Chapter 15: Geneva (or not)

Sunday, December 29

Maura shivered as she buried herself deeper into Jane's embrace, pulling the covers up to her chin. She was freezing, and she wish the fire was going, but she was too tired to get out of bed. Instead, she pulled Jane impossibly closer, trying to take in some of her body heat.

"Maur," she heard Jane say, but she sounded really far away. Maura groaned in response. "Maura," Jane's voice called again. Maura wondered why Jane sounded so far away when she was pressed up against her. A violent shiver ran through her body, and she felt Jane pull her closer, her hand rubbing up and down Maura's back. Jane tried to pull away slightly, but Maura whimpered in response, refusing to let go of Jane's warm body.

"Maura, are you awake?" Jane asked softly. Maura nodded against her chest but still didn't lift her head. "Are you okay?" Maura didn't answer, instead she redoubled her grip on Jane. "Maur, sweetie, I think you have a fever."

"No," Maura whined. "I'm just cold." Maura knew she wasn't just cold, but she wasn't willing to admit that she was sick yet. "We're supposed to go to Geneva," she whispered.

"I know, love, but I think you're sick," Jane said gently. "You're really hot, and you're all clammy, but you're shivering."

"My head hurts," Maura admitted. "Will you turn on the shower for me? I'll feel better after my shower, and then we can go."

Jane laughed lightly and Maura felt the rumble in Jane's chest against her cheek. "I don't think we can go to Geneva today, love," she said, "but I do think a shower will help. How about this, why don't you stay in bed while I go tell your mom. I'm sure she can help us cancel or reschedule everything. I'll bring you some hot water and tea. Then, you can shower, and I'll change the sheets while you're in the shower."

"I want to have a romantic weekend in Geneva with you," Maura mumbled into Jane's chest, still making no effort to move away or get out of bed.

"I do, too, and we'll figure something out, but right now, you need to stay in bed and get better," Jane said.

Maura nodded in acquiescence. As much as she wanted to go to Geneva, she wasn't sure she had enough energy to walk to the bathroom, let alone travel to another city. Her head was hurting, and she was congested. It felt like someone had stuffed her ears, nose, and throat with cotton. Her throat burned painfully whenever she swallowed. Her whole body ached as though she were recovering from running a marathon.

Jane placed a light kiss on Maura's head before climbing out of bed. She pulled the blanket from the couch and added it to the blankets covering Maura. She also went to the fireplace and added a fire starter, which she lit before leaving. It would take a while for the fire to give off enough heat to help Maura, but Jane figured it was a good idea to start it now.

Jane pulled a sweatshirt over her head, glancing back at the lump that was Maura in the middle of their bed before exiting the room.

Jane hoped that Constance would be in the family dining room. She figured if Constance or Arthur weren't there, then at least someone could help her find them.

Constance was sitting at the table with a newspaper and coffee. When Jane walked in, she looked up. "Good morning, Jane," she greeted with a smile.

"Good morning, Constance," she replied, sitting down across from her.

"Would you like breakfast?" Constance asked as she waved over William.

"No, thank you," she said. Addressing William, she asked, "Could I get coffee with cream, though?"

"What time are you and Maura planning on leaving today?" Constance asked.

"Actually, that's why I came down here," Jane said. "Normally, I wouldn't come to your dining room in my pajamas," she added with a laugh. "Maura's sick."

Constance sat up straighter, trying to read Jane's demeanor. "Is she okay?"

Jane nodded. "Yes, well, no," she stuttered. "I mean, I think it's just the flu, so I guess she's not okay in that way, but I don't think it's anything more serious than that. But, um, I don't think we should go to Geneva. I was wondering…"

"Of course, don't worry about anything," Constance inserted quickly, knowing what Jane was going to ask.

"Thank you," Jane said, offering a small smile.

William returned with her coffee. After thanking him, she asked, "Can I get tea and honey to bring back to our room with extra hot and room temperature water?"

"Of course, ma'am," he replied. "Is there anything else I can bring?"

"Um, I don't know if you're the right person to ask, but do you have ibuprofen or acetaminophen?"

"I will bring both," he replied. "And I will make sure you have enough for the next day or two."

"Thank you," Jane replied.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Constance asked.

"I don't think so," Jane said. "Well, I was going to change the sheets changed while she showers. Can you tell me where to find extra sheets?"

Constance laughed. "Honestly, I don't know where we keep the sheets, but I can find someone to come change the sheets for you," she admitted.

