((AN - I am not especially well versed in protocols/procedures pertaining to retirement of military commissions... I realize that the way I wrote it might not be technically accurate. Please allow me a little creative leeway even if that's not how it would play out in the real world.))
Chapter 9 – There and Back Again
The next week passed in a blur. Mac spent much of the time on the phone arranging for her own retirement as well as Harm's while he spent most of his time assisting Martha and the town council. She also organized a storage location for her belongings to be sent to and for her apartment to be packed and vacated. They purchased Sam's house and once he and Nick moved into Grey House, they would move next door. Cassie had insisted that they continue to use the Lakeview suite and they were grateful to have somewhere to stay until they were able to move into their new home.
Harm had successfully presented the case for having not only the old mill and City Hall deemed National Historical sites, but also a handful of other locations he and Mac had identified as meeting the specialized criteria. Martha was elated and insisted on throwing an elaborate celebration of the accomplishment. One benefit was that most everyone in town attended the party which allowed for Cassie and Mac to be in the same place at the same time, so by the end of it just about everyone had the shocked staring out of their system.
Harm had to return to the carrier for twenty-three days to complete his deployment before his terminal leave kicked in. If she were being completely honest with herself, Mac was nervous about him returning and changing his mind; he'd always had equal parts jet fuel and ocean water in his veins and part of her worried that the allure of life on the carrier might draw him back in yet again.
She reminded herself that things were different between them now. The time they had spent together since they had found themselves in Middleton had been so much more open than ever before. They had finally hashed out all the things they had been avoiding for so long. That first night after Sturgis's funeral when they had talked in the sitting room of the suite, it was like something had at last broken through the walls that had been up since they met; nothing was off limits and they had been able to honestly talk about anything.
When they had lived together in San Diego, they'd had a good relationship for a while. Before long, it had been complicated because they had both kept things from each other. He'd refused to talk to her about Mattie or how much he missed the sense of belonging that came from being in the Navy. Whenever she had tried to get him to open up back then he had simply insisted that he was fine and redirected the conversation. She understood now that he had been trying to protect her in a misguided way; he was worried that if he were honest about how he was feeling it would cause her to feel guilty for winning the coin toss. Conversely, she'd never been honest with him that she did in fact feel guilty and felt like he resented her for them being in San Diego.
For her own part, she'd finally admitted to him that she had been terrified that marrying him would ruin what they had, given her track record. She had even done something she had sworn to herself she would never do by bringing up the comment he'd made at the office that day to Sturgis, finally telling him just how deeply hearing the words come from him had cut her. In the moment, she'd regretted her honesty; the look on his face as he'd told her how much hated himself for saying it and how many times he'd wanted to apologize for those careless words had been almost as painful as the original comment.
When he'd broached the subject of Paraguay and Clayton Webb, she thought that it was going to be the end of the new found lines of communication. He told her how frightened he'd felt when he heard that the operation had gone sideways and how desperate he'd been to find her. He even told her how jealous he'd been of Clay when he saw them together and how he had genuinely wanted to leave him to die as a means of payback for Clay involving her in the ill-conceived mission.
All this and so many more mistakes and missteps and admissions had been laid out that night. When they had finally talked everything to death, they had a moment when they simply connected across the small table they'd been sitting at. It had felt to her like the moment when she'd first seen him that afternoon in the Rose Garden, except now with everything laid bare between them, it was like she was not only looking at him, but truly seeing the real him for the first time. It was electric and uncertain and magnetic all at once. One thing was exactly the same as that day so many years ago, she knew without question that she needed him in her life.
When he'd stood and held his hand out to her, she hadn't been sure what to expect. He'd led her to the sofa and sat down, gently pulling her into his lap. There in the firelight, he'd held her against him and told her he wanted to stay there with her forever. It wasn't a line or a move, she knew him well enough even after so long apart that she could recognize when he was being sincere, and moreover vulnerable. He was laying everything on the line, telling her exactly where he stood and what he wanted, putting her in control. When she'd said she wanted the same, he'd kissed her in a way that he hadn't in so very long.
She remembered him kissing her that way after they'd made love for the first time. If she were honest, that kiss had been almost as satisfying as the physical pleasure which had come before it. He'd kissed her that way several times over the years they were together, but they were the exception to the rule. Usually their kisses were pure fire and passion, but those rare kisses had been something entirely different.
The kiss in the firelight that night was slow and deep in a way that had nothing to do with the physical experience. To say it had taken her breath away was an understatement; it had done so much more. It had taken away her fear, her resentment, her distrust, her anger, and all their history. Twenty plus years of hurt and mistakes melted away in a heat that put the crackling fire to shame. As they had held each other, that one kiss had wiped their slate clean; it was a promise to one another that come hell or high water, they would do things right this time. It was the kind of first kiss that sappy movies and trashy novels attempted to but could never capture.
