long chapter because you deserve it!
I'm sorry for the wait, but I kind of don't feel that good about Blockbuster and its writing. Since a lot of people are enjoying it, I'll keep publishing, but I'm definitely not as confident in my writing as I thought. So, yeah. sorry