"We'll go to school and then get married and start a family
And they'll go to school and then get married and start a family
The cycle continues
When we don't question what we're into

Girl's don't always sing about boys
Even though it's what sells and what's relatable
I mean, who doesn't wanna cry
To a song about getting your heart broke?
'Cause she'll sing all the words that you never spoke
Or couldn't"

Ego Ella May – "Girls Don't Always Sing About Boys"

The Texas Longhorn Saloon was a place that would overstimulate most people.

Kris's first night of work was spent shadowing Greg the head server. Despite the fact that Monday was supposed to be their slow night, she found it very busy with their loyal clientele. The space inside had some type of feng shui circular pattern to it. The moment people stepped inside they were persuaded to immediately check out the gift shop to the left, or even spend time in the video game room where there were shooting games with Zombie and Western themes as well as racecar and motorcycle games and an old school foosball table and an air hockey table.

Once customers were past the entrance, they were faced with the long busy bar that split the place in half. To the left were booth seating and round stationary tables with bar stools that overlooked the large dancefloor and stage. Continuing around the left side was the mechanical bull station and pool tables, and curving around past more booths and heading to the other side of the building were two arcade machine punching bags that were in a corner. Circling past the punching machines there was more booth seating across from the site kitchen and the manager's office. Flatscreen TVs proliferated throughout with installed cameras that recorded and broadcasted the dancing and whatever live acts that performed on the stage. All the senses were stimulated: sight, sound, taste, and touch. It was bright and loud and decorated with so much Black art and history. She was made to eat food items they sold from the kitchen so she would know what things tasted like. TLS specialized in finger foods only, so every food menu item was made to soak up liquor. Sliders—both BBQ pulled pork and beef. Street tacos. Small quesadillas. Homemade corn chips with salsa and guacamole. Boneless wings with seven different sauces. Fried pickles and fried tomatoes. Stuffed potato poppers. Deep-fried beer-battered onion rings. Riblets. Texas cheese fries. With or without carne asada.

Kris became full after an hour sampling everything, and once the place grew busier, she shadowed Greg taking table orders. She felt a little odd wearing her slacks and blouse, but the patrons paid her no mind. They were amused and entertained by Greg. The hospitality displayed by all the servers on shift her first night was impressive. They all had their various quirks and personalities and most had worked there for many years.

"Why did your last two servers quit?" Kris asked.

"Erin got married and moved to Arizona, and Pauletta just had a baby…with some complications so she quit to focus on her health."

Blue hired another young man that wouldn't start until Friday to give his previous job some notice. They were still on the hunt for a decent bouncer. During a break, Kris texted Jordan and told him to think about the bouncer position. She took time to thoroughly look over as many of the historic photos as she could before Greg passed her over to the bar so she could see where to grab ice-cold bottled beer and learn how to use the beer taps. It was a lot to memorize, but she was comfortable following everyone's lead.

She was surprised to discover there was an outdoor patio that was used mainly for cigar smokers. She saw a few people smoking regular cigarettes, but the strongest tobacco scent was from the thick brown rolls she saw a lot of Black men smoking near heat lamps. The hours ticked by relatively fast and by seven she was released. Erik didn't come in at all after his initial showing that morning. Greg allowed her to take home a doggy bag of pork sliders for Jordan and Brandy.

Her cousin was still lying on the couch when she came home, although she was facing a different direction. She had one less blanket wrapped around her in the summer evening warmth.

"How was it?" Brandy asked sitting up.

Kris handed her a small beige carton from the doggy bag.

"Good. I'll follow another waiter tomorrow for training and I think by Wednesday they will release me to the wild with just two tables of my own and another server watching me. The menu was easy to learn. I just have to get used to the cocktails they make there."

The door to her bedroom was still closed.

"Was he…?"

"Slept all day. I heard him on his laptop for a couple of hours around two, but that was it."

Kris kicked off her heels by the couch and walked to the bedroom door. Pressing an ear to it she heard nothing.

"Jordan?"

Stepping into the room, she could see her boyfriend curled in a ball on his side of the bed facing the door. He stirred when he heard her voice.

"Brought you something to eat," she said holding up the bag.

He sat up and she plopped down next to him.

"BBQ sliders. They're delish," she encouraged.

He turned on the standing lamp next to the bed and she could see the bags under his eyes. He wasn't resting well. She reached over and stroked his hair.

"Tough day?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the food."

He opened the bag and reached inside the carton pulling out a sauce-heavy slider. The bun was so soft she could see his fingers sinking down on it. He gobbled up all three within a few minutes and she handed him two wet naps from within the bag.

