Author's Note
Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!
That said, I recently got a message that there are too many mistakes in my chapters for them to even be readable. While I'm sure I do make mistakes, seeing as I only give it a quick proofread because my several real jobs prevent me from having time to do more unless I wait longer between updates, it's really not necessary to send me a message complaining without pointing out an error for me to fix.
Also, I don't have a beta. If anyone is ever interested in the job, please let me know. I'm sure another pair of eyes would help catch more of the little mistakes that happen from trying to type too quickly.
PS I'm not JK Rowling, so I don't own anything :(
Chapter 8: Long Awaited Meetings and Surrenders
September-October 1995
Grimmauld Place
"Wotcher! You the newest member?" Tonks greeted, stumbling into the kitchen.
Hermione turned, gasping as she took in the young witch with bubblegum pink chin-length hair. The sight of her splintered Hermione's composure. Her face, a two-way mirror that had shattered when Tonks came tripping into view, and she was certain everyone could see her every thought exposed for all who wished to know the inner workings of her mind.
The newcomer was grinning excitedly, and bumped her hip roughly into the table as she made her way around it to offer Hermione her hand. Hermione stared blankly at the long, slender fingers, trying to remember. Freckles dotted her nose, and Hermione realized she had the same forehead as Teddy.
Memories of the boy assaulted Hermione. He possessed none of his mum's outgoing friendliness, oftentimes displaying a shy, reserved air around strangers instead. He opened up quickly enough once he got to know a person, but he wasn't as readily trusting and optimistic as the witch before her was demonstrating.
Uncertainty crossed Tonks's face, and Hermione realized she was still waiting for Hermione to shake her proffered hand. Cautiously, Hermione did, swallowing thickly. Tonks was so unbelievably young. Practically still a child. Certainly not old enough to be a soldier in this war. To risk her life or pay the ultimate price as she had. Only barely twenty-one if Hermione's math was correct, and she was sure it was. The woman before her was a full decade younger than herself considering she'd just turned thirty-one a little more than a week earlier. It left Hermione feeling positively ancient, which was ridiculous.
"Uh, no. Not exactly," Sirius replied for Hermione, when it became obvious she was incapable of speech.
Guilt had her in a quicksand hold, inescapable as it dragged her down. Coming face-to-face with the woman that was supposed to bear Remus a son, had not been on her list of things to do. A little preparation would have been nice. Particularly as she took in the warm smile directed her way and laughter dancing merrily in her rich hazel eyes, clips of green flecked chocolate brown.
Hermione felt like a thief as she looked around, hoping to make a quick escape. Instead, she found a very peaky looking Remus standing in the doorway with Mad-Eye and Kingsley. Mad-Eye's magical blue eye was swirling wildly in it's socket, distracting her from staring at his missing chunk of nose. Mad-Eye had his wand out, and leveled at her chest in an instant. Hermione ignored the raised wand, focusing on the spinning eye instead. The sight of it reminded her of when Harry had taken it from the door of Umbridge's office at the Ministry. Kingsley, on the other hand, was leaning casually against the door jam, dark, bald head shining and his stance relaxed.
She and Sirius had waited to start dinner, knowing Remus would be joining them, but they'd not been told to expect guests or Hermione would have remained upstairs. It was the night before the full moon, and Remus needed to take the Wolfsbane Potion Hermione had brewed for him.
"It's Granger. Potter's mate," Mad-Eye growled suspiciously.
"Yes," Hermione said, frowning. She looked to Remus for an explanation, but he was smiling gently, and seemed inclined to let the scene play out without his interference for the time being. His mere presence sent a hum of awareness through her veins like so many buzzing bees.
"Not the one at Hogwarts, I take it," Kingsley said lightly.
Kingsley. The lone survivor of those currently gathered with her. How utterly devastating to consider...
Hermione missed him more than she'd realized. They worked closely together. Often engaging in working lunches or dinners - much to his wife's chagrin. His wife, Angelica, despaired when Hermione came over during the week, knowing they'd soon get caught up in Ministry politics and forget that the work day was over. But that was to be expected. For almost a year now, Kingsley had been grooming her to take over when he retired, which he planned to do when he and Angelica had children in the next couple years.
"Obviously," Mad-Eye said dryly.
