All rights to Kiera Cass. This book is designed to make story edits that largely follow the original plot. So even in the edited parts it is often largely Cass's writing.

…. …. ….. …..

Author's note: comments: Thank you guys so much for the comments on the last chapter. I was worried because how heavy it was, but I'm glad to see you guys mostly liked it. It is much lighter for a while, so these next few chapters should be much much easier to read through.

Author's note: this chapter is 2-3 times longer than usual, but at this point I am still trying to maintain the same chapter structure (that will be abandoned in book three however). This wasn't long enough to break into A and B chapters, so enjoy extra today!

…. …. …. …..

(Edit)

CHAPTER 15

I waited up in my room, too antsy to sleep anyway, but I knew Aspen would come.

About an hour after the report he slipped into my room, "Mer." He said in a hushed voice moving towards me, "It wasn't your fault." The tears I had been holding back all night came. He held me as I cried, "It was never your fault Mer. You didn't kill him, you froze. No one should be held accountable for that. It wasn't your fault."

"It was Aspen, at least partly. And you don't have to agree with me, but it's true."

"You know I don't blame you. I never did for a second. And now I'm a guard, and I know not all guards are bad. It was just a bad guard. And it was awful, so awful, but it wasn't your fault."

We stayed there, him holding me, until my tears stilled and my breath stabilized. It was there in the silence when I remembered the King's behavior. He seemed to tolerate me as an advisor, but deemed it impossible for me to be a princess.

(cass)

"Aspen, can I ask you something?" He nodded. "This is kind of strange, but if being the princess didn't mean I had to marry someone, if it was just a job someone could pick me for, do you think I could do it?"

Aspen's green eyes grew wide for a second, taking in the enormity of that question. To his credit, I could see him considering the possibility.

"Sorry, Mer. I don't. You don't have it in you to be as calculating as they are." There was an apology in his expression, but I wasn't offended that he thought I couldn't do it. I was a bit surprised at his reasoning though.

"Calculating? How so?"

He sighed. "I'm everywhere, Mer. I hear things. There's a lot of turmoil down South, in the areas with a heavy concentration of lower castes. From what the older guards say, those people never particularly agreed with Gregory Illéa's methods, and there's been unrest down there for a long time.

"Rumor has it, that was part of why the queen was so attractive to the king. She came from the South, and it appeased them for a while. Not so much anymore it seems."

(edit)

I thought about the massacre in the South I had just helped stop. "That doesn't explain what you meant by calculating."

(cass)

He hesitated. "I was in one of the offices the other day, before all the Halloween stuff. They were mentioning rebel sympathizers in the South. I was told to see these letters to the postal wing safely. It was over three hundred letters, America. Three hundred families who were getting knocked down a caste for not reporting things or for helping someone the palace saw as a threat."

I sucked in a breath.

"I know. Can you imagine? What if it was you, and all you knew how to do was play the piano? Suddenly you're supposed to know how to do clerical work, how to find those jobs even? It's a pretty clear message."

I nodded. "Do you … Does Maxon know?"

"I think he has to. He's not that far off from running the country himself."

(edit)

In my heart, I didn't want to believe that he'd agreed with this, but it seemed likely he was aware of what was going on. He was expected to fall in line. But more than that, was that part of the job I was just given? Could I do that? Would my decomposition of evidence lead to the unjust treatment of citizens? I figured my best chance to stop it was where I was now, but after Marlee and tonight, would they even tell me this kind of stuff.

(Cass)

"Don't tell anyone, okay? A slip like that could cost me my job," Aspen warned.

"Of course. It's already forgotten."

Aspen smiled at me. "I miss being with you, away from all this. I miss our old problems."

I laughed. "I know what you mean. Sneaking out of my window was so much better than sneaking around a palace."

"And scrounging to find a penny for you was better than having nothing to give you at all." He tapped on the glass jar by my bed, the one that used to hold hundreds of pennies that he'd given me for singing to him in the tree house back home, payment that he thought I deserved. "I had no idea you'd saved them all until the day before you left."

