Amusingly enough, one of my college courses had a class session recently on emotional intelligence and control, and I discussed this fic because I didn't a single concern other than this fic at that time. I was literally talking about the logistics and asexual insecurities of writing enemy hatesex fanfiction over a Zoom meeting with other future teachers and they were all giving me encouragement and ideas and taking the conversation very seriously. It was a weird moment of personal meeting professional.
Anyway, you have them to thank for this last chapter ending up the way it did, because I've never written smut before and I never would've without their encouragement. Possibly never will again? It's an area of weakness, and therefore something to be corrected, but I just can't make my brain make the words go. My salute to anyone who writes just absolute filth on the regular, because that is NOT something I am capable of.
Vatican City, Rome, Italy, 1999 CE:
Come here, into my arms.
"The darkness over there is bitter."
You are a flickering illusion.
Finally, we shall become eternal.
"The darkness over here is sweet."
I pierce deep into you.
The world faded in again, and Alexander jerked awake with a gasp, heart pounding. His back was against the cold and wonderfully solid stone of the marble floor, and looking up, he saw the familiar breathtaking beauty of the Padua basilica's glass windows and domed ceiling. The hazy pink light filtering through them told him that it was dawn, and his soul drank in the warmth and the reality of that avidly, feeling the rock-solid steadiness and consistency of the world around him, so different than the dream-like visions.
Sitting up revealed that he had dried blood on his sleeve again, from the injury that had started all this, but all thoughts ground to a halt as he saw Alucard sitting up in a similar pose a few meters away. A quick flick of his eyes confirmed that they had been lying with the reliquary and no-longer-glowing relic roughly equidistant between them, but Alexander's attention was primarily arrested by the uncharacteristic deer-in-headlights look of the vampire as Alucard stared at him.
So much for hoping he wouldn't remember.
They both scrambled to their feet, instinct and habit conspiring to push them automatically towards fighting –but then they hesitated where they stood, Alucard's hands hovering vaguely in the direction of his guns, Alexander poised for an attack but not summoning his bayonets.
He swallowed and cleared his throat after a long, long moment.
"Do you-?"
"Yes." Alucard answered immediately. The vampire's expression was haunted, unsure: Alexander didn't feel much better.
There was another long silence as they stared at each other, searching for clarification neither could find. Alexander's eyes eventually wandered over to the relic, and his posture eased.
"We should –you should leave." he coughed, shifting awkwardly. "The relic isn't active anymore."
The corner of one of Alucard's eyes twitched.
"I know." he all but growled, making Alexander wince a little. Having as much of your soul bared to someone as Alucard just had couldn't be a comfortable experience.
His eyes moved to the windows and the faint glow behind them, searching for another topic.
"Its sunrise." Alexander commented, making the vampire go oddly still. "How long do you think we've been gone?"
Alucard's red eyes drifted shut, probably making contact with his Master or his fledgling, whichever was closest and easiest. His placid expression twitched a little, and he frowned before opening his eyes and looking at Alexander.
"Three days. My Master is apoplectic, and it seems like Maxwell isn't far behind."
Alexander sighed wearily and rubbed his forehead. At least the resulting hunger, thirst, and exhaustion hadn't all compiled, otherwise the resulting disorientation would've hit him like a sledgehammer the second he came out of the vision.
"We should definitely leave, then." he said, glancing back over at Alucard. The vampire nodded, and the faintest smile curved his mouth.
"I look forward to our next encounter." he said, before dissolving into a wisp of shadows, which quickly flickered elsewhere, no doubt chasing down his Master.
Alexander swallowed what definitely did not feel like disappointment and pulled out a bible to do the same, only this time in a flurry of holy wards.
Maxwell had indeed been verging on manic, and it took a long, long time for Alexander to calm him down enough to get his story out. A team was immediately dispatched to isolate and secure the relic, keeping it from any further attempts and to study the effects it had shown itself to have on him and the vampire. Alexander wished them luck and vehemently wished never to see that particular relic again: it had stirred too much confusion in him.
Presumably, Hellsing underwent a similar debriefing, and all too probably Alucard endured a similar piercingly-voiced lecture from his boss, berating him for his recklessness around a holy relic and the consequences that might've occurred if either of them had damaged it. Alexander endured his lecture in stoic silence, nodding glumly at all the right portions and trying to tug his mind back from persistent thoughts of the vampire and all the memories he had experienced. He went through his mission report and all the rest of it in a daze, unable to concentrate. He felt disconnected, out of step, like the visions had jarred something loose in him and he couldn't find the missing piece and put it back. He was a live wire, constantly buzzing, never at rest, and he couldn't find the switch to turn himself back off.