They had held one another and talked until nearly dawn. The conversation had been the opposite of the one they'd had before their turning point kiss. It had been entirely focused on the future and how they wanted to move forward together. When they relocated the conversation to the bedroom, she had expected it to be the end of their words for the night, but he had surprised her by not making a move. Instead he'd held her to him and quietly sang her favorite song, something he'd done many nights when they were together. Listening to his voice, she'd drifted into a more restful sleep she'd had in years.
She had a moment of panic when she awoke a few hours later and he was gone. She thought sure she'd dreamt the entire thing. But then she'd rolled over to reach for her phone and her hand touched something else. She looked to see a lavender rose laying atop her phone on the nightstand with a piece of paper propped between it and the lamp. WENT RUNNING. BACK SOON. LOVE, H. She'd picked up the flower and wondered where he'd pulled it from. She hadn't remembered seeing lavender roses in any of the arrangements in the house.
When she'd finally decided she'd laid in bed long enough and needed caffeine, she'd gone downstairs and was about to walk into the kitchen when she heard his voice. He was talking to Abigail and she'd just asked him about their house in San Diego. She hadn't intended to listen but froze when she heard him say that he'd never sold it. Somehow it was a topic that hadn't come up the night before and she found herself unable to interrupt.
When Abigail asked him about whether he'd been with anyone since her, she had cringed. Partially because she really didn't want to hear the answer, or at least not the number, but mostly because picturing him with anyone else brought back the battery acid in an open wound pain in her chest from the day before. As she'd listened to his answer, she was shocked. She'd always presumed that he would have had other women in his life since they'd split, so hearing that he hadn't caught her off guard. Particularly when he explained why.
When she walked into the kitchen and revealed that she'd been listening, she had expected him to be upset, but he wasn't. He'd held her and answered when she asked him about the house and his car. She still couldn't believe that he'd sold his Corvette for her.
They'd gone back up to the suite and spent the rest of the morning rediscovering one another. The smoldering, slow burn from the night before flared into an inferno, consuming them both in a heat they'd been denying each other of for far too long.
When they finally made it out of the suite several hours later, their conversation had picked up where they had left off before she fell asleep in his arms; how they wanted to spend the life they were going to build together. They had talked more in those first two days than they had in probably all the years they'd known each other. As they toured the town, they discovered and fell in love with the people they had become since they'd parted ways a decade earlier.
It was almost impossible to believe that so much had changed in just a couple of weeks. They had already located a space to use for their law office and had signed the lease, they had made the arrangements for the renovations that the office would require and had been approached by the town council about becoming the permanent legal representation for Middleton when the former attorney announced he was retiring in light of his recent health issues.
Most importantly, she trusted him and what they now had implicitly. She'd have been lying if she'd said she wasn't worried about him getting hurt while away, years of investigations meant she knew all too well how dangerous life aboard a carrier could be, but he had promised her he'd be extra cautious. She half-jokingly made him swear that he wouldn't volunteer for any HALOs that came up in the time he was on board when she dropped him off at Scott Air Force Base.
"See you in twenty-seven days, Sailor," she had whispered to him as she hugged him goodbye in the parking lot just inside the gate. "Be safe."
"I will." He hugged her tightly then leaned his forehead against hers. "There's just one thing I need to do before I leave." He dropped down onto one knee and slipped a ring from his pocket. "I want to do this right this time. Sarah Mackenzie, will you marry me?"
"Harm!" She smiled down at him as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Yes, of course I will." She hadn't been expecting it and her hand was shaking as she held it out to him. He slid the ring on and stood to kiss her. He hugged her, tighter this time, before once again resting his forehead on hers. "I'll see you in twenty-seven days, Marine."
"Harm!" Grace shouted as she jumped from the stool at the kitchen island "Welcome home!" she said as she hugged him tightly.
"Hey Grace." He returned the hug and smiled down at her. "Been keeping out of trouble while I was gone?"
"Of course, someone has to keep things running around here," she joked.
"Atta girl." Harm nodded as he stepped away from her so she could hug Mac. He smiled as he watched them embrace. It was remarkable how quickly Grace had clicked with both of them; she'd been home from her school trip for a week before he shipped out but she had almost instantly taken a shine to both of them, as they had to her.
"This is a surprise," Cassie commented as she came into the kitchen from the back door with Abigail a few steps behind her. "Welcome home Harm."
