Hey hey hey! It's faaaat Albert! (Just kidding, it's the annoying author) I'm making a Christmas special! Merry Christmas from all of the fandoms!

Percy's super Christmas spirit POV: No author, go do the villains POV, I'm in the middle of a cheeseburger eating contest.

Emperor Palp's groovalicious POV: Yay! I'm in a POV! If I didn't kill my mom she might've been proud of me! Anyways, I was at the long white table for our villains evil annual meeting. Chaos called dibs on black, so we couldn't use it.

"Yes, but how the hell do we counter supernatural demigods?" Jeanine Mathews asked.

"Send in some Death eaters!" Voldemort said in his high, cold, annoying voice.

"Peacekeepers won't do the job." President Snow said. Ha! He was a puny president and I was a emperor!

"What if I just sing to them?" Justin Bieber asked, in his annoying shrilly voice. "I've been working on a new song! It's christmassy, and completely original! Laaast Christmas, I gave you my heaaaaarttt!"

"That.. could work!" I said, while groovily wiggling to the refreshments table.

"I agree, but first let's drink five hundred gallons of eggnog then spin around for no apparent reason!" Loki wiggled toward the randomly placed Jar marked 'humongous jar of eggnog'.

"Withdraw all forces from the battlefield." I commanded.

Annabeth's slutty POV: "Look Annabeth! The enemy is retreating!" Chiron stomped his hooves. The big house was decorated with lights and Christmas music was playing from the radio. Suddenly, an explosion destroyed the door.

"Ahhhh! If it's someone named Liz I don't live here!" Chiron cowered away.

"I'm scared Harry-Poo! Hold me!" I threw my arms around Harry, who was heroically shaking in fear.

"Oi mate. Where is Han Solo?" A dude with cool armor and a jetpack walked in and pointed a blaster at Harry.

"He's joined Chaos' army! I swear!" Harry yelped, while waving his hands in truthfulness.

"Ok mate, but if your wrong I'm going to shoot your balls off." The dude rocketed away on his jetpack.

"Spectacles testicles wallet and watch!" Harry said, while touching each of these things. "Please don't make him return!"

"Wow Harry! You're so brave!" I said.

Percy's dank POV: Man, I was full, the cheeseburger contest hadn't gone well. My opponent was called Fat Bastard, which I assumed was a nickname, until I saw him.

"Army! My dudes! Who wants a baby! Hagrid's baby delivery service has a holiday discount!" Chaos boomed. I wish he would stop booming.

"I want a baby! Give me a big one!" Fat Bastard said in his Scottish accent.

Nobody else replied, but I thought about it, and wanted a mini Percy around.

"I want a baby that looks just like me!" I announced.

"Wow, ok. I'll text him right now. He only takes about five minutes." Chaos boomed some more, "didn't expect you to want one, but Fat Bastard is a regular customer." I had no idea what he was rambling about.

"Wow, Percy! You are brave enough to try a baby! And one that looks just like you!" Peetah said. "That's kinda weird, but who am I to judge, one time I tried to choke my girlfriend!"

"Not gonna judge, Percy. I'm gonna go eat yogurt and rice cakes, then I'll do yoga for an hour." Luke said.

I wondered what was so weird about it, but I didn't get far, as a very loud motor sound filled the air.

"That's Hagrid. C'mon Percy, we should meet him on the balcony." Chaos boomed. We walked over to the huge platform. "Fat Bastard will get his baby in a doggy bag, he's too wide to fit through the balcony door."

A flying motorcycle zoomed right above the obsidian black balcony. A large, hairy man was in the cycle. He got out and handed me a baby shaped lumpy brown package. He handed a similar package to Chaos.

"Might'a sa' on it a few times, bu' it shoul' taste alright." The man said.

"Wait! How can the baby breathe?" I asked him.

"Hahahah! Nice one! Im' headin' outta here now. Don't tell the authorities you seen me." Hagrid said, as he got in his motorcycle.

I was revolted at the disgusting package, and decided to never open it.

"Is this a real baby?" I asked Chaos.

"You asked for it, dude."

"Oi mate! Where's Han Solo?" A dude in sweet armor and a jetpack asked us, landing right in front of us on his jetpack.

"Han Solo doesn't live here. Now get out." Chaos boomed.

"Ok, ok. Boy, I'm going to shoot that kid in the balls!" He yelled, as he jetpacked away.

A/N: pretty groovy, right? Happy holidays, peeps. Review or I'll send the puggle!