"You look so beautiful, Lily."

From beside her, Cait admired their two reflections in the mirror.

"I look quite beautiful, too," she added, as an after thought.

"You do," Lily agreed.

"If only I could do something with this hair…"

As Lily watched Cait try to tame her curls yet again, Lily couldn't help thinking wistfully that this is what having a sister should have been like. She and Petunia hadn't been close for many years now, despite Lily's best efforts. How fun something like this would have been, had things been different between them.

"I think it looks nice," Lily said.

Not for the first time, she wished she could tell Cait that she was from the future. It was a heavy secret to keep from a friend, but she had decided with James and Sirius that they shouldn't tell anyone. Time travelling magic hadn't been invented yet, and they didn't want them to think they had used powerful, dark magic to move through time. Who knew what these seemingly kind people would do to them then? Would they lock them away, to keep them from tampering with time? Would they kill them, for presumably using dark magic? No, it was better to keep this a secret.

Cait turned her gaze back to Lily, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"I'm sure a certain wizard will appreciate how you look tonight."

"I don't dress up for certain wizards," Lily said.

Cait smiled innocently. "No? You and James have been spending lots of time together."

"He's in the infirmary. I work there."

"You've made enough potions within the week to last a year-"

"I like making potions."

"-and you've stayed late every night to talk to him."

"He's been bored."

"So you're telling me you haven't been deliberately spending more time with James Potter?"

Flustered, Lily shot back, "You're one to talk. As if you haven't been taking Sirius with you for your own reasons. You don't need 'protection,' and you could ask anyone else, if you did."

Cait arched an eyebrow. "I don't think I'm his type," she said delicately.

"Why not?" Lily asked. "You're beautiful and accomplished and-"

Cait was shaking her head. "No, Lily, you misunderstand me. I don't think any woman is his type."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"I mean," Cait said patiently, "that his type is a certain messy-haired, bespectacled man."

Lily stared, and then she burst out laughing. "You're joking."

"I'm certainly not," Cait said.

"Believe me, I've seen Sirius Black flirt with too many women to be interested in men. He broke the heart of one of my friends, in fact…"

Lily trailed off. Now that she thought of it, the most she had ever seen Sirius do was flirt with women. In their seven years at Hogwarts together, he had dated several women, one of whom was Lily's friend, Marlene. None of those relationships had lasted, and none, as far as she knew, had gone beyond snogging. Lily had privately thought that Sirius was always just toying with those women. She had attributed his lack of real interest in his girlfriends to womanizing, because wasn't that just the sort of mean thing that Sirius Black would do?

On the other hand, Sirius had always been obsessed with James. Lily had always thought that this was due to a particularly strong bond of friendship. Now, thinking back, she realized that perhaps she had been missing some telltale signs. His hero-worshipping of James, his support of everything James did, his loud laughter at every joke James made, not to mention his following James around everywhere, his protectiveness… it was all adding up, and Lily was only stunned that she hadn't caught on earlier. Sirius Black had a major crush… on James.

"I haven't been taking Sirius with me for myself," Cait said. "I've been getting your competition out of the way."

"Do you think…" Lily swallowed hard, and tried to sound nonchalant. "Do you think James feels the same way about Sirius?"

Cait scoffed. "No. James Potter has eyes for only one person, and that's you."

Lily's mind was reeling. She'd always had the impression Sirius wasn't very fond of her. Was this part of the reason why?

"You like him, don't you?" Cait said. "James, I mean."

Lily hesitated. Every instinct she had rebelled against admitting any feelings for James Potter, the man who had bullied her friend, who had proven himself to be an arrogant jerk time and time again. But, she reminded herself, the James Potter she knew now was quite different from the James Potter she had known in school. This James fought for causes that didn't personally affect him, all because he saw that something was wrong with the world and meant to help fix it. He had followed her through the stones for some unknown reasons, and had stayed to help her. He had known loss; he had helped her through her own losses. By their final year of Hogwarts, he had become a person she couldn't help but like. Now, he had become someone that she may not be able to help but love.

The feeling had crept up on her, so strong that it scared her. Could she really admit her feelings, if saying it out loud would make it real?

"I do like him," she said. "Very much."

Saying it out loud was as scary as she thought… but it was hopeful, too.

"Then why don't you two get married?" asked Cait.

Just like that, the hope evaporated, leaving only terror.

"I just said I like him, not that I want to marry him!" Lily said.

