"Follow me into the desert, as thirsty as you are; crack a smile and cut your mouth and drown in alcohol.

'Cause down below the truth is lying beneath the riverbed, so quench yourself and drink the water that flows below her head.

Oh no, there she goes out in the sunshine. The sun is mine, the sun is mine." Burden in My Hand, Soundgarden

Xx

Their trek through the Earth Kingdom was long and exhausting, hallmarked by hunger and headaches. Zuko and his Uncle rationed their food as best they could, Zuko oftentimes sneaking part of his rations back into their bag; his uncle was old, and he needed the energy more than Zuko. They wandered from village to village, trying to find work however they could. Unfortunately, most of the villages they stopped in were full of people who were also poor and starving, and more often than not the two men ended up leaving each village with no more than they showed up with. Even though Zuko had been banished, he was still a prince; he had never been without food for more than a day, never had to build his own shelter, never had to cook his own meals. Sure, as the years wore on his father sent him less and less in terms of supplies, but the ports he and his crew stopped in were always full of things they could purchase, or at the very least barter for. The situation they found themselves in now was entirely different than anything he had ever experienced, and Zuko was beginning to fear that this is the life he had resigned them too when he took the Avatar's side up in the North Pole. But it had been worth it.

Seeing first hand some of the destruction that the Fire Nation had brought upon the world had Zuko thinking more frequently that maybe the Avatar really was their last hope to ever return to a time of peace. Far too many people sympathized with him about his scar; people from each village they found had burn scars acting as physical reminders of the Fire Nation's brutality and cruelty. They had stopped in one village after his uncle had mistaken a white jade bush for a white dragon bush; he ended up with a nasty rash, and a kind family had taken them in to help treat him. The daughter of the family, Song, had shown Zuko a burn scar on her right shin; he had to swallow past the acid in his throat at the thought of his father's soldiers harming an innocent girl. She had tried to touch his scar in a show of sympathy, but he stopped her; he had never let anyone touch his scar aside from the healers who had tended to it right after he got it. Partially because of the fact that he had extremely limited vision out of that eye, and movements close to that side of his face startled him. But more than that, his scar was an act of deeply personal cruelty against him, and letting anyone touch it just felt… wrong. Even when he had been intimate with people in the past, he never let anyone touch it.

He shoved those thoughts aside as they continued to travel; according to the map they had obtained, they were close to the Si Wong Desert, which meant they were slowly getting closer to Ba Sing Se. After the desert, the journey to the great walled city would be relatively short, something Zuko was incredibly thankful for. He had no idea what they would actually do once they got there, but not having to sleep on the dirt would be a welcome change from the routine of the past few weeks.

Currently it was raining, the drops landing heavy on the dirt as Zuko and his uncle trudged on towards the desert. If they could move fast enough, it should only be a few days' journey to the edge of the Si Wong Desert, and Iroh seemed to be very sure that if they could get to Misty Palms Oasis within the desert, they would be in Ba Sing Se in no time after that. Zuko decided to trust his uncle's judgement; he had lots of friends in convenient places, and Zuko knew that he could pull strings all over the world if he needed too. The rain picked up, causing Zuko to push his wet hair back and out of his eyes. He looked forward at the dark path ahead, wondering if maybe they should stop for the night.

"I think it's about time to stop for the night, nephew," Iroh said over a roll of thunder as a brief flash of lightning arced through the dark clouds above. "Best to get out of this rain while we still can."

They find a dense area of trees and set up their tarp in a lean-to fashion for the night. The rain beats its percussion on the canvas, filling the gaps in conversation, lighting occasionally streaking across the sky in ribbons, splintering into the thick charcoal clouds. Zuko watches the sky as his uncle builds the fire; he is aware that only the best firebenders can generate lightning, his uncle being one of them. He had seen Iroh, on more than one occasion, redirect a bolt of lightning bound for the ship while they were in the middle of terrible storms out at sea, and he wonders what kind of skill it takes to harness such an incredible power.

"Uncle?" Iroh is brewing a pot of tea on the small fire at the edge of the canvas when Zuko interrupts him.

"Yes, Prince Zuko?"

"How do you bend lightning?"

His uncle peers up at him, an indecipherable look in his amber eyes. Zuko is acutely aware of the folded skin and crows feet around his uncle's eyes, the last seven years having taken a toll on both of them, his uncle more so than him.

