*This chapter is accompanied by a piece of artwork on Ao3: w w w . archive of our own works/27153388/chapters/67862897
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That night they moved Eliza from the cot to the room's clean bed against the wall. And that next day, after Eliza had drifted off and had been asleep for quite a while, they set Isaac in his bassinet beside her and left the room to give them both some peace and quiet.
Addie took the porcelain bowl of water, muddied with blood, into the kitchen, and Arthur's younger self followed her.
From where Arthur himself stood, he could see both rooms—he could straddle the wall and keep an eye on Eliza and Isaac, as if the wall meant nothing for him. And just then it seemed Eliza had awoken and was coming to the bedroom door, when she heard the pair talking and stopped to listen.
Addie set to work and dumped the water outside through the front door, going back to the sink to scrub it as Arthur's younger self took a seat at the kitchen table.
"A more unequally yoked pair, I never have seen, the two of ya," Addie said without looking at him as she washed the basin. "You can't even bring yourself to say aloud whether you love her."
"Oh, so…she's told you," he said, hunching over and rubbing his fingers hard against his forehead.
"I'm like a ma to her since hers passed. Yeah, she's told me. It hurts her. Hurts her deep. But for some dadgum reason, it don't make a lick a' difference for her. She loves you. God bless her, she sees somethin' in you that I just can't."
"Maybe that's why I need her."
"Ah, so it's about you."
"That ain't what I meant—"
"You're broken. You know it, and I know it." She looked up and caught him by the eyes before looking back down. "You saw somethin' you wanted. You hadn't known her two hours, and you knocked her up."
"But it weren't like I abandoned her. We actually…were sweet on each other for a while after that."
"Hot n' heavy ain't the same as sweet."
"But we were! Sweet, I mean. Are…" He rubbed his neck. "Then when she missed her monthly, we found out she'd been pregnant the whole time…"
"Yup. From day one."
He sighed. "I know she deserves better. And I know I don't deserve her. Trust me, you don't have to tell me. But, hell—ain't that just the way a lover's s'posed to feel?"
Arthur watched Eliza's hopeful expression as she listened.
"I wanna do right by her. By both of them. Really do right. Since I found out she was pregnant, that's been my idea."
"Forgive me if I don't want a pity marriage for her."
"Nah, it ain't like that either!" he looked up at her, his brows in a frustrated twist. "She and I had a long talk when she first told me she was pregnant. We'd had quite a few before, and we've had many since. I told her I wanted to do this—stick around, be around for her and the babe. And she was surprised and excited, but she made sure I knew…it weren't gonna be all easy and nice. And I know that. It's life. What part of it is? But it's worth it to me. To us."
He glanced at her, then grumbled as he looked down and shook his head. "You want me to tuck tail and run. Well, you ain't the only one." He sighed. "But I won't do it. I always wanted a family of my own. Never thought it would happen to me. Now I've got one, I'll be damned if I let it get away."
As he looked down, he held his left hand with his right, his palm facing upward, and thumbed the wedding ring on his finger, watching it glow in the daylight from the window of Addie's small house. The Celtic knot engraving sat in sharp contrast to the solid gold.
"That's my wife and son in there," he said without looking up. He was quiet, each word weighed and measured with intention. "It's like she said: that's all there is to it."
Eliza looked down and closed her eyes, taking in his words, letting them soak in.
When she heard his chair legs scrape the floor, she turned in a flurry and scurried back to bed.
But he was stopped before he ever reached the door, unknowingly just out of Eliza's earshot now.
"She's special," Addie said.
"I know that."
"More than that, she's—"
"Precious."
At that, Addie looked up and met his eyes.
He smirked and nodded. "Believe me. I know." He turned and faced the door. "They both are. And I feel like a desperately unworthy king," he breathed. He looked down at his hand again, still clearly just as captured by his new ring, and everything it stood for, as he'd been the moment she'd first put it on him.
He took a breath. "And just because you can't say somethin'," his tone was even steadier and clearer than before, "don't make it not true."
Both Addie's and Arthur's eyes were glued to him as he pushed through the door and closed it behind him. Arthur followed him into the room and saw him smile at the sight of Eliza sitting up in bed.
"Hey. You're awake."