"It makes sense to marry," Cait said. "You're a muggleborn. He's a pureblood. You know there's a loophole in the anti-muggleborn laws. If you marry him, you're safe. You won't have to hide anymore."

"I would never use him that way," Lily said flatly. "Marrying him for my protection is selfish, and why are we even talking about this? James and I aren't a couple, so why would we consider marriage?"

Cait grabbed her elbow and steered her towards the door. "It's just something to think about."

Determinedly, Lily pushed all thoughts of marriage from her mind. This became much easier when she reached the hall where they would eat, a room that reminded her of a smaller Hogwarts, with several long tables lined up across the room. It was an amazing sight. Magically suspended candles glimmered overhead, making the hall bright despite it having no windows. The light caught in the metallic goblets and plates that lined each tables, as well as in the jewels adorning many a witch and wizard, until the whole room seemed to shimmer.

Lily and Cait were among the last to arrive, and there was a steady roar of conversation as they approached their table. Witches and wizards nodded politely at them as they sat down, dressed in a wide variety of clothing. Many of the men wore kilts under their robes, and the women wore an assortment of the most beautiful dresses Lily had ever seen.

Lily took her seat beside Cait, across from James and Sirius.

When James looked up to see her, his eyes widened. Lily gave him a small smile, but to her surprise, he quickly looked away, his expression unreadable as he turned his attention back to Sirius. To her surprise, Sirius was somewhat friendly in that he acknowledged her existence, giving her a quick nod.

Before Lily had time to puzzle over this strangeness, the wizard to her other side began to speak to her, and so she turned her attention to him.

Now that Lily's attention was elsewhere, James found his gaze kept wandering back to her. It wasn't fair, he thought, for her to be so beautiful. He had rarely seen her hair up before, and he found he liked it; he could see more of her face this way.

Seeing her was even more painful than he had expected. He couldn't stop thinking about the past week, replaying each moment in his head obsessively. Every time he had thought she might have felt something for him, was it just her being too polite to reject him? Had she secretly been uncomfortable all along? The thought made him sick.

It had taken all of his courage to face her tonight, but he had resolved to go to apologize to her. If Lily couldn't love him, perhaps she would still be willing to be friends… or had their friendship been in his head as well?

She caught his eye and tilted her head in a silent question.

"You look really pretty, Evans," he said.

Immediately, he regretted his words. He was probably making her uncomfortable again.

But she didn't looked uncomfortable. Her eyes sparkled as she said, "Thank you."

James quickly dismissed this as wishful thinking, as seeing what he wanted to see. He knew Sirius wouldn't lie to him, especially about something as important to him as Lily's opinion of him.

Lily was certain something was off with James. She tried to watch him discreetly while talking to the wizard beside her, and the more she saw, the more convinced she was that something was wrong. He sat stiffly, and he was still pale, so Lily decided that he must be in pain.

She had decided that she was going to tell him that she had feelings for him. If he was in pain, it would have to wait until another day, but even knowing that she was going to tell him filled her with warmth. It was a delicious secret. And perhaps it was stupid to tell him when she had only just admitted it to herself, but tonight she was feeling brave, maybe even a little reckless.

Perhaps she could convince him to leave the party early, and perhaps she could go with him, and they could spend some time just the two of them. And they would talk, and maybe she would be brave enough to kiss him…

Her mind began to follow that path further, but Lily abruptly forced herself to stop thinking about that. He was sick. It wouldn't be right to try to make a move on him now.

She took a sip of wine, and tried to pay more attention to the wizard beside her, doing her best to pretend she hadn't just been lusting after James Potter.

The wizard was a tall, thin man with dark hair. He looked to be in his late twenties, Lily would guess, and he had introduced himself as Graham Ferguson, the son of the Fergusons who owned this castle.

Earlier in the week, Lily had met his parents, Duncan and Aoife. Duncan Ferguson was a portly man with a white beard. Despite him being the lord of the castle, Lily found it was hard to be properly intimidated him. Not only did he look a bit like an 18th-century Father Christmas, but he also had a warm demeanour that immediately put Lily at ease. When she first met him, he greeted her with a booming voice that made her jump, but his smile immediately made her think that he was all bark and no bite. His wife, Aoife, was stiff and formal by comparison, but Lily took a liking to her as well.

"Are you an only child?" Lily asked Graham, helping herself to some dinner.

