Chapter 7

It had been a very long and stressful few days for Nathan. From the trial yesterday to the funeral this morning, Nathan was feeling emotionally and physically exhausted.

As he was riding back to Hope Valley, with Bill, the events of the last few days weighted heavily on his mind.

Yesterday's trial had gone in much the way that Nathan had anticipated it to go. It was decided that both Elias and Jenny would be going to prison. With the final verdict being that Elias would serve his time for 5 years, on robbery charges, while Jenny, his sister, would be facing a much more serious verdict, due to involuntary manslaughter and interference of the law.

On one hand, Nathan had felt so sorry for Jenny. He knew that she hadn't meant to kill anyone, and that she only wanted to scare them. Bill had testified to that, when he had spoken on her behalf, during the trial. He told the jury that she was backing down, and that it was only when the other mountie pulled his gun, that Jenny fired own her gun. It was out of fear and self-defense that she had shot Anderson. That fact gave her some lenience, as the jury sentenced her to 20 years in prison.

However, Nathan also knew that her sentence was a very small price to pay for costing a man his life. Jenny's own conscience and guilt were sure to keep her captive for the rest of her life.

As Nathan's thoughts shifted to the young mountie's funeral, earlier that day, a buildup of emotions threatened to escape from him. Not only was he still dealing with immense guilt, from failing to stop the bullet, but he was also thinking about Anderson's family. Nathan couldn't even imagine what they must have been going through. He could barely look at them, during the funeral, out of fear that he might not be able to keep it together.

Then suddenly, as if he had been hit by a train, Nathan's heart broke. It was in that moment, that he had realized that this was exactly what Elizabeth must have went through with her late husband, Jack.

Barely being able to hold back his tears, Nathan called over to Bill, who had been riding silently next to him, and said "I need to take a break, would you mind going on without me?"

Recognizing Nathan's vulnerable state, Bill agreed "I can do that. It's been a rough few days, and I think we could both use some time to process everything. I'll leave you alone with your thoughts"

"Thanks, Bill!" Nathan responded distantly.

"Don't mention it," Bill replied, as he took off in a gallop.

Stopping in a grove of trees, Nathan jumped off of Newton and tied his horse's reins to a tree. Then he sank down into the grass, his grief overwhelming him, as tears spilled from his eyes. Nathan couldn't hold it in any longer.

These last few days had been horrible, to say the very least, but the worst part of it all was realizing, just then, how serious the situation must have been for Elizabeth.

Up until this point, Nathan had been so focused on his own emotions, that he hadn't been able to fully grasp how hard it must have been for her. No wonder she had ran and cling to him, after she realized that he was alive. It must have brought back painful memories of Jack, and what it had felt like for her to lose him. She never got a second chance to embrace Jack, the way that she had with him.

Nathan couldn't bear the thought of Elizabeth having to endure that horrible and painful fate.

Going to the mountie's funeral, today, had given Nathan a whole new perspective into what it must be like to be a family member of a mountie. That thought made things all too real for him, as he thought about his niece, Allie.

No wonder Elizabeth was so strong. She'd been through an unspeakable loss, which had taught her to "look before she leaps", as Nathan remembered Bill putting it.

What would have happened to Elizabeth, if it had been him in that wagon? Nathan didn't even want to think about it.

As tears continued to fall down his face, Nathan bowed his head. He knew only God could comfort their broken hearts.

The sun was going down, as Bill started a fire. He had been headed back to Hope Valley, when the sky started getting dark. Feeling too tired to travel any further, he decided to make camp for the night, and then start back home early in the morning.

It had been a few hours, since he had last seen Nathan. Bill understood why Nathan had needed his space, but he decided to slow down his pace, anyway, in hopes that Nathan might eventually catch up with him.

Bill didn't like the idea of leaving Nathan out there alone, during such a difficult time.

Although Bill wouldn't admit it to anyone, he had grown to really like and respect Nathan, both as a person and as a mountie. At first, it was difficult for him to accept Nathan, due to the fact that Jack had been like a son to him. He didn't want another mountie to take Jack's place. However, as he got to know more about Nathan and saw his character, Bill grew to like him even more.

In fact, Bill was thrilled when he found out that Nathan was interested in Elizabeth. He saw the way that they interacted with each other, and he knew that he could trust Nathan with Elizabeth's heart.

That's why he had been so adamant to find out who had brought Elizabeth flowers, that one time. He had hoped that it would be Nathan. Although Bill knew that Lucas was also interested in her, he didn't think that Lucas was the right man for Elizabeth.

She deserved a man who would take care of her heart, and one who could understand her pain, while still being able to help her move past it. Plus, he had seen the way that Elizabeth's face lit up, whenever she was around Nathan. Bill was confident that Elizabeth would be safe with him, and that she'd never have to question his intentions.

As Bill was getting the fire going, he heard a noise in the distance. Turning to face the direction, where the sound had come from, he saw a horse and Nathan's profile coming in the dark.

"I was hoping you'd catch up sooner or later," Bill called out to Nathan.

"Bill? What are you doing here? I thought you'd be back in town, already. I saw the fire and thought you might be a drifter."

"So did I, but it was getting late, so I thought I'd rest up for the night and get an early start in the morning."

With a look of amusement and surprise, Nathan dismounted his horse and tied Newton to a nearby tree, next to Bill's horse.

"Bill, I appreciate the sentiment, but you didn't have to wait for me. You could have been back hours ago..."