Alexander ate and slept at random when all the fuss was over, but that didn't help: even after a dreamless sleep so long and deep it left him groggy when he woke up again, he still felt restless and hazy. Eventually, he did what he always did when he found himself in turmoil: he looked to God.
It was evening again when Alexander stepped out of the orphanage, in his more casual priest's uniform of a black shirt and slacks. The breeze was warm and soft against his skin, and Alexander sighed happily: the summer air seemed to clear his mind a little, give him room to think. He enjoyed the gentle chirping of crickets and the scent from the mishmashed butterfly garden he and the children had planted earlier that year, walking slowly but purposefully towards the chapel. He wanted to think, and probably needed to pray, and these were the dead hours, when even the most squirrely child had long settled down and their caretakers were sleeping the sleep of the exhausted and fulfilled.
As glorious as the chapel was, it was also empty and private, a liminal space frozen in time, and Alexander needed that. He needed privacy and isolation as he thought.
The orphanage's chapel wasn't anything as large or ornate as some of the other structures in Rome, of course. Though they had ended up using the adjacent chapel built directly into the building, this structure had been made with children in mind, so there were no dramatic sculptures, no gilded moldings, nothing too expensive or intricate. The building was just large enough to house about fifty people in the two rows of pews, one on either side of the plain red carpeted aisle, and the pews themselves were long and low, of plain dark wood. Aside from the equally plain altar, the windows drew the most attention, a glorious rainbow of biblical scenes and abstract borders, which shone awe-inspiring pictograms of light during the day, but were slick and saturated by the blackness behind them at this time of night. Still, the rich red and blue, the flickers of yellow and green, the washed-out darkness of the clear pieces, it made an impressive sight even now, something that stilled and calmed him with its familiar beauty as he went around lighting candles.
The warm yellow glow was comfortable and familiar too, as familiar as the resinous scent of frankincense that he breathed in, letting it still his racing, errant thoughts, empty out his mind. As always, here he found peace.
Alexander left the bank of votive candles as they were in their red glass containers, glancing up to make sure that the tabernacle candle was still burning, even though the other orphanage staff checked in here frequently. It was, and that relaxed him a little more, so by the time he had finished lighting spare candles to the point of getting a comfortable glow, he felt almost centered, and more like himself than he had in days.
Kneeling before the altar, Alexander crossed himself reverently and closed his eyes, bowing his head as he began to pray. The familiar cadence of the words further helped to soothe his disordered mind, and he felt himself relaxing, the tension in his shoulders and around his temples finally easing. Finally in a place of ease, finally centered, he eventually allowed his foremost thoughts to drift upwards, occupying his mind, like he was shifting through flour looking for kernels of the truth.
First and foremost, Alucard. The vampire was haunting him, mentally if not physically. Alexander's feelings and his well-centered world had shifted and spun out of its axis, and he wasn't sure what to do about it, which was why he was here to begin with, kneeling in the forgotten sanctuary of the church and appealing to God. He needed resolution, and he couldn't find it on his own. The vampire would surely be delighted to know that Alexander's prayer was full of conflict, doubts and the words that they had shared in that hedge maze swirling in his mind.
Alexander had long ago resigned himself to the fact that he probably wouldn't see Heaven. Given what he did for a living, it was inevitable that the sins of murder and sadism would eventually corrupt him beyond salvation, and he had been, he was fine with that, because someone had to do it, and he was uniquely suited for the task. He had allowed the church to refine and hone him like a blade, an executioner's guillotine for God, making him even more suited for the task, and Alucard might've been right, damn him, in saying that Alexander had become so immersed in that life that it was no longer possible for him to leave it. He was stuck in a rut of his own making, trapped by the circumstances that he had created for himself nearly from birth, and Alexander found doubt plaguing him for the very first time.
He wasn't going to leave. That was obvious: he might fall far enough to think things about the vampire that no good Christian man should be thinking, but Alexander wasn't going to plunge so deep as to abandon his responsibilities and throw away everything he had done just because of one single moment of doubt. His will and resolution had been no small part of what had gotten him to where he was now in the first place.
