chapter nine

My mom was downstairs when I was leaving for school. She made muffins, or at least, a company made muffins and she managed to put them in the oven correctly. She was sitting at the counter and watching me as I grabbed one for me and one for Quil. "No work today?" I asked. She was normally gone by now, and I couldn't say I was exactly happy to see her.

"Your dad and I are gonna be gone tonight," she replied, tone clipped and back upright straight. "We're going out with some friends on a fishing trip and we'll be back sometime tomorrow."

"Aw, well there goes the fun family evening I had planned," I pouted, and threw my backpack over my shoulder. Though my mother hadn't really said much to me since that fun little morning we spent together, she still did everything in her power to make it clear that she was still pissed off at me, and would not be tolerating anything I said or did. Which then, in turn, made me want nothing more than to push her buttons.

She didn't have any physical reaction to my words but said, "Make sure you give Quil one of those muffins. You don't need two."

I narrowed my eyes. "Don't worry. I know how important it is for Quil to know he's your favorite child. Have fun on your trip," I replied, and stomped out the door. It was a very pointed stomp, the kind of stomp three-year-old's do when they have a temper tantrum and can't get their anger out. I brought my knee up and slammed my foot into the ground and hoped my foot when straight through the water-damaged wooden floor. I was very good at acting like a brat.

And even though I was annoyed and started pinching my inner thighs while I sat outside and waited for Quil, I felt some sort of glee at the mere convenience that both of my parents would be gone all night the one time I've ever been invited to a party on my own. It was too easy, almost, but I wasn't going to think too deeply into it. I had been thinking about how I would get to Bobby Evans' party ever since she asked me to come. I didn't want to go because I was relishing in the idea of finally achieving a higher social standard and becoming a real-life teen dream, but because high school parties were the only environment in which it's socially acceptable for me to go absolutely bonkers, and maybe even do something reckless. Nothing could be better for me.

Because ever since Kim and I had out dramatic and overdone public breakup, my life had become really fucking boring. I no longer had any excuse to get balls-to-the-walls drunk and sing along to nineties R&B or recite true crime podcast, and my only company was Big Brother Quil and his disappointing sighs, and occasionally Embry, who acted in ways that made my head hurt. Bobby Evans may have been a bitch to almost everyone she saw for however many years, but from what I've heard about the parties she's thrown, she was a fun bitch who had a good stack of rum. I didn't know what the night would hold, but I knew that it wouldn't be me, holed up in my room, looking for big scary wolves.

Maybe if I had gotten any fresh leads, if my little pen pal had left me a new note, then I'd consider it. But there was nothing.

Quil's truck was loud and made his presence known before I could see him. I stood, and brushed off my legs as he pulled into the driveway. "Is one of those muffins for me?" he yelled from his window and smiled.

"They're both for you," I replied, and threw them in his window as I walked over to the passenger seat. "My mom said since she loves you twice as much as me, you get twice as many muffins." I hopped into the truck and slammed his door shut. "Plus she knows you eat like a monster from all the food you steal from our house."

He already had half a muffin in his mouth. "Pu' yo' sea-bel' on," he said, and swallowed. "And your mom doesn't love me more than you."

"Whatever," I grumbled, and didn't put my seat-belt on. "Do you wanna go to Bobby Evan's party with me tonight?"

Quil looked at me with a downturned mouth and furrowed eyebrows. "Aren't you grounded?"

"So what? My parents are gone for the whole night and that's basically a sign from whatever god that I should go. It's not like they're gonna find out or anything," and then I narrowed my eyes at him, "cause you're definitely not gonna fucking snitch, right?"

"No, Remy, I'm not gonna snitch," he said, rolling his eyes, "I'd rather you not break my legs."

"So are you gonna come or what?"

Quil twisted his mouth and hummed before he said, "I dunno Remy. Parties aren't really my scene. Plus I was supposed to hang out with Jacob tonight. Plus I don't really like Bobby Evans. Plus I don't want to."