"I know, but it didn't feel right. I wanted to make sure that everything was good with you, before we got back to Hope Valley. I know you needed time to process everything, but it's also important to be able to talk about your feelings, as well."

Nathan lifted his brow, at that comment. "I'm fine, Bill. Really!"

"So you've been saying... but I'm not convinced. You've been through a lot these past few days, and I can tell that it's taken a toll on you. You don't have to face this alone, Nathan. I was there, the same as you, and it scared me too. The only difference being that I wasn't the one who almost got shot."

Taking a seat by the fire, Nathan took in deep breath, before slowly releasing it. Then pausing to get his thoughts together, he decided to unburden his heart.

"Bill, the truth is that I just can't stop thinking about Elizabeth, and what it would have meant for her if I had been the one who was shot. At first the only thing that I could think about was myself, and how much guilt I felt for not being able to prevent the incident... Then, after the funeral today, things changed. All I could see was the unimaginable grief that death causes. Suddenly, all of my fears shifted to Elizabeth and the pain that she must be feeling, from losing Jack. That's when I realized how much this experience must have affected her. She had thought that it had been me in that wagon, until she turned around and saw me walking towards her. I think the fact that I was alive must have stirred something inside of her, which caused her to run to me like that. I've been wondering if maybe it was because she never got that closure with Jack..." Nathan's voice trailed off, as he took a moment to regain his composure.

Bill remained silent, letting Nathan process his feelings.

"Bill, the last thing I want is to be a reminder of all that Elizabeth lost with Jack. I can't do that to her. I just can't! I asked her to have dinner with me, before we left for the trial, but now I'm thinking that it was a bad idea. I should have never thought that she could feel something for me, a mountie, after she lost her husband to the same job. It's just too much to ask out of her, and I'm not willing to let her risk her heart, in that way again."

Once Bill could tell that Nathan was done sharing, he offered up some advice.

"First of all, that's a lot to take in, all in one day… Those are some very loaded statements that you just made. While I can understand why you said them, I don't think they're necessarily correct, at least not all of them. Going to that funeral today brought up a lot of emotions and memories for me, as well. It made me remember my friendship with Jack and how hard it had been to lose him. Nathan, Jack was like a son to me and, after he died, I promised myself that I would always look after Jack's family, as if they were my own children. It's because of that relationship, that I feel so protective of Elizabeth and her son."

Bill paused, before continuing.

"Now, Nathan, I need you to listen to me very carefully here. This is important! While it's true that both you and Jack share the same profession, that doesn't make you his replacement, in Elizabeth's eyes. There's so much more to a man than his job title. I knew Jack very well, and I can tell you, with all certainty, that the only similarities between the two of you are your professions and your selfless care for others. Other than that, you and Jack are two very different people. That being said, I don't think that it's unfair for you to want Elizabeth's affections. Elizabeth is beautiful person, and you'd be crazy to not recognize that. I think you know that I'm very much in favor of the two of you getting together. While it is true that Elizabeth never got that closure, after Jack's death, I don't think that her embrace, with you, had anything to do with Jack. All she saw in that moment was you. Nathan, I can tell that you make Elizabeth happy, and it's not because you wear a red surge, like her husband. You bring a new light to her, that I haven't seen in a long time. Trust that what you're feeling for her is enough and don't sell yourself short. Just because Elizabeth lost her husband, that doesn't mean that you should back away from her, simply because you're afraid that she'll lose you too. There are no guarantees, in this life. Don't let that fact keep you from finding happiness. You both deserve the best, and I believe that you've already found that, in each other. Take a chance, with that dinner, and see where it goes from there."

Nodding his head, in understanding, Nathan responded.

"Maybe you're right... but even so, she never even gave me a response. After I asked her, I could tell that she was little unsure of how to respond, so I told her to think about it and then let me know. Bill, what if she says no?"

"Give her some time to think it over. I have no doubt that she'll say "yes". I've seen how much she cares for you... You just have to trust the timing, Nathan."

The dinner rush had just ended, as Lucas was sweeping the floors of the Saloon. It had been a relatively slow day, with customers only populating the place during dinner.

After the events of the last few days, Hope Valley had become a much quieter place, with very little foot traffic. Everyone seemed to be on edge. Most of Lucas's boarders had left, after the incident, and his only customers seemed to be locals.

Lucas didn't really mind the quiet though. It had been a rough few days for him, and he welcomed the chance to take a breather. Not only was he knee deep into research, regarding the oil business, but he was also very distracted by thoughts of Elizabeth.

He kept replaying the events of their lunch yesterday, over and over again in his head. He had sensed that she had felt very uncomfortable around him. Not to mention the fact that she had conveniently given her students an early recess, in order to cut their meeting short.

That fact had kept his mind spinning all day.

It had hurt Lucas that Elizabeth couldn't just be honest with him about it. Although, he had understood the reason why. In fact, he hadn't been exactly truthful with her either. He had used their meeting as an excuse to try and gain her affections. He didn't want to let her apparent feelings for Nathan, get in the way of his chances with her.

Lucas realized, now, that had been a cowardly move. For someone who had been trying extra hard to be a gentleman and treat her with respect, he knew that certainly wasn't the way to go about it.

Just then, as Lucas finished sweeping the floors, the door to the saloon opened and his thoughts came to an immediate halt. There before his eyes stood Elizabeth, with a very serious look on her face.