But the problem was that if he couldn't leave –and he wouldn't– then he also couldn't return to how he had been. There were a lot of reasons to dislike Alucard –his irreverence, his arrogance, his perversity, that damned smirk– but now, fresh from the bewildering pattern of those visions, Alexander couldn't hate him anymore. That lack of hatred had ripped away something inside him, gutted him and scoured him out, and he wasn't sure how to handle what was rising up in its place.
Alexander sighed without opening his eyes, the sound quiet and melancholy in the empty room.
He wasn't sure when he had tipped over the edge. With the Count? Seeing Alucard move with the silken confidence Alexander was used to, combined with the unbridled power the vampire had never showed as his modern equivalent, that had certainly stirred something in him. Or maybe with the vampire beneath the Hellsing estate, when Alucard was blank and lost and all too pitiable. Even more galling, was it right at the beginning, as he realized what Alucard had been like as a human man, seeing the faith that cut too close to home for Alexander to ignore?
Maybe he had been attracted to Alucard since the beginning, and the constant barrage of visions had only broken down his resistance to the idea.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Alexander tensed as his eyes flew open. The question had been low and lazy, almost polite, but there was no escaping the familiarity of that voice even when it was devoid of its usual underlying mockery.
Turning around on his knees, Alexander saw that Alucard was sprawled carelessly over one of the front pews just behind him, red duster draped beneath his form, elbows hooked over the back of the pew and legs splayed outwards in a pose of ostentatious ease, head tilted slightly to the side as he watched Alexander. The warm amusement in his eyes made the priest swallow, hard.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, standing up as the vampire languidly raised his chin, following Alexander's movement with his eyes without otherwise stirring.
"It's unfair for you to know so much about me." Alucard said after a moment. The candlelight gleamed off his polished boots as he shifted to cross his legs, moving without a care for gravity or the physics of his own joints. It would've been somewhat chilling to anyone who wasn't used to dealing with vampires, but as it was, Alexander barely noticed the unearthly sight. He was more annoyed with himself for failing to notice the presence of the vampire when Alucard had been only a few meters away, though Alexander supposed that the vampire had to have kept at least a few tricks from him, even after all this.
"It's not like I meant to see it, and you weren't cooperating with me by remembering everything in time." he replied, folding his arms and glowering at the vampire. Alucard smirked.
"Well, it isn't as if that's hard to fix." he said, red eyes twinkling. "You'll just have to reciprocate."
Alexander blinked.
"What?"
"Bare your soul to me in return." Alucard said lazily, twirling one finger in a slow circle, shocking Alexander into a rare silence. "Your life has been much shorter than mine, so it'll be much easier and quicker to tell."
"You- you do know what that sounds like, right?" Alexander sputtered incredulously as he found his voice again, trying to ignore the subtle heat creeping up the back of his neck. It could be taken as gathering information so that they'd be on equal terms again, but it could also equally be taken as a desire for intimacy.
"Oh, I do." Alucard said with a grin. "I want to know the man who gave me comfort and challenge throughout all the myriad pieces of my life."
Alexander hastily unfolded his arms and took an automatic step back as Alucard stood, starting towards him.
"I want to get to know the paladin who would've crossed medieval Europe to fight at my side because of the strength of his faith." the vampire said, holding his eyes as he advanced and Alexander retreated, step by slow step. "I want to learn of the hunter who would climb a snow-covered peak and fight a vampire in his own castle without hesitation. I want to pick apart the rival who kept pace with me when I was unrestrained and at the height of my cunning. I want to understand the priest that would minister to a lost soul and give him hope. I want to debate the zealot that would defend and understand his perspective, both in regards to the living and the dead."
Alexander's heel hit the back of the altar, and he came to a tense stop as the vampire halted in front of me.
"I want to know the man that was worth five centuries of waiting." Alucard said quietly. He half-smiled and reached out, lazily trailing his fingers up Alexander's arm. "Perhaps the Jerusalem that I fought for was not a place, but a person."
It was so bloody like the vampire to wait until Alexander had finally found his bearings before yanking the metaphorical carpet out from underneath him. Alexander had just barely managed to come to terms with the fact that he had feelings for the vampire, however sinful and probably unrequited they might be, and then the bastard had to turn the tables on him completely with an admittance and an invitation that no one could mistake. Not even him.
"You were here to pray." Alucard said, eyes following the light, curious trace of his fingers as they slid up over Alexander's shoulder. "Did you think you could wipe away all that we shared with mere discipline and denial? My memories are stronger than that, Judas Priest, and so is the bond we formed within them. Prayer and penitence won't be able to sever that."
"You're trying to make it stronger." Alexander argued weakly, making Alucard grin.
