As usual, the doctor didn't ask any questions. He just worked on the blonde as Kaiba sat down on a chair in the right outside the room, his heart threatening to beat out of his cheat. Though this was technically a house, not a clinic or a hospital, doctor Takibi insisted all 'loved-ones' stay outside so he could focus on whatever highly illegal medical things he was doing inside. Kaiba trusted the doctor fully. The CEO was the one who funded this entire 'clinic', after all and made sure that everything was hygienic and of good quality. He had done countless research on every single item he had bought for the place.

The brunette's hands were shaking in his lap. His mind had gone completely blank since he saw the scene at the apartment. All he could now was sit there and helplessly let it replay in his mind over and over again. He knew Jou would be alright, but what he saw was…

"Mr. Kaiba? He's going to be alright sir. He had some anal tearing and cuts. I treated them right away then did some tests to see if there was any internal damage. He had two bruised ribs, but, luckily, none were broken. The brain scan came back clean. There is no bleeding there. Am I right in assuming that he cannot afford to treat his eyes?" the doctor asked. Kaiba remained seated, too shocked and exhausted to get up now that all the adrenaline had left his body. He almost sighed in relief at the doctor's words...that is, until he heard the last question.

"What about his eyes?" Kaiba asked, not understanding how a ra-what he saw could affect someone's eyes.

A long and painfully detailed discussion later, Kaiba slumped in his chair, shaking his head at himself. He didn't know. He couldn't blame himself. It wouldn't make any sense. Yet, he still did.

How could I not have known?

"You can fix it, then" Kaiba asked when the doctor finally said it was too late for laser treatment, but that surgery could save the blonde's vision.

The doctor took in a sharp breath and looked Kaiba in the eyes.

"Mr. Kaiba, with all due respect, the surgery is very expensive. I could do it, but I'd rather not. We treat people who are in dire need and cannot afford medical care. It wouldn't make any sense to do this. He could live without his sight. The money needed to do this procedure could easily cure thousands of-"

"I don't think you understood me. You are going to fix it immediately. I want Jounouchi Katsuya coming out of that room with vision better than mine. Is that clear?" the brunette yelled, angry that the doctor wasn't taking this seriously enough. His puppy wouldn't go blind. He couldn't. His beautiful, wide, honey-colored eyes deