15

Light could not remember how he got out of bed that morning, how long it took for him to dress up, and leave the building. He wanted to get out as soon as possible. He didn't want to face L for now, who fortunately appeared so tired from last night that he was still asleep. The Shinigami left him alone for now too, which was a small mercy on his part, considering how he essentially fucked up with his life like that.

He wandered along the park, trying to enjoy his newly found freedom, but could not stand it due to there being many kids either playing or hurrying off to school. He looked for a place to eat, and found a local fast food restaurant around the corner. He hasn't eaten those things for a while, and just sat there surrounded with students, young salarymen, and just random people trying to get through the morning. He almost wished he could be like them, young, carefree, with a bright future to look forward to. Light was like them not too long ago, back when all he was ever thinking about was school work, grades, and being accepted into the best college. He didn't think he can go back to that youthful, innocent world even if he tried. A lot of things happened along the way. Most of it was his fault. He held back another set of tears about to fall and just hurried up finishing his meal. When he left he continued wandering aimlessly into the streets of Tokyo.

He thought of going back to his old university, but immediately scrapped the thought for fear of being recognised. He has been gone for too long. Maybe a few people missed him. Maybe most of them didn't care, and may even be thankful that he wasn't there at all. He didn't care about what most people think of him, to be honest. It's just that….he didn't want any more questions. He didn't want to answer anymore of those questions.

He went to a local pharmacy and looked without anything in mind. He found the contraception aisle, and inspected a few. Perhaps it was too late for him at this point, he concluded with a deep heart. He should have been more careful. But was it even his fault to begin with? Those kinds of things don't usually happen to other people. He remembered Ryuuk suggesting that he can still get rid of it. He didn't know how, and maybe he should have asked instead of just freezing like that. Admittedly, he was very confused. It was supposed to be impossible for a man to get pregnant, but here he was. The first pregnant male in the history of the world. Maybe he was exaggerating a bit but that was understandable. He wondered, if he told anyone, would they believe him? He felt the sudden urge to see his mom after that, so he quietly left the pharmacy to the direction of his home.

The house was completely empty when he entered. Sayu must have left for school, and his mom must be in the groceries or something like that. He had the house to himself again, and it felt so nostalgic for him. He looked at all the pictures on the wall, on the living room, happy faces. He couldn't believe it was him who was happy in those pictures. He felt the sudden urge to look further, into their family album. He looked at a younger version of him, looking innocently at the camera. It all seemed so distant to him, he could finally no longer to stand to see anymore, and hastily returned it back to its shelf.

He checked his room, it still looked the same as when he left it a few months ago, it was spotless. His mom must still be cleaning his room after all. He was planning to wait for his mom to arrive and maybe talk to her, but decided against it after a few more minutes in his room. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know if she would believe her. He left the house as quietly as he came, and left no sign that he actually came there.

He checked his phone again, there were no calls. Maybe they were giving him a break this time. Maybe they were growing suspicious of him and did not want to contact him at all. He didn't care, and he just continued wandering the streets again.

A sudden idea hit him. He has not spoken to Misa yet. Ryuuk told him that the girl had completely lost his memories about him being Kira, but was supposedly still assuming that they are a couple. He didn't want to be the one breaking her heart, but at this point, he really should just give her closure. He decided to text her.

"We should break up", was the simple message that he sent without second thought. Instant regret came after that.

It was less than a minute after when his phone got bombarded by calls from Misa, asking for any explanation. He tried to explain but could not get through her because of her talking, bawling. He hanged up the phone a couple of times. Finally, he sent a text.

"I'm gay. I've been cheating on you for a while now" he sent in the hopes of her getting angry enough to not call him anymore. Big mistake. He had no choice but to block her after that. Honestly, he didn't know what he was thinking. He knew that the girl was a train wreck when it comes to relationships. Her obsession with her was scary a lot of the time. He genuinely feared for his life.

He thought of somewhere he could be safe. Ironically there was only one he could think of where Misa could not reach him. He didn't really want to go there to be honest, but he knew he should, or else it would look more suspicious. Not to mention L deserves to know what happened anyway.

Surprisingly, no one but L was there when he came. The other task force members were busy with reporting on their findings to the higher ups, while L was there alone but was still working. He gave him a quick greeting, but went back to working with the case. He seemed a bit cold to him, and he was hesitant to ask at first.