"Those aren't very valid reasons," I mumbled under my breath, and sighed. "Look, I'm gonna go whether you go or not. So that just means I can go supervised, or I can go unsupervised," I said, and turned on the radio. Quil was listening to some bubblegum pop station and I flipped it on shuffle. I liked shuffle and never having to commit to one song. "It's up to you."

"Remy Cree, you are a master manipulator," he said with a groan. "Fine, I'll go. But we're leaving at midnight and you're not drinking any alcohol."

I snorted. "Sure, Quil." I looked out and watched the little houses go by. All of the houses here with rickety with chipped paint and wide lawns. Most were one story. I wondered what Bobby's house looked like.

And while the radio was switching between dad rock and club music, it landed briefly on the news. I normally wasn't intrigued by the news of the surrounding areas, as it was typically boring and had nothing to do with anything going on on the res, but when I heard the words, potential spree killer in Seattle, I sat up and kept it on this station on. "With the body count rising, authorities are questioning whether this is the work of a deadly serial killer, or a violent new gang."

Quil took his hand off the wheel and turned the radio off again. "Remy, it is too early in the morning for that depressing shit. Let's keep it light please."

"I hope that lady on the news was telling us that the deadly serial killer was on its way here and he tortures me to death because you didn't want to listen to the rest of the news and we couldn't escape."

"Me too."

I was getting used to be followed. I wasn't the most pleased with my new shadow, but I was getting used to it. So it was strange to step out of Quil's truck in the parking lot and have Embry not be there. I tried to mask my confusion, so Quil wouldn't say anything but he gave me this sort of look, like he was watching for some sort of reaction to Embry not being there, but I walked towards the building, thinking only that he might be in class.

Except that he wasn't.

I took my seat next to Bobby, who was rapidly texting, and looked around the room. In Embry's usual spot, there was no one, nothing in the space. For a moment, I spared a glance at Kim, who was, in a very bold move, giving me the smugest look she could muster. It took everything in me to turn around and not flip her off.

"So you're coming to my party tonight?" Bobby asked, not looking up from her phone.

I turned my attention towards the door. "Uh, yeah," I replied, watching the people walking past, wondering if one of them might be him, and wondering even further why I cared so much that he wasn't here. My gut was doing that thing again; the thing where it tugs and pulls and makes me feel weird like something is missing. Why did I care? I couldn't look away from the door.

"Cool. You can show up at like ten, I guess. You're not bringing anyone right?"

"Um," I looked back at Bobby, who had been staring at me. "I'm bringing my cousin Quil. He's giving me a ride."

Bobby titled her head and pursed her lips and while she was thinking, I looked back at the door, expecting to see Embry and for him to start staring at me and following me around everywhere but the doorway was empty. "Ateara? That's fine he's kind of-what are you looking at?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing."

Bobby rolled her eyes and leaned in real close to me and I could smell her sugary perfume. "Listen, here's the thing," she sighed, "okay, my ex-girlfriend is bringing her new girlfriend tonight, and I'm pretending to be cool with it but I'm actually not cool with it. And I don't wanna be bitter or anything, but she's actually a huge bitch, and I know she's gonna start something tonight."

I blinked. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I know that you're like," she sighed, and I never would have been able to imagine her looking so frazzled, "you're like, tough, you know? And I know that when you went to Shia Blackburn's party a while back and when that girl from Forks told Kim she was too ugly for Jared you gave her a black-eye. That's the type of energy I need from you tonight. Like, ruthless, cutthroat, y'know? Because I know something's going to happen."

For a moment, I was honored. But that was fleeting and I instantly became offended. "Did you invite me to your party to act as your security?"

"I invited you to my party because you're cool and scary and if you so happen to have a few drinks and throw a few punches I'd rather them be at her," she explained with a shrug. "But I'm telling you this cause I don't want you showing up all distracted and acting weird."

"Oh my god," I groaned, "Bobby, I don't wanna go if I have to follow you around all nice and stomp out anyone who's mean to you. We're not even friends."

