L
She's everything I can never be. It's all I think as I watch her sleep. She's also Hell, and taming Hell is a job for the Devil. Right now, I feel like the Devil—stealer of innocence, breaker of rules, keeper of lies.
"Lisa …" She stretches her arms above her head, arching her back.
I remain on my side, propped up on my bent elbow, admiring the way the early morning light dances along her fair skin.
Jennie's blue eyes flutter open, making her look ethereal with her hair fanned out around her on my white sheets. I grin, fighting with the guilt I feel for not feeling more guilt over what happened last night.
"Good morning." I press a featherlight kiss to her lips.
She smiles and it chases away all the misplaced guilt. I do believe we are meant to be … something. I just feel bad for her that she's destined to experience this part of life with me. As long as I'm tethered to my own unfortunate fate, I can never give her the life she deserves.
And Jennie deserves everything.
"I love you, Lisa Pranpriya Manoban."
I grin, a really damn big one. It takes superhuman force to not jump on the bed and bang my chest. This girl in this moment is mine, and I'm over the fucking moon about it. I don't know if I'll have a job on Monday, or if she will hate me tomorrow, but right now … we are perfection.
Jenlisa.
"Say something." She bites her lip, concealing her grin as she pulls the sheet up to cover her breasts. "Don't just stare at me with that cocky grin, looking all perfectly messy and utterly intoxicating this morning."
My grin intensifies as my fingers brush away a few strands of hair from her face.
"Seriously … Say. Something. I haven't woken up in someone's bed before. I don't know what the protocol is. Do I get dressed and leave? Should I not have stayed? Do we have sex again?"
"I love you." Pulling her into my arms, I bring our naked bodies flush. She nuzzles her face in my neck and slides a leg between mine.
"I won't let you get fired."
"Shh …" I kiss her head, tickling her back with my fingertips. "We'll deal with your guidance counselor later. She's kind of a dick anyway. Today we're—"
"Jenlisa." She giggles.
"Yeah."
"Was it …" She pulls back just enough to see my face. "Good? Last night?" Worry wrinkles her nose. "I mean, I just sort of lay there while you um … did your thing. Because it um …"
"Hurt?"
Rolling her lips between her teeth, she nods.
"I'm sorry. Was I too rough? I tried not to be, but it's also really hard to go slow at a certain point."
"No. It's …" She shakes her head.
I love that my untamed Hell has fire in her cheeks, that our intimacy makes her blush. I love how a woman who could rule the world surrenders her confidence to me—trusts me with her complete vulnerability.
"I'm worried you didn't enjoy it."
I exhale a laugh, eyes widening. "Jennie, you don't have to worry about that."
"But I do. I just laid there trying not to grimace. In my mind, I was so turned on by what we were doing. You inside of me. Us. But my body refused to cooperate. I just watched the clock, counting down the minutes until it was over. That's not sexy, Lisa. It's like having sex with a corpse."
Rolling onto my back, I chuckle, covering my eyes with my forearm. "I haven't had sex with a corpse, so I can't confirm or deny anything, but I'm inclined to say it was not at all like that."
She rests her head on my chest, tracing the outline of my abs. "Well, you were incredible. Dare I say the best I've ever had?"
I laugh, smoothing my hand over her hair. After a few moments of silence, I ask the question. "What happened with Haruto?"
Turning her head, she drops light kisses to my chest before peering up through her long eyelashes at me. "I said no."
"You said no …" My mind plays with the meaning behind her words. "Did he ask?"
She rolls her chin against my chest, side to side. "Not exactly. It just sort of naturally went in that direction."
I hate hearing this, but not knowing will eat me alive. "How far, Jennie?"
On a slow blink, she returns her gaze to my chest. "Pretty far."
My stomach tightens, and I have to remind myself that I pushed her away. "But he stopped the second you said no?"
She nods, regret pulling at her brow.
"Then that's all that matters."
Jennie scoots up, lining her body on top of mine, grinning when she feels my uncontrollable dick stiffen beneath her. "That's all that matters?" Her face hovers over mine, canted a fraction to the side.
"Yep."
She shakes her head. "That's Ms. Manoban talking. My Lisa would need to know every detail."
"Then your Lisa is an idiot."
"Careful … call her names like that and you'll have me to deal with."
I smile. "Oh, Jennie … I thoroughly enjoy dealing with you." My hands slide down her naked body, palming her ass.
She wrinkles her nose, giving me another head shake. "No dealing with me today. Too many parts of my body have been dealt with a little too much in the past twenty-four hours. I'm going home to shower, numb the pain with a tasty snack, and binge-watch Riverdale while wolfing down a bag of chips."
I hate that she's leaving me to go get high. I also hate that she has pain that requires her to crave the numbness that marijuana provides.
"On the stairs … did I hurt your back?"
"No."
"Jennie …"
She brushes her lips over mine and whispers, "The stairs were my favorite part."
I grin while cupping the back of her head and kissing her. "Well, you were my favorite part."
Jennie giggles. "I should get going before your dad wakes up." Easing off me, she sits on the edge of the bed and hisses in a tiny breath.
"Sorry." I don't know what else to say.
Glancing over her shoulder, she returns a half smile. "It's only partly your fault. Angelina worked out that area pretty good before dinner." She stands.
We stare at the streak of blood on the bottom white sheet.
"That's embarrassing." She cringes, trapping her lower lip between her teeth.
It kills me to see her flushed with embarrassment over this. "It's beautiful."
Her gaze finds mine. I sit up, swinging my legs off the bed while pulling her to stand between them. Jennie rests her hands on my shoulders, gazing down at me like I'm her whole world. And I want to be that for her, but it comes with this huge responsibility that scares the living hell out of me because I don't want to ever be her disappointment—but that's inevitable.
"It's beautiful," I repeat, pressing a soft kiss between her breasts.
Her fingers slide up my cheeks and into my hair, caressing my scalp.
My mouth navigates to her breasts, taking the utmost care to be gentle with her. "It's us …" I softly blow on her wet nipple, eliciting tiny bumps along her skin. "It's Jennie and Lisa." Moving lower, I trace her navel with my tongue before continuing south. "It's life …" The tip of my tongue finds her clit.
"Lisa …" She breathes, curling her fingers around my hair.
"I'm not going to hurt you," I whisper over her skin, working my way back up her body. I'm just showing her that I can be gentle. When she leaves, I want her to crave my gentle touch, not fear that every time will feel like the first.
She bends down and kisses me, framing my face with her hands. "I hate you for being with…" her throat bobs "…other women when I promised I'd find you."
"I hate myself too." My chin drops to my chest. They weren't just a means to fill a sexual need; they were a way to try and forget about Jennie. I'm so fucking stupid because this woman is eternally unforgettable. How could I not know this?
"But I love you more." She slides her finger below my chin and tips my head up to look at her.
I don't deserve her, and time will remind me of that. But right now, I want her and that's all my selfish ego cares about. "I love you too." I stand, looking down at my beautiful Jennie. The pad of my thumb traces her lower lip. "I'll get the rest of your clothes. I think they're near the stairs."
A blush crawls up her neck. I'm totally good with her thinking of us and what I did to her every time she sees a flight of stairs. I know I sure as hell will think about it.