"Of course I did! When you were away, they were all I had to hold on to. Sometimes I used to pour them over my hand on the bed, just to scoop them up again. It was nice to have something you touched." Our eyes met, and everything else felt distant for the moment. It was comforting finding myself in that bubble again, the place that Aspen and I had created for ourselves years ago. "What did you do with all of them?"

I had been so mad at him when I left, I'd given them back. All except for the one that stuck to the bottom of the jar.

He smiled. "They're at home, waiting."

"For what?"

His eyes glittered. "That, I cannot say."

I sighed through my smile. "Fine, keep your secrets. And don't worry about not giving me anything. I'm just happy you're here, that you and I can at least fix things, even if it's not what it used to be."

But clearly, for Aspen, that wasn't enough. He reached down to the bottom of his sleeve and tore off one of his golden buttons. "I literally have nothing else to give you, but you can hold on to this—something I've touched—and think of me anytime. And you can know that I'm thinking of you, too."

It was unavoidable: the natural instinct to compare Aspen to Maxon. It creeped up on me and I tried to push it down, knowing it will come back soon enough.

I sniffed back the lingering urge to cry. "I don't know how to do this right now. I feel like I don't know how to do anything. I … I haven't forgotten you, okay? It's still here."

I put my hand to my chest, partly to show Aspen what I meant and partly to soothe the strange longing there. He understood.

"That's enough for me."

(Edit)

My maids didn't ask about the puffy eyes or the tear-stained pillows. They didn't need to. They only made one comment and that was when Mary said, "We think what you said was very brave." I merely smiled and nodded, then they helped me pull myself together. I allowed myself to be pampered, grateful for the attention. They were wonderful to me. Would they be this nice to Kriss if she managed to win and took them away?

(Cass)

I watched them as I debated, and I was surprised to notice a tension among them. Mary seemed mostly fine, maybe a little worried. But Anne and Lucy looked like they were deliberately avoiding eye contact with each other and not speaking unless they absolutely had to.

I couldn't begin to guess at what was happening, and I didn't know if it was my place to ask. They never intruded on my sadness or anger. I supposed it was only right that I do the same for them.

I tried not to let the silence bother me as they did my hair and dressed me for a long day in the Women's Room. I ached to put on one of the luxurious pants that Maxon had given me for Saturday use, but this seemed like a bad time for that. If I was heading down, I wanted to be a lady about it. Points to me for effort.

(edit)

As I settled in for another day of tea and books, the others chatted about the night before. Well, all of them except for Celeste, who had more gossip magazines waiting to be read. I was sure after last night the one in her hand said something about me.

I was debating trying to take it when a maid delivered a note.

"America please talk to me.

Maxon"

I was still not ready to deal with that so I scribbled back on it, "Another time maybe."

It soon returned with, "It may be a matter of national security."

I was almost sure it wasn't, but that wasn't a risk I was willing to take. I huffed myself out of the chair, moved out the door, looked Maxon dead in the eye and said, "What's this matter on national security."

He seemed to squirm a little under my perfectly practiced glare, "The Prince is distracted because he not only added to his best friends trama by making her watch her friends canning, or owes her a world of apologizing for not understanding her reactions to certain of his actions, but is worried for her because she just relived horrible experiences by accounting them on national TV."

I looked away from him. It wasn't my job to make him feel less guilty when I was the one that was hurting. That being said, I care for him deeply, and I couldn't stand to look at the anguish in his eyes.

"I don't deserve an ounce of your forgiveness. But even if I can't have even a drop, I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn it." I dared to look back into his eyes. I thought about Marlee and the calculated decisions they make, but also how much he cares. I know he has to really care. "Please trust me on Marlee." He looked right into my eyes, "Please don't hate me."

"Oh My Maxon, I feel many things right now, but none of them is a hate for you." He looked relieved, "I haven't forgiven you, but I also haven't not forgiven you." I had to think there was more to the story with Marlee. Maxon was many things, but heartless was not one of them. Could I trust him? How could I? When what I saw with my own eyes was so atrocious.

"Come with me." He said waving me with him.

"Where are we going?" I asked, really not wanting to try and be friends right now.

"There is something you need to see." He replied simply, then began walking away. I didn't follow him at first. "Are you coming?" he called back. I can always leave if I don't want to be there, I figured, following Maxon.

