Hospitalized
Everything was dark and quiet and he felt disconnected as if he was drifting in that space between sleep and wakefulness.
His first awareness was when he heard his wife crying and talking to him. He didn't get all of the words, but he knew she was hurting and asking him not to leave her. What frustrated him though, was that no matter how much he wanted to reach out and comfort her, to simply open his eyes and let her know he'd heard; he couldn't move or react in any way. Instead, he simply lay there and listened.
Then he heard Jones visit saying Diana was comforting his wife and Neal was taking the situation hard. They were doing their best to help the others, but they needed Peter, so the agent asked him to get better.
The visit that hurt the most though, was listening to his brother. His heart ached to hear Neal talk about the past rejections he'd endured and how lonely he must feel thinking no one really wanted him or truly cared. Neal had his friendship with Mozzie and the gracious caring of June to help him through, but somehow that wasn't enough. He longed for connection and belonging that always seemed to be just beyond his reach so he kept even those that he had at a distance to ease the pain of the ultimate rejection when it came. Wishing he could hug his brother and answer his question, Peter couldn't comfort him either so instead, he continued to listen.
Gathering his own information as he waited, Peter knew they were taking care of themselves and each other, but he knew they weren't entirely okay. They were hurting, but there was nothing he could do.
Twitching his finger, Peter felt like he was waking up. His chest and head hurt so he was feeling more, but it was his ability to move that seemed the most freeing so he focused on that. Shifting his fingers slightly again, he felt a soft hand grab onto them as he heard Elizabeth move to stand over him.
"Hon?" she questioned with hope in her voice.
Working on his eyes, he wanted to see her, but it took a lot of effort to lift his lids. After a few moments, he managed to get a glimpse of light but closed his eyes again. Making another effort, he opened them again and slowly allowed himself to adjust to the change from the darkness.
It was the best sight he'd seen in a long time. Elizabeth looked rumpled and tired, but her smile was brilliant in her joy and her eyes were shining with tears at seeing him awake and responsive. Hugging his hand and kissing it, Elizabeth told him how glad she was to see him awake after the scare he'd given her.
He didn't have the strength to talk yet and it took a lot just to drink her in before his eyes started to droop.
Hearing a noise by the door, he saw two strangers walk in wearing doctor's coats. He didn't focus on them, but as he drifted off to sleep they started checking his stats on the machines and making some adjustments.
The pain eased and it was too much to resist drifting off to sleep so his eyes fell closed and he let himself relax into slumber.
Slowly, a little with each time he woke up, Peter was able to regain his awareness and function.
Reaching a point where he was sitting up and holding conversations, Peter was caught staring at the door.
"Neal hasn't been back," Elizabeth clasped his hand and explained. "He's either holed himself up in the apartment or at work, but Mozzie says he's helping to keep him updated so Neal knows your progress."
Sighing, Peter hadn't heard Neal since his parting so he knew that was likely, but he had hoped. "I'm not surprised. Considering what he said to me when he did visit, I hurt him deeper than he knows how to deal with. Even with being experienced at rejection and issues, this was more personal because I'm his biological family and a friend."
"You heard him? I was outside the door when he was talking, but you were in a coma." Elizabeth was surprised as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed for an easier conversation.
"Yeah, I heard you, Jones and Diana, him, a lot of those conversations really." Peter smiled slightly to see his wife's surprise. "I couldn't do anything about them, but I did hear."
"Doctor Woodcomb, Ellie, she said that some patients can hear what goes on around them while they're in comas, but I thought it was more likely as they came out of them, not while…" she drifted off but Peter knew she meant not while they're dying.
Reaching out to hold his wife's hand, Peter couldn't really hug her yet. His injuries were still healing and the equipment attaching him to the remaining machines around him made it difficult to even attempt such action, but holding hands was at least a source of comfort. "Apparently, it is possible to even in the depth of a coma." Letting her hand go, he reached up to her face and ran his thumb along her cheek while resting his hand against her skin. "You know I'll always come back to you if I can help it."
Crying, Elizabeth leaned into his hand and brought both of hers up to hold it. She really wanted the comfort of his proximity, but it was about the best she could do.
Jones and Diana paid a visit and since he was stronger they settled in for a long conversation while Elizabeth had to do some work for a client.
It wasn't difficult to get the information from them, even if it was information he already knew, and Peter didn't like what he heard any more than when Neal had said it.
Neal was questioning his value as a person to those around him, which Peter already knew from Neal himself. However, he hadn't known that Neal was so physically reactive to the situation as he'd twitched and flinched around them several times, particularly Jones as he'd been watching Neal through the hours immediately following the event. It seemed that Neal was hurting and battling within himself to a point that he couldn't hide it anymore. Perhaps that was a good thing though.
Discussing the situation, Peter didn't tell them what he'd done to cause the situation, but he gave them an idea. "Do you remember Dentist of Detroit case, where I alluded that Neal was a con, always was a con, and always would be a con?" At their nods, he continued, "I pretty much said that without realizing it, and under the circumstances it was like running him over with a freight train. Now he's trying to protect himself from me and holding everyone at a distance as a result."
Frowning, Jones didn't seem to get it, "Neal knows about your no man left behind policy in that you'd take a bullet for a criminal even if it was just to arrest them, he said so himself, but he still questions why you'd take one for him because he's a criminal?"
"It's not his lack of value because he's a criminal that's the ultimate source of the issue; it's his value as a person that's the problem. When he visited while I was in the coma, he talked about deeper aspects of his past for the first time. I'm just the latest incarnation of a long line of issues," Peter explained some of what he'd heard from them and his answers to their questions before continuing to talk about Neal. "The best thing I can think of to do for him is to remind him of his value, and not just to the team as an asset either, he's got his value as a person. If he'll let me talk to him when I get out of here, I want to answer his main question myself."