"Merlin! It is you," Tonks gasped, leaning closer to peer at Hermione. Immediately, Hermion leaned back, pressing into her chair back to keep their noses from bumping when Tonks lost her balance, though she righted herself almost at once. "I barely recognize you!"
"I don't look that different," Hermione said, frowning at the genuine surprise the other witch was displaying.
"Different enough. You really grew into yourself," Tonks said admiringly even as Sirius snorted at the statement. "And it wasn't as though I came here expecting to find you'd gotten old - er, older. Oh, you know what I meant!" Tonks groaned, throwing up her hands and rolling her eyes even as embarrassed delight stretched her mouth into a giant grin.
Hermione had never really cared about her appearance overly much, so she wasn't sure what to make of their reactions apart from agreeing that her soft, honey curls had lost much of the wild, coarse frizz they'd displayed during her Hogwarts's years. But she'd never lost her habit of getting lost in her work or in a book and ended up forgetting to eat a lunch here or a dinner there. The result, in combination with her parents' influence on diet and her excellent metabolism, was that she was as slender as she'd ever been, even if she wasn't extremely active.
"How are you here?" Kingsley said, saving her from the awkwardness.
"There was an accident," she said simply, looking to Remus for answers about why he'd brought them without warning.
"I spoke to Albus. He agreed you could start working with them since you're staying here, and they visit most frequently. He feels it would be too risky to tell Molly or Arthur - Minerva too, and definitely Hagrid, but it's something. It will also give you a new challenge," he said.
She was touched by his consideration and willingness to speak to Albus on her behalf. Since term had started, she'd not seen the older wizard, and had had no opportunity to try and convince him to let her help.
"It'll be nice not having to hide, and having a few more people around I can talk to," Hermione said, hoping Remus understood her gratitude.
"You saying I'm not good enough company?" Sirius bristled, raising an imperious brow at her and tossing his long hair over his shoulder.
"You think you are?" Hermione fired back.
He'd polished off at least two brand new bottles of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey this week alone. And when he wasn't drunk, he was sulking over his fights with Harry and Remus. It had made for some tense interactions in recent weeks. Hopefully, with more people around, he'd have a better chance of shaking his funk.
"At least this way they'll have more reason to visit," he sighed, silently acknowledging her point, and confirming her suspicions that he was lonely.
Hermione had tried spending time with him initially, but she could only handle his pointed barbs up to a point before her own temper snapped. They were both going stir crazy locked up without any outlets or hope of parol coming anytime soon. That was part of why Remus's actions meant as much as they did.
It was just too bad he didn't know how uncomfortable Tonks's presence was currently making Hermione feel. Guilty might be a better way to describe it.
"I'll be checkin' your story out, Girlie," Mad-Eye threatened, and she found herself smiling at the familiar indicator of his trademark paranoia.
"I assumed you would," she replied softly, thinking back on how he'd been prior to his death.
"I'm surprised Dumbledore didn't come himself," Sirius said, wondering why Albus wouldn't make himself available to navigate Mad-Eye's quirks and be a part of this meeting.
Hermione had been wondering the same. It wasn't like him not to micromanage, particularly when she knew he'd want to warn everyone about the danger involved in asking too many questions or remind her not to give too much away.
"Umbridge is keeping him busy with the new Ministry decrees," Remus explained. "He had a hard enough time just getting to the Hog's Head to meet with me."
"So what can you tell us?" Tonks asked eagerly, knocking a fork off the table in the process of placing her elbows to prop her head on her fists.
Hermione didn't remember her being quite this clumsy. Perhaps excitement made it worse. The witch was clearly loving the new twist Hermione presented.
"Don't bother asking. She won't say," Sirius grumbled. Hermione gave him a look, reminding him that she had, in fact, shared more than was strictly necessary, and Sirius's eyes shuttered over almost at once.
"Had to try," Tonks said easily, shrugging.
"Can you prove this isn't a trick?" Mad-Eye demanded, not quite ready to believe her or abandon his friends in a potentially dangerous situation while he sought out Albus to question for himself.
"What sort of proof would you like?" Hermione asked cautiously.
"Something Remus, here, can verify," Mad-Eye demanded, taking a swig from his hip flask. The action prompted Remus to go to the icebox and begin passing out refreshments to those gathered in the kitchen.
"The only exam Harry ever scored higher than me on was Remus's final," Hermione said immediately, grinning at the startled wolf.
