Epilogue

моя мыиш

James,

Hello, I guess. This might be the weirdest thing I have ever written down but, I'm your Mom. I never intended on knowing you by this point in your life, and that's not because I don't love you or because you were something bad. I was bad for you, I didn't want that influence on you. I did a load of bad stuff, I was trained way back to work against the USA, to work against any enemies of what was then the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics - Russia. I was born there, in 1927 if you'll believe it, many don't but then you've seen your Dad so I guess you will. I won't go through all the boring details, I did a lot of bad stuff, I've tortured, I've killed, there has been innocent blood on my hands. They reckon, the American's do, that I have been warped in my mental capacities by the way I was brought up, that I'm not as empathetic as I probably would be but the others (I guess you might know them - the other avengers, or at least you can ask Steve) they didn't see that.

You were named after the first person that saw beyond the psycho, he's your Dad's best friend, and in between (it's a long and pretty complicated story) he helped train me. He trained in combat, hand to hand sniping tactics, he helped with my English, taught me different Americanisms. He also had a large part on teaching fondue technique, I'd say ask Steve but I have a feeling you probably don't have the best birds and bees conversations with your Dad, I can just imagine, poor kid.

When I'm writing this down you're still a baby, a tiny little thing that likes to curl up like a little frog, still adjusting to the world, you've got a foster Mom I believe, she's nice Steve says, and I know he would have picked her well. You've got a little bit of hair, and still have the creepy leftover umbilical stump attached to your belly. Your sense of humour must be developing though since I'm told you peed in your Dad's face the other day. I can't go back to work yet, got some stitches (thanks) which still need to heal properly and my ab muscles are gonna take some work, but I'll be back out there soon.

It's hard to think what you'll be like when you read this, will you grow up a bit long and stringy like your dad was? Whose hair will you end up with and will your eyes stay blue? Will you be into sports, or more of a tech kid?

There are things I don't need to be answered though, stuff I know about you because it's the reason you were made. You will be a good person, you'll do the right thing even if that means being punched in the face, you'll be kind and courteous and hell you'll be stubborn as anything. You'll be the best you can be, whether there is some of that chemically enhanced crap in you from both of us or whether the best thing you got was antibodies and great sarcasm.

You probably don't know what the squiggles at the top of this are, you might not even know they are letters let alone say something, but that's my first language there, Moya Meesh, that's what it says more or less. It means my mouse, that's what I used to call you when you were in my belly when you were causing havoc making me want to fall asleep on my feet or breaking a rib or two. My little mouse, though you're more of a bear, a tiger, a lion - any of those brave animals. For a while, you were so tiny, so insignificant, and I was scared to love you due to a baby no one knows about, not your father, not even your namesake, but even a mouse managed to steal my heart.

I don't know where I am now, I might be in prison, I might be dead, maybe you'll see glances of me on the tv or the internet somewhere, maybe you'll be able to look at photographs and see our similarities. Perhaps one day we'll meet again, but not until you are far from the mouse I knew, not until you are a man, the hero you were born to be.

Alas this is yours, it might not be much but it was something that, regardless of taste, is an important part of your heritage and something you are old enough to drink (even if the American laws say 21, I, and most of the world says 18). Stolichnaya is one of the best, better than a lot of the attempts at Vodka you get in the US. You should drink it first (if not always) as a shot, and as I am not there to say this for you,

я желаю тебе кучу денег, море любвн и уйму времени, чтобы насладиться этим

поздравляю с днем рождения!

за твоё здоровье, моя моленькя мышка

Love your Mother, Natasha xx