Dean sat watching Castiel's bare chest rise and fall. Sam had cleaned the wounds and dressed them so Cas now looked as if his torso was 60% cotton dressing. Sam also seemed to have cleaned off all of the black goo that had oozed from Cas' face. While sitting mere feet from the angel, Dean tried to mentally prepare for what he would say to him when he woke. His mind raced as he tried to grasp anything of use. He decided that the events of the day mixed with the whiskey he'd just downed had left him unable to come up with anything of value. He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair, rubbing his hand over his temples, elbow in the air. He was anxious. He was so damn anxious and he desperately didn't want Castiel to see that. His eyes still closed, he imagined a scenario in which he'd breach the last time they talked. "Hey..." he'd start by saying. No… That's ridiculous. Besides, He didn't want to bombard him. He wouldn't bring it up, he decided. He nodded to himself in annoyance and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. If Cas brings it up though. He sat back up straight as his chest grew warm. Dean avoided looking at the man in the bed. He sniffed and scratched his nose. He trained his eyes to Cas' chest again and bounced his leg while he licked his lips absentmindedly. If Cas does bring it up, Dean decided, I'll say something like- his stomach did a backflip, and he grit his teeth, unable to continue his thought experiment. Damn it, Cas. he thought, Why'd you have to… Dean sighed, finally looking at the angel's unmoving face. He wished he'd just wake up already so he could have this all over and done with. Years of them both dying and being brought back had made the whole concept of death seem more of an inconvenience to Dean now that he could see him in front of him again. Dean noticed that one of Castiel's shoes was missing and got up to take the other off. He gently pulled the brown leather shoe off the angel's black woolen-sock-clad foot and placed it against the concrete floor at his feet. He absentmindedly scratched his face as he then found himself worrying because it was cold in the infirmary, maybe that one shoe had been the thing keeping him warm. He hastily left the room and walked down the hallway. He jogged down the stairs and through the halls, to Cas' bedroom where he fumbled to retrieve his blanket as quickly as possible. He ran back up the stairs two at a time, while he attempted to fold the brown blanket. He was maybe gone two minutes tops, he thought, as he turned the corner back into the infirmary.

Castiel was sitting upright in bed, pulling down what remained of his white tatted shirt as Dean entered. The two men stared at each other, stopping dead in their tracks. Dean's eyes frantically searched the angel's face while he stood there in the doorway, completely taken off guard. Cas stared at him silently, his blue eyes not revealing a single thought, exposing nothing to Dean as to where he should begin.

"You're awake," Dean said, stating the obvious, completely dumbfounded. Castiel nodded slowly and stiffly. Dean very hesitantly walked toward the bed in a daze. "Got you this." He said, presenting the blanket at Cas' feet. He internally cursed himself as he reminded himself of Miracle returning a ball when the two of them played fetch.

"Thank you." Cas took the blanket and placed it over himself, his face remained completely void of any emotion. "I'd hoped you were turning in for the night, so I could leave," Cas said, now avoiding eye contact. "...I didn't want things to be awkward". Dean was taken aback. He raised his eyebrows, and while finally accepting the reality before him and leaving his daze, closed the small space between the end of the bed where he stood, to the chair, before plonking himself down. Castiel looked at him cautiously and inquisitively.

"So..." Dean squinted and straightened his legs out between them, his feet under the bed, lining up with Cas' thighs, "how long were you lying there pretending to be asleep?" He asked, tilting his head. Cas' eyes finally reached Dean's.

"Dean..." He began, trailing off. Dean shook his head incredulously, realizing Cas wouldn't continue, he sighed.

"You look like you just went ten rounds with Jaws, by the way." Castiel's mouth tightened but he remained silent. Dean nodded to himself and let out a single humorless chuckle. "the one thing I want... it's something I know I can't have." Dean considered these words while he sat there staring at his best friend, his brow low as his eyes searched for any hidden communication from the angel that would suddenly make things clear; that would tell him this was all a huge misunderstanding. Dean opened his mouth to speak before coming up empty and closing it again. Cas simply sat there avoiding eye contact, his brows furrowed as he stole glances every now and again, then tore his eyes away awkwardly.

"I told you-"

"Cas-" Both finally decided to break the silence, the men ended up speaking over each other then suddenly, barring a dreary chuckle from Dean, they were quiet again. Cas went back to averting his gaze as he audibly swallowed. "You go," Dean said, slowly blinking at him.

"Oh, um, I was just going to say… I told you it would be awkward". Suddenly, Dean found himself moving to sit on the edge of the bed. The whole cot rose around him as he sat, his body turned towards Castiel. The angel looked dejected as he sighed. The closeness seemed to have the effect of an emotional beating. He all but physically curled in on himself like an abused animal, waiting for another blow. Dean's stomach and chest ached at the sight of him. He took in every inch of Cas' face trying severely to find the words to form a sentence. One perfect sentence to explain everything he'd been through over the last six months; everything he'd thought and felt since he'd last set his eyes on his best friend.

Cas looked up again for a moment and the pair's eyes met. Dean's breath caught. Before he knew what he was doing; before he had time to stop himself, he placed one hand upon the bed and the other cradled the side of Castiel's face, and leaned himself over the injured angel, bringing his face up to Cas' and gently pressing his lips upon Castiel's. Dean's heart burned for a moment and heat ran through his body, then just as suddenly, he caught himself and pulled away awkwardly. He turned, eyes wide, and absentmindedly licked his lips. He stared at the chair in shock, refusing to meet Cas' eyes. Castiel saw his own shock mirrored on Dean's face and sat there for a moment trying to speak. His mind was racing, trying to understand. Dean, very slowly and methodically, rose up from the bed to leave without a word but Castiel leaned forward and caught his hand. The pain from his wounds jarred him into reality as he began to comprehend what had just happened.

"Wait, Dean" he croaked. His other hand pressed to a particularly large gash in his stomach. Dean swallowed and very hesitantly turned back to face Castiel, fear plastered on his face. Cas pulled Dean's arm back toward the bed. He followed obediently and sat back down, his eyes searching Castiel's face wildly. Castiel winced pulling himself up toward Dean and gingerly placed a small and gentle kiss upon his lips. The two stared at each other as Castiel slowly and carefully lay back against the pillows behind him. Dean took a deep breath in. He shook his head completely perplexed. His eyes ran over Cas as if he was trying to commit this moment to memory, in case it was all just a dream. He maneuvered himself with one knee on the bed and gently cradled Cas' cheek in his hand, before placing his lips on Cas' again, more certain this time. Dean's body came alive as the two kissed, their mouths moving together. After a time, Cas' lips became thinner as he smiled, causing Dean to break into a smile of his own. They both continued to press their mouths together kissing each other's smiles before eventually giving up. Cas laughed as he pulled away and Dean chuckled, his eyes crinkling. He shook his head, amazed, before finally realizing he had found the words that were there all along.

"I love you, too, man". He stated confidently, beaming.