"You don't have to follow me around all night," she said, completely ignoring everything else I had said, "you just, ugh, I just don't wanna be unprotected. All of my friends are great and all but if something were to happen I'd be screwed. So like, I just need you in the general area in case something starts."

"What do you think is going to happen? It's your house. They're not gonna jump you." Sometimes I really felt like I was the only reasonable person in the entire world, and everyone else lived in their heads. "Wait, did you say girlfriend?"

But she pouted and said the magic words, "I'll give you fifty-dollars."

At lunch time, I ditched.

I never ditched class before; it was like the one thing I wouldn't do. But my head was clouded and everywhere I went I couldn't stop myself from looking around and peering through crowds of people for a certain pair of brown eyes, so I had to get the hell out of there. And between the fighting and Bobby and the endless thoughts about a boy I didn't care about, I had forgotten about Bear.

I walked down the street towards the beach with my journal in my hand and tried to push all the thoughts I had about Embry and his lack of appearance to the back of my head while I flipped through notes I had taken late in the night. It was concerning how easily I could forget about something that was so important to be all because I got invited to one party and one boy started talking to me and then suddenly stopped.

All the theories I had considered seemed kind of stupid now. I imagined the person who found my little book looking through and laughing at the idea that I thought bigfoot killed my brother (it's not that I really thought that, but it was more of a desperate grasp at straws). There were some that seemed a little more real, but I felt like a dumbass nonetheless. Now that I knew for sure that none of them were true, I wanted to kick myself for ever thinking that they could be.

The waves were huge today. I picked a spot on the sand and settled in. The ocean was always my favorite part of living here. It was strong, uninviting, and intimidating. There was nothing about the way the waves crashed into the shore that made you want to dive in. You respected it, but you stayed away.

I flipped to the last page of the journal to reread the last note that was given to me. I had read it a dozen times, practically had it memorized, but I felt the need to go over it again and again, like it would give me something new. And when I landed on the worn out page, there was something new.

No hints. I think you can figure it out on your own. Stay safe, stop going out at night.

And my gut dropped. My gut dropped and my heart stopped beating or it started beating faster I didn't know the difference all I did know was that my journal had not left my side since the last time I thrown it into the woods. I was sweating and I tried to remember the last time I looked at this page and how someone could've taken this away from me and how I didn't notice. I felt sick at the notion that someone could get that close to me. I wanted to burn the notebook.

Instead, I closed it, and looked to the ocean to calm me, and thought about what I was gonna wear tonight.

"Hey."

The sound of his voice made my stomach flip, and I hated it. When I turned around he was walking towards me, emotions mixed all over his face with those dumb glossy eyes. "Hey," I said, and turned back around.

Embry sat down next to me. Close, but not too close. It figures that I was looking out for him all day and the minute I stopped he showed up. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?" he asked.

"Aren't you?"

"I had some stuff to take care off," he said with a shrug. "What about you?"

It was amazing how I could spend all day wondering why Embry wasn't following me around and then the second he came around I was desperate from him to leave. "I just wasn't feeling great. Too much on my mind, I guess."

He nodded. "Quil told me you guys are going to a party tonight?"

"Are you guys like, telepathic or something?"

Embry chuckled and I was looking up at him and feeling ways I couldn't explain. It was like, the sweating and the weird heartbeat were gone and all of my nerves just dissipated and around him I was calm. And even though it felt kind of nice, I kind of hated it, because being calm wasn't any part of who I was. "It feels like that sometimes," and then he looked me in the eyes and said, "just be safe tonight, okay?"

With a chuckle, I said, "Does everyone think I lack the capacity to take care of myself? I'll be fine. I'm a big girl. I know how to box."

He gave me a pointed look. "I think that's what everyone's worried about."

And I didn't know why but I wanted to keep talking to him and to just sit there on the beach for as long as I could and just talk to him but I couldn't even think of anything to say. I felt so stupid. I felt like someone else. I smiled.

