"Get up," JJ demanded, knocking on Emily's bedroom door.
Emily grunted in response, but failed to comply.
"Come on, sleepyhead," she persisted. "We've got places to be. Get up."
After a few moments, the door swung open, revealing Emily wrapped up in a loose sweater, bleary-eyed and frowning.
JJ attempted a sweet smile, an apology for the rude awakening. "Get dressed – we're going out for breakfast," she persisted.
Glancing back over her shoulder at the bedside alarm clock, she argued, "But it's almost eleven..."
"Well, brunch then."
"But..." she tried to argue.
JJ wasn't listening, though. "Get dressed."
"Surprise!" the crowd shouted at Emily's emergence into the little cafe, causing her to to blink in stunned silence for a few moments while her brain played catch-up.
"It's your baby shower," JJ supplied helpfully.
She nodded slowly a few times. "Wow... You guys... Wow!" It was clear she was overwhelmed by the unexpected crowd, but was doing her best to hide it.
In the next moment, she was engulfed by a signature Penelope Garcia embrace. "Oh, Emily the Strange and Beautiful, I'm so excited to celebrate you and your little jellybean!" she trilled.
"Me too," Emily supplied, "Or I will be when you stop pushing the baby into my bladder..."
Backing off, she smiled apologetically. "Sorry, I'm just so excited!"
Smiling her thanks, Emily settled back in a chair. "You guys didn't have to do this," she insisted. "It's too much..."
"Em, you have a lot of friends who love you and want to celebrate you and your baby," JJ murmured.
Emily was sitting on the sidelines of the party, quietly prodding at her cake with her fork when someone settled next to her without a word.
They sat in companionable silence for a few moments, then the newcomer murmured, "I heard you like chocolate cake the best, but Penelope convinced me to go with vanilla because she wanted the pink and blue sprinkles inside."
Emily smiled softly. "Penelope Garcia can be surprisingly convincing when she wants to be," she agreed. "I don't mind, though."
"Then what's making you look so forlorn?" Alex asked. "If you feel like sharing."
"It's just... Clyde would have been the life of this party," she murmured. "He was so much fun. He always made me laugh, reminded me to be fun too, to not be afraid to look a little silly if it made me happy."
Alex nodded her understanding. "He was a good man," she agreed. "He came in every single week after you found out you were pregnant to get you a chocolate croissant. He was always so excited too – he loved to tell me how big the baby was, how you were feeling. He was so ready to be a father."
Emily let out a shaky breath, attempting a smile. "He would've been the best dad," she said. "I was never sure how I'd do as a mother, but I never doubted him."
"I know you'll be a great mom," Alex assured her.
Chewing her lip in thought, Emily admitted, "I'm not so sure sometimes. When he was here, it was like... I knew that I could face anything so long as he was beside me, you know?"
Alex reached over to gently squeeze her knee in a gesture of silent comfort.
"He made me feel strong and capable and...I don't know...like I could be a mother. I've been so scared about becoming a parent for the entire time it took us to get pregnant, scared that I'll fail, that I'll screw up my child because I had no role model of what a good mother is. But Clyde refused to let me think like that because he always believed I'd be a good mother. He was my rock."
Alex nodded her understanding. "Well, you have a community of people here who love you and want to support you. You can lean on us, you know? We can be your rock, if you let us."
Emily smiled softly. "I really do appreciate everything you've all done for me – I know I could never have survived the last few months without all of your support."
"What are you doing here?" Emily asked as she stepped out of the cafe, balloons in hand (Garcia had convinced her to take a few photos, all pink and blue balloons and hands on her belly...).
Derek didn't answer, instead looking her up and down, brow raised. "What's with the get up?"
"I'm taking some pictures," she said plainly, "To celebrate my baby shower."
"Ah... I'm betting this was your idea?" he said to Penelope who merely shrugged, smirked. He turned back to Emily. "Baby shower, huh?"
She shrugged. "Not my idea."
He laughed. "I bet it wasn't."
"Anyway, what were you doing here?" she demanded again.
He shrugged. "I heard there was cake," he admitted. "I never turn down free cake."
She rolled her eyes.
"Come on, Em," he needled her, "Where's your Christmas spirit?" When she remained glaring at him, he lifted her in his arms like he was preparing to carry her over the threshold like newlyweds.
She squealed. "Derek! Put me down!"
"Nope. Not until you say I can have cake..." he teased.
She huffed. "You are a child, Derek!"
He spun her around. "At least one of us is having fun."
JJ emerged then with a plate of cake. "Happy now?"
"Absolutely!" And without warning, he dabbed his fingers in the icing, then smeared it across Emily's face.
And, at that moment, Garcia snapped a photo, much to Emily's chagrin.
Dear Pilgrim;
Sorry for what's surely going to be a dreary letter. Today has taken a lot out of me. Christmas is weird, huh? It brings out so much good in people, but sometimes you can still feel so alone...
With you, I don't feel so alone, though. Even if I only know you as the guy with terrible handwriting and worse baking skills. I know we've only shared a carefully edited version of our lives, but I still feel I can be honest with you.
The story of The Nutcracker started when I was a kid. My dad used to take me to the ballet every year – it was the only time it was just the two of us, which is what I wanted all year long.
But when I was eight, he left. I wrote him a letter every year and sent him tickets that I saved up all year to buy. But he never came.
Not sure why I still love going, but it's just kind of stuck with me. One thing I always promised myself was that if I had kids, I'd never abandon our traditions together, no matter how busy I got.
I'm not mad at my father, really. I just want to do better. Be better.
Anyway...what about you? Where does the Diehard love come from? Why not, you know, a normal Christmas movie like The Grinch?
And since we're sharing... Do you really think it's possible to find real love this way? Are you even looking for something real or are we just making friends? Because honestly...I don't even know what I'm doing here. Things are complicated for me, so, please...tell me the truth.
~ Silver Belle