"Does that disturb you? You're a priest, as you so adamantly insisted throughout all of this: if you believe in God, then you should believe in His plans." the vampire said confidently. "Two beings who complement each other as well as we do must be meant to be together."
Alexander could've said that that was just coincidence, but didn't. Some things were too big for coincidence: oh, he and Alucard could've both been men of faith in their human lifetimes, could both be enraptured by the thrill of battle, could be a thousand other facets of their personalities, but nothing would change the fact that nearly every facet in both of them had its mate in the other, an interlocking place or a mirrored shape. They fit together too well, had history that was too close for mere coincidence.
"You were touching a holy relic when all this started." Alucard said, probably sensing how he was weakening, how his already unsteady alignment was shifting further, inevitably out of control. "That was what created this bond. If it was created and fostered by holy power, it can't be as wrong as you think, now can it?"
Alexander knew exactly where this was going. How close Alucard was standing, the way he was looking at him –the vampire wanted, and like all things he wanted, he was relentless and insatiable in pursuing it. The priest could do what his faith demanded of him, what his training as a vampire hunter was screaming, what his own unease at pursuing and allowing this, for himself, was muttering to him.
He reached out and twisted his fingers in Alucard's cravat instead.
"You tell anyone about this, and I'll kill you." he said, tugging the vampire just the slightest bit closer as he tightened his grip. Kill wasn't really the right phrase –Alexander was inventive with words, sure, but there was no threat he could make that would encompass that kind of betrayal. But Alucard understood perfectly anyways, because of course he did.
"I know." he said smoothly, smiling, before leaning in. Alexander automatically tensed at that first contact as their lips pressed together, instincts warring within him –so much was wrong, Alucard was a man, he was cold, he was dead, he was a vampire…
But at the same time, it felt right, and he didn't have the nerve to try and pick apart why.
Contrary to what he would have expected –and not at all helping his shaky feelings– Alucard was slow, almost gentle with this initial kiss, drawing it out, letting him become accustomed. Alexander's nerves tore and frayed with every pounding heartbeat, wondering if he was supposed to do something, wondering if he would dare to do something if he was, and then Alucard's hand cupped fondly over his cheek and that was definitely not helping him think.
He tentatively pushed back, reciprocating, because, well, that was what you did with a kiss. Everything else was a tangled mess right now –feelings, emotions, sensations, instinct, training– but he knew that much at least, and he clung to it like a drowning man would a piece of driftwood. This he knew for sure, and Alexander liked to follow the sure and certain path whenever possible.
Alucard made a pleased sound, making him blush, but he didn't dare –didn't want, a tiny part of him admitted– to pull away from the vampire. This felt pleasant, and that in itself was almost terrifying. He didn't know how to deal with this feeling good, and perversely he sought comfort in the source of his unease, pressing harder into the vampire as Alucard moved to deepen the kiss at the same time.
Unexpectedly, Alucard's fangs cut into his lips with a brief pulse of pain, and his tongue flicked against Alucard's as they both automatically moved to lick the blood away, though for two different reasons. Alexander's face burned as he felt the vampire smirk against his mouth, bloodied lips moving to form hasty excuses.
Alucard didn't give him the time to form any.
The kiss became exponentially harder, hungrier within the space of a second, stealing the breath from him as Alucard's other hand moved to cup the other side of his face. Alucard was moving his lips in a way that kept his fangs from cutting Alexander again and he did not want to think about how the vampire knew how to do that. Feelings rushed through him, electrifying in his veins and pooling molten and new in the pit of his stomach, and he didn't know what to do with his own hands, only that he desperately wanted to do something.
Cautiously, tentatively, he moved them up to Alucard's shoulders, resting his hands there in a position that was oddly reminiscent of a fighting move –how easy it would be to shove the vampire away, Alexander suddenly thought, rip Alucard's mouth away from his own and send him staggering backwards at least a step or two in a brief moment of shock.
He didn't.
Alucard pulled away to give him a moment to breathe, smiling from a few inches away as his red eyes shimmered and glowed like rubies.
"You're taking this well." he hummed appreciatively, air ghosting over Alexander's lips. It was an odd sensation, and he shivered and swallowed, instinctively moving once again to swipe his tongue over his mouth. He didn't miss how Alucard's eyes briefly flicked down to follow the movement, either.