Agreeing, Jones and Diana started discussing game plan options that they could use to work on Neal for improving his self-perception if they could help it. It wouldn't be easy to discern the source of his self-perception issues as he knew his value for his skills. Neal was smart, graceful, capable, and good-looking and he knew it. On the surface, he seemed to have it all, but looks can be deceiving.
Starting into physical therapy, Peter was able to get up and around on his own for short trips. He'd started by walking his own hallway but was up to short explorations down nearby halls if he took breaks along the way. It was minor changes in the scenery at best, but after weeks of remaining in the same room, he welcomed what he could get.
On such a trip, he overheard the doctors Woodcomb trying to discern why they'd been called to oversee his recovery
"Do you mind my asking who contacted you? Peter asked to let them know he'd unintentionally overheard them as he moved to a nearby seat for a break.
"The original call came from someone you might almost call a family friend, considering she has worked in relation to my parents, brother, and sister-in-law. She used her position in government to make the rest of the arrangements saying it was a favor to her personally. We haven't been able to figure anything else out as we don't connect to anyone here and we don't know her personal life to figure out if that is her reasoning for making the request." Doctor Ellie Woodcomb explained vaguely while watching him closely.
Nodding, Peter shifted to get more comfortable for their conversation. "I know a lot of people in government, my boss knows more, and my friend recently revealed more of his history than I had known about before. However, based on his attitude from the first time he visited to the second, I'd say my friend was the one who did something. He was about as vague as you were a moment ago, but he did mention a connection to government and particularly knowing a family. It would make sense if he knew your government relations so he was aware of your medical skills and pulled strings indirectly on my behalf while keeping his promise to retain a distance for everyone's safety. I can't confirm it of course, but that's my theory."
It was Peter's turn to watch the doctors closely and sensing that Ellie was closest to the matter, he focused on her. She frowned and seemed to run through the vague information he had shared comparing it to the information she knew. Then her eyes got bigger before frowning indicating a theory.
"I see you have a theory as to who he might be in your life. Now, I have a question for you. If my friend is the person you just thought of, why would he be permanently banished?" Peter wanted to know if his brother had truly been as rejected as he'd stated or if he was blowing it out of proportion.
Giving it some thought, Ellie gave him her theory. "If he is the person I'm thinking of, then he got my brother expelled for something he didn't do, was used as an excuse for his girlfriend breaking up with him, and then got my brother into government work. Take your pick, he made a mess of my brother's life and we're protective of him."
Crossing his arms in thought, Peter could understand the desire to protect his brother, but at the extent of banishing his friend? Would he banish Mozzie if he seemed to be getting Neal into trouble? Snorting, he knew he wouldn't, couldn't, and shouldn't. Mozzie wouldn't leave Neal, Neal wouldn't take too kindly to his interference, and he wouldn't punish Neal for the behavior of his friend. "Did your brother have any say in the matter?"
"He was the one who refused to contact him for years after school and called him his most hated person ever." Ellie was adamant that her brother hadn't wanted anything to do with Neal after what he'd done.
Sighing, Peter didn't like the sound of it, but what she said matched what Neal had said so he got the answer he wanted, just not how he wanted it. Neal truly had been rejected a lot in his past and it wasn't a hyperbolized retelling to explain his actions. No wonder Neal wanted to keep those in his life at a distance. When everyone you care about turns around at some point and utterly rejects you, it's hard to let anyone close, especially those who've hurt you.
Rubbing his palms over his eyes, Peter wasn't going to let his emotions get the better of him in front of these strangers. "That means I've got a lot of work cut out for me."
"What do you mean by that?" Devon asked him curiously while watching him in concern.
"I've rejected him in my own way, and in a way he totally doesn't deserve, but I was too much of an idiot to think it all through until after the damage was done. Now I keep learning the depth of why my reaction hurt him so much and it isn't going to be easy to apologize to him or to work on his self-perception." Dropping his hands, he looked up at them to find them both staring at him. "Don't worry about it; he's my responsibility on pretty much every level so I'll work on it."
The doctors were quiet as they accompanied him back to his room and made sure he was comfortable after a quick checkup. Then they slipped away as he drifted off in a nap, but he overheard their whispers about whether or not they should have Chuck look into the situation before the door closed.
As he healed, Peter got more and more restless. He was tired of being cooped up, wearing the flimsy hospital gown so that the doctors could do their tests and attach their monitors more easily, eating the bland hospital food, and sleeping alone to name a few of his annoyances. Based on the doctors' comments, it would be quite a while before he'd be able to join his wife, drink coffee, go for a run, or eat anything with too much flavor. The bullets had done their damage, but the repercussions on his heart and other organs that were too close to the damage meant it would take a while to recover completely.
On the day of his release, Peter was excited to be going home. Although his life wasn't returning to normal yet, he was at least going to be able to be more comfortable at home. He could wear his own clothes, curl up on his own couch, watch his own television where his games were easily accessible, and pursue his own interests without someone constantly interrupting for some test or check-up.
Shaking hands with the Woodcombs when it was time to say goodbye, Peter was glad to have had their help. "I know you've been kept away from your lives back home, but I appreciate you coming and staying. From what I hear, you've saved my life. Thank you both for everything you've done."
Both doctors were happy to shake his hand and enthusiastically assured that they were thrilled to see him recovering and knew given time he could regain something of his life from before. He was scarred for life on his chest and the minor scars in his hair, but he was alive and he would eventually resume active duty. "The doctors here have our contact information to keep us updated on the rest of your recovery and you've got our phone numbers so give us a call if you have any questions."
They left for their flight home while Peter assisted his wife in the discharge paperwork. When they finished, a wheelchair was retrieved and Peter was on his way out the doors.
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