We went down a hallway I had never been in before to a dimly lit staircase that led to what was best described as a dungeon apartment building.

"This is where we keep the low security prisoners and out of town staff." My eyes widened a bit, the informants family must be down here. "We must be quiet now, we aren't really supposed to be down here."

Maxon and I tucked behind a pillar that put us in the shadows. I saw Ensign Marko walk in with a girl who looked about my age and two much younger who looked about Gered's. A moment later a guard walked in with a tall, slender, dark haired man who must be the informant. As soon as the girls saw him they ran as fast as they could into his arms almost knocking him over. The sounds of laughter and joy echoed through the hallways, bouncing off every inch, and making the hallway lighten. I couldn't make out what they were saying but I could see the informant picking the smallest girl up and twirling her in circles.

After they moved on I turned to Maxon and whispered, "Will they be safe? With the rebels on after him."

He nodded, "They'll have to be relocated up north and change their identities, but they'll be fine. He's also been fully pardoned due to his help with preventing the massacre." Maxon shook his head a bit, "At first my father still wanted to prosecute him, but everyone else thought that was ridiculous and heartless, so thankfully he eventually caved."

I honestly hadn't even considered the possibility that he wouldn't be pardoned. He, not only was kidnaped and threatened into working for the rebels in the first place, but then out of loyalty to the country he spied on the rebels, risking his life. I suddenly wondered how much of the letters were solely the kings doing.

Maxon began to speak again, drawing my focus, "But I wanted you to see this. I wanted you to be able to see the joy of a family reunited. Your work in the last few weeks saved hundreds of families, I thought you should at least be able to see one."

I looked up at him and whispered, "Thank you." It wasn't until I saw it that I realized how much I needed it. I needed a win, for something to feel completely right. That was why I wanted to help, to keep the rebels from destroying lives, and now I can see that I did that. There is no longer any doubt in my mind that I should be an advisor, I would do far more good than harm.

"My father has decided that you will begin to receive the debriefings in a week's time." Maxon informed me. "Then you can create more moments like those."

"Why not now." I asked.

"Oh right, I should probably be returning you to the women's room."

I wasn't exactly sure what Maxon had meant until about ten minutes later when Silvia came into the women's room with a thick pile of paper in her arms.

(Cass)

"Good afternoon, ladies!" Silvia crooned. "I know you usually wait for guests on Saturdays, but today the queen and I have a special assignment for you."

"Yes," the queen said, walking over to us. "I know this is short notice, but we have visitors coming next week. They will be touring the country and stopping by the palace to meet all of you."

"As you know, the queen is usually in charge of receiving such important guests. You all saw how she graciously hosted our friends from Swendway." Silvia gestured over to Queen Amberly, who smiled demurely.

"However, the visitors we have coming from the German Federation and Italy are even more important than the Swendish royal family. And we thought this visit would be an excellent exercise for you all, especially since we've been so focused on diplomacy lately. You will work in teams to prepare a reception for your respective guests, including a meal, entertainment, and gifts," Silvia explained.

I gulped as she continued.

"It is very important for us to maintain the relationships we have as well as to forge new ones with other countries. We have outlines of proper etiquette for interacting with these guests, as well as guides for what's typically frowned on when hosting events for them. However, the actual execution is in your hands."

"We wanted to make it as fair as possible," the queen said. "I think we've done a good job of putting you all on the same field. Celeste, Natalie, and Elise, you will be organizing one reception. Kriss and America, you will take care of the other. And since you have one less person, you will have one more day. Our visitors from the German Federation will be coming on Wednesday, and we'll be receiving guests from Italy on Thursday."

There was a short moment of silence as we took that in.

"You mean we have four days?" Celeste screeched.

"Yes," Silvia said. "But a queen has to do this work alone and sometimes on far less notice."

The panic was palpable.

"Can we have our papers, please?" Kriss asked, holding out her hand. Instinctively, I put mine out as well. Within seconds we were devouring the pages.

"This is going to be tough," Kriss said. "Even with the extra day."

"Don't worry," I assured her. "We're going to win."

She laughed nervously. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because," I said decisively, "there's no way I'm letting Celeste do better than me."

