"Most people carry that pain around inside them their whole lives, until they kill the pain by other means, or until it kills them. But you, my friends, you found another way: a way to use the pain. To burn it as fuel, for light and warmth. You have learned to break the world that has tried to break you."

~Lev Grossman

...

Mitomi sits on her bed with her legs crossed under the covers. Eyes closed, contemplating. She wondered how far away from another bijuu did Kurama have to be to yell at them… Could he get a message to B? She'd include Gaara if she didn't think the Ichibi would abuse the information or torture Gaara somehow. She needed to fix his seal… Would the chunin exams even happen now?

Mitomi doesn't know if she cares. There are bigger fish to fry.

Kurama? She calls out to him hesitantly.. He hadn't wanted her to interfere.. He was probably mad at her.

I am not mad at you child.

Well, that was reassuring at least. She offers him an apology anyway. I'm sorry.. I couldn't let.. Mitomi falters as she lets her words hang there, unfinished.

I know. B is too far for me to reach my brother.

I see.. Have you talked to your other half yet? Mitomi didn't know if he could, she wasn't a hundred percent sure how it worked. She'd never tried to talk to Naruto's Kurama.. Yang Kurama was not nearly as approachable as her Yin Kurama was or had been.

He is ignoring me. Well that's very rude..

Incoming.

Mitomi opened her eyes and the door opened to reveal Naruto and Shikamaru with Inoichi. She tried really hard not to glare at Inoichi. "Good afternoon Mito-chan I brought you some visitors today!" He cheered excitedly with a knowing look in his stupid pupilless eyes.

She ignored him and waved at the other two children. "Hey guys! How was school today?" Because this was a safe enough topic she assumed and she could focus most of her attention on Naruto instead of Shikamaru.

Why was Inoichi doing this to her? Oh right.. He thought he was helping. It was going to be a tedious visit she could just tell.

…

"Shikamaru is going to notice that you are intentionally ignoring him." Shikaku informs her later that evening, he's set up a shogi board on her bed and is kindly going over the rules with her. She remembers them but she hasn't played in over ten years so the refresher is nice.

"Did Inoichi-sama tell you his suspicions on why I graduated early?" She asks instead while making her first move. Shikaku considers for a minute but nods.

"He did. But that doesn't change the fact that Shikamru will notice if you intentionally ignore him." She groaned, rubbing her hands over her face.

"Shikaku-sama, the Shikamaru from my memories was my best friend, my person, he was the first person to actually see me. I loved him with my entire being and I held him in my arms as he died. I can't look at your son and not see my Shika's dead face." She drops her hands in her lap and watches Shikaku make his next move. He doesn't say anything to that, pensive and contemplative.

Mitomi considers her next move. "What are your plans for ROOT? Have you told the Hokage anything yet?" Her room was sealed for privacy, even the stupid all see orb the Hokage had couldn't see in herre. She made sure.

Shikaku scratches his chin watching as she places her next piece. "I wrote a letter to Jiraiya to see if his spy network knew anything about the organization and Inoichi did a mind-walk on your shishou to verify your claims so we have outside proof of ROOTs dubious deeds than just you. So far I believe it unwise to bring the situation to the Sandaime's attention." She nods at that, it seemed reasonable. Mitomi smiled to herself looking down at the board to hide it.

"In my first life I had to blackmail the Godaime to do anything about it, it was really annoying. I cried." Because she had been so angry, so filled with hate and rage. So disassociated from the reality around her. Mitomi shook her head, she wasn't that person anymore.

"How old were you then?" He asks, curious. How long had it taken her before?

"I was fifteen. I let an S-rank threat escape from the village… I hadn't cared. I willingly subjected myself to a mindwalk then because I knew it would be the fastest way to verify my accusations. Even after Inochi-sama confirmed them, the Godaime still didn't want to trust me…" Mitomi trails off, eyes drifting to stare out the window. Shikaku doesn't comment on the tear forming in her eyes, the lost expression taking over her face.

"I was so broken then… Life hadn't been kind to me or Naruto… I was so filled with rage and desperation.. I was lost. I went about it the wrong way believing that I knew best, but I was a child throwing a tantrum. I acted too late and I got to watch everything I cared about destroyed…. I couldn't do it again… I don't want to lose everything and everyone.. I can't…" Tears gather and fall, she doesn't sob or cry. This time. The tears just run down her cheeks and she doesn't even blink them away. Shikaku sets the shogi board aside and reaches for the small child.

He usually wasn't an affectionate person, it wasn't his thing but it felt like the right thing to do. Shikaku gives her a hug. She lets him, digging her small hands into the fabric of his shirt, burying her face in his flack jacket. He waits until she pulls away to let go, Inoichi had read him the riot act on comforting children a thousand times by now, he knew they needed to make the first move.