"Truly? I heard you're the smartest in your year, and I know they named you Prefect over the summer. What happened on that one?" Tonks asked, still studying Hermione as though she were a pinned butterfly on display. Except her genuine amusement at the idea lessened the discomfort. Hermione could admit, if their places were switched, she'd have been just as fascinated if confronted with a time-traveler that was suddenly fifteen years older than the version of the person she was already familiar with.
"The boggart," Hermione admitted, biting her lip embarrassedly over her younger self's ridiculousness.
"Oh! What are you afraid of? For me it's puppets. Those dolls are so creepy," Tonks rattled off, accepting one of the butterbeers Remus was passing out.
Hermione accepted one too, taking a sip before confessing, "Professor McGonagall told me I'd failed all of my exams."
"That right?" Mad-Eye asked, seeking confirmation from Remus and impatiently waving off the butterbeer. Though his magical eye had never strayed from Hermione, and was even then proceeding to scan her from head-to-foot for the upteenth time since he'd arrived.
Remus glanced at her, and they exchanged a smile at the memory. It felt like a lifetime ago at least. From the way he shook his head, he seemed to be having trouble relating her to the student he'd once known as well. But that was fine with her. It'd be strange if he did still see her the same.
"That was, in fact, the form her boggart took, and the reason that she was marked down on her exam. But I think we all know that would never actually happen," Remus said lightly.
"Think I need to hear from Dumbledore himself that you're legit," Mad-Eye announced, turning to leave.
"Don't mind him. He's getting paranoid in his old age!" Tonks called after the retreating figure, grinning at everyone when they heard the front door slam in response.
"FILTH! TRAITORS! BEGONE -"
"Bloody hell, Mad-Eye!" Sirius growled, setting off to silence his mother's portrait. Grumbling as he went. "Just 'cause you're a crotchety old -"
"I heard you were interested in helping," Kingsley said, redirecting the conversation as he pulled a thick folder stuffed with flattened, abused parchments from inside his robes.
"Yes!" Hermione exclaimed, reaching to take the yellowing pages filled with spiky, black script.
"Mind taking a look at these reports? Maybe drafting up a few replies? I haven't the time, but we're hoping to reach an agreement with the centaurs and merpeople living away from the Hogwarts grounds. Albus was in talks with them over the summer, but with the situation at the school, he can't continue. We could still do with having reliable informants elsewhere though, and being assured that they're willing to pass on what they learn," Kingsley explained.
"Of course," Hermione beamed, already scanning the first page as the others set about eating the delayed supper and joking easily.
Phineas Nigellus appeared in the portrait over the library mantle later that night. He looked down his long nose at her, silently demanding a reaction. His sneer increased when she failed to give him the satisfaction. The former Headmaster narrowed his shrewd, dark eyes when she still didn't speak, rustling his expensive black robes and puffing out his chest with unmistakable self-importance.
While she'd always been careful to give his position the respect it was due, she'd never cared for him overly much, and hadn't understood when Harry decided to keep his portrait during his renovations. Not after how difficult Phineas had made things for them during their time on the run. Of course, Phineas had come in handy this last year whenever Harry had wanted to make arrangements to sneak into Hogwarts to visit Teddy.
"I wondered if you were going to come see me," Hermione finally said once it became clear Phineas planned on watching her until she spoke.
"Moody had a lot to say to Dumbledore about you, Girl," he replied at once, smirking.
"I imagine he did," Hermione agreed, smothering her smile. Mad-Eye probably tried to convince Albus she was an imposter. And failing that, that she should either have her memories erased or be sent away altogether until the war was over and they'd reached the point she left from.
"That's all you've got to say?"
"Did you expect me to be scared?" Hermione countered.
"Putting on a brave act doesn't make you invincible," Phineas said coldly.
"I'm locked in a safehouse. What's there to fear?"
"I know you're up to something," he accused slyly.
"I've no idea what you mean," Hermione denied.
"We'll see about that," he muttered suspiciously, then proceeded to stride pompously out of the frame. Though Hermione knew he'd be watching her closely from now on, likely reporting her every move and conversation to Albus like the little sneak he was.
There'd been another Order meeting. The first since the students returned to Hogwarts. Hermione waited until most of the members had departed, then joined Remus, Sirius, Kingsley and Tonks in the kitchen. It was immediately apparent that they'd been drinking.