"I don't mind doing it," Jane said.

"I know, but it's something someone else can do while you take care of Maura."

"Is it weird to ask if they can come while Maura's in the shower? I mean, I'll make sure they don't go in the bathroom or anything."

"When you go back to your room, why don't you text me about 5-10 minutes before you want someone to come change the sheets?"

"Okay, thanks," Jane said.

William returned with the tea. Placing the tray in front of Jane, he explained, "I brought a large carafe of hot water, as well as a large carafe of coffee. These will stay hot for 4-8 hours and will keep warm even longer. This is cream; it will stay cold in this container for about 8 hours. There are also a variety of tea bags, sugar, honey, and some crackers. I know Dr. Isles probably won't feel like eating, but if you can get her to eat a few crackers, it will keep the medications from irritating her stomach. Although, the honey will help, too. I've included ibuprofen, acetaminophen, nasal spray, and lozenges to soother her throat and cough, if she has one."

"Oh, wow, thank you," Jane said, surprised at how thorough he was.

"If you need anything throughout the day, call this number," he added pointing to a card on the tray with a phone number. "This will ring directly to me. I will make sure you get whatever you need. Please don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you so much," Jane replied.

"Thank you, William," Constance said warmly. Turning to Jane, she said, "Please don't hesitate to contact me any time throughout the day as well."

"Thanks," Jane said as she stood up and picked up the tray. "I'll text you a little before we want the sheets changed. And thank you for helping with Geneva. It's such a wonderful gift, but I don't want Maura to…"

"I know, Jane," Constance assured her. "Please don't worry about it. When Maura is feeling better, we will figure it out. I will take care of everything else."

"Thanks," Jane said as she left the room.

When Jane got back to their room, she managed to open the door without dropping the tray. She set the tray on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed. She reached out to move the blankets to find Maura's face. Maura had fallen back asleep, so she didn't want to wake her. She brushed the hair matted to Maura's face away, smoothing it back out of the way. She let her fingers stroke Maura's cheek gently while she watched her sleep. She hated seeing Maura not feeling well, but she couldn't believe how beautiful she looked even with a fever.

Maura shifted. "Jane?" she whispered without opening her eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Jane said quietly.

"S'okay," Maura mumbled. "Throat hurts."

"Do you think you can sit up?" Jane asked. "I brought you tea and some medication."

"T'ink so," she responded. Jane ran her hand across Maura's forehead before she turned to make the tea. She chose an herbal tea that she knew Maura liked but didn't have caffeine.

Maura slowly sat up and leaned against the headboard, groaning as her body resisted every movement.

"Here," Jane said, handing Maura the ibuprofen and a cup of room temperature water. "Take this first. It should help with the pain and the fever. We'll alternate between ibuprofen and acetaminophen."

Maura smiled. "You listen to me," she said.

Jane laughed. "Yeah, sometimes," she admitted. Once Maura had taken the pills, Jane took the glass back and handed Maura her tea. "I put honey in it. I know you prefer your tea without sugar, but you need something in your stomach, so the meds don't bother you. It'll also help your throat, I think. I have crackers, too, if you want that, but you don't seem like you're up to eating anything right now."

Maura shook her head but groaned in pain when the movement caused the pressure to increase in her head.

"Hey, try not to move so much," Jane whispered, reaching up to brush against Maura's cheek.

"Can you take this?" Maura asked, holding out the tea. She had barely had any, but Jane took it from her, nonetheless. "I feel gross," Maura whined.

"I'm going to go start the shower. I'll let it steam up the bathroom for a bit, first."

"T'anks," Maura muttered as her eyes closed.

Jane placed a soft kiss on Maura's burning forehead as she stood up. She turned the shower on its hottest setting, closing the bathroom door to keep the steam in. While she waited for it to heat up, she stoked the fire. After a few minutes, she went back to the bathroom and turned down the shower, so that it wouldn't burn Maura when she got in. Once she was satisfied with the temperature, she returned to the bedroom. She sent a quick text to Constance letting her know that it would be a good time to have the sheets changed in about ten minutes.

Sitting back down next to Maura, Jane stroked her face until Maura opened her eyes again. "Think you're up for a shower?" she asked.

"Kay," Maura said. Jane moved so that Maura could get out of bed. Maura made it to the bathroom on her own volition, but Jane could tell she was losing energy quickly.

When they got in the bathroom, Jane suggested, "Um, I think I should help you. Why don't you use the bathroom while I go get a change of clothes for both of us? Then, I'll help you in the shower."