(edit)

It took two hours to read through the packet and one more to digest everything it said. There were so many different things to consider, so many details to plan. I could identify the enemy's cause, goal, and threat of action from a half a page document, but I could not for the life of me sort out the intricacies of counties cultures. Silvia claimed she would be at our disposal, but I had a feeling asking for help would make her think we couldn't do a good enough job on our own, so that was out.

(cass)

The setup was going to be challenging. We weren't allowed to use red flowers because they were associated with secrecy. We weren't allowed to use yellow flowers because they were associated with jealousy. And we weren't allowed to use purple anything because that color was associated with bad luck.

The wine, food, everything had to be opulent. Luxury wasn't seen as showing off; it was meant to make a statement about the palace. If it wasn't good enough, our guests might leave unimpressed and completely unwilling to meet with us again. On top of all that, the regular things we were supposed to have learned—speaking clearly, proper table manners, and the like—had to be adapted to a culture of which neither Kriss nor I had any knowledge besides what was printed in our packets.

It was incredibly intimidating.

Kriss and I spent the day taking notes and brainstorming while the others did the same thing at a nearby table. As the afternoon wore on, our groups started complaining back and forth about who had the worse situation, and after a while it was actually kind of funny.

"You two at least get another day to work," Elise said.

"But Illéa and the German Federation are already allies. The Italians might hate everything we do!" Kriss worried.

"Do you know we're supposed to wear dark colors for ours?" Celeste complained. "It's going to be a very … rigid event."

"We probably don't want it to be floppy anyway," Natalie said, doing a little shimmy. She laughed at her own joke, and I smiled before moving on.

"Well, ours is supposed to be superfestive. And you all have to wear your best jewelry," I instructed. "You need to make a great first impression, and appearances are very important."

"Thank goodness I'll get to look good at one of these stupid things." Celeste sighed, shaking her head.

In the end, it was clear we were all struggling. After everything that had happened with Marlee and then being somewhat dismissed by the king, I felt strangely comforted to know we were miserable together. But it would be a lie to say that paranoia didn't take over before the end of the day. I was convinced that one of the other girls—Celeste in particular—might try to sabotage our reception.

"How loyal are your maids?" I asked Kriss at dinner.

"Very. Why?"

"I wonder whether we should store some things in our rooms instead of in the parlor. You know, so the other girls don't try to take our ideas." It was only a tiny lie.

She nodded. "That's a good idea. Especially since we go second, and it would look like we copied them."

"Exactly."

"You're so smart, America. It's no wonder Maxon liked you so much." And she went back to eating.

(edit)

I didn't miss her casual use of the past tense. I couldn't help but wonder what made her think Maxon liked me so much before, and that he had suddenly stopped now.

I figured she was just trying to make herself feel more confident about her standing with Maxon. Besides, it wasn't like I ever had confirmation that Maxon liked me in the first place, and I had just talked to him a couple hours ago.

(Cass)

The piercing scream of a siren jerked me from my sleep. The sound was so foreign, I couldn't even begin to process what it was. All I knew was that my heart was pounding in my chest from the sudden rush of adrenaline.

Before a second had passed, the door to my room flew open and a guard ran in.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it," he repeated.

"Huh?" I said groggily as he raced over to me.

"Get up, Mer!" he urged, and I did as he said. "Where are your damn shoes?"

Shoes. So I was going somewhere. Only then did the sound make sense to me. Maxon had told me once before that there was an alarm for when the rebels came, but it had been thoroughly dismantled in a recent attack. It finally must have been repaired.

"Here," I said, finding and slipping my feet into them. "I need my robe." I pointed to the end of the bed, and Aspen grabbed it, trying to open it for me. "Don't bother, I'll carry it."

"You need to hurry," he said. "I don't know how close they are."

I nodded, heading for the door, Aspen's hand on my back. Before I hit the hallway, he jerked me toward him. I found myself in a deep, rough kiss. Aspen's hand was behind my head, holding my lips to his for one long moment. Then, as if he forgot the danger, his other hand pulled my waist to his, and the kiss deepened. It had been a long time since he'd kissed me this way—between my fickle heart and the fear of being caught, there was no reason to. But I could feel an urgency tonight. Something might go wrong, and this could be our last kiss.