"Lightning is created when a firebender is able to separate the positive and negative energies in the air." He stands, Zuko standing with him, and starts making a circular motion with his arms. "The energies pull apart, and in their haste to become one, they crash back together. That meeting of opposite energies creates the lightning." He gives Zuko a pointed look, and he feels a ghost of that strange tugging sensation he had felt on the water tribe ship. He has felt it many times since then; sometimes randomly, but mostly when he thought of Katara. Something about his uncle's words strikes a chord in him; he feels it resonating in his chest, the vibrations odd, yet comforting.

"That's incredible..." He's breathless, and chooses to believe that it's from the exhilaration of learning about lightning generation. "Will you teach me?"

"No," his uncle answers plainly. Zuko's face falls as he listens to his uncle's reasoning. "Generating lightning is extremely dangerous; you have to be completely devoid of emotion, completely in control of your thoughts."

"I can do that!" Both Zuko and his uncle know it's a lie as soon as he says it. He's always been too emotional, too soft, too much. But if he wants to get his emotions under control, he can damn well try.

Iroh gives him a careful look, calculating something Zuko can't see. "Fine, but you must be very careful."

Zuko smiles like he's seven years old and Iroh has brought him a new toy from a foreign land. They walk out from under the canvas shelter to a clearing not far away; the rain and thunder continue, but no lightning flashes accompany it.

"To generate lightning, you must separate the yin and yang energies in the air." This time when he moves his arms, sparks trail after his fingers. "Your mind must be clear; lightning is not fueled by rage or emotion, and requires precision and an empty mind." The trails of sparkling energy get longer. "When you force the yin and yang energies back together—" he brings his fingers together and shoots one hand out, lightning conjuring from his fingertips and striking off into the distance. "You create lightning."

Zuko copies the movements his uncle had made with his hands, trying to focus his energy and clear his mind. It's more difficult than he thought it would be; there are so many thoughts racing through his head all the time that even when he's trying to quiet them, he can still hear the whispers.

"You must clear your mind, Prince Zuko."

He takes a deep breath, but the last of his thoughts won't vacate his head. It isn't like meditating; he feels like he's under pressure, and the anxiety starts to creep its way up his legs and make them wobbly. He takes another deep breath, brings his hands together and out, and an explosion from his fingertips pushes him back, sending him crashing to the ground fifteen feet away from where he had stood.

"What happened? I thought I did it right, and it just… exploded." He raises from the ground, trying unsuccessfully to brush the mud off of his clothes.

"It is as I thought." His uncle comes over and puts his hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Your emotions are too strong, and there is still turmoil inside of you." Zuko looks at him skeptically, his one eyebrow raised towards his hairline. "Until you work through your conflicted feelings, your guilt and confusion, you will not be able to create lightning."

Zuko groans, hanging his head. "What guilt? I don't feel guilty." He leaves out the confusion part; he is most definitely confused.

Iroh shakes his head. "How about I teach you a technique that not even Azula knows?" Now he feels pathetic, like a child who can't sit through his sister's birthday without getting a toy himself. "I can teach you how to redirect lightning." He has to admit, it does sound intriguing. He nods his head, and his uncle smiles.

"The most important part of redirecting lightning is to not let it touch your heart." Iroh pokes Zuko's chest where his heart resides beneath his ribs. "The idea behind the technique is to guide the lightning through your body, leading it around your heart, and out through your fingers." He widens his stance and goes through a smooth motion, bringing the fingers of his left hand up to his outstretched right hand, down through his stomach, and out again, extending it into the air on the other side. "I invented this technique by watching waterbenders." He winks at Zuko, who absolutely does not blush. "Waterbending is all about taking hold of your opponent's energy and using it against them. You are not forcing the lightning, you are simply guiding it." They continue through the motion, Zuko getting a feel for the flowing movements of his arms the longer they practice. "The detour through the stomach is critical; if you do not lead the lightning around your heart, it will kill you."

"Okay, I'm ready to try it." Zuko is determined, his jaw set and eyes serious.

"What?" His uncle's tone is not encouraging. "Are you crazy? I'm not going to shoot lightning at you, nephew!"

"But I need to practice!" Zuko pleads with his uncle. "What if someone shoots lightning at me and I can't redirect it?"