Maura nodded, sitting down on the toilet without caring whether or not Jane had left the bathroom yet.

When Jane returned, Maura was still sitting on the toilet. "Are you okay?" Jane asked.

"I'm done. I was just waiting for you."

Jane put the clothes on the sink before turning to Maura. She lifted her shirt that was damp with sweat over her head before removing her pants from around her ankles. Before she had Maura stand up, she stripped her own clothes off and pulled her hair into a ponytail.

"Come on," Jane said gently. Maura melted at the care she heard in Jane's voice. Jane helped Maura into the shower before stepping in behind her. She turned Maura around so that the water ran over her entire body. Maura followed Jane's silent directions telegraphed through the gentle movements of her hands, but otherwise, she didn't really participate in the shower. Jane washed Maura's hair, letting the shower stream down on her chest while she did so. Normally, she would have a hard time focusing with the view of water dripping down Maura's beautiful breasts, but right now, Jane was so concerned about taking care of Maura that she barely noticed (she did notice though – she is only human).

Maura had never felt more loved or cared for. This isn't what she imagined the first time she and Jane showered together would be like, but she had to admit that it was nice. She'd showered with her significant others in the past, even with some of her casual lovers, but it had always been about shower sex, which Maura definitely enjoyed. This, though, this was about love, and Maura liked that a whole lot more. What was more, she didn't feel the vulnerability she would have expected in this kind of situation. In Jane's arms, she didn't feel weak for needing help, and she wasn't worried that Jane wouldn't find her sexy anymore after seeing her like this. She felt safe.

After soaping up and rinsing Maura from head to toe, Jane turned off the shower. She wrapped a towel around Maura, making sure to dry her completely before she got a towel for herself.

Jane got both of them dressed and brushed Maura's hair, but she didn't think it was a good idea for a sick Maura to get in bed with wet hair. "Sit on the toilet," Jane suggested, making sure the lid was down. "I'm going to dry your hair."

Maura sat down while Jane plugged in the hair dryer. "Just a warning, I'm not going to be able to do this anything like you normally do your hair," Jane admitted.

Maura smiled. "I don't care," she said honestly. "It will just feel better dry."

"That's what I figured. It didn't seem like a good idea to get in bed with wet hair while sick."

"Probably not," Maura replied. They didn't talk while Jane dried her hair. When she was done, she had to laugh – more at herself than at Maura, though. "Is it that bad?" Maura asked when she heard Jane laugh. She was seated facing away from the mirror to allow the cord of the hair dryer to better reach her.

"No, of course not," Jane said with a smile. "I don't think there's anything I could do that would make you any less beautiful." Maura rolled her eyes but smiled, nonetheless. "I was laughing because I couldn't figure out what was different at first; then, I realized that I parted your hair on the wrong side since I'm left-handed."

Jane put the hair dryer down and helped Maura stand. Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's body, pulling her into a hug, and laying her head on Jane's chest. Jane gave her a soft kiss on the head, and Maura hummed in response.

"Are you feeling any better?" Jane asked quietly.

"Yes, I still feel terrible, but I do feel better than when I woke up. Thank you."

"Let's get you back to bed," Jane replied.

Maura nodded and let go of Jane, allowing her to guide Maura back to bed. Maura got back in bed and leaned against the headboard. Jane sat on the side of the bed, and asked Maura, "Do you think you can drink a little more tea? I think you need more fluids."

Maura nodded and took the mug from Jane. "Thank you," she said again, locking eyes with Jane.

Jane smiled softly. "It's just tea," she deflected.

"No, it's not," Maura replied. "Thank you for taking such good care of me."

"You do the same for me."

Maura smiled. "You can't just take a compliment, can you?"

"No," Jane said with a laugh.

"I'm sorry about Geneva," Maura said sadly.

"It's okay. We'll have plenty of chances to take trips. What matters is that you get healthy."

Maura nodded and forced herself to finish the cup of tea. Handing the mug back to Jane, she thanked her again before sliding down into the bed, so that she was lying flat.

"Will you lay with me?" Maura asked, her voice laced with vulnerability.

How could Jane say no to that, even if she wanted to, which she didn't? She climbed under the covers and wrapped her arms around Maura. Her stomach instantly grumbled in protest. "Oh, you should go eat," Maura said, pulling her head away from Jane's chest.

"I know. I will," Jane replied. "I'll stay until you fall asleep; then, I'll go get something to eat. Is there anything you want me to bring you?"