"Oh," she grinned, "Isaac's startin' to fuss a bit," she gestured meekly to the bassinet.
He went and gently picked him up, holding his hand under his head as he brought him to her.
She began to unbutton the collar and the box pleat of her nightgown. "I don't know if I'll ever get this right, Arthur," she whispered a little whimper. "He hasn't eaten yet, even once! Addie said it shoulda happened an hour after birth. But he didn't latch. I've sat with him for ages, a few different times now. Poor thing, he must be starving. It just breaks my heart. Maybe he shoulda had a different mama."
"No, no, no…"
"And I just feel so useless, and…"
"Shh, don't say that," he whispered as he sat beside her on the bed and laid him in her arms. "You ain't. You're the strongest person I know."
She looked up at him and sniffled, "Thank you." She shifted a bit against the pillow. "But Addie told me all these things, the ways you're supposed to do it, to get it right. And I can hardly keep track of it all, and…"
"Forget all that. Just do what feels right."
Her crinkled expression and half-smirk before looking down at Isaac said she didn't have much confidence. She slowly brought her little finger past their tiny babe's lips and gently rested the pad of her finger on the roof of his mouth until he was calm. She cradled him in her arms and brought him up close to her breast, holding her hand gently to the back of his neck.
"I'm supposed to…wait until he's got his mouth real big. Wide as a yawn, she said."
With his eyes closed, Isaac rolled his tongue and smacked his lips a bit. But he wasn't opening up, and he wasn't attaching.
She looked up at Arthur with painfully drawn brows. "See?"
But with his eyes still on Isaac, he'd begun smiling. "Well, golly, Eliza. I sure do."
She looked back down to see Isaac with his eyes closed suckling greedily, taking hasty breaths through his tiny button nose. She quickly looked back up at Arthur with bright eyes and a buoyant smile.
"We're doing it," she breathed. Looking back down at Isaac and stroking the back of his head, she whispered again, "We're doing it, baby."
In a matter of moments, her eyes had filled, and she glanced up at Arthur sheepishly. "Silly to cry," she mumbled with a broken chuckle as a tear dripped down her cheek and she quickly wiped her nose with the back her hand.
"Nah," he grinned. "It ain't."
She smiled in thanks. "I didn't think I could love either of you more," she whispered looking down at Isaac, "and then each moment passes." She chuckled again, only able to fit the tip of her finger into his small hand. "Did you ever think a person could be so tiny?"
"I'm havin' trouble gettin' a grasp on how he ever coulda been smaller, when he was growin' inside you, ya know." He let out a single scoff. "I'm almost terrified I'll break him somehow. Maybe just by breathin'."
"No, you won't," she smiled. "You don't know how gentle you are." She glanced up at him from the side of her eyes. "And don't say you're a big, bumbling, dumb moron." A smile began to edge the corner of her mouth. "I'm too tired to scold you so fiercely."
He grinned. "Yes, ma'am."
When a little mumbled chuckle arose from her, he couldn't help but match it.
He watched her trace the pad of her finger over the funny little wrinkles in Isaac's forehead, across his eyebrow and down his temple to his soft cheek. Arthur came close and rested his forehead against her temple, and she closed her eyes. And the three of them sat there close, in the still and quiet for a few minutes, with only the sound of Isaac's breathing as he nursed.
Arthur finally drew away a bit and looked at her. "Hey. You all right?"
"Sure, I'm okay. Why?"
"You kinda…gave us a scare there."
"Really?"
"Mm."
"Oh… I'm just…real sore and exhausted, is all."
"I'm sorry," he brushed some stray hair back from her forehead. "Well, you think in about a week's time you'll be able to stand for a while?" He looked down and mumbled almost to himself. "For… How long they usually take? I ain't ever been to one. Fifteen, twenty minutes…?"
"Yes," she said clearly and promptly, causing him to look up. "Y-yes, I'll be able to stand."
When he saw the latent eager look in her eyes, he had to release an airy chuckle, which caused her to smile in turn. "All right. Saturday it is then."
They looked into each other's eyes, and he came close and pressed his lips gently against hers. They kissed each other back and forth a few times, and it was all so gentle and feather-soft, with the light smacking sounds filling their ears.
