Episode 7

"So Ranpo won't be at the meeting because that would be too easy." Mori explains to the cast.

"You just want us to look desperate." Fukuzawa deadpans.

"Guilty."

"You're the only one I know who's still sleeping at 9:00 AM."

"You haven't met many people then, clearly." Dazai jokes. "I know people who sleep till noon!"

"CUT! Get off the set Dazai!"

"Maybe he's got some soldier ants working for him in his brain-"

Kunikida hits Dazai, whose piping-hot tea spills right on to his crotch. The brunette shrieks in agony.

"Sorry!" Kunikida says frantically.

Gin snickers off to the side. In one hand is an iPhone, recording the mishap. "I'm gonna be internet-famous!"

Yosano laughs.

A scriptwriter hands his notes to Mori. The doctor reads them. "So you want Kunikida to call Dazai the poster child for sloth and irresponsibility?"

"Yes." He says nervously.

"It's perfect!"

"I'm getting sick of hearing the word Azure." Dazai groans.

Higuchi barges in. "I got a lifetime supply of blue raspberry lollipops! They're azure!"

Dazai throws his teacup at Higuchi, who ducks. "NO MORE AZURE!" He yells.

"I really wonder why these two are partners." Atsushi says at the camera. The camera hits him in the face. "OW!"

"Kunikida-sama…this goes too far." Sasaki says, then starts laughing. She turns the notebook to face the camera.

There is a doodle of Kunikida which is labeled as "Neurotic Bastard." It is a very silly caricature of the man, with a large yelling mouth, big glasses, and hands thrown in the air.

"CUT!"

Kunikida looks at Dazai. "I didn't do it this time. I swear."

Naomi starts snickering from another room. Kunikida marches over, drags her out, and begins a lecture of colossal proportions.

"Do we have a map?"

"Behind the seat."

"Who keeps a physical map around in these days?" Dazai questions.

"Apparently Kunikida."

"Give me your number?" The ability-user snorts. "Can't I say something more intimidating?"

"It's fine as is, kid." Mori shoots him down.

"I'm useless in this episode!" Atsushi realizes.

"Not totally. You hit the big guy on the head with a trash can."

"And it does nothing. This episode could have gone on without me."

Dazai pats his head. "You're not useless, you're doing your best."

"We go through a window?!" Kunikida shrieks. "That's dangerous!"

"It's not real glass." Mori assures him.

Dazai goes through the glass. CRASH! "I'M BLEEDING!"

"Oops. We forgot to replace the glass pane."

"You're going to get sued." Atsushi mutters.

"Their partnership is amazing…" The weretiger muses. "I'm sure changing my tune."

"CUT!" Mori yells. "And why wouldn't you? Look at what they just did!"

"I confess I told a lie earlier." Sasaki says.

Atsushi snorts. "Just one?"

"CUT! Atsushi, cut it out!"

"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" Atsushi yells. "I KNEW SASAKI WAS TROUBLE!" He waves the script in the air.

"Yes, you're a genius!" Elise says. "I knew Rintarou was good at dramatic twists!"

And I am on a roll!