"If you are lucky, Prince Zuko," he lays a level glare onto Zuko, and he feels his anger writhe in his stomach, rising to his throat like bile. "You will never have to use this technique at all."

"Urhg!" Zuko throws his hands up into the air; how is he supposed to have faith in himself if nobody will have faith in him? "I'm taking a walk."

He stalks off into the trees, heading for the rocky hill in the distance. His thoughts are dark and scathing; he's always harbored a certain amount of self hatred and doubt, and it pains him that his uncle doesn't believe that he can do this. Maybe I can't do it. His thoughts betray him as he shakes his head. Maybe my father is right; I've always been useless. Maybe uncle is finally seeing it now. He knows that isn't true; his uncle loves him. But I know I don't deserve it.

He battles his mind all the way to the top of the hill, pulling at his hair in a desperate attempt to push back his negative thoughts and control his breathing. The sky pours rain down in buckets, plastering his hair to his forehead, and thunder rumbles loud and long. He looks up into the sky as best he can in the downpour, doing his damnedest to keep from crying; he is overwhelmed by the negativity in his head, the harsh words sounding more and more like his father and Azula.

Failure. Disgrace. Pathetic. Weak.

He screams into the night air with a particularly loud clap of thunder as his cover. He can't tell the tears on his face from the downpour coming from the sky, but at this point, he doesn't care if he cries. His breaths come fast and heavy as he tries to avoid an anxiety attack, but the effort is wasted. He falls to his knees, wondering what the hell he is doing with his life, and why he always ends up like this; exhausted, upset, and alone.

Xx

Katara is glad to have Toph as a part of the group. She really is.

But it seems that travelling with someone who's never had to do a day of work in her life leaves much to be desired, and Katara is at the end of her rope dealing with Toph's attitude, Appa's incessant shedding, and now with the three violent young women they had dealt with in Omashu chasing them like a polar dog chasing a bone on a stick. After a full night of no sleep, they are getting desperate to find a way to get the girls off their trail, and Toph has stormed off into the distance in a fit of anger.

After thoroughly washing Appa to rid him of the shedding fur, Aang has an idea.

"Okay, I'm going to take a bunch of Appa's fur," Aang picks up clumps of Appa's fur from the river, drying it and stuffing it into his shoulder bag, "and try to lead them in a different direction. You guys just keep going and try to find Toph."

Aang's plan is solid, but unfortunately it doesn't stop the chi-blocking girl and the knife-throwing girl from catching up to them. Katara and Sokka almost lose the fight, but at the last minute, Appa sends a powerful gust of air towards the two fighters with his tail, propelling them into the large river that pulls them swiftly downstream.

"Thanks Appa." Katara pats the bison affectionately, and they hop back in the saddle as he groans.

They search for Toph with no luck, but they do see flashes of blue fire below them in an abandoned town as they fly. They bring Appa down, knowing the only person who has the ability to bend blue fire is after Aang, and had been suspiciously missing when they were caught by the two women at the river. The two siblings rush in to help, and the girl with the blue fire has Aang on the ropes. She's an incredible fighter, precise and powerful, and Katara has to concentrate more than she ever has to beat her back. She evades their attacks, and Katara notices that there is red fire mixed in with the blue, looking like it's targeting the dangerous woman as well. They continue to fight as Toph shows up, cocky as ever, and it's when Katara notices Zuko has a fist pointed towards the woman as well that she knows they've beaten her. They back her into a corner, and she puts her hands up in the air.

"Well, look at this." Her voice sends a shiver down Katara's spine, the malice bleeding through her words. "Enemies and traitors working together. I'm done— I know when I've been beaten." She looks like she really has given up, until the moment a bright burst of fire erupts from her fingertips and shoots out, hitting Zuko's uncle in the shoulder, sending him sprawling to the ground.

"Argh!" Zuko shouts and shoots fire at the woman, the other three benders attacking with their elements and Sokka throwing his boomerang simultaneously, but a sphere of blue fire shields her from their attack, and the resulting explosion sends them all flying backwards, creating a huge cloud of dust. When the dust settles, the woman is gone, multiple buildings are on fire, and Zuko is kneeling next to his uncle. Katara rushes over, skidding painfully on her knees in her haste to get close to him.