"You're being nice today," he said suddenly, and I shot him a look. "I mean, not to say you're a mean person or anything, but sometimes you're kind of, well I mean, you're just nicer today."

I shrugged. "I forgot to take my mean bitch pills this morning. I'll double up on the dosage tomorrow."

"You're not a bitch," Embry said quickly, and a little bit intensely. "You just don't let people treat you badly, and you're not really afraid of anything or anyone. I think that's nice."

I wanted to tell him how wrong he was, and how I was afraid of literally everything ever since I saw the snarling wolf and the shrill laugh and how it's been haunting me in my dreams. But I just said, "Thanks."

Embry smiled at me. "C'mon. I'll walk you home."

"Are you sure you wanna go to this stupid thing?" Quil asked as he trailed behind me, dragging his feet and his voice. "Like, we don't have to go. Nothing is stopping us from not going."

"Shut up," I said, and grabbed the doorknob, "we're already here."

It took me about three seconds after I opened the door to lose Quil. There were a lot of people there, so many that it made Bobby's huge house (which was about the size of about six of my houses) look crowded and tiny. I didn't even know this many people, and I was pretty sure the amount of people in Bobby's house was greater than the entire population of the reservation. Now I had been to my fair share of parties, but they weren't even half the size of this one. And I was perplexed.

I pushed my way through the throngs of people dancing (and by dancing I mean gently swaying while having bland and drunken conversation) to try and find the kitchen. The kitchen was the crown jewel of all parties, as that was where the cold and unopened alcohol was, and if I was going to be here to fight Bobby's ex-girlfriend's new girlfriend (which, 1. that was a thought that made my head hurt, and 2. who knew, I guess the thirty-year old boyfriend thing wasn't true) I was going to be drunk. I would be drunk and fifty-dollars richer.

The Evans family kitchen was large, open, and full of granite. And while I grabbed and cup and a bottle of rum, I thought about how rich people loved granite in their kitchens. My mom had to build our own kitchen tops but I bet the Evans had someone who makes as much money as my dad install theirs for them and I poured coconut rum to the rim of the cup and started drinking.

The first sips of rum were always the best. I savored it and the warmness because I knew pretty soon that this shit would taste disgusting.

"There you are!" I heard Quil exclaim while I was chugging the contents of my cup. I was about halfway through and when I heard his voice I choked. "Don't bail on me Remy, fuck. What are you drinking?"

"Water," I said, still coughing from the rum that went down the wrong side of my throat. "I'm thirsty," I said, before going in again.

"Fucking hell, Remy!" Quil snapped, and pulled the now almost empty cup from my lips, "I can smell it, dumbass. Listen," he said, taking my cup and tossing it in the nearby trash. "You said that if I came you wouldn't drink."

I was already feeling it in my veins. "Quil, I said sure sarcastically. C'mon, be serious for a second, did you think I was actually gonna show up to a party with free alcohol and not drink? I mean, seriously. And you're calling me a dumbass?"

Quil groaned, leaning backwards and he said to himself, "Embry's gonna fucking kill me."

And before I could say anything to that, there was a tugging on my arm. I whipped around and felt dizzy. '"Remy," Bobby said, tugging on my bicep, "holy shit you are strong," she started poking the muscles in my upper arm and then looked at me with big eyes and a big smile, "Flex for me?"

I stared at her, deadpanned. "No."

"Ugh, okay fine. But c'mon, Wendy's here."

"You dated a girl named Wendy? Echg." I looked back over at Quil and shrugged. "Sorry, I'll be right back." He stared in incredulity as I reached over and grabbed the bottle of rum before being pulled away completely by Bobby.

Her hand was tight around me wrist as we pushed through the people in the living room and and dining room and all the other rooms that my poor, very not rich family didn't have and I drank some of the rum on the way. Bobby brought me to the back of her house and pushed open a glass door, and I was blown away. Her backyard was huge, with a patio and a bonfire and a stupid fucking hot tub. It was so nice and her family was so rich it made me mad.