"No," Maura replied. They laid there in silence for a few minutes; Maura enjoying the feeling of Jane's hand rubbing comfortingly up and down her back. "I'm being selfish," she mumbled after a while.

"What? Jane asked. She had actually thought Maura was falling asleep, so she was surprised both by the fact that she was awake but also by her comment. Maura was the least selfish person she knew.

"I'm going to get you sick," Maura said into Jane's chest. "You shouldn't be this close to me, but all I want to do is hold onto you."

Jane smiled and hugged Maura tighter. "Love, we've been kissing and having sex for a few days now and we've been sharing a bed for nearly a week. Whatever you have, I've already been exposed. Besides, I want to be by you."

Maura nodded and Jane felt her grip loosen, indicating that she was finally falling asleep. Jane ran her fingers through Maura's hair as she slept against Jane's chest. When her stomach grumbled again, Jane reluctantly extracted herself from underneath Maura. She made sure Maura was tucked in and that the water and meds were within reach. She placed a soft kiss on Maura's forehead before leaving the room.

When Jane was sitting in the family dining room, she rubbed her eyes with her hands. She hadn't realized until that moment that she hadn't brushed her teeth or freshened up other than changing her cloths after she helped Maura shower.

Jane jumped when she heard Constance call her name.

"Sorry," she said with a smile. "I was lost in thought."

"Would it be okay if I had lunch with you?" Constance asked.

Jane nodded. "Of course," she said. "Sorry, I'm still a mess, though."

Constance shook her head as she sat across from Jane. "Please don't worry about it. Even if Maura wasn't sick, we couldn't care less if you come down in your pajamas or sweats and bedhead."

Jane raised her eyebrow, unable to hide her skepticism.

Constance laughed. "I know you don't believe me, and to be fair, I wouldn't have said that a few years ago. Over the past few years, I've started to reconsider many of my long-held beliefs. I was raised under the tenant that children are to be seen but not heard."

Jane laughed. "God, you would have hated my family."

But Constance shook her head. "No, I wouldn't have hated your family. However, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I would have judged your family. From the outside, I would have just seen kids who didn't listen to their parents or kids who weren't perfect representations of their family's reputation."

Jane was surprised at Constance's candor. She wanted to say something, but she wanted to here where Constance was going with this more.

"It's how I was raised, and it's how we raised Maura. What I should have seen is kids who were happy and kids who knew how loved and cherished they were. I would give almost anything to be able to go back and do it again, to give her the childhood she deserves. I want her to have memories from her childhood like you gave all the kids last week, playing in the snow with them. I'm so incredibly proud of Maura, and I would trade who she is or the life she has now for anything. I have so many happy memories of Maura's childhood, but in none of them is she laughing. I don't remember holding her since she was maybe three or four. After that, all I remember are polite emotionless hugs. As much as I wish I could say I had those memories, what I wish more was that Maura had those memories.

"Anyway, what I care about now is that Maura is happy and loved. I want her to feel comfortable when she comes home, and I want her family to feel comfortable here. That's you, by the way."

Jane smiled at Constance before turning to the door to see William walking in with a tray of food. She was surprised when he placed a burger and fries in front of her along with a milkshake, diet coke, and water."

"I hope it wasn't too forward of me to order lunch for you, but Maura had told me that cheeseburgers are your favorite. You're too polite to ever order it on your own, though."

"I literally don't think anyone has ever called me 'too polite,' but thank you," Jane said.

"Our first meal together was burgers and milkshakes," Constance reminisced.

"It was actually our second meal together, but it was a good one," Jane said with a smile as she dug into her food.

"Oh, you are correct," Constance admitted. "I forgot about that horrible first meal."

"Don't say that to Maura," Jane said quickly.

Constance shook her head. "No, I didn't mean it that way," she said quickly. "Everything Maura and you and your mother did was beautiful. It was horrible because I was so rude."

"Yeah, I'm not going to argue with you," Jane teased.

"I hate how I acted that night, but I'm also grateful," Constance said. "You confronting me at the art installation…that made all the difference."

"I just want what's best for Maura. She deserves it."

"I know you do, and you're right, she does deserve it."

Their conversation moved to lighter topics as lunch progressed.

"I should go check on Maura," Jane said as she excused herself. "And probably take a shower."

"Okay, please let me know if you need anything," Constance told her.

"Thanks," Jane replied.