"I spent a few hours sending out more applications. Had a bad headache earlier."

His eyes dropped down to his chest.

"We'll be okay, baby. We have a roof over our heads and a bed to sleep in," she said.

Jordan nodded and tossed the used wet naps into the bag. He crumpled it up and held it in his hands.

"How was the new job?"

"It was actually fun. I was telling Brandy that the menu is easy. I just have to learn how to use the touchscreen registers faster with the entry codes and stuff. The staff is cool. I had to eat a lot of food."

"Those sliders were tasty."

"I know. I love their quesadillas and riblets."

Jordan leaned over and placed the crumpled bag on the nightstand.

"Did you see my text?"

Jordan reached for his cell and swiped it.

"They're still looking for a bouncer."

She expected him to blow it off, but his eyes softened.

"Is it full-time?"

"No, they need someone really for the nights they have live music. Less than thirty hours. The pay is really good, Jordan. We could save so much together. Think about it."

"I will."

"Don't take too long though."

She kissed his cheek and grabbed the bag.

Brandy met her in the kitchen as she rinsed her hands in the sink.

"Can you do a reading for me?" Brandy asked.

"For what?"

"A little speculation about my prospects."

"Did Erik call you?"

"He did."

The smirk on Brandy's face was almost lascivious.

"What did he say?"

"He asked me out."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I didn't answer him. Just let him leave a message on my voicemail. Can't be too eager. Giving him my number was just an opening to let him know I was interested. I'm not trying to be like that other chick at the bar."

"Which one?"

Brandy waved her hand at Kris.

"Can you do it for me?"

"Let me power down for a minute," Kris said.

She returned to her room and grabbed a change of clothes. Jordan was back under the covers and she hoped he could get some real rest now that he had food in his belly. His depression had him skipping meals and he was growing a bit thin.

A quick shower had her feeling as right as rain and she grabbed her deck of tarot cards from a built-in wall cabinet in the living room. She opened the deck and shuffled seventy-eight cards while she sat crisscrossed on the floor across from Brandy.

"Where's the incense and candles?" Brandy asked.

"That's for paying customers."

"I'll pay you."

"For you, I'll do twenty minutes for twenty-five dollars."

"Fine."

Kris placed the cards down on the slick tabletop and went into the same wall cabinet to retrieve a purple candle and a white candle that she anointed with divine oils and incantations of protection that she learned from her mother and Granny May. She palmed a small oval-shaped amethyst crystal and brought it to the table with the candles and a green lighter.

"I don't have any more incense."

Brandy's lip curled.

"The reading will still be accurate without it."

Kris removed her wristwatch and slipped it in her pocket and she made sure that Brandy turned off her cell phone that she kept near her hip. Lighting the candles, Kris took time to push all outside thoughts from her mind. Her eyes focused on the candlelight of the white candle and she became conscious of her breathing. When she felt that she was centered, she stared up at her cousin's eyes.

"What would you like to ask?"

"Is Erik worth my time?"

"Girl, I could tell you that for free."

"I'm serious, Kris. I would like clarification…some insight."

"Date him. Find out from real-world experience."

"I don't want to waste good energy if I can just take a shortcut."

Kris cleared the deck by shuffling it three times and cutting it three times. She re-ordered the cards facedown in three piles going for a simple three-card spread. Concentrating on the question, Kris visualized Erik Stevens in her brain. Good-looking. Cocky. Man-whore.

Brandy's eyes stared down at Kris's three piles.

Would they be a good fit? Could there be a love connection?

Kris thought of Erik and Brandy's interaction at the bar. It was flirty and full of the typical banter one would find with two people maneuvering to hook up. All surface, no substance. Opening up her spirit and her intuitive powers, Kris allowed her personal energy to expand and tap into the divine. Her grandmothers before her were roots women who could gather plant knowledge and mix oils, potions, and fix potent mojo bags for protection and strength. They could also shape external outcomes in the physical world through sheer will with true believers. Brandy wasn't so much a true believer as she was more an opportunist working for an upper hand with Kris's esoteric knowledge. Kris was the first in her family of Hoodoo women to use tarot cards. She found it was easier to hide the power behind perceived parlor tricks and entertainment than to allow people close to the real truth that often frightened them. Her family was gifted with a power that was handed down five generations. Granny May was a churchgoing woman and a sanctified member of Mount Vernon AME church for all of her seventy-five years and folks there knew that if Jesus couldn't get on the mainline right away for whatever reason, then Granny May could assist in special ways that the church folk didn't like to talk about openly. In the matters of love, health, finances, and everything else in between, there wasn't anything Granny May or Kris couldn't help fix.

