Riza closed her journal and sighed. Today had been a flurry of emotions. For a few hours, time stopped and her responsibilities had vanished and for the briefest respite, she had allowed herself to be just Riza spending the day with just Roy.
She had always liked Mister Mustang. Her crush on him has ebbed and flowed throughout the years, but it was always there in some capacity. Now that she was no longer a child, no longer a teenage girl, she was beginning to suspect that he felt the same way.
And yet, in the carriage he had done what she would not and had reminded her of the boundaries and responsibilities surrounding the pair.
She tucked her journal into its designated hiding space at the bottom of her desk and stood up to get ready for bed. She was already in sleepwear, her dressing gown loosely tied around her waist. She turned off the single electric light in her room, allowing the space to be illuminated solely by the fire, and headed over to her bed. She pulled at the goose down comforter and was about to climb into its warm embrace when she heard a rapping that nearly shot her out of her skin.
Her body jerked in the direction of the sound as she blinked furiously, hoping it was just a fabric of her imagination.
Tap tap tap.
No, she clearly wasn't imagining anything.
The sound was clearly coming from the far window of her room. Riza took a deep breath in a meager attempt to still her nerves, before heading over to the source of the noise to investigate.
Tap tap tap.
Grabbing a poker from beside the fireplace for protection, Riza slowly made her way over to the source of the sound. She approached cautiously, taking a deep breath before she held out the candle in her right hand to provide more light. The candle gave off enough of a glow that Riza could make out a pair of dark eyes looking back at her. She was paralyzed into silence, unable to scream or call for help. Her mind began to race as she tried to will her frozen limbs to move.
It then occurred to her that she knew those eyes.
Trembling, she opened up the window, allowing her late night intruder to crawl through. The fire poker in her left hand fell to the carpet, abandoned once she had full confirmation she was no longer in danger.
"What the hell are you doing? You could have given me a heart attack! I could have screamed! I could have attacked you!"
"Yeah…" Roy Mustang agreed sheepishly as he ran his hands through his unruly hair.
Riza closed the window behind him, her eyes still wide with surprise. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Um-"
"Seriously what the hell are you doing in here? If you were locked out, Morgan would have let you in through the kitchen! You know his quarters are directly adjacent!" Riza spat before Roy could answer.
"I didn't lock myself out. I was hoping to talk."
This caught Riza by surprise. "Talk?" She said the word as though it was foreign on her tongue.
"We left off on a weird foot and you skipped dinner so I thought..." Roy's voice trailed off as he directed his gaze to the floor. "Now that I'm saying it aloud, this seems crazy."
"It is crazy," Riza answered, her voice sharp. "Do you have any idea what my father would do to you if he discovered you were in my room? Let alone at this hour?"
"Please," Roy snorted, disarming the cold exterior Riza presented. "When was the last time your dad called upon your room? Let alone this late at night?"
He had a point, but instead of admitting so, Riza simply glared at him.
"I genuinely just want to talk," Roy moved away from the window and into the center of Riza's bedroom. "With your father breathing down my neck all day, everyday, talking to you late at night was the only way I could ensure privacy."
"So you climbed through my window? You understand how this would look to, well, to anybody else!"
"Yes, I realize that now," Mustang said quietly. "Would you prefer I leave?" He started to move back toward the window in earnest and nearly fell over when Riza grabbed his wrist and pulled him back towards her.
"No," she said quickly as she let go of his hand. She paused as he regained his balance. "You clearly had something important to say if it was worth the trouble to climb up the side of my house."
Roy sighed and walked over to the bench at the foot of Riza's bed. He put his head in his hands. "I wanted to apologize properly for today. I should have never invited you. It gave off the wrong impression and it was incredibly irresponsible of me."
"What?" Riza frowned. She sat next to Roy on the bench. "You don't have to apologize. I had a wonderful time."