She suddenly let out a groan that rumbled up from deep in her throat and sounded like the result of pain, and he pulled away and looked at her.
"My body reacting," she mumbled meekly, her brows drawing up in near embarrassment as she brought her forearm across her lower abdomen and rubbed. "Addie said my womb shrinking back to normal size could take a few days, and the cramps may get pretty severe."
"Agh, god!" he looked up in empathy and exasperation. "Will it ever end for ya?"
She bit her lower lip and mumbled a plaintive chuckle before looking down at Isaac, who'd had his fill and whose eyelids were beginning to slink up and down.
"I suspect not," she whispered, softly stroking the back of his head before bringing him to her right shoulder to burp him. "With a mother's heart in this world?"
"Well. You won't be alone."
She patted Isaac gently on the back, and it wasn't long before he'd spat up and was cleaned and down in her lap on her arms again, drifting off to contented sleep.
She looked over at Arthur to her left and let her head rest back on the pile of pillows behind her.
"I want to thank you," she whispered low, her chin trembling a little, "for standin' by me, when things get hard." She brought her left hand up from under Isaac's back and lifted it up to Arthur's temple, letting her fingertips sink back into his hairline as he matched the tilt of her head with his. "You're so…kind and patient with me."
He smirked and huffed a little breath through his nose. "Kind and patient," he gently shook his head.
Arthur shook his head with him. "Only you would ever call me such things."
"I think you got me confused with the mirror," he said. "'S more your brand, hun. 'Sides. Weren't no way for me to react, when I saw him."
"You loved him. You were just afraid for him. But when you really saw him, all you felt was love." She let out a long sigh. "You don't need to be afraid, Arthur. You'll be a great father. Already are. You can't fail at it. Just be here, and be you."
As Arthur stood watching from the side, he watched the expression on his young face smooth and relax in peace and comfort as his eyes roamed over her face and his breathing came easy.
Continuing to watch, he hung his head. He finally brought his hand up, pressed the heel of it against his forehead, and rubbed hard with a weak, pained groan. "Was she always so…wise and…compassionate?" He jammed his hand against his forehead a couple times. "My god. All the time I wasted…"
That evening, though still in her nightgown, Eliza ventured out into the kitchen to eat supper with them. Arthur carefully held Isaac in his arms and watched gratefully as she scarfed down a bowl of Addie's hearty stew.
And as they all sat before the fireplace afterwards, Eliza lifted her head from his shoulder.
"I better make myself up a bath, before I nod off again," she chuckled as she got up.
As she went to the bedroom door, he got up and followed her, with Isaac still in his arms.
"You need help?" he asked with sincerity. "I could…"
"No thank you," she said simply as she went into the room and began to close the door.
"You sure?"
"Yes, I'm all right, thank you."
"Well, sweetheart. I know you're real exhausted. I could help—"
"Arthur." The name was so quiet, it had almost been softened and smoothed completely of any hard attributes to the ear.
When he looked into her deep eyes as she continued to close the door so that only her face still showed, she gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head and a couple broken mumbled syllables, close to, "Mm…mm-mm."
When she'd finally closed it, he was left standing there with the babe in his arms. He looked back at Addie where she sat in a chair by the fire.
"She all right?"
"She's fine. Probably just a bit skittish. But she'll be okay."
"About what?"
The old woman glanced at him and sighed with a smirk, shaking her head. "If you don't know, I can't tell you."
He looked back at the door in concern before beginning to walk around the table, gently patting Isaac's bottom as he stirred.
"Next time, I want you to take the lead, Arthur," Addie said as she kept her eyes on the fire.
"Next time?"
She nodded. "With you two, the way ya are, hell-bent on bein' so smitten as ya are, I'm sure you'll have more."
When he took her meaning, he glanced away, grinned, and nodded.
"And I won't always be around. So though I plan to be there for the next one, I want you to be studied up from every angle, prepared to take the lead. As if I ain't there. So that you won't need me again." She looked at him. "No more squeamishness."
He huffed a little laugh. "All right. Got yourself a deal."
A few minutes later the bedroom door cracked open again.
"Addie," Eliza called.
She immediately got up, and he forlornly watched her walk past him into the room.