I took another sip.

"Hey guys!" Bobby said in a sugary voice to a group of people sitting around a fire. They were all pretty and they were all girls and most of them were white with a lot of makeup. "This is my friend Remy," she said, smiling back at me, and I raised the rum as a greeting. "Remy, this is Max, Amber, Wendy, Lily and Jenny." Her voice was so different when she talked to them compared to when she talked to me. "What did I miss?" she asked, and pulled me down to sit beside her by the fire.

And then, I blacked out.

Or at least, I tried my hardest to. Because I thought, okay, if I was gonna be stuck talking to a group of girls I didn't know or care about, then I was at least gonna do what I came to do: get drunk. And every time someone said something and I found it to be annoying or had no idea what they were talking about, I drank, which resulted in the bottle being almost empty within a forty-five minute window. They laughed loudly and I watched them, trying to figure out who was who and put faces to names but I was having a hard time because they all kind of looked the same and my eyes were starting to droop.

Wendy was, the girl sitting across from me with feathery blond hair and a bird like face with wide blue eyes and she was holding hands with the girl on her right. It was either Amber or Max, I couldn't remember, and Wendy kept giving Bobby these little half glances with a sly little smirk that lifted one side of her face. She was like a cartoon character.

I couldn't keep track of their conversations but I lifted my head when they started talking about the cult boys. I think it was Jenny, the girl with the butterfly clips in her hair who went to my school, who said, "No I'm not even kidding, they all dropped out of school and then came back like, I dunno, a month later with huge muscles and tattoos. And they would walk around the reservation in big groups and they like, never wear shirts."

Another girl giggled. "I wish they'd come to my school."

But Bobby snorted. "No you don't. They're a bunch of self-righteous hall monitors. All they did was take a bunch of steroids and now they just stare at people and act creepy all the time." Bobby flicked her eyes at me for just a second. "They're fucking weird."

"No Bobby's right," said the girl holding Wendy's hand. I was thinking it was Amber, and she looked Bobby in the eyes while she spoke. "They're really creepy and I wouldn't be surprised to find out that they were in some weird sacrificial cult."

Wendy chuckled. "Do you think they killed that guy last year?" she said with a laugh, like this was a cute little lighthearted conversation topic. "I mean, they found his body in the woods and aren't they always hanging out in the woods? I mean, I know they said he offed himself but I bet they just staged it like that. He probably didn't stand a chance."

Bobby looked at me like she was excited and nervous for what was about to happen and I bet she could see the waves of rage radiating off of me. I knew that she didn't know, and there was no way that this girl from outside the res had any idea what happened to Bear or what the cult boys were like, but she insinuated that Quil, who was probably running around this stupid party trying to find me and make sure I was safe, could've hurt Bear, my Bear. So I said, "Shut the fuck up."

Wendy raised an eyebrow at me. "Excuse me?"

"Don't talk about things you don't know," I said, shaking my head. My eyes were so heavy from the rum. I took a sip. "If you're gonna come on to our reservation you better not make stupid accusations against the people who live here. You're an outsider, act like it."

She snorted. "Dude, it's just a theory it's not that deep."

I could feel the nerves from Bobby when I stood and looked her in the eyes. "You're talking about my dead brother and my cousin, so yeah, it is that deep, Becky."

"First of all, my name is Wendy."

"I don't give a fuck."

This was the moment Bobby was waiting for, and what she would hopefully pay me for. And when she opened her mouth to say something back, my eyes caught something in the background, by the edge of Bobby's backyard, in the trees. He was standing there like the red-headed girl was, straight and poised with leaves all over him. I stared, and for a while too because I was afraid if I looked away he would disappear. I could hear Wendy's yapping but I couldn't bring myself to listen to a single word. I started walking towards him, hands shaking. I didn't care about Wendy or Bobby or the money but for good measure, when I passed Wendy I tossed the remainder of rum in her face and dropped the bottle in her lap. And I kept going.