"Katara!" Zuko's voice is wrecked as he says her name, and her heart breaks for him. She sheaths her hands in water, pressing them gently to Iroh's wound. He hisses in pain, and she sees Zuko flinch out of the corner of her eye. "Is he going to be okay?" He sounds like a small child, quiet and scared.

"He'll be alright." The wound is deep and ugly, the flesh burned and bloody, but she's able to heal it so there's minimal scarring. She lets out a heavy breath once she is done, flinging the dirty water over to the side of the road. She turns to look at Zuko, who is staring at his uncle with tears in his eyes.

"Thank you." He looks up at Katara, and their hearts must be magnets, because the force pulls them together in a fierce embrace. She can feel Zuko's tears soaking through the shoulder of her tunic as she strokes his hair. It feels so good to be in his arms; despite everything that just happened, she feels safe.

"Who was that?" Sokka asks from over Katara's shoulder, and Zuko pulls away from her, her hands sliding down his arms to hold his hands in hers. She is cold where his body just was, and she doesn't let go of his hands as he answers her brother.

"That was Azula..." he pauses to take a deep breath. "My sister."

"Your sister? I'm confused." Toph is kneeling at Iroh's other side, something Katara finds curious.

"Yeah, she's—" Zuko looks up at Toph, his face screwing up in confusion. "Wait, who are you?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Sparky." Zuko looks at Katara as he mouths the word "sparky?" and she laughs quietly. "I'm Toph, Aang's earthbending teacher. I ran into your uncle out in the woods before we came here."

"Oh." Zuko looks over at Aang. "I'm glad you found an earthbending teacher."

"Me too." Aang smiles at Zuko, the smile turning softer as it lands on Toph. Zuko raises his eyebrow at Katara, who shrugs, unable to hide the small smile on her own face.

Iroh groans, and Zuko lets go of Katara's hands as they help the old man sit up. "Oh, hello Lady Katara." He sounds tired, but not like he's in pain. "And hello again, Lady Toph."

"I told you, grandpa." Zuko's eye bulges at the nickname. "It's just Toph." Iroh chuckles, and Katara wonders what's going through Zuko's mind as he tries to comprehend Toph's familiarity with his uncle.

"We're glad you're okay Iroh." Sokka moves forwards to help Zuko assist Iroh in standing up. "But we have to get going if we want to get to Ba Sing Se." He looks at Zuko and they nod at each other.

"Oh, Ba Sing Se is our destination as well! What a coincidence," Iroh chimes in, looking back and forth between Zuko and Katara suspiciously.

"Why don't you guys come with us?" Aang asks, sounding hopeful, but he already knows their answer.

"It's too dangerous." Zuko looks from Sokka to Aang. "We can't risk it. We're still fugitives, and we'll have to live there as refugees. You won't be able to get anything done if you're stuck in the lower tier with us." He looks down at Katara, his gold eyes shining, something in them drawing Katara in. What would it be like if I just… "We have to split up," he interrupts Katara's thoughts, heat rising to her cheeks as she realizes where her thoughts had been headed. She ducks her head to try to hide her blush, and doesn't see Iroh turn towards Toph, who's wearing her smirk like a crown.

They say their goodbyes, Katara making sure she is the last to speak to Zuko. They stare into each other's eyes for a moment before embracing; his body is warm and solid, the smell of wood smoke wafting into her nose as he holds her to his chest. They part slowly, his hands trailing down her arms and hers down his sides to make the contact last as long as it can.

"We''ll see each other again." She's getting lost in his eyes as they dart back and forth between hers.

"How do you know?" His voice is quiet, just for her, and she wants to lift up onto her toes and kiss the words right off of his lips.

"I can feel it." She knows he won't think she's crazy; she knows that he feels it too. He nods at her as she pulls away, and when she looks back at him once she's seated in Appa's saddle, he is still looking at her. She lifts up her hand in a wave, his rising in response before they part.

"Appa, yip yip!" Aang's voice breaks the spell, bringing her tumbling back to reality as they rise into the air.

"So..." Toph turns to her with an shit eating grin spread across her small face. "Who's your boyfriend?" Katara sputters, sure her face is redder than it's ever been.

"That's Zuko." Sokka answers without missing a beat. "We've run into him a few times since we saved him from drowning in the South Pole."

"He's not my boyfriend!" She finally gets the words out of her mouth, only to be met with three very skeptical looks pointed in her direction.

"Sure thing, Sugar Queen."