"I'm still bleeding," he heard Eliza say quietly before the door was all the way closed.
His brows came together slightly in concern as he inclined his ear to the door.
"Oh, it'll be a while yet, honey. When you got into the water, you mean, it scared you a bit?"
He imagined her nod.
"All right. Not to worry, dear. Here, let me help you."
He looked down at Isaac and stroked the back of his little head. "Think your mama's all right?"
Isaac only yawned and drifted further into slumber.
"Guess I…don't quite have the right yet to wanna be the one in there," he glanced at the door before looking down at Isaac again. "Don't mean I don't."
"Ugh-huh," Arthur whined a sigh with a smirk as he watched himself. "You're so long gone, buddy."
A few days later found Arthur in his full cowboy getup and hat taking a seat beside Eliza at the fireplace while she nursed Isaac.
"I don't wanna leave you," was the first quiet thing out of his mouth. "And I swear to you, this'll be the last time. When you see me next, on Saturday, it'll be the first day things're really different." He watched her begin to grin. "It's all set up, I talked to the preacher," he smiled. "Addie knows where to take you, and what time." He glanced down. "But I have to tell—"
"I know," she said quietly.
He looked back up at her. "They deserve an explanation, and a goodbye, at the very least."
She nodded. "I understand." She shifted in the chair and took a breath, letting it out through her nose as she looked him in the eyes. "Just…don't let him demean you, Arthur. Or try to convince you that you owe him anything."
He watched her throat move when she swallowed as the glow from the crackling fire played across her skin.
"And when he tells you you're an outlaw and makes you feel that's all you deserve," she looked down at Isaac cupped her hand beneath his head, "tell him you're a husband and a father. Tell him you're loved." She looked back up with a chuckle. "Or maybe tell him nothing. But at least tell yourself that."
He nodded and gulped. "Wish me luck."
"You won't need it," she said. "You're the strongest person I know."
He matched her soft smirk.
"And you have something else I don't."
He followed her glance down to his hip and saw the shining metal of his pistol.
"If things go sour."
He slowly lifted his eyes up to her again. "He wouldn't."
"Just make sure you come back to us, is all."
He leaned forward for her mouth. "Oh, you'll see me standin' beside that preacher, darlin'."
"Mmmm…" she mumbled between kisses. "Hurry up, Saturday." When he stood, she looked up at him and quietly added, "Maybe you'll be an example, for the others."
He looked down at Isaac and gently stroked his arm until his fingertip was resting atop his tiny little hand. "Maybe." He glanced at her from the side of his eyes with a grin. "It's a nice word."
.
And with that, Arthur was swiftly swept away to Saturday itself, into Addie's and Eliza's bedroom, as they prepared.
Eliza was dressed in a gown that was near white, a little closer to cream. Simple. A small slit at the nape of the bodice, its sleeves coming down only just before the elbow. Nothing more than a seam just beneath the breasts to act as a high waist. A long skirt that flowed just a little with no gathering or pleats.
It was then that he realized she was wearing the delicate heirloom gown, handed down to her from generations past, that he'd stumbled across in the chest at the foot of her bed, those years ago. Only now, it wasn't folded in his hands. It was alive again, filled with his dear Eliza as she stood barefoot before the full-length oval standing mirror.
As his eyes traveled up her form, he knew she didn't need any added embellishments—no frills or lace or beads. The simple gown propelled forward all her natural beauty, as if a masterpiece set in a frame.
Her soft golden hair was pinned up into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, her stray strands still managing to escape. And she was tucking dainty wildflowers into it here and there.
Not just his heart, but his entire chest seemed to moan and creak and groan for her like the bows of a stranded ship, almost involuntarily launching him forward towards her.
"Eliza, you look… Jesus…" With wide eyes, his hand quickly went up, and he narrowly missed smacking his own forehead as he ran his fingers back through his hair.
He noticed the buttons on the back of her dress still undone, leaving the material hanging loose and open, giving him a full view of her beautiful back, looking as soft and smooth as ever. He came close and slowly slipped a hand past the fabric, anticipating the warmth of her supple skin. But he was let down again by his hand passing straight through her like a mist.
His brows pinched up, and he let out a loud, pained, whining moan. "Oh…this just ain't fair."