Bear didn't move as I walked towards him, and I walked slowly because I didn't want to scare him off. I felt cold. I couldn't breathe and I didn't think about moving my legs they just did it on their own. He looked so much like himself it made me feel sick. I was getting closer to him and I was so mad that Bobby's backyard was so big. I was almost there; I was close enough to see the details in his face and there were tears brimming in my eyes and then he was gone. He turned his back and walked into the woods and he was gone again.

I ran.

I sprinted after him and thought I might throw up but I knew I saw Bear and I knew he was in there and when the branches of trees hit my face I kept running past them because I knew Bear was in this woods and he was alive. I saw him and he was alive. I was breathing heavy and I didn't know where I was running but I kept going anywhere. I started yelling his name. My voice sounded different in my ears and all I could see was trees. My head was spinning and my legs felt heavy like concrete. I didn't know where I was.

My foot caught on something and I didn't know what it was but I was on the ground. My nose slammed into the ground and I groaned and the fall made my head hurt worse. The dirt under me rubbed into my face and I wanted to cry because I was almost certain I had lost Bear again and maybe this time was forever. I thought that I had lost him forever last time but losing him forever twice sucked even more. I wanted to pound my fists into the ground and scream but I just sat there and I buried my head in my arms and I cried.

I heard footsteps approaching and I thought for a second it might be the serial killer from the news and I didn't really care because seeing Bear tore me open and I felt raw and unhinged.

"Remy what the fuck are you doing?"

It was just Quil. I looked up at him with my stupid makeup running all over my dumb face from dumb tears and I was really cold. "Hi Quil," I said, rubbing my face into my arms. "Fun party, huh?"

He sighed. "Come on, Remy. Let's go home. You can tell me what happened after you shower," Quil said, and it sounded like a reasonable idea but my head was spinning and I wanted to puke because I had so much rum and I didn't even get to eat the muffin and I was missing something.

"No," I said, and wiggled against the ground as if that would root me in the dirt like a tree. And I surprised myself by saying, "I want Embry here." And when I said it out loud I realized that it made so much sense, and if I was gonna hate Kim and if Bobby was gonna pay me to hear ugly girls talk about my brother, Embry was gonna be my new best friend.

"Remy," he groaned, "it's almost one in the morning. I don't even know if he's awake right now."

"That's okay. I'll wait here until he wakes up."

"Oh my fucking god."

And I couldn't see anymore and I wasn't sure if it was because I went blind or because I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I wanted to throw up. I threw up. Quil groaned. "I wanna see Embry," I whined, wiping the corner of my mouth with my sleeve.

"Okay fine!" he snapped, and I heard the dialing of a phone. "Embry's gonna fucking kill me," he said for the second time that night, and then, in a sharper tone, said, "and I'm gonna fucking kill you, Remy."

I laughed. It was an ugly laugh with a big snort. "Love you, Quil," I sung.

"Hey...no, dude I know...no she's fine, I mean, sort of fine...okay she's in rough shape, but she's asking for you...okay, yeah...fine, see you then." I heard Quil sigh. "Okay, c'mon Remy, open your eyes. We're going to see Embry."

I opened my eyes and Quil did not look happy but I outstretched my arms towards him and said, "Carry me?"

"Remy," Quil said in a sharp tone, "you are so lucky you're like my little sister," he said, and picked me up off the ground and flung me over his shoulder. "But if you puke on me, I will kick your ass."

"I have never puked before in my life. Don't worry."

I didn't know where Quil was taking me but that was in part due to the fact that I kept my eyes closed the entire time. It was a bumpy ride, though, and I could feel each step Quil took in my gut. My head was detached from my body and I couldn't stop giggling or poking Quil's back. He didn't say anything to me, but the ride suddenly stopped when I heard a car door open and I was thrown into the backseat of a truck. "You're really strong," I said to Quil and stretched out along the cushions, "I weigh six tons."