Jane let herself back into their room as quietly as possible, hoping not to wake Maura. Her silence wasn't necessary though. As soon as she walked in, she saw Maura's eyes were open as she looked at Jane from under the covers.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Jane said quietly, sitting on the side of the bed next to Maura, running her hand through Maura's hair. Maura's eyes fluttered at the touch.

"I'm okay," Maura said. "I just took some acetaminophen. Did you get lunch?"

"Yeah, I had lunch with your mom. Can I get you anything? Did you need something while I was gone?"

"No," Maura said, coughing into her elbow. "I'm fine. Thank you, though."

"Okay," Jane whispered, still stroking Maura's hair.

"You don't have to sit with me all day," Maura said quietly. "You should go watch a movie or do something. You could even go to town."

Jane laughed lightly. "I already told you, I want to be here with you. I can find something to do if you'd like some peace and quiet, but don't worry about me. Just worry about getting better."

"I don't want you to go," Maura admitted.

"Then, I'm not going anywhere," Jane replied. "Would it be okay if I showered and freshened up? I realized at lunch that I still haven't brushed my teeth. Then, I'll lay with you. I can read while you sleep."

"That sounds nice," Maura said. "I'm going to try to sit up for a little bit while you're in the shower. Maybe it will help my sinuses drain."

"Gross," Jane teased, scrunching her nose.

Maura giggled and pushed herself up to lean against the headboard.

Jane poured another mug of hot water for tea. "Try to drink this tea while I'm gone okay?"

Maura nodded. "Go shower. I'm okay," Maura said as she took the tea from Jane.

"Okay," Jane said.

After her shower, Jane grabbed her book and crawled into bed next to Maura. She pulled Maura against her side so that she could rest her head on Jane's chest and drape her arm across Jane's waist. Jane wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulder, holding her book with the other hand. Her fingers continued to move through Maura's soft hair as she slept. Every once in a while, Jane would place a soft kiss on Maura's head.

Maura was able to fall into a deep sleep once she was laying on Jane. A combination of the comfort Jane provided and the little bit her body was propped up making it easier for her to relax and breath. It was dark by the time Maura woke again. She was slightly disoriented as she realized that a knock on their bedroom door had awoken her.

Jane immediately noticed that Maura was awake. "Here, take some more medicine," she said handing Maura the pills and water she clearly had already gotten ready for her. "I'll get the door." Maura sat up against the headboard to take the pills, trying to drink as much water as possible despite the pain in her throat.

Jane opened the door to find Constance standing in the hall. "Hi Constance," Jane greeted.

"Hello, Jane," Constance replied. "I just wanted to check in to see how Maura's doing."

Maura, who could hear the conversation from the bed, was surprised and touched that her mother had come to check on her. Since she knew Jane had talked to her, she hadn't expected her mother to stop by at all. "Shcacomn," Maura tried to call from the bed, but it came out completely unintelligible, causing a confused look to cross Constance's face.

Jane laughed. "She said you could come in," she translated.

"Oh, thank you," Constance said, laughing at Jane's ability to understand Maura. Constance followed Jane into the room. Jane stood off to the side to allow Constance to stand next to the bed.

"How are you feeling, darling?" Constance asked, her voice full of care and concern.

"A bit better than this morning," Maura answered honestly. "Jane's been taking good care of me," she added with a smile in Jane's direction.

"I know she is," Constance said. "Is there anything I can get you? Either of you?" she added, turning to Jane, as well.

Maura chewed on her bottom lip. She had never asked her parents for what she really wanted but maybe she could start. "Would you…well, um…have you eaten dinner?" she asked.

"No, I wanted to make sure you had everything you needed first. Can I bring you something?"

Maura glanced at Jane, who smiled encouragingly at her. "I was hoping maybe the three of us could eat in here," Maura said nervously.

"Of course," Constance answered quickly, clearly pleased that Maura wanted her there too. "Just let me go tell your father, and then I can…"

"Oh, you should eat with father," Maura said just as quickly. "I didn't mean to…"

But Constance shook her head and waved away Maura's concerns. "He'll be fine. Like I was saying, I'll just tell him that I'll be in here. Then, I'll stop by the kitchen and ask them to bring dinner up here."

Maura smiled. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"Any requests?" Constance asked both of them.

"No, I'm fine with anything," Jane said.

"Something soft," Maura added.

"Okay, I'll be back soon." Constance let herself out of the room with a smile. She was touched that Maura had asked her to have dinner with them.

Jane sat down on the bed next to Maura and pulled her into a side hug. "I'm proud of you," she said quietly into her hair as she left a kiss there.