"Are you sure there wasn't anyone I could ask for you, to come today?" Addie said as she swayed with Isaac in her arms.
"I thought about invitin' the girls from the boarding house," Eliza said as she added another flower to her hair, "but…Arthur really doesn't like…hangin' round folk he don't know."
Addie eyed her and hesitantly opened her mouth. "I…hate to say it, Eliza dear, but I feel it must be said once: how can you be sure he ain't marryin' ya just because of Isaac?"
With her back still towards her, Eliza almost froze. Her expression slowly grew heavy, the corners of her mouth falling, and her eyes sagging. Arthur could even see how painful it looked for her to swallow as she slowly turned towards Addie.
"No, no, no! Goddamn you, woman!" he thrashed and shouted.
"Oh, honey…" Addie tisked. "I never wanted to hurt you, especially on such a day. Forgive me. Please, forget I said anyth—"
"Don't you think I've thought of that?" Her voice was airy and shaky, her gaze glued to the floor. "It's my punishment, for doin' things out of order—always havin' to wonder." She sniffed. "You know how hard it's been, how much work it's taken for us to get this close?" She glanced up at her and tried to chuckle. "Arthur don't trust, Addie. Hardly at all. And for good reason." Her chin began to tremble. "He's had a lot of hard things happen to him. Real hard things."
She took a breath to steady herself. "All I want is that man's love. And I'll never know unless he tells me. Maybe he'll never so much as whisper a word about love."
"Then why're you prepared to marry somebody you think you might only get so much from?"
"Because I really believe it ain't like that, Addie. I choose to believe I mean more to him than nothing." She nodded to herself. "Maybe it is a feeble, fool's hope. But it's all I've got."
She fingered one of the velvety petals of a wildflower in her hands, a grin growing on her mouth. "We understand each other, Arthur and I. As crazy as that sounds. We're everything the other ain't. And I really do believe we're good for each other. He makes me bold, and I…I bring forward his gentleness." She looked over at her. "We'll both do anything, give anything for our family. One thing I know is he'll stand by me and Isaac. He won't waver."
As the atmosphere stilled, her smile softened. "I love him, Addie." Her eyes filled, and her smiled widened as she sniffed. "So you see, it's in the name of love. It's all in the name of love."
She reached out a hand for hers. "Be glad for me, Addie. It is my wedding day, after all. And mama and papa…aren't here." Her chin trembled again. "You'll have to be both ma and pa to me for the next half hour," she said softly, smiling as a single tear escaped, and she quickly wiped it away.
When Arthur blinked, he was immediately inside a little church. No one but his younger self and the town pastor were there, standing side by side to his left at the altar.
Arthur glanced again at himself where he stood with one hand neatly holding the other. Hair pomaded back, scruff eliminated completely, a clean white shirt, black suit jacket with navy satin lapels and puff tie, a baby blue satin vest, complete with fancy-looking pants ironed to the darts down each leg and glistening wingtip shoes.
"Damn, boy," he guffawed. "You clean up."
"So who'll be in attendance today?" the pastor asked.
"Oh, just my bride, her midwife, and our…s-son…" he added, going quiet.
The pastor nodded. "Well, you've gotta have two witnesses of adult age 'sides me, for legal purposes. Willin' to sign your marriage certificate, you understand."
Clearly beginning to realize he needed one more person to act as witness besides Addie, Arthur rushed in all haste out the front doors to the street, still in his suit jacket and satin vest. When he spotted a young street sweeper, he hollered to him.
"Hey. Kid."
The sweeper looked up at him.
"Uh-huh. You. How old are ya?"
"Eighteen. Why?"
"Can you sign your mark?"
"Sure. Why, mister?"
"Perfect. Come on inside with me," he said with his arm out. "I need you to use you your signin' abilities today. Pay ya twenty bucks."
"Twenty bucks!" he said, dropping his broom with a stuttering clap to the ground. "W-where do I sign?"
He smirked and nearly snickered as he brought his hand to his back, and they began to walk inside. "What's yer name, kid?"
"Billy. Billy Wakefield."
"Well, Billy Wakefield, today you're gonna sign that nice, long name a' yers to the bottom of my marriage certificate to a real fine lady, testifyin' that you saw it happen, and you'll see more money at the end of it than you would after a full month a' sweepin'. Deal?"