"No, I do," Roy nodded, as if to convince himself that he was saying the correct words. "There is no real reason that a man like myself should have escorted you, a woman who is spoken for, to such an intimate gathering. If word got back to your father…"
"You crawled up two stories for this? An apology for an outing I thoroughly enjoyed? All because you are worried someone will tell my father? None of the servants like my father enough to snitch on me and I'm certainly not going to say anything."
"I also wanted to ask why you skipped dinner."
"I wasn't hungry. Gracia made a ton of food."
"That was hours earlier."
Riza bit her lip. She could feel his gaze on her face and turned to look away.
Roy seemed to understand her unspoken words and cleared his throat. "Miss Hawkeye," he started, making the shift back to formalities evident. "I decided to come talk to you because I don't want you to think you did anything wrong. Moving forward, I will conduct myself with the utmost professionalism. Our friendship is highly inappropriate and the last thing you need is it ruining your impending marriage."
"Inappropriate? We play chess and talk." Riza's dark eyes bore into his soul. "How is that inappropriate?"
"We don't just play chess. An unmarried man and an unmarried woman have no business spending time together drinking wine, riding into town-"
"Chatting in my room at almost midnight?!" Riza interrupted Roy. She stood up and began to pace back and forth in front of him. "You act like you've taken me on the side of the road for everyone to see, yet you're the one who snuck in here! If anything is inappropriate, it's you being in my room right now. Purpose be damned!"
"It's selfish of me, but I didn't want to start ignoring you without explaining why."
"Then don't ignore me!" Riza threw her hands up in the air. "Why is that not an option?"
"Because you're about to be married-"
"Married women are allowed to have friends, Mister Mustang." Riza's voice was cold, but her eyes gave away the fire that burned bright within her.
"I'm trying to respect you!" Roy's voice was growing heated with frustration. "Why is that so hard for you to accept?"
"Why can't you do both?"
"Because, Lady Hawkeye, today it became increasingly clear how difficult it is to be around you and not do anything rash!" Roy stood up and grabbed Riza's shoulder to stop her from pacing. She glared at him, but did not speak. "I'm afraid that if we remain friends or acquaintances of any kind, I will do something we will both deeply regret."
The mood in the room thickened with Roy's confession. His grip on Riza's shoulder tightened as she bore into his gaze with her unwavering stare, daring him to elaborate.
"I'm not you, Mister Mustang, I can control myself around the opposite sex," she said cooly. "And if you take me for someone who would give in to your carnal demands, you don't know me well enough. We are friends. I enjoy your company. But if that is too much for you to handle, then I will oblige."
She was angry. Roy could see the rage in her eyes. He wanted to kiss her, bite her neck, test how far she would let her rage grow. Blood rushed to his groin as he thought about grabbing her, throwing her down on the bed and proving to her that she would cave to his demands and that she would enjoy it. He wanted to make her scream, make her moan his name as she desperately clawed his back as he pushed her closer and closer to the edge.
Instead, Roy let go of her and took a sobering breath.
"You don't have to like it, Lady Hawkeye. I hope you can understand that my decision to end our friendship comes from a place of respect. I have no ill will against you."
"Bullshit."
Roy's eyebrows raised at her response.
"That's pure and utter bullshit. If I recall correctly, Mister Mustang, you're the one who invited me to play chess with you. You're the one who suggested I come with you to visit Mr. Hughes. Why are you suddenly getting on your high horse about us being friends when you've initiated everything since your return to the manor!"
"I didn't think it would be so difficult to be friends!" Roy's voice wavered as he attempted to keep his temper in check.
"We've been friends for years, Mister Mustang. At least, I thought we were," Riza's tone was filled with venom.
"That was different. You were a child, Riza. A young woman in boarding school."
"I am still the same person, Mister Mustang. I am still Riza."