"I have a younger brother and a younger sister," he said. "My sister, Anne, is sitting beside your friend—Mr. Potter, was it?—and my brother Brian is beside Cait…"

Cait was busily talking with Brian, with a familiarity that made Lily think they were good friends.

"So, are you enjoying my parents' charity?"

There was something odd in his voice that put Lily on edge.

"Yes, your parents have been very kind to us. We're extremely grateful."

"Yes," was all he said, but the word was filled with things unsaid.

Feeling uncomfortable, Lily concentrated on her dinner.

"I hear you're good at potions," he said. "I suppose it makes a certain amount of sense."

Lily blinked at him. "Sorry, why?"

"Well, it's sort of the closest-to-muggle magic there is. Not every potion requires a wand. It's cooking, more or less. Anyone can do it if they follow the recipe."

Lily felt heat rush to her cheeks.

"That's an odd perspective," she said, fighting hard to keep her voice even.

He quirked an eyebrow. "Is it?"

"Lily could make a better potion than you, any day," Cait said, before Lily could begin to reply.

Lily shot her a grateful look.

"But that's just what I'm saying," Graham said. "Of course she can. It's more in her nature than mine."

"Why?" James interrupted.

"Because muggleborns are less magical," he said. "Isn't that an established fact?"

"No," James said hotly. "I'll have you know Lily was almost top in every class."

Graham laughed. "Weren't you two homeschooled together? So by 'almost top,' do you mean second out of the two of you?"

"Leave her alone," Brian called from Cait's other side. "You're insulting our guests."

Graham nodded stiffly. "I apologize. I meant no disrespect."

Sure you didn't, Lily thought. But as she was stuck in this seat, all she could really do was hope that he left her alone. To her great relief, he turned to the wizard on his other side, and so Lily could turn to Sirius, Cait, and James. Only, Cait was talking to Brian again, and Sirius and James were talking to Graham's sister, Anne. Lily tried to insert herself into either conversation, but it looked like a lost cause. She turned back to her dinner.

Anne had red hair a few shades lighter than Lily's, and a smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks. She was a tall woman, almost as tall as James. Her dress was a deep purple.
And she had been flirting with James all evening, to the point where Sirius had gotten bored with the conversation and turned to the woman on his other side.

"I suppose you'll have scars after what you went through," Anne was currently saying. She leaned forward and whispered, "I've always found scars rather appealing on a man."

"Um… right."

His face felt a bit flushed, probably from the wine. He glanced at Lily, who was playing with the stem of her goblet, looking very alone. Then he turned back to Anne.

She was watching him thoughtfully. "You're a good friend to her, you know."

"I try to be."

"But you're not courting, or anything?"

James swallowed hard. "No. Definitely not."

Anne smiled. "Excellent. Well, I was going to go for a stroll around the room. Would you like to join me?"

James glanced at Lily again, and reminded himself that she didn't have feelings for him.

"Sure," he said.

They left the table, James ignoring Lily's querying look.

Anne led him to a small room off the hall, then into an alcove. She immediately pulled James close to her, pressing her lips against his. Even though he had known this had been her intention from the start, it still came as a surprise somehow. He closed his eyes and kissed her back, slowly and languidly. Despite his best efforts, his thoughts kept drifting back to Lily. He told himself he was kissing Anne to forget her, but in reality, all he could do was close his eyes and pretend that he was kissing Lily.

"Did you and James fight?" asked Cait as they left.

"No. He did seem odd, though, didn't he?"

As they walked, Lily thought sadly that the evening really hadn't turned out as planned. Between discriminatory comments and sad company, it had really been a rather terrible party. James was lucky he had escaped when he did, because Duncan and Aoife had come over to talk to Lily and Sirius afterwards, and it had been a long time before Lily could extricate herself.

They walked by an alcove, where a man and a woman were kissing, their hands all over each other, their tongues down each other's throats. Lily froze as she recognized them.

"James?"

They sprang apart. James's face was flushed, his lips red, his hair even more of a mess than usual.

"Lily. Um… hello."

She felt her own face grow hot, and her eyes began to sting.

"Sorry to interrupt."

James watched her walk away, a sinking feeling in his chest.

"She seemed upset," Anne said worriedly.

"She did…"

In fact, James realized, she had looked exactly like James had felt today when Sirius had told him that Lily had no romantic feelings for him.

"I'm going to kill Sirius."