Except for her own life.

Kris tampered down on the outside images of her own sorry lot in life at that moment. The focus was on Brandy now. She ran her fingers over the first card and turned it over. She did the same for the next one. And the next one.

Her eyes regarded each image, ignoring the initial story they tried to tell by going deeper.

The High Priestess.

The Chariot.

The World.

All three cards were reversed.

If it was love and romance Brandy wanted, Kris was not seeing it in the cards literally or feeling it in her gut.

"Is it bad? Be honest."

Kris glanced up at her face and gave a long sigh. She studied the cards again. It was better to cut to the quick.

"There's nothing here that I see that will center the both of you. Any connection you two have will not be fulfilling for either of you. Any romance you pursue will be forced…fake. He'll take you for granted. You'll do the same—"

"You're serious?"

"It's what I'm picking up. I don't see you being happy with him. If it's just fun that you want then I'd say go for it. But if you are looking for more than that. He's not the one for you. At least not now."

"So there is a possibility we could be something amazing?"

"There's always a possibility. There's a level of honesty that I'm not seeing for a positive love match."

"What about sex? Would we have great sex?"

"That'll cost you another twenty-five."

"Charlatan!"

Brandy threw another small couch pillow at her head. Kris ducked.

"Watch out for the candles!"

She blew them out before her cousin burned the house down.

"Goodnight," Kris said.

Brandy stood up and sauntered to her room still wrapped in blankets.

"I'll pay you in the morning," she mumbled closing her bedroom door.

Kris put away her cards and wares and meandered to her bedroom. Climbing into bed she snuggled up close to Jordan. They faced one another and she kissed his nose. He reached under his pillow and pulled out a nickel-sized rose quartz stone.

"What is this?" he asked.

"It's to help you sleep."

"I don't need your little trinkets. I have some melatonin gummies."

"Are they working?"

"Not really."

"What's the harm in using other things?"

"I know you mean well, Kris. I also know you're scared."

Kris pulled her left hand up to her chest.

"We won't be here long. I promise you that. I don't need your little magical crystals or your little bags of stuff jammed into my pockets. I'll find a job and I'll take care of you."

"You've been so down—"

"I know. I'll get through this. I have a friend from school that I touched bases with and he may be able to help me out with some money."

"A loan?"

"No. Some free-lance consulting for a city council race in Florida. I can do it from here online. He's running for office and needs help with his campaign."

"That's great!"

"Won't be a lot, but it's enough to cover us a few months longer."

He stuck the rose quartz back under his pillow and closed his eyes.

"Thank you for hanging in there with me," he whispered.

She nuzzled under his chin and ran her fingers along his arm.

"Jordan?"

His body trembled and she could feel cool drops of water on her forehead. Reaching up, she touched his cheeks with light fingertips. His tears fell faster.

"Honey," she murmured.

Her lips gave soft gentle pecks to his face, but she allowed him to release without trying to prevent the outpouring of emotion.

"I don't have anyone but you, Kris."

The lump in her throat felt tight and her eyes welled up.

"I'm always going to be here, Jordan. You and me against the world."

He wiped his eyes and pulled her in for a strong embrace.

###

Kris thought Tejano Tuesday was off the chain, but it was nothing compared to Friday night at TLS. The live five-piece band played zydeco and R & B classics, and with Nathaniel the DJ filling in the sets, the bar was rocking and rolling. It was the first time since starting that Kris felt that maybe she had bitten off more than she could chew. Just a little bit.

She was given three booths of her own to serve with a seasoned staff member named Shantel shadowing her. She had one slip up at the bar when she grabbed the wrong drinks and had to bring them back for a quick oopsie exchange. She dropped one tray of food leaving from the kitchen pick-up when she bumped into another server, but other than those two glitches she was trying her best to keep up with the pace.

Her new dark denim jeans felt tight jammed into the dark brown boots she purchased on sale at the Boot Barn. Brandy let her borrow her cowboy hat that looked better on Kris than it did her. She had to get used to some of the stares she got from men and a few women when they looked at the deep cleavage in her form-fitting V-neck work shirt. Her girls were showing out and Kris just sucked it up. The men at her tables ogled but they were leaving big tips, so she accepted the trade-off.