"Think three'll be enough?" Tonks asked her the moment Hermione entered. Her hair was a waist-length cascade of rich chestnut tonight. It was strangely, almost unsettlingly normal, and Hermione idly wondered at her reasoning for it.
"Three?" Hermione asked, frowning in confusion, then more so when Kingsley handed her a shot of deep amber firewhiskey. The liquid sloshed dangerously as she took a seat beside Tonks at the table.
"Guards," Tonks explained, raising her glass and downing the contents with a sputtering gasp, before she added, "for Hogsmeade this weekend."
"I can go too, if you're worried," Remus offered.
"We already know Dung isn't reliable, so you better plan on going," Sirius answered for Tonks. Sirius only ever relaxed about Harry's safety when he knew Remus was watching over him. Probably because Remus had spent his Hogwarts years watching over him and James, so Sirius knew he was up to the challenge.
It was probably even harder for Sirius right now. After how the Floo call went with Harry a few weeks back, he'd refused to talk to either Remus or Hermione about his godson. Sirius had seemed to take the incident as confirmation that everything Molly had said about him was correct.
"Be sure to check out the Hog's Head," Hermione said knowingly, realizing that the DA's initial recruitment meeting would be happening this weekend. Dumbledore's Army. What a force to be reckoned with they'd turned out to be under Harry's superb tutelage!
"I suddenly feel a whole lot better about things," Tonks said, holding out her glass for Kingsley to refill. He smirked as he did, then refilled his own, swallowing it with a bit more dignity than Tonks, who was flailing her arms about and smacking her lips to shake off the acidic burn. "It sure is nice having you around."
"Yes, yes, now drink up, Cuz. You too, Granger," Sirius said, nodding to the still full glass clutched tightly in Hermione's fist. When she hesitated, assessing the drink, Sirius continued, "It's a party. Live a little."
Sighing, Hermione tossed back her head and swallowed the fiery liquid. It blazed a path down her throat, and she coughed, pressing a hand to her chest as the sensation of fire engulfing her heart slowly faded.
It wasn't as though she never drank. The surviving members of the DA and Order got together at Harry's house every year for the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. Voldemort may have been defeated on May 2nd, but the fighting had begun on the 1st of May. In honor of that, everyone gathered on the first, overindulged - including Molly Weasley - then spent the next day at the memorial service Hogwarts hosted to commemorate the fallen.
There were other times too that the boys convinced her to go out with them, or she'd indulge in a girls night with Fleur, Val and Gin. And Hermione had always enjoyed a good wine. But she could already tell tonight would be different with Sirius instigating things, helped in no small part by Kingsley pouring drinks - bartender turned Minister. If Hermione had only known sooner… oh, the teasing and jokes she could have made!
Kingsley refilled her glass the second she set it down, grinning at her and nudging it forward. Hermione nodded and swallowed it, cringing at the return of the burning in her throat. Flames licked at the tender flesh, a light flaying.
"Oh! Remus, we can disguise ourselves and watch," Tonks suggested. She paused, her glass halfway to her mouth as a thought occurred to her. "Harry's not taking a date there, is he? I'm not sure I want to watch if he spends the whole time snogging - too embarrassing."
Hermione burst out laughing. Harry may have been hopeless with girls back then, but even he'd known better than to take a date there. "No. Not a date."
"He does fancy witches though?" Kingsley asked. "Or wizards. Either way. I just mean, he's not so caught up in the war, he's not getting the chance to have that."
Everyone looked to Hermione, interested in her response. She downed her refilled glass, bracing herself not to reveal too much, but ultimately deciding a little couldn't hurt. The drink was more enjoyable now, the fire less hot and more a pleasant tingling instead. Remus and Sirius exchanged wistful looks, probably remembering James's infatuation with Lily.
"You needn't worry. Harry fancies someone, but he'll soon realize he could do better, and that he should be looking a little closer to find the right witch for him."
"Not you, right?" Tonks asked, gaping at her.
"Definitely not. Harry's like my brother," Hermione said, head feeling lighter after the three drinks she'd consumed.
Laughter filled the room in regular bursts as the night wore on, tangling with the decadent atmosphere of the room, and Hermione was pleased to find herself enjoying the freedom and company.