When she pulls away she brings her knees up to her chest and just sits there holding herself together. He smirks at her. "You play shogi just like Shikamaru." They don't speak about her current emotional state or anything revolving the reincarnation again. But she does seem to have an epiphany as she face palms and groans.

No wonder she'd never been able to beat him.

…

Inoichi visits her often during her stay at psych, they have lots of discussions and even mind walks. The door begins to close. Mitomi feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders, like she can actually breathe for once. She is happy to leave when the time's come.

She still has to come for regular check ups with Shion in regards to her other problem but it's not that big of a deal. Not like they were going to let her take missions outside of the village right now anyway. So she's stuck on guard duty, not at the main gate with the comic relief duo but at a different gate with one of her shishou's squad mates.

Gekko Hayate.

He looks tireder than she feels. They bond over their shared health problems. Despite the nine year age gap she thinks they're probably friends at this point. Hayate drinks the coffee she brings and doesn't check it for poison so they were at least past the mere acquaintance stage.

She hopes.

Guard duty is boring in or out of the village. She hates it. "Chin up at least you aren't stuck with Kotetsu and Izumo, they never shut up." Hayate gives her a pat on the head which she is certain he knows she hates, Mitomi glares at him.

"They have their quirks, but the main gate is fun for people watching.. Which there isn't any of here because this is stupid back gate for jonin and spooky shadow people." Mitomi whines with the elegance of a ten year old. Hayate chuckles at her.

"Spooky shadow people eh?" She ignores his tone and decides if she's stuck here for the next couple hours she might as well be productive.

Time for seal work. Her favorite.

Hayate reads a book about kenjutsu and she starts a new seal. Maybe she could figure out how to make the bijuu shared mindscape connect over longer distances. It's inconvenient to have to try to get within a certain distance of the other jinchurikis. B-sama was nice but she didn't want to be anywhere near Gaara until she could fix his seal.. Again..

"If you glare at the paper any harder it might catch fire." She snorts at Hayate's sarcastic comment.

"My nature is water, I doubt I can catch it on fire." He snickers, they trade banter for the rest of their shift.

She was going to have to make sure he didn't get himself killed, wasn't she. What a drag.

"Hey Mito-chan, do you want to learn kenjutsu?" Mitomi gaped at him … because what?

"Um… I know nothing about kenjutsu." Is the only response she can manage because what… Swordplay had never been something she'd been interested in learning.

But.. it would be something different than before and maybe that was a good thing.

"Sure why not, it doesn't hurt to learn something new." Better over prepared the under in her book. And she needed to be prepared for whatever shitstorm was coming now.

…

Her guard duty ends after the academy lets out and Hayate shows her some katas to start practicing to prepare for learning kenjutsu, so she is not surprised to find Naruto has already left school by the time she gets there. Iruka who is still there notices her and kindly points her in the direction of the Nara compound.

"Shikamaru said something about his mom inviting him to dinner so he left with them." Mitomi nods her thanks before leaving and heading that way. Yoshino-san probably wouldn't mind if she dropped in, and Shikamaru would probably try to get her to play shogi with him again.

She'd almost beat him the second time they played after her game with Shikaku. Apparently she played like Shikamaru… so she couldn't beat him.

Mitomi was going to have to figure out how to play like herself, she guessed.

Yoshino greets her with a very pretty and kind smile when she arrives. Honestly, it's not fair how kind and pretty this woman is. Shikamaru should have been a lot nicer to his mother, she had put with so much of their shit over the years. God send.. Really she was. Mitomi respected the hell out of Nara Yoshino.

It helped too that the woman had never cared about their status as jinchuriki either.

"I wondered when you'd show up, how was guard duty?" Mitomi groans at the thought of it as she slips off her shoes. She couldn't wait until she was considered old enough for the ninja version of heels, she missed the extra height they gave her.

"Boring, I may poison Hayate's coffee tomorrow. Apparently he has decided I am worthy enough to learn kenjutsu from him, I'm so freaking sore." Yoshino smiles at her instead of laughing which Mitomi is grateful for.

"I can help you with kenjutsu katas if you like Mito-chan. I think I remember a few of the Uzumaki ones from when Kushina was learning them." Mitomi perks up at that.

She didn't know her mother used kenjustu. Thats cool. "Thank you for the offer Yoshino-san, I really appreciate it." Yoshino laughs and waves her off.

"None of that Yoshino is just fine Mito-chan, now go one to the backyard I'm sure the boys will be happy to see you."

XOXOX

Mitomi is going to learn kenjutsu! Which she's never done before so it's going to be hella interesting.

Thank you for reading!

~LaRae