He wanted to make it count.

We stepped apart, barely taking a second to look at each other one more time. He put his hand around my arm and pushed me out the door. "Go. Now."

I dashed for the secret passage hidden at the end of the hall. Before I pushed the wall, I looked behind me and caught sight of Aspen's back as he ran around the corner.

There was nothing I could do but run myself, so I did. As quickly as I could manage, I made my way down the steep, dark stairs to the safe room reserved for the royal family.

(edit)

There are two kinds of rebels: Northern and Southern. The Northern ones were pesky, but the Southern ones were deadly. I hoped whatever I was running from was more interested in disturbing us than in killing.

As I descended the stairs, the cold set in. I wanted to throw on my robe, but I worried I might trip. I felt steadier as the light of the safe room came into view. I leaped from the last step, and I could see a figure standing out among the shapes of the guards. Maxon. Though it was late, he was still in his suit pants and his shirt, slightly rumpled but presentable.

"Am I the last?" I asked, pulling on my robe as I approached.

"No," he answered. "Kriss is still out there. So is Elise."

I looked behind me at the darkened corridor that seemed to go on forever. In either direction, I could make out the skeletons of three or four stairways stemming from their secret origins in the palace above. They were empty.

From what Maxon had told me, though we hadn't spoken about The Elites standing in a few weeks, his feelings for Kriss and Elise were limited. But there was no mistaking the concern for them in his eyes. He rubbed his temple and craned his neck, as if that would really help in the dark. We looked past each other, watching the stairs as guards milled around the door, clearly anxious to close it.

Suddenly he sighed and put his hands on his hips. Then, with no warning at all, he embraced me. I couldn't help but clutch him to my chest.

"I know you're still upset, and that's fine. But I'm happy you're safe."

I held him tightly back. It was moments like these where I'm reminded that I still think of him as my best friend. Even with everything that had happened, that had not changed.

"I'm glad you're safe, too."

He held me tighter. Suddenly he gasped. "Elise."

I turned to see her thin figure coming down the stairs. Where was Kriss?

I saw Elise was crying. I put an arm around her shoulder, and she did the same to me, happy to have the company.

"Where were you?" I asked.

"I think my maid is sick. She was a little slow to help me. And then I was so frightened by the alarm, I got confused for a moment and couldn't remember where to go. I pushed on four different walls before I found the right one." Elise shook her head at her forgetfulness.

"Don't worry," I said, hugging her. "You're safe now."

She nodded her head to herself, trying to slow her breathing. Of the five of us, she was easily the most delicate.

"You should go inside," Maxon gently urged. "Silvia is waiting."

Elise went in, but I shook my head. "Kriss isn't here."

After another minute I couldn't wait any longer. She could be hurt. Despite us supposably being competitors I cared about her, all of them. I started to run up the stairs but Maxon quickly caught up to me.

"What are you doing!" The shock and fear in his voice evident.

"Going for Kriss." I stated, starting to move up again, but Maxon cut me off.

"America-"

"I know how to fight Maxon."

"Hand to hand sure, but what are you going to do when there's a gun pointed at your head." He had a point. Offering his arm up he guided me back down the stairs before turning back up them himself.

"What are you doing." I insisted.

"Going for Kriss." Ah how the tables have turned.

"Well what are you going to do when there's a gun pointed at your head!"

"I can't let any of you get hurt." He shook his head before calling out. "Guard, do not let Lady America leave the safe room until instructed." While that would have been enough for most girls he knew I could easily get past the guard if that's what I wished so he added, "Please America for my sanity, promise me you'll stay inside."

I thought for a moment, "I'll wait for you two here, but I promise I won't go up."

Knowing he needed to go he agreed, "Fine, but at the first sign of trouble get in there."

The hallway was cold and dark, but I waited, curled up on the ground. I was only comforted by the sounds of pitter patter that I guessed were rats and one stern face guard. I fought against sleep until finally I heard footsteps approaching. I moved into a squat position, ready to fight if it came to it, but I saw Maxon holding Kriss.

I met them at the staircase, "Kriss" I gasped. Immediately reaching for her hand to comfort her. Much to my surprise the image of Maxon holding her made my insides burn, but I ignored the feeling. We rushed inside and immediately after, the door was sealed shut.