"What do you think of Remus?" she asked Tonks quietly, not long after the clock had chimed twice, signaling it was two in the morning. Her tongue was thick and loose, forming words without much forethought. But this seemed like as good a time as any to get things back on track, even if she was reluctant to push the man she cared about into the arms of another.
"So you aren't oblivious," Tonks said merrily, faking wiping sweat from her brow in relief. "Whew - I was beginning to worry!"
"What?" Hermione asked, baffled.
"You can't tell me you haven't noticed the way he watches you. He's a predator, and you, Hermione, are his intended prey," Tonks said, giggling uproariously.
"So you… "
"Me what?" Tonks blinked, then blinked again, her mouth falling open as she stared at Hermione. "Me and him? No! Not that he's not swoon worthy - I mean sigh - but I'm no poacher, and that man is clearly in love with you."
"Tonks -" Hermione began, wanting to tell the witch to keep her voice down. Not to mention needing to inform her of how wrong she was. Remus wasn't in love with her. Perhaps he could have loved her, but she'd already ruined that chance. He'd made no move towards her again after the first time when she'd not taken him up on his advance.
"Besides, Sirius warned me my first night here that he was taken. Now I see he was referring to you."
"Tonks!"
"I think I'll have to call you a liar if you claim you're not interested in him too," Tonks continued, oblivious to Hermione's attempts to get her to quiet down or stop long enough to listen. No wonder nothing was happening between Tonks and Remus, Tonks wasn't developing the crush she initially had because she believed Remus was already taken.
"My situation is complicated," Hermione pointed out, referring to her time travel as an excuse not to be with Remus. It seemed an easy explanation for why they couldn't be together, and hopefully Tonks would agree and then things would work themselves out without her having to do this again.
"The future will come - whether we want it to or not. So there's no point not living today. We're fighting a war. We don't have a minute to waste. You have to grab happiness wherever you can find it!" Tonks shouted, standing and throwing her arms up to emphasize her point.
"You're intoxicated," Hermione gaped, not having realized Tonks was so deep in her cups. She looked around for help, and was surprised to find Sirius already approaching.
"I am wise beyond my years right now," Tonks insisted, trying to cross her arms defiantly even as she burst into giggles. The attempt only served to tip her sideways. Right into Sirius's waiting arms. He scooped her up.
"Of course you are. Now let's get you to bed. You've got work in the morning, and that will be here before you know it," he murmured gently, carrying his cousin from the room to let her stay in one of the spares and sleep it off.
"I should be heading out as well," Kingsley said in his deep, soothing voice. The words forming even slower than normal given the amount of alcohol he'd consumed.
"Bye, Kingsley," Hermione said while Remus nodded at the dark man.
"What were you two whispering about?" Remus asked, clearly assumed by the recent events he'd witnessed.
"Would you believe me if I said boys?" Hermione said, shaking her head in amazement at how the conversation went.
"From her, yes," Remus said, infusing the statement with a world of meaning.
"But not me?"
"Will you tell me what's been bothering you lately?" he countered, unexpectedly referencing the distance she'd deliberately placed between them while moving around the table to take Tonks's recently vacated seat.
Hermione took in his curiously assessing eyes, only barely masking his desire for her. The alcohol he'd consumed must have made him bold. "You read me so easily," she acknowledged, wishing things were different. What would it be like to go through life with a partner that understood her?
"I pay attention," he said, bringing his fingers to her face, and using the tips to smooth out the concerned wrinkles in her brow.
"My presence has changed things… unintentionally," Hermione admitted, closing her eyes and leaning into his touch. It was strong and measured, safe and warm.
"How badly?" he asked, withdrawing his hand and turning serious in an instant.
"In a way I'm not sure I can live with," she said frankly, the dreamy haze fogging her brain burning away under the rays of reality.
"Is it too late to fix it?"
"It might be," she said, glancing down at the floor as her conversation with Tonks replayed in her mind.
Silently, she begged him not to ask what he could do to help. She couldn't bring herself to ask him directly to be with Tonks. Not when she wanted to be with him so badly herself.
"If you're not sure, then things could still work themselves out. In that case, there's no point worrying until you need to," Remus said firmly, sitting back and reaching across the table for his drink.
He seemed to remember that she'd not welcomed his advances before, and was determined not to inflict them on her again now while they'd been imbibing, and therefore had clouded judgements. One more point to denote his character.