The kid nodded profusely as they entered the church.
"Just sit right there, and be sure to, uh…witness," Arthur gestured to a back pew before going up to the front. "Satisfy?" he said to the pastor as he resumed his place beside him.
"Yes," he smiled. "Good mornin', Billy."
"Mornin', Reverend McPhee, sir," he called.
"Look forward to seein' you and your ma and pa in church tomorrow."
"Yes, sir. We'll be there."
A few minutes later the front doors of the church cracked open with a stream of light, and Eliza walked through with a little bouquet in her hand, Addie tailing her with Isaac in her arms.
"Satisfied," performed by Andy Leftwich
you tu . be /lK1LXscisKM
His eyes immediately grew wide at the sight of her, and as he watched her walk towards him, his hand shot up to his forehead and ran back through his hair, making a mess of his job with the pomade.
"Jesus…" When he caught sight of the pastor's stern and grave look, he quickly and seamlessly added, "sss…is so good to me. So, so good to me."
The pastor squinted and half-smirked at him.
Eliza appeared before him and ran her fingers under the folds of his collar and her hands down over the lapels of his suit jacket. "Look at you," she breathed and bit her lip, beaming. She noticed his hair and quickly reached up to smooth it. "My, if you don't clean up."
But his eyes were glued to her. "Eliza, you're…you're…"
"Exquisite," the pastor chimed in, finishing for him.
He nodded with an airy laugh, "Thank you." And he was right. 'Stunningly beautiful' fell woefully short.
He took her hand in his. "You wanted a church."
She nodded and brought her index finger up and ran the side of it down his cheek, and ran her thumb along his chin. With her hand still in his, she took her place across from him before the pastor, though they never took their eyes off each other.
"Hurry up, reverend. Before he changes his mind," she said with a bright smile.
Arthur grinned. "You just take your time, reverend."
The pastor opened the Bible in his hands and cleared his throat.
"As the Good Book says, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.' Marriage is a holy, sacred covenant, not to be entered lightly. Meant to reflect the Lord God's complete union with his people—an intimate celebration of love, in all compassion and grace. Meant to glorify him, and bring joy and peace to our souls. May you save yourselves completely and totally for one another, forsaking all others in body and in heart."
The sounds of Isaac's fussing and crying suddenly began to arise, and though Eliza glanced over in their direction and fidgeted, they did their best to continue over the squeaky noise.
"May you…" the pastor continued, "may you commit and endeavor to honor each other…"
But Isaac's crying had grown too loud.
"I'll…I'll just be a moment," she begged pardon, and rushed to their son, taking him from Addie, turning away towards the wall, and lowering her bodice to nurse him.
When nothing but the sound of Isaac's quiet suckling filled the church, Arthur looked back at the pastor with a small, sheepish grin. "Sorry."
The pastor smiled and lifted a hand. "I completely understand. No apology necessary."
When she was finished feeding him, Eliza closed her bodice, and rested Isaac back in Addie's arms again.
"Remember," Addie began, gesturing to her own chest, "you gotta do the other side too, to relieve pressure, like I told ya."
"I know, but I hardly have time at the moment, Addie," Eliza whispered as she picked up her little bouquet of wildflowers and rushed back to her place with a smile.
"All right, ready again."
"Shall I…repeat any parts?" the pastor asked.
"Oh, I remember everything," she said, looking at Arthur.
"I do too, actually," Arthur said.
The pastor nodded and picked up where he'd left off. "May you commit and endeavor to honor each other, each thinking foremost of the other. May you truly sustain and be a comfort to each other. May you bear one another up, remaining patient, steadfast, and faithful in illness and in health, in meagerness and in plenty, until death parts you. At this time, if anyone has objections, they should speak now, or—"
"Oh. Wait," Eliza said, and Arthur turned to look at her. "Wait, I…"
Arthur's heart thumbed wildly in his chest as he watched her slender fingers pull a little paper from the tie of her bouquet and unfold it with trembling hands.
She looked up and back and forth between Arthur and the pastor. "I hope it wouldn't be too silly if I…" she swallowed, trying to keep her eyes from filling, "if I said something?"