"Don't make me think about it." Alexander said, which as of this moment was true. There was a certain amount of soul-searching that would follow for almost every separate facet of the last few minutes, and taken all together they were more than enough to make the world realign subtly, irreversibly, in ways he couldn't track, like gravity had shifted underfoot. New rules were in play, and he didn't want to deal with those new rules, not them and definitely not the larger aspect of what they implied. Not here, not now.
It felt pleasant. He wanted to focus on that.
"As you like." Alucard purred, leaning in again. The kiss started where the last one had left off: hard, hungry, devouring, the vampire subtly nudging him to get a better angle or guide Alexander when it was obvious that he was out of his depth with the hands still cupping his face. Alexander's heart was pounding so hard and fast Alucard had to be able to feel it, and to his dismay it wasn't all due to fear and guilt.
He felt an odd sort of swirl against his fingers, a velvety tugging sensation like water being sucked down a drain, and then instead of indifferent red fabric he felt Alucard's skin, smooth and perfect. The sudden transition from indifferently room-temperature fabric to icy flesh was shocking, the more so because his nerves instinctively recognized the shape and texture of Alucard's shoulder and his mind insisted that it should be as warm as his own. Alucard's hands left his face, sliding down between them to tug gently at the buttons to Alexander's plain black shirt.
Alexander hated how affirming it was, realizing that the vampire had noted his preference for silent signals and communication and was keeping to them –however ironic the term was– religiously. Alucard accepted his need not to talk about this and met him halfway –it was fulfilling and it was vulnerable all at once, to understand and be understood so intimately. In any case, he understood what the vampire wanted, and didn't stop him as Alucard began to divest him as well.
Very quickly.
Alexander sucked in a startled breath and pulled away when Alucard had his shirt halfway off his shoulders and hanging open around his torso within seconds of his tacit acceptance, staring at him in shock as Alucard paused, looking at him attentively.
"How did you-"
"I've had a lot of practice undressing a human partner." Alucard answered with a wicked smirk, tugging on the shirt again as a blush burned across Alexander's face and he tentatively loosened his grip on Alucard's shoulders, allowing the vampire to slide it off completely.
Now with some space to look at things, Alexander noted again how odd it was to see Alucard without his enveloping clothing. The vampire always had some kind of cloak or cape dragging at his heels, as needlessly ominous as it was dramatic, and he looked both smaller and larger without it. There wasn't a single scar, freckle, or blemish on his naked torso, just a smooth pale expanse of unnaturally perfect skin, etched with the faint outline of muscles, and without thinking Alexander spread his hand over Alucard's chest, over his heart. The space beneath his palm was cold and still, and he was aware of the vampire watching him, silently. Alucard lifted a gloved hand of his own, placing it over Alexander's as his fingers moved in a gentle caress over the priest's.
"Was it like this when you woke up?" Alexander asked quietly.
"I wouldn't know." Alucard said, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards slightly. "I was without my head for the first few minutes, and by the time I reformed, I had an army to teach a lesson to."
"Is it odd?"
Alucard was silent for a long moment.
"I miss some of my old scars." he murmured eventually, with the sense that he was telling Alexander something that he had never told anyone. "I considered them memories of victories I had won."
The fingers of the vampire's free hand grazed up his ribs, marking an injury that only he could remember now.
"It was odd, having them gone in my old form."
"And in this one?" Alexander asked. Alucard's gaze flicked back up to him, and the vampire huffed, smiling again.
"You of all people know that this body has nothing to do with how I was in the past." Alucard chuckled, fingers stirring in another caress over Alexander's. "Besides, if you're going to ask me about my scars, its only fair that I ask about yours."
Alexander shivered as the vampire's cool touch glided across his cheek.
"It was a long time ago." he mumbled, distracted and not sure which terrifying intimacy he should turn to: physical or mental.
"I can imagine, since I've yet to find anything that can scar you past your regeneration." Alucard said dryly. "Even when Walter created the Jackal specifically for you."
"Don't talk about that now either." It was bad enough discussing intimacy when they were engaged in it –discussing outside matters, especially in their nebulous, bloody, and violent grey area between rivalry and something else, was beyond Alexander's capabilities at the moment.
"So, just don't talk at all?" Alucard asked, giving him a wry look. "I'm sure we can find an activity to accommodate that."
Alexander made an incoherent noise, jerking his hand away and going red.