"So I should 'grab happiness wherever I can find it'?" Hermione said, quoting Tonks, and trying to lighten the tone of their conversation while also diffusing the tension beginning to trickle in with Remus's obvious retreat from her.
"She had a point," he stated, averting his eyes.
"It's certainly something to consider," she breathed, drawing Remus's attention back to her. He opened his mouth, but a shuffling noise had both of them looking towards the doorway.
Sirius had reentered the kitchen, but almost at once, he'd begun backing out, trying to go unnoticed. His attempt failed, and he froze when both Remus and Hermione were staring at him. He gave them a half smile, and sheepishly asked, "Am I interrupting?"
"Not at all, Padfoot. Your timing is impeccable," Remus said easily.
"In that case you won't mind keeping me company a while longer, eh, Moony?" Sirius requested, reaching for the nearly empty bottle of firewhiskey.
"I'll leave you to it," Hermione murmured, departing before she said something she shouldn't, and knowing they needed this time together to work things out between them.
Two days later, Remus and Tonks returned to Grimmauld Place, each wearing long black robes and carrying veiled hats. Tonks and Remus both removed their hoods, each dirty and worn, though in only slightly worse condition than his faded robes.
"Dung is furious he missed all the action," Tonks said, speaking in a strong Yorkshire accent as she grinned at Sirius and Hermione, both of whom had been waiting for them to arrive and share about how the Hogsmeade visit went. She frowned and pointed her wand first at her throat, then Remus's. "Action?" she repeated, grinning even brighter, and acknowledging, "Ah, yes. That's much better. What… oh, Dung. Right. He thinks I don't know that was him dressed up as a witch by the fire." Tonks was shaking her head in amusement, but Remus was focused on her.
"You really should have warned Harry what you'd planned. I thought he was set to have a fit for a moment there when all those students showed up to hear him," Remus chided her, ruining the effect with his wide smile.
"I did tell him!" Hermione insisted. It had been Ron that thought Harry would baulk if he knew how many were interested, but Hermione had been more worried about setting him off and figured there'd be less chance of that with more witnesses around.
"What was it I heard you say? 'A couple of people?'" Tonks said, mimicking her timid, high-pitched voice as she'd attempted to manage Harry's temper.
"Oh, come off it!" she said, rolling her eyes. They had no idea what a short fuse Harry had this year. They'd no doubt have tried understating things as well.
"Dumbledore thinks you're right about Fudge. Thinking he's afraid Albus is building an army at the school. He was rather impressed you figured it out," Remus informed her. "We gave him our report just before."
"It wasn't very difficult given all the nonsense Umbridge was spouting," Hermione said, brushing his praise aside. "Particularly when combined with all the new policies."
"And as a result, the army he feared was created," Tonks said gleefully.
"I knew he had it in him," Sirius said, beaming. Hermione had filled him in on what was taking place while they waited. "James's son through and through!"
"Yes, well, he still needs to be careful with Umbridge. The last thing he needs is to get on her bad side," Remus warned, concern for Harry nearly tangible.
"She's not still giving you trouble, is she?" Sirius asked, frowning at his friend.
"What trouble?" Tonks asked, looking between the two wizards.
"Her laws against werewolves," Remus said cooly, clenching his fists.
"Oh," Tonks said, wincing sympathetically. "Those."
"The last one she presented to the Minister called for us to pay a hazard tax every full moon - as if we have spare money to pay after her last law prevented us from working in direct contact with society, which is in addition to preventing us from holding Ministry positions - and required we spend the day before as well as the day after the full moon in Azkaban," Remus said tiredly, a bone-deep weariness radiating from him.
"She didn't!" Tonks gasped, horrified by the prospect.
"Punishment for being what we are. As if it isn't already a curse," Remus said, averting his eyes from the pity directed his way.
"Someone needs to lock her up. See how she likes staying there," Sirius growled, bearing his teeth in a way that was reminiscent of Snuffles.
Hermione touched Remus's hand, gaining his immediate attention. "It won't always be like this," she promised. Remus flushed shamefully, closing his eyes and turning his face away once more.
"But I will always be tainted," Remus said dully.
"You're not tainted!" Hermione hissed, squeezing his hand.
"Right, well I best be sharing all this with Kingsley," Tonks interjected loudly, tripping against the edge of the bench as she hastily made her way out of the room.
"Wait for me. I'll see you out," Sirius said, rushing to follow after her.