"Thanks," Maura said, knowing that Jane was referring to her asking her mother for what she needed. "I should use the bathroom before she comes back," Maura said after a while.

When Constance returned, Maura and Jane had moved to the couch, Maura with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. "The food should be here quickly," she told Maura and Jane.

Jane and Constance made quiet small talk while they waited. Maura stayed quiet, leaning against Jane's side. She was just enjoying the closeness and the fact that both Jane and her mother were here with her, taking care of her.

When the food arrived, Jane started to stand to get the door, but Constance stopped her. "I'll get it," she told Jane. "You stay here with Maura."

"Okay, thanks," Jane replied.

Constance came back pushing a drink cart full of plates and beverages. She made sure to give Maura her chicken noodle soup first before she handed Jane her salad and chicken marsala.

After they were finished eating, the three of them continued to talk and enjoy each other's company. Even though she felt terrible, Maura didn't want the evening to end. However, it was getting more and more difficult to stay awake. Finally, she ended up falling asleep against Jane's shoulder. It was Constance who noticed first.

"I think maybe we should get Maura to bed," she whispered to Jane. Jane smiled at how cute Maura looked, her face smushed against Jane's shoulder, and her mouth partly open.

"Yeah, I think you're right," Jane said softly. Jane stroked her finger along Maura's cheek. "Maura," she whispered. "Maur…"

Constance marveled at the love that Jane showed in just the simple act of waking Maura up to get her to bed. It seemed to come so naturally for Jane. Constance felt a pang of jealousy, but mostly she felt a surge of affection and gratefulness for Jane.

Maura stirred after Jane called her name a few more times. She lifted herself off of Jane groggily. "Ssrryyy," she mumbled to no one in particular.

Constance stood from the couch, loading all of their empty dishes onto the cart. She leaned down to kiss Maura's forehead before she left. "I hope you feel better soon, darling. Good night." Turning to Jane, she told her, "Good night, Jane."

Jane stood from the couch, giving Constance a hug. "Good night, Constance. Thanks for bringing dinner."

Once Constance had left with the cart, Jane turned to Maura who was still sitting in a daze on the couch. "Love, are you ready for bed?" she asked gently as she reached down to help Maura stand.

Maura nodded in response.

"Why don't you go to the bathroom and brush your teeth," Jane told her. "I'll straighten the bedsheets."

Maura returned a few minutes later, dragging her feet uncharacteristically as she walked, her arms crossed in front of her chest as she tried to stay warm without the blanket that had been her constant accessory all day. Maura climbed into her spot in bed, but before she could lay down Jane stopped her. "Here, before you lay down, take some more medicine," she said as she handed Maura the pills and water. Maura silently took the pills before laying down.

Jane kissed Maura's forehead as she lifted the covers up to her chin. She then laid the blanket that Maura had had wrapped around her on top of Maura. "I'll be right back. I'm just going to brush my teeth and wash my face," Jane told her.

"You don't have to get in bed now," Maura said, unconvincingly. "It's too early for you to go to bed."

"I'm alright. I'll keep the lamp on and read some more. I'll be right back, okay?"

Maura nodded. Jane quickly used the bathroom and finished her bedtime routine before returning to Maura. Maura was still awake, turning away from Jane as she coughed. Jane climbed into bed next to Maura and pulled her back into their position from earlier. She could tell that something about the angle or having her head raised eased Maura's coughing and settled her breathing.

"I love you, Maura," Jane whispered into her hair, kissing Maura's head.

"Wub you too," Maura mumbled into Jane's chest. She fell asleep quickly, but Jane stayed up for a while. After reading, she turned out the light and curled around Maura, making sure to maintain Maura's position so that she could breathe and sleep better. She hated seeing Maura sick. All she wanted to do was make her feel better, but she was mostly felt helpless, only able to offer water and pills and a soft place to sleep. She had to admit that she did enjoy being able to hold and comfort Maura while she wasn't feeling well. They had always taken care of each other when one of them was sick, but there had always been some sort of hesitation, particularly in providing physical comfort. Jane knew that they were already a lot closer than most friends both physically and emotionally, but until they admitted their feelings, there was still something missing, something she had been unable to name. Now, though, Jane felt no hesitation about holding Maura close as she slept and recovered from her cold or flu.

"I love you so much, Maura," Jane said into the darkness, knowing Maura was asleep and wouldn't hear her. She fell asleep a while later, still holding Maura close.