"Oh, don't pretend you don't know exactly where this is going, Anderson." Alucard told him, hair starting to waver as shadows began to fill the room. Alexander watched them warily out of the corner of his eye, but it seemed like Alucard didn't intend to make them approach, instead content with filling the room from top to bottom, the shimmering black and red blocking out the saturated colors of the stained glass and the serviceable white of the plaster between said windows, crawling across the floor, creeping up the ceiling, blocking out everything but the two of them and the light from the candles. The shadows overwhelmed the holy sanctity of the church, leaving the two of them alone in their sin, and Alexander felt simultaneously reassured and even more nervous.
He felt a tug on his trousers and looked down, then jumped, face reddening further, as he saw shadows weaving through his belt and crawling over his shoes, loosening his clothing ever more quickly than the vampire could've managed on his own. When he looked at Alucard to complain, he was met with a fierce kiss, and instead of guiding him into the vampire took what he wanted, hands sliding over Alexander's body instead as he stiffened –in more ways than one– at that icy touch.
Too fast, he wanted to tell Alucard, too fast and too much all at once, but at the same time he knew if he said that then the vampire would stop, and Alexander didn't want him to stop, not completely. Despite knowing where this was going, despite feeling the vampire peel his clothes away from him, despite being flustered more badly than he had been in his entire life by the feeling of the vampire's nude body pressing against his, he didn't tell him to stop.
No, his protests were saved for when the vampire suddenly shifted, pushing him back hard, and Alexander both abruptly remembered and felt the fact that the altar was directly behind him as it caught under his legs and he was forced to fall back, one elbow jerking painfully against the wooden surface to keep himself from smacking into it in an uncontrolled fall as Alucard pulled back.
Then he realized exactly where he was and what the smug, excited look on Alucard's face meant, and panicked.
"No-"
Alexander surged upwards, only to be met by Alucard's hand against the flat of his chest as the vampire pushed him back down, back hitting the altar was he was pinned firmly against it. His cheeks burned red as shadows crept over his hands, sealing them in place and pinning him as firmly as steel shackles.
"Not here, Alucard!"
"What better place to take a lover before the eyes of God?" Alucard asked as he bent down, murmuring into the priest's ear. "Its not vows or a ceremony, but I think we can make do."
Alexander snorted with ill humor.
"Which of us is the bride in that macabre scenario?" he asked, not sure if he would like the answer. Alucard pulled back with a smirk, looking deep into Alexander's eyes as he extended his long, serpentine tongue and licked it wetly over one finger, implicit sensuality in every movement.
"I wonder." he said dryly as Alexander's blush deepened even further.
"What, exactly, are you going to do here, vampire?" he asked, trying to sound wary and not breathless.
"That depends." Alucard said, settling between Alexander's legs as the vampire's voice vibrated up through his knees and into every bone and muscle of his chest. Alucard tilted his head with a smirk. "What are you going to let me do?"
Alexander swallowed hard.
"Find out for yourself." he said tightly, which would've sounded a lot more like the threat he wanted it to be if not for their position.
"Are you sure you want to give me that kind of freedom?" Alucard purred, hands drifting over Alexander's bare chest, his touch slow, exploratory, exquisite, making the priest choke on a whine as his whole body flinched and pushed upwards. He was more achingly hard than he had ever been and he hated how Alucard could make him feel this way with just a few idle damned touches. "My past selves had a lot of ideas about what to do with you. I'll have to make sure to take my time to match their inventiveness."
"Sh-shut-"
He keened when the vampire's touch raced down his chest to wrap around his erection, giving it just a light squeeze. That alone was enough to make him writhe, precum dribbling down his length as he desperately fought the urge to thrust up wantonly against the vampire's hand.
"I wouldn't be so mouthy if I was in your situation, priest." Alucard said with a smug leer. "You're sensitive enough as to be untouched, and you know how much I enjoy virgins."
"Bite me and I put a bayonet through your fucking skull." Alexander wheezed, fingers tensing and curling under the heavy grip of the shadows, legs tensing as he tried to find purchase somewhere, anywhere that didn't have him pushing into that sinfully good touch. Alucard had left his legs free but that didn't mean much, not when the vampire was already wedged comfortably between his knees and clearly there to stay until he dragged something out of Alexander.
Alucard purred at that threat, leaning down to let his tongue trace over the crook of Alexander's neck and shoulder.
"So delightfully violent, as always." he murmured, nearly a moan as he moved downwards, tracing the line of Alexander's artery down over his clavicle. "Will you rip me apart as I tear into you, Anderson? Oh, let me feel every sensation you can bring to bear, my nemesis?!"