Arthur shook his head. "But I didn't…"
"It's okay," she smiled and nodded, glancing into his eyes before looking down at the paper. When she spoke again, her voice trembled even worse than her fingers.
"To my dearest Arthur on our wedding day." She nodded and swallowed, keeping her eyes plastered down to the paper and taking a deep breath, steadying her resolve.
"Though I'm certain you do not know what a precious gift you are, I'm in awe of just how blessed I am to become your wife." She rocked on the balls of her feet and gnawed her bottom lip for a moment out of nerves. "You are kind and thoughtful and gentle. You make me feel safe and at rest. You love our son with all your heart. You're the best man I have ever known. Truth is, I know how much God loves me because he gave me you. I want to be your home too, the place you find joy and feel safe. I pray that I will be able to show you that joy, that I will be able to make you…" she took an unsteady breath, "as happy as you make me."
"I want to take care of you, in every way I possibly can," she continued. "I know there will be tough days, but this I swear to you now, Arthur Morgan: that I will never give up, that I will choose each day, each moment, to love you with all my heart, no matter what. All I want is to be part of you and for you to be part of me. I know that whatever comes in life, we'll be able to get through it together." She sniffed as the paper crinkled between her fingers. "You are truly my heart's desire, and my soul's delight."
She finally folded the paper again and looked up to see both Arthur and the pastor staring at her with wide eyes.
Arthur himself was at a loss for words where he stood watching, his mouth hanging agape.
Still blinking from being frozen stiff and with his eyes still on her, his younger self cleared his throat. "Let's get a move on, reverend," he said, hoping to nudge him towards haste verbally. But his throat was so dry, he could only manage it hoarsely and quietly. He swallowed. "Hurry it up. Quick, now. Let's go."
The pastor blinked and looked down, closing his Bible and tucking it under his arm as Arthur smiled softly at her and took her hand.
"Y-you already have rings?" the pastor asked.
"Oh, yes," Eliza volunteered. "Yes, we've got 'em on already."
"You take this man to be your husband?"
"Yes."
"And you take this woman to be your wife?"
"Yes."
"Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife."
Eliza bounced on her tip-toes, threw her arms around his neck, and whispered, "I'm yours, and you're mine."
"Yeah…" he smiled, bringing his big hands to her back. "You're stuck with me now, girl."
"Forever? Promise?"
He chuckled. "I think we just did."
She drew back with a bright smile, looked into his eyes, and brought her hand to rest at the back of his head while his rested on her waist. And they leaned in to kiss each other, the soft smack of their kiss reverberating about the four walls of the small church.
She took a breath as he rested his forehead to hers. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile as big as you did just then," she whispered, "before I hugged you."
As he pulled away, he grinned and brushed her hair away from her eyes, letting his gaze wade over her face. "'Cause I…" he smirked and nodded, "'cause I'm finally honorin' ya, the way you should be."
He watched her blissful, soft smile grow. "I was thinkin', in a couple months, after you're all healed and rested up, we'd head up the mountain." he said quietly, for only her to hear. "There's a little cabin I know of, with quite a view. Won't be much of a honeymoon, with a baby around, but—"
"It sounds perfect," she beamed, bouncing on the balls of her feet again.
And when Arthur woke to the cold morning chill, he lied there still for a few minutes, aching and stinging and willing the world around him to be the dream instead.
"I hope I'm in your dreams
The way you are in all of my mine.
You got a love so fine.
I wish that I could make you mine.
.
Won't you sit down, you know I love you, honey,
And you look so tired.
I know it's hard, we're thrown into this life
And one day we must die.
.
But that river will flow on
Even after we're all long gone.
Yes, that river will flow on.
Won't you take me with you before I'm one?
.
Then I walk into the room and there you sit,
There you sit and you're so lonely and quiet.
Well I can't help but stare.
Oh I love you, and it just ain't fair.
.
But that river will flow on
Even after we're all long gone.
Yes, that river will flow on.
Won't you take me with you before I'm one?"
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- Sierra Ferrell, "In Dreams"
you tu . be /6fPqmceCf90?t=12
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Dear Readers,
I really really hope you enjoyed this chapter. 💘💞💓
Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends, and love to all.
- Rosie