"Misa Amane has been trying to contact you here earlier", L said offhandedly. "She thought that you were still staying here, and she was so persistent that we had to block her."

Light was surprised how quick Misa was handling things that it really confirmed his fear.

"I want to talk to you in private, L" Light tried to hide his desperation, but maybe L noticed. He turned his back to face Light for the first time.

"Is this something important, Raito-kun?" he asked directly.

"Umm…it could be" Light hesitated. "Maybe we can go to our room and talk there?"

"I don't think you will be allowed in my room anymore, Raito-kun." L replied frankly. "You are already cleared of suspicion for now but I still need to be careful. If you are Kira you might use this chance to kill me. I hope you understand"

Light felt down after that. He weighed the consequences.

"Are you no longer interested in me because I am not Kira?"

"Of course not, Raito-kun." L answered quickly. "I still have my suspicion, but the evidence suggests that you are not Kira for now. Or perhaps you came here to confess?"

"No…I…just want to talk to you." Light almost looked like he wanted to cry. This was going nowhere, and L didn't want to waste his time any longer.

"I will give you five minutes, Raito-kun", L offered. "However Watari is here and will definitely listen to our conversation. I have to be careful, I hope you understand"

Light thought about it for a while.

"Fine, I think that's alright" Light agreed after careful consideration.

L took him to a private room so that no one can run into them while talking, except for Watari listening in. Light hesitated for a while, but started talking when L reminded him of the time.

"How was the investigation going on?" he started.

"I am sure that is not something you really want to ask, Raito-kun, and I have to remind you of the limited time, unless you came here to request that you still be included in the investigation, then my answer is that I will consider it."

"Oh….well…so are you convinced about the death note?"

"We have yet to prove it, Raito-kun. But I am sure you know, that there is a strong reason to believe that it could be the real deal." L said impatiently, because he knew that there was something else. "I am convincing a few heads of states to cooperate with this matter"

Light hesitated for a while again. L knew that this would take more than 5 minutes, and just answer what the teen might be wondering about.

"If we test it with convicts on the death row, then we can see if it works. If they live, then it just means that the death note does not work, and we start from scratch again. But if it does, then we will be closer to the truth." L continued.

"So you still think I am Kira….but why are you letting me go?" Light asked softly.

"I don't think you can escape so easily, Raito-kun" L reminded. "If you are indeed Kira, then rest assured I will pursue you"

Light was a bit quiet. But there was something about him. L felt like there was still something he wasn't telling you.

"So you're telling me you will readily believe that something like a death note existing is possible"

"I suppose so, Raito-kun" L confirmed. "Is there something else…"

"I'm pregnant, L" Light almost shouted, as if it took him a lot of courage to say. He looked down on the floor after that, and L could not read his face.

"What do you mean, Raito-kun? You are a male…"

"I know it is not possible for a man to get pregnant, however, if you believe a death note exists…"

"It still does not make sense, Raito-kun. Human anatomy suggests…"

"So you don't believe me…"

L fell silent. He could not tell what he was feeling.

"So you're assuming that I am the father?"

"Is there anybody else? We were chained for almost a month" Light snapped.

"Have you checked this with a doctor…"

"Just listen to me, L! I'm pregnant! I don't know how to explain this, and I don't know if you would believe me, but…I just…am" Light rubbed his eyes fiercely. "I don't think I can continue with the investigation anymore, especially if you don't believe me."

"I want to believe you, Light."

"But you cant?"

"Light, my hands are full with the investigation right now. Let me talk to you after you calm down…"

"I don't know what to do, L…" Light at this point could not hide his tears. "I'm scared…"

L hugged him and rubbed his back a few times so that he can calm down. He was starting to regret allowing Watari in on the conversation after all. Sure enough,

"L, you are needed at the investigation room" came the voice of Watari.

"I'll be there in a moment, Watari. Can you please allow Raito-kun to just stay here until I come back?"

"Absolutely"

L gave him another hug back, and started walking towards the investigation room. He gave another look at the teen, and somehow wanted to go back and comfort him, but Watari was being firm. If he knew that it would be crucial for him to stay with Light at that point then he would have asked for a few more minutes.

Light was still crying, when he saw a shadow of a man standing in front of him.

"Watari?"

…