"I still can't believe you talked me into this."

"But, purrincess, this was one of our rules."

Marinette was still kicking herself. Since when had she thought it'd be a good idea to let Chat meet her parents? When? She needed Alya. Alya needed to be here now. Alya was good with a CRISIS. Her parents were definitely going to bring something up. She wasn't sure what yet. But it was going to be embarrassing. Could she please sink through the floor already? If only that was one of her Ladybug powers. This was going to be a disaster. What if her parents embarassed her and then Chat got creeped out, because he realised that she was actually really weird. And then Chat would – he would leave! And go back to being a flirt during akuma fights. And maybe she'd miss his friendship quite a bit as well, but THAT WASN'T WHAT WAS IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW. Focus Marinette, focus.

"Just because it was one of our rules, doesn't mean you didn't talk me into it."
There. She'd regained some control over her mental faculties. Logic was good. A reasonably calm face was good, although Marinette had no idea how she'd managed it, considering she was the WORST ACTOR IN THE UNIVERSE. Ok. This was good. This was easy. She could do this. No need to panic that much, right? All she had to do was chill. Her parents couldn't be that bad anyway. A little voice in her subconscious piped up that, yes, they really could, but Marinette smothered that thought with extreme prejudice. What was she even afraid of? Chat being shown some baby pictures of her? Oh god yes that was what she was dreading. Baby Marinette spent far too much time with her face painted as a cat.

"Ahhh, your infallible logic defeats me," Chat retorted.

"I'm warning you now, Chat, that if you embarrass me, you will regret it."
Marinette stared him down stonily. She was not risking embarassment

"Okay, yep, sure," Chat gulped, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. Marinette watched him chew his lip nervously.

"We're here," he said, in a desperate attempt to get out from beneath her gaze.

Marinette went to knock on the door, but her hand collided with Chat's as she did so and boy if that wasn't just a little bit awkward. Particularly as her parents, who had even worse timing than Hawk Moth, might she add, opened the door at the same time.

"Marinette! We heard about the akuma attack are you ok, sweetie?" Sabine asked.

"And who's this handsome boy right beside you?" her father added, winking non-too-subtly as he did so.

"Ma, Pa, this is Chat. He wanted to drop me off after the akuma attack."

Chat elbowed her slightly in the ribs.

"Aaand he and I are dating now," Marinette smiled forcedly, panic shining through her eyes. Maybe her parents would see the panic and come up with an excuse for why Chat couldn't stay for dinner.

Instead, their matching smirks just widened a bit (Marinette knew that they already knew about her and Chat, but they could have had the decency to act at least a little bit surprised).

"Do you want to stay for dinner, dear? Tom and I made more beef bourguignon than we could possibly eat and it would be so nice to get to know the young man our daughter's dating."

"That sounds marvellous, Mme. Dupain-Cheng. It would be my pleasure," the dastardly moggy in question replied.

"Do come on in. Make sure to wipe your shoes on the mat."

Once they'd all settled down to dinner, the torture started.

"Wow, Mme. Dupain-Cheng, this beef bourguignon is purrfect. You must tell me the recipe."

"Was that a corny pun?" Marinette's Pa chimed in excitedly.

"All I was saying was that the meal is amaizeing," Chat returned, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

"I donut believe you."

"I cannot believe you," Marinette cut in, "puns, Papa? Really?"

"He started it…," Tom replied, "I just rose to the occasion."

"He knew the puns were kneaded Marinette!" Chat laughed. Traitor.

"But they're not even good! They're half-baked-" Marinette gasped and covered her mouth. "Now you've got me doing it too!" she complained. All of them were laughing at her now and she just sighed and gave up. She wouldn't be able to stem the tide. The puns were unstoppable. This war could never be won.

"I blame you for this," she mock-hissed at Chat, "it's all your fault."

"But darling, it's not his fault that Tom has been baking sure you were ready for this since you were born," chimed in Sabine.

"Mamaaan, that's not fair. I'm outnumbered now."

"It's ok purrincess, I'll rescue you from the terrible, awful, stale jokes."

"Whose jokes are you calling stale, young man?"

"I need a bake," Marinette whined.

And it all descended into chaos from there, as Marinette's family dinners often did.

By the time everyone was finished and the pun war was over, Marinette was sorry to see Chat leave. She'd known he wouldn't be able to stay long of course - earlier, she'd been over the moon about it – but she'd enjoyed his company and the laughter and smiles it brought with it. If she wasn't mistaken, Chat didn't want to leave either, but he'd said that he had to. Otherwise he would be missed.

It wasn't long before Chat had disappeared from their doorstep, loaded with desserts that her parents had insisted he try. Personally, Marinette felt that three different types of croissants, a cinnamon roll, a cherry tart and a box of macarons was a bit much, but her parents had said that it'd be nice for Chat's parents or siblings to try some as well. Marinette didn't even know whether Chat had siblings or not. For someone she spent so much time with, she knew very little about him.

"So Marinette. How long have you been dating Chat Noir?" her parents asked in tandem, and if that wasn't creepy, Marinette didn't know what was.

"Not long. Just a month or so."

"Surely that can't be right. You look as if you'd been dating for much longer than that."

"No, Maman, really – our first official date was when he came to pick me up for coffee a few weeks ago."

"Maybe they're just meant to be, Sabine. You and I were besotted like that within our first week."

"I just want to make sure that your trust isn't misplaced, Marinette. You seemed very comfortable with him and it hasn't been long since your crush on Adrien, so we're just wondering if you're moving on a bit fast."

"Although this boy is obviously much better for you. You looked so sweet together. As a father, I'm very proud of my little girl. I can't take a shotgun to any boy who looks at you for longer than a second anymore, can I?" Tom sighed.

"And being able to talk and communicate is good in a relationship. You have that with him, where you never had it with Adrien."

Marinette felt her face burning. Of course they'd bring that up. And they thought she was besotted with Chat? That she looked 'very comfortable' with him? They looked 'sweet together'? They hadn't even been friends (as Chat and Marinette) for that long! And the conversation just kept on getting worse.

"Someone like him could be The One someday, Marinette."

"Your father's right sweetie. He fit right in with our family didn't he?" mentioned her mother and if Marinette had been thinking something similar then no one needed to know. She wanted to sink through the floor.

"Make sure that you still get all your homework done, though Marinette. You're behind enough as it is at that moment. You can't let a new relationship get in the way of that," Sabine was saying. It was sound advice, but Marinette was still processing the 'someone like him could be The One someday' comment. It had taken a while to sink in, but now it was all she could hear, resounding in her head. She needed a break. She loved her parents, but they were very clearly wrong about this. She wanted Adrien, not some smug, leather-wearing vigilante (and no it did not matter that she was a spandex-wearing vigilante).

"You're right Maman, Papa. It's been a long day – with the akuma and everything. Could I go to bed now lease? Maybe I won't be late tomorrow if I get enough sleep tonight," Marinette tried.

"And that's another thing, Marinette. Make sure you don't get caught up in all his superhero nonsense. Stay safe."

Marinette almost burst out laughing hysterically at the irony. It was a bit late for that.

A/N:

Tom and Chat getting along like a house on fire while Marinette half-heartedly tries to protest that she hates them both is my aesthetic.