"Remus, look at me, please," Hermione requested once they were alone. After a moment, he did. "You are remarkable. Being a werewolf doesn't change that fact or make you any less wonderful," she declared forcefully.
Remus shook his head slightly, hardly daring to believe her. "I talked to Sirius."
"About before? Thinking he was the one to betray James," she asked, not following the shift in conversation he was making. Other than the night they'd been drinking together, today was the most she'd seen the two friends interact since Sirius's explosion.
She knew that conversation had been weighing on each of them, and with Sirius's movements restricted, and Remus keeping busy for the Order, they'd not had much chance to talk.
"Yes, we discussed that. He was so quick to forgive before, just grateful that someone finally knew the truth that it didn't matter that he spent twelve years wrongfully in prison," Remus said. His face was more closed off than usual. Hermione had the sense he was building towards something, but she didn't know what. Her mind was still stuck on how he saw himself thanks to narrow-minded trolls like Umbridge.
"Did you forgive him as well?" Hermione asked absently.
"He'd done nothing wrong," Remus denied, brow furrowing at her question. It seemed to throw him as much as the topic change had previously thrown her.
"He suspected you first. That was the whole reason you weren't told about the switch in secret-keepers," Hermione pointed out.
"It's understandable -"
"It's not! Your worth is not defined by your condition. You have to stop excusing others and making allowances when they forget that," Hermione insisted fervently. She started to reach out, but Remus caught her hands in his first, tangling their fingers together.
"Do you truly believe that?"
"Yes!"
"Will you tell me about Teddy?" he asked suddenly, making her start at the unexpected segway.
"He told you," Hermione breathed, scanning his face. No wonder he'd been masking his thoughts. Sirius had probably told him the other night when she'd left the two in the kitchen with the bottle of firewhiskey.
"Of course he did," Remus said quietly, one side of his lips twitching up. "It's not quite the same, but…"
Hermione nodded, conceding his point. She'd not been fair making his decisions for him. He had a right to at least have all the knowledge and facts before he decided what he wanted. Especially considering he was central to the issue.
"Your son is incredible," Hermione said simply, thinking of the small boy with turquoise hair and emerald green eyes. His shy smile and love of books. Loyalty and a fiercely protective side, his defining qualities.
"My… son," Remus tried, the word seeming to stick uncomfortably to his tongue, a mixture of molasses and peanut butter. So much caution and fear were rolled up in the single syllable.
"Remus, he's not a werewolf," Hermione promised, grateful she could alleviate what she imagined his primary concern to be.
"Oh," he said, lips forming the word more than he actually said it. "What else?"
"He looks like you. And he's quiet. Thoughtful," she began, smiling fondly as she recalled the birthday gift he'd made her the year before he left for Hogwarts. It'd been a thin wooden bookmark with tiny wolves carved into the surface. He'd made it for her and said it was so she'd think of him whenever she was reading.
"And he's the only reason you won't be with me?"
"Yes," Hermione admitted regretfully.
The instance she formed the word, Remus pulled her against him and bent to press his lips to hers. His mouth was soft yet demanding, a contrast that left her reeling. Sunshine and warmth exploded in her veins. Starbursts of pleasure and everything wonderful. Insistently, he coaxed her lips apart, teasing them open to slip his tongue inside the cavern of her mouth.
He tasted of Honeydukes chocolate, rich and decadent. Velvet and champagne stroked her senses. Hermione was instantly addicted, desiring more of his heady flavor. Never could she get enough of him. Her blood sang for him, begging - no demanding - more. More. It was a raw need in the very marrow of her bones.
Almost unconsciously, she felt his arms slip around her back, hauling her even closer and locking her flush against his chest. She responded by threading her fingers into his hair, lightly scratching his scalp, and feeling his answering moan hum through his body as she did.
Breathless and dizzy, Remus tore his lips away, separating only enough to gulp in much needed oxygen. Hermione panted in his arms, grateful for his strength as it was the only thing holding her upright. His chest was a solid wall of fluid muscle and coiled, barely leashed strength.
"I don't know what the future holds. Not like you do. I only know I want you by my side when it comes," he breathed, brushing her lips with his as he spoke, a teasing, tantalizing caress..
Hermione didn't resist when he took possession of her mouth again. Answering his desire with an endless well of her own consuming need.