"Ugh," Roy sighed. There was no use arguing with her. He had intended to explain where he was coming from. He had wanted her to know that he was doing right by society, not by his own desires; however, he knew that there would be no rationalizing with Riza as long as she was angry. The worst part was he could not blame her for her reaction. He had been the one who had led their friendship along, knowing that she was lonely, sad and about to be trapped in a marriage she wanted no part of. "I've said my part. Good night, Lady Hawkeye."
Roy turned around, leaving Riza standing beside her bed. She was visibly fuming, her body trembling and her knuckles turning white as she clenched her fists. Without looking back, he began to head towards the window to make his escape.
"Bastard."
Her word stopped him mid-step and he turned to look at her, his eyes dark with rage. "Excuse me?"
"What would my father say if I told him you took it upon yourself to climb through my window late in the night?"
"You wouldn't." Roy's eyes narrowed dangerously and he began to walk back towards Riza.
"I protect my friends, Mister Mustang. It was your choice to no longer be included in that category."
"I made my decision, Miss Hawkeye, and you will respect it."
"Make me."
The words were barely out of Riza's mouth before Roy lunged at her. Pressing his lips on his own, he threw her down onto the bed, kissing her hungrily, as though she would disappear if he dared stop. With one hand, he pinned her arms above her head. The other roamed up and down her waist, feeling the curves of her body.
Riza let out a small whimper as Roy abandoned her lips and moved to kiss her neck, biting down on her exposed skin. He moved to be more on the bed, putting a knee between Riza's legs, forcing them open and letting go of her hands. Riza began to run her fingers through Roy's hair before tugging his mouth back to her own. She bit his bottom lip and he let out a long, low moan.
Roy cupped one of Riza's breasts and she visibly shuddered under him. He pulled the shoulder of her nightgown down, exposing her delicate collarbone. He moved to focus his attention from her mouth to her collarbone and began sucking her exposed flesh as his hands continued to play with her chest.
"Oh god," Riza moaned, her hands still tangled in his hair. Her whole body was burning from his touch. She wanted more, no she needed more of him. She wrapped her arms around his back, pressing him into her as he kissed her skin. His weight was warm and welcomed and she continued to embrace him, frantic to close any distance that remained between them. He tore at her nightgown, eager to expose more of her skin.
She had never felt so vulnerable, so sensitive, so alive.
They kissed again, desperately, gasping for air.
As an impressionable teenager, Riza had often daydreamed about what it would be like to kiss Roy Mustang. She had imagined him sweeping her off her feet and kissing her softly with passion as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear. This, this was nothing like she expected, yet it was everything she had ever wanted and more. Her heart pounded as his tongue explored her mouth, his hands still roaming her body. She kissed him back as he pressed hard and firm against her thigh. Her back arched and her thighs met his arousal, signaling that she was willing to do anything so long as he continued to take her breath away.
"Oh," she moaned as he bit her exposed breast, sucking on her nipple. "Oh, Roy. Yes!"
At the sound of his name, Roy froze. He had only heard his name on her lips a handful of times, but the sound of it, filled with lust and desire, was enough to make his blood run cold. It was beautiful and internally he wished he could wake up every day to the sound of her calling his name. But the rarity of such a word escaping her mouth brought his attention back to why they used formalities and why they kept up those walls. Just like inside the carriage, Roy was forced to process who he was, who she was and their circumstances outside of her room. Once again, he was forced to face reality for the pair, if Riza was unwilling to do so herself.
He jumped off of her suddenly as though burned. Riza sat up, face flushed with lust and eyes confused. Her nightgown hung half-heartedly off her body, exposing her shoulders and most of her breasts. She was panting, lips swollen kissing, and Roy cursed himself at how delicious she looked.
"I'm sorry," Roy said, his voice distant as he began to back away. "I'm sorry. But this is why we can't be friends. This right here. You deserve more than to be taken advantage of by your father's apprentice."
Before Riza could say anything, Roy opened the bedroom window he had originally crawled through and left without so much as a word or second glance. The clasp of the window signaled to Riza that she was once again alone.