Alexander jerked upwards, biting his tender lips hard enough to make them bleed again, as Alucard's tongue swirled lasciviously around a nipple and his teeth soon followed. It felt better than anything that minor had a right to feel, and his breathless curses cracked and whined in the air as Alucard applied both hands and mouth thoroughly over the priest's body, drinking in every sound, every twitch, every heaving gasp with hooded red eyes and a pleased expression that hovered just on the sadistic side of fond.
Dimly, with the parts of him that could still think, Alexander knew that the vampire was still holding back, still pacing himself at least a little as he slathered his long, pointed tongue over his own fingers, getting them obscenely wet and shining in the wavering light of the candles all around before lowering his hand again. The vampire was hard, Alexander had seen it before he looked away to block out the sight of the inevitable. He wasn't ready to face that, not quite yet, and the vampire knew that, because if he went at the pace he was undoubtedly capable of, that Alucard clearly wanted to, he would've broken Alexander in half by now.
The thought was oddly arousing. Straining against each other as a violent exercise was fulfilling, so how much more so would it be as an intimacy…?
Alexander didn't have the wherewithal to tell Alucard to stop as one of those skilled hands moved between his thighs –on the contrary, he found them parting, and he closed his eyes tightly, panting gasps rasping at his throat as the pleasure subsumed him, dragged his mind apart and made him all too pliant for what the vampire wanted. There would be confessions for this later, confession and prayer and all too many whirling emotions bound up together, but for now, they were as intimately alone as they had been within the visions, as Alexander had been within the sanctuary, and he found that he didn't have the will or energy to maintain a façade around Alucard anymore. He wanted him, and they both knew it.
As ever, the two of them were too much alike.
All thoughts were forcefully ripped from Alexander's head as the vampire's exploratory fingers roamed over a certain special spot deep within him, and he didn't just keen, he shrieked, body moving before his mind as he jerked wantonly against Alucard, whimpering, please, God, it was the most intense pleasure he had ever felt in his life, he wanted more, needed more…
Alucard growled, low and primal, and he moved over Alexander like water, hands and shadows pushing and pulling at his knees, lifting them up, spreading him, and the vampire's teeth tore into Alexander's mouth in a harsh, fierce kiss, filling his mouth with the taste of death and his own blood. Alexander pushed back and found his hands free, the vampire's shadows likely occupied with his legs at this point, and his fingers dove into Alucard's hair as Alexander surged into the kiss, feeling the inky tendrils wind and tangle through his fingers with a life of their own.
Alucard shifted and multiple things clicked together at once, the purpose of the spit, those damned/blessed fingers that had pulled and stretched at him and touched him there, the position that Alucard had pulled and now held him in, and above all the feeling of the vampire's cock as it brushed against his ass. Alexander wasn't ready, but he was also far, far past backing out.
Alexander couldn't describe the noise he made against Alucard's tongue when the vampire penetrated him, only that he didn't want to describe it as another layer of red joined the deep blush painting his face and most of his chest.
It hurt. It felt good. It was new. It was perfect.
He wasn't sure what the hell he was supposed to do now, but Alucard solved that problem neatly by starting to move against him, and at that point Alexander wasn't capable of doing anything but obeying the impulses that surged through his body, moving back against the vampire with a wantonness he vaguely hoped he wouldn't remember later as Alucard slammed against him hard enough for bruises to bloom before fading all over his skin. Alucard's body was cold and dead, but everywhere he touched Alexander felt merely cool, even his tongue, even his cock, and nothing had ever felt so good.
Alucard's pace was fast, violent, almost merciless, and he frequently broke away to scrape his tongue or his teeth across the increasingly sensitive portions of Alexander's neck and chest, keeping barely within his unspoken promise not to bite as bruise-deep hickeys joined the fading marks on Alexander's skin. It was a disappointment that those were marks of intimacy that neither of them could share, as the steady and building pleasure slowly broke down Alexander's inhibitions enough to reciprocate that as well, brushing his lips over the unnatural chill of Alucard's flesh and hearing the vampire shudder and sigh in his ear, just a light exhale, but more than enough when Alexander knew that the vampire didn't need to breathe at all.
Then Alucard shifted and tugged up his knees a little, and Alexander's scream rang through the enclosed space as white-hot ecstasy seared up his spine and he felt his own seed land on his belly, slick and hot. Alucard purred at the sight, a purr that rippled down his entire form as his hair shifted and writhed, and he began to move at that new angle, even harder, plunging Alexander down into an abyss of pleasure and drowning him with the sensations it evoked. The word rapture lanced across his mind amidst the pulses of heat, and Alexander would've groaned at the irony if he had the breath or the coherency.