There were so many people pressed into TLS that she literally had to squeeze by people carefully each time she made a run to the bar or the kitchen. Her scalp was sweating from the cowboy hat, but she liked the two simple braids she put in her hair that rested on her shoulders.

She was returning a tray of empty cocktail glasses to the bar when she saw Greg staring at a customer posted up on one of the bar saddle seats. He had a frown on his face and he was talking to one of the female bartenders. The customer looked familiar.

"Kris. You're about to go on break. Do me a favor, can you run out and get Erik? His cousin is getting a little tanked and a bit surly."

"Where is he?"

The bartender, Kendra, leaned in toward her.

"He just got here. Someone said he was out in his truck still."

Greg looked pressed.

"Could you go check? If he's there, tell him to come get Biandro and then go on your break—"

"I can find my own goddamn cousin on my own. And I don't need him. Just serve me another shot!"

Biandro's slurred words didn't hide the belligerent attitude behind them.

"Be back," Kris said.

Threading through the crowd, she walked out of the bar and moved around the side to the employee parking. Her eyes found Erik's truck and the closer she walked to it, the louder she could hear music vibrating from within it. She tapped on the driver's side tinted glass window. Kris had to rap her knuckles on it a couple of times before he finally turned his music low and rolled the window down.

"Hey, Erik, Greg needs you at the bar. Your cousin is really drunk."

Erik's eyes took her in from head to toe as he looked down at her from the cab. His truck was massive. There was smeared bronze lipstick on his mouth. He wiped his lips when he saw her noticing it and Kris saw movement on the passenger side. A woman. The dancing queen from Sunday night. The one with the tattoo and daisy dukes. She was wiping her lips too.

Kris looked back at Erik and of course, his eyes were on her breasts. Typical.

"Your cousin?" she reiterated waving her hand at his face.

"I'll have to take his ass home," Erik said to the woman.

They both climbed out of the truck and followed Kris back.

"Damn girl, you bow-legged for real."

"So."

"I just didn't notice it before. Looks like you're riding a horse."

Kris glanced back at him as the woman swatted his arm.

"I'm just saying…an observation. It's more of a slight bowing—"

"Stop being rude," the woman quipped.

They returned to the thick of the action and Kris watched Erik stand near Biandro. Greg caught her eye and she nodded at him heading to the kitchen to order herself a quesadilla and some 7 Up for dinner. She grabbed her tray of food and drink and took it out to the patio that was not as dense with people. Everyone was into shaking their asses on the dance floor leaving a bit of peace and quiet for Kris as she nibbled away on three types of Mexican cheese and seasoned chicken in a warm soft flour tortilla.

"Get your hands off of me!"

Biandro burst through the patio door and Erik forced him to sit down on a chair. He handed his cousin bottled water.

"Sit out here until you sober up."

Erik sat down next to Biandro. Kris watched them as she ate her food. Trey the bouncer walked out to check on them and Erik gave him a hand signal that he was okay. Trey stepped back into the bar, but she could see him lingering by the door inside.

"A man can't have a few drinks?"

"You've had way more than a few, cuz."

A very pretty Black woman came outside and walked right up to Biandro.

"I called Caddo to come get you," the woman said.

"Selena, I don't need you to call anyone for me," Biandro said.

"This is Erik's business. You can't act a fool in front of his customers."

"I apologize. Alright? Y'all satisfied? I'm sorry. I'm going through some shit and just wanted to have some drinks—"

"Let's go," Selena said grabbing firmly onto Biandro's arm and helping him stand up.

Biandro stood and Selena held his hand.

"We all know you're in a lot of pain. But you need to get sloppy drunk at home, okay? We've all been there, Biandro. We love you and want to see you through this. C'mon…I got him Erik…"

Selena led Biandro back inside and he seemed calmer with the woman's guidance instead of Erik's. Kris sipped on her 7-Up and the straw she had made noise when she got down to the ice. Erik noticed her.

"Did we disturb your break?" he asked.

"No."

Erik stood and walked over to her table.

"Same ole shit, just a different day."

"What's wrong with him?"

"Heartbroken. It's going to take him a long time to get over it."

Erik's eyes took her in again, but not in a teasing way.

"You look good as a cowgirl. How's the job going so far?"

"Fine. Good. I'm getting the hang of things."

She glanced at her watch.

"Gotta get back to work," she said standing up with her tray.

"Alright then."

"Hope your cousin feels better."

"Me too."

Erik's eyes still held hers. It unnerved her a little bit.

"See ya," she said walking toward the door.

When she glanced back, he was still looking at her.