"I tripped," she explained to Silvia, who was fretting over her. "I don't think I broke my ankle, but it really hurts."

"There are bandages in the back. We can at least wrap it," Maxon instructed. Silvia walked away quickly, passed the cots lined in the back, as she went hunting for bandages.

"Sleep! Now!" she ordered. Natalie and Elise took it in stride, but Celeste seemed very irritated.

I sat with Maxon and Kriss while her ankle was wrapped. Looking around the room, I saw the king and queen sitting close together, both of them in robes and slippers. The king had a small stack of papers on his lap, as if he was going to use the time down here to work. The queen had a maid massaging one of her hands, and they both wore serious expressions. After the wrapping was finished Maxon laid Kriss on a cot, and Silvia's attention turned to me. The only girl left awake.

"What, no company this time?" Silvia joked.

"They weren't with me," I said, suddenly worried about the safety of my maids.

She smiled gently. "I'm sure they're fine. This way."

I followed her to a row of cots set up against an uneven wall. The last time I was in this place, it was clear that the people who maintained the room weren't prepared for the chaos of all the Selected girls down here. They'd made progress since then, but it wasn't completely up-to-date. There were six beds.

Celeste was curled up on the one closest to the king and queen, though we were still quite a ways from them, Natalie had settled in next to her, Elise on the one closest to the door, and Kriss next to her. They were all sound asleep.

"I expect you to sleep. You have a serious week ahead of you, and I can't have you planning if you're deliriously tired."

I sat on my cot but sleep escaped me. I tried not to think about Aspen fighting upstairs, or my maids maybe not making it to their hiding place fast enough. I tried not to worry about the upcoming week, or the possibility of the rebels being Southern and trying to slaughter people above us as we rested. If only I could see the entail from the last week. Then I could at least find warning signs of what we missed. It would be so much better than just worrying.

I looked over and saw the King and Maxon still awake, though the queen was asleep nearby. Well, he can't hate me anymore than he does now... can he?

"Your Highness. Your Majesty." I curtsied addressing both of them in the softest voice I could manage.

The king looked me once over before dismissing, "You should be asleep."

"I couldn't sleep." I confessed, "I was wondering if you had the last week's intelligence reports. If I do something useful, maybe I'll be able to sleep."

"Why go over old entail if there has already been an attack?" Maxon asked.

"So we know what to look for next time." I explained, but the king was already handing me a file and pen. I curtsied and took the file back to my cot.

We needed better intelligence. It's no wonder no one saw the attack coming, the evidence of it was almost non existent. Not even I would have noticed it. I finished marking up the document and returned it to the king.

"North or South." Maxon whispered in my ear.

"South, they've been busy." I saw his eyes drop. There were certainly people dying above us. "Though watch the North." I added, "There's nothing concrete, but I have a feeling they're up to something."

Exhausted, worried, and unable to do anything else I curled up on my cot and fell fast asleep.

(cass)

I didn't know what time it was when I woke up, but it must have been hours since we'd come to the safe room. I rolled over, looking at Elise. She was sleeping peacefully. The king was reading his papers, whipping them through his hands so quickly, he appeared to be mad at them. The queen's head rested on the back of her chair. She looked even more beautiful when she slept.

Natalie was still asleep, or at least she looked that way. But Celeste was awake, propped up on one arm and looking across the room. Her eyes held a fire that she usually reserved for me. I followed her gaze over to the opposite wall, where she was watching Kriss and Maxon.

They sat side by side, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. Kriss had her legs curled to her chest, looking as if she was trying to keep warm, even though she was wearing a robe. Her left ankle was wrapped in gauze and didn't appear to be bothering her at the moment. They spoke quietly with smiles on their faces.

(edit)

I didn't want to watch, but I couldn't help it. I felt the burning feeling a just stared at them.

I must have eventually fallen asleep again because Silvia tapped me on my shoulder to wake me. I looked around, Maxon was already gone. So was Kriss.

... ... ... ...

What ever is that burning feeling *gasp* :)

Thanks for reading. As always please comment! I love to hear your thoughts!