"Hey Cass. It's good to be back. How's George doing?" He hugged her briefly before stepping back and looking at her with concern on his face. He had been worried about the older man since he'd spoken to Mac just before leaving the carrier and found out that he'd fallen when he caught his foot on the corner of a rug.
"He's okay. Sam has been on him like a hawk since he fell, he assures us that it looked worse than it was."
"Thank goodness, that's great news." Harm sighed, he was relieved and more thankful than ever that Sam was a doctor.
"I thought we weren't getting you home until tomorrow," Abigail said as she took her turn to hug Harm.
"One of my flights made good time so I was able to catch an earlier connection. Managed to shave a whole eighteen hours off my transport time." Harm smiled to himself as he let her go. He liked the way he felt when they'd each welcomed him 'home'. For people he'd only known for two weeks before shipping out, he had already come to think of them as extended family and being back in Middleton and in the warm, inviting kitchen of Grey House felt reassuring and comforting in a way he hadn't expected. Usually when he'd returned from a deployment, regardless of where he'd been living at the time, he just felt like he was back stateside. For the first time, he honestly felt like he had come home.
"Seventeen hours and forty-three minutes," Mac corrected him good-naturedly. Harm just rolled his eyes at her with a smile.
"Nick is going to be super excited that you're back. I think he has about ten thousand questions for you." Grace warned him. "Seriously, he has a list. I've never seen him so organized. It's a little weird, actually."
"Hey, be nice to your brother." Harm shot her a stern look as he said it, but he couldn't keep the grin from touching his lips. He kissed Sarah on the side of the head as she slipped in against his side and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"I have five more days before he's officially my brother and I have to be nice to him. Let me enjoy what time I have left," Grace pouted melodramatically for a moment before she smiled again. "I have homework I have to get to."
"Go, study, become learned." Harm smiled and nodded his head towards the stairs.
"You look tired, Harm." Abigail observed after Grace went upstairs.
"The jet lag that comes with back-to-back transports is one thing that I am definitely not going to miss about military travel. My body is trying to convince me that it's about one in the morning right now." He rolled his shoulders a little. "It'll just take me a couple of days to get my bearings back. I promise I'll be up to par before the wedding, Cass. However, I apologize in advance if you hear me prowling around the house in the middle of the night looking for an afternoon snack the next couple of nights."
Cassie handed him a small bottle with a dropper cap. "I would suggest you go catch a catnap now for about twenty minutes; it'll give you enough of a boost to get through the rest of the afternoon. Tonight, two to three drops of this in some tea before bed will help reset your internal clock."
"Thanks." Harm took the bottle and nodded. "I appreciate it." He squeezed Mac's shoulders. "Grabbing a quick power nap actually sounds pretty good. Want to come tuck me in?" he raised one eyebrow at her and fixed her with that smile that he knew she couldn't resist.
"He's half unconscious and he's still trying to make a move," Mac shook her head and rolled her eyes jokingly. "Come on, Counselor, let's go get you some shut eye before you fall over."
Cassie and Abigail were moving about the kitchen getting things ready to prepare for supper. It wasn't long before Abigail paused for a moment. "And he's out. He must really have been exhausted." A moment later she tilted her head. "Sarah too. I hope he didn't bring African Sleeping Sickness back with him," she joked lightheartedly. The energy in the house was already so different from what it had been the last few weeks. Now that Harm was back, the anxious and unsettled current that had been underscoring Mac's every thought was gone.
"She's not been sleeping well these last few weeks." Cassie mused. "She must have been pretty exhausted too."
"She was scared, not many people can sleep well when they are." Abigail nodded.
"Military service is profoundly noble, but it does carry an inherent danger," Cassie remarked. "I can't imagine how difficult it was for her to know that he was out there." A pang cut through her as she remembered the way she felt when Jake would leave for work; always wondering if it would be the day that something would happen. She'd felt the same way when Sam had gone to Columbia for that humanitarian medical outreach last year. She couldn't fathom how much more intense the sensation must have been for Mac.
"You probably can better than the rest of us. You went through basically the same thing with Jake every day."
"Jake was a police officer in Middleton. The danger level can hardly be compared to deployment to an active aircraft carrier." Cassie shrugged. "As stressful as it was, I was proud of what Jake did. I'm sure it's the same for Sarah."
"And for Harm when she was out on assignments to active areas," Abigail pointed out. "Thankfully that is over. Now we can focus on your wedding. Then Sarah and Harm's."
"It's going to be a busy few weeks for the local flower shop." Cassie teased.
"Then it's a good thing that the owner of said flower shop is completely brilliant and exceptionally capable." They both laughed quietly as they returned to preparing dinner.