Blood joined the mess between them as they surged and moved together, dripping thickly down Alexander's chin and over his heaving bare chest as he and Alucard kissed frantically, sloppily, not caring about air –Alexander was the only one who needed to breathe– or Alucard's fangs as they cut into the priest's mouth and tongue again and again and again. Endorphins racing through his system, Alexander didn't have the ability to think or to care, and Alucard was receiving more than enough stimulation to leave the vampire in a similarly dazed, wanton state.
Blood and aggression shared between them –it was too familiar, too intimate, and Alexander was never going to be able to face the vampire in combat again without remembering this night.
"Come for me, priest." Alucard breathed harshly against his cut and swollen lips, thrusting against him furiously. "Come for me again, my beloved nemesis."
Something in him snapped upon hearing that, and Alexander's breathless curse became an incoherent scream as he obeyed and came, the aftermath shaking through him like the remnants of an earthquake as his nerves buzzed and tingled, arms clasped around the vampire's neck and fingers tearing into the sharp protrusions of his shoulderblades as Alucard continued to chase his own finish.
"Beautiful." Alucard murmured in tones reserved for worship, lips gliding over the line of Alexander's jaw. "My surprise, my Jerusalem. My Alexander Anderson."
Alexander nearly sobbed from the feeling of the vampire's cock dragging within him. "A-Alucard!"
"I will crawl into your soul and rip even the thought of anyone else away." Alucard growled harshly in his ear, starting to shudder as an edge of incoherency, even desperation began to creep into his own voice. "You are mine. You are mine."
"Yours!" Alexander choked willingly, unthinkingly, and there was probably a reason that the vampire snarled and came immediately afterwards, tensing, his body curling against Alexander's, pressing down heavily against his skin like Alucard wanted to push right through it.
They rode the aftermath out together like that, twisted together and entangled in ways Alexander couldn't even begin to pick apart, him shaky and sweating, gasping for air, Alucard locked against him like a statue, unwilling to be pushed back a single inch as he soaked in Alexander's warmth with half-lidded eyes, resting where he was draped against Alexander's chest.
Eventually, finally, after at least ten minutes, when his pulse and breathing had climbed back to manageable levels and he thought he could string more than a few syllables together, Alexander inhaled and looked at the vampire.
"This better not have been all you had in mind." he said as sharply as he was able, and Alucard smiled, fingers idly meandering down Alexander's chest. He tried not to shiver at the need that touch ignited in him.
"Oh, of course not." Alucard hummed lazily. "I've sated neither myself nor my curiosity, and I doubt you have either. We can save the rest for next time."
Alexander swallowed thickly and tried to remind himself that he had to sleep tonight, and more than that, people would come looking for him if he stayed here for that much longer.
"N-next time?" he asked, voice still a little shaky.
"You've yet to bare your soul in return." Alucard said, glancing up at him with a brief flicker of not-entirely-playful irritation. "And you probably have more questions about me. I propose a deal."
"A deal?"
"Whoever wins our next fight can ask a question about the other." Alucard said, before baring his fangs in a mocking smile. "In case you were feeling reluctant to face me in battle after this little tryst."
Alexander flushed and looked away, acutely aware of the mess on him and the vampire's length within him.
"I'm not that easily swayed." he mumbled, and sensed more than saw the vampire's smile turn fond, warm in a way he had never seen before.
"I know." Alucard said softly, those cold fingers brushing over Alexander's heart for a moment. "Believe me, I know."
Fin.
Candles:
The tabernacle is a fancy box/storage cupboard in Catholic churches, within which a particular church keeps its extra Eucharist wafers, and there's a large lit candle in a red glass holder next to it, which signifies the presence of Jesus. This large candle is never supposed to go out, which contrasts to the votive candles, which are usually kept on a display/bank/rack nearby. Also in a red glass container, usually, these candles are instead about the size of tea lights, and you light them when you're saying prayers or making a wish for a dead relative. Depending on the layout of the church, both of these things may or may not be kept in the actual chapel –the church I grew up going to was very large, and there was a tabernacle in the chapel proper, where they kept the Eucharist to be used during communion, and another tabernacle in a different room across the lobby from the church, which did have the rack of votive candles. However, another church I went to in Europe (I think Scotland or Ireland somewhere? This was like seven years ago.) had the votive candles right in the chapel, towards the back and in a slight alcove.