"Jesus Christ, alright," Quil mumbled, and then slammed the door shut. He moved to the front and started up the truck and when he drove I felt the bumps of rocks under tires on my back. "I rolled down the windows in case you have to puke. Puke outside the window. Again, if you puke in my truck, you will not be spared. I will kill you. Okay Remy? I will kill you."

I didn't really listen to what Quil was saying anymore because I was staring at the roof of the truck and thinking about how soft it would be to touch and wondered what stars were just out of my reach. I couldn't believe that Bear was alive. I smiled and laughed and I couldn't stop laughing and everything just felt so good all of the sudden and I was so excited to sit next to Embry.

Quil didn't drive for long cause it's a small reservation and I guessed everyone lived so close to each other that it didn't even matter where we were. And while Quil parked the car in a spot I couldn't see I thought about how far away from Texas we were. "He'll be out in a second," Quil said, and my heart was all over my body.

The door opened to the sound of, "Quil, I am going to fucking kill you."

"Yeah, I know."

I sat up straight and moved to the side so there was room for Embry to sit next to me, because I really liked it when Embry sat next to me. I was smiling when he looked over at me and took the spot I made for him. "Hey, Remy, are you okay?" he asked in the most gentle voice.

And instead of responding, I popped my head out of the window and threw up.

There was a hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair while I hung out the window, limp at the neck. "What the fuck happened? You said you were gonna take care of her."

"I tried dude. There were so many people there I couldn't keep track of her. We walked in and she found herself liquor within five minutes and then she got taken away to some group of girls so I thought she was gonna be fine. But then I went to check on her and she was gone and drank the whole fucking bottle and I found her out in the woods crying on the ground."

I puked again, but Embry's hand was warm and made it suck way less. "What was she doing in the woods?"

"I don't know! She wouldn't tell me! I feel like I'm babysitting a toddler."

I was panting and my mouth tasted foul. I wanted water. My head was throbbing and my face was cold so I dropped back into the truck and leaned my head against Embry's shoulder. "Does anyone have water?"

My eyes were fluttering shut and Embry's skin was really warm. It was so warm it made my face flush and there was the sound of shuffling before someone shoved plastic in my hands. I wrapped my lips around it and drank. The water was lukewarm but it soothed my throat and my stomach. "Alright, well just drive to her house. I'll make sure she goes to sleep safe and doesn't drown in her own vomit."

There was a sternness in Quil's voice when he said, "If you fucking try anything with her-"

"Who do you think I am?" Embry snapped back.

And even though I couldn't see and I felt like my body was on a different planet, I could tell there was a tenseness when Quil started driving again. Embry's shoulder was stiff but he brought his hand to my hair and started stroking it again. It was peaceful and quiet and uncomfortable but I felt myself drift in and out of it. And I could hear Quil and Embry talking and I felt the vibrations in his chest but I didn't know what was going on.

Before I could get a grasp on reality, I was being lifted out of the truck once more and I was in strong arms. The cold air was on my skin but Embry was warm like a blanket. He carried me through the cold and then there was a brightness behind my eyelids and the wood creaked under his feet. And I was placed somewhere new again, soft, in my own bed. And Embry's arms were gone and before I could stop myself I mumbled, "Don't leave."

Embry's voice came from somewhere distant. "I'm not gonna leave just yet," he said, and I didn't want to open my eyes. "There's a bucket by the side of your bed."

"I'm not gonna choke on my own puke."

"Right, because I'm here."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"You can tell me anything."

And I opened my eyes and sat up and looked at Embry. He was sitting in my desk chair and rolled it to face me and he was smiling. "I saw Bear in the woods today."

His smile fell, and I dropped back into bed. "Bear, like your bother?"

"Yeah. He's alive," I mused, and I had never been more happen than in that moment. "Goodnight, Embry."

boy that was a long one. let me know what you guys think! i worked super hard on this one and i'm super stoked that you guys are liking this story so far. one review = one pet for my cat so he also loves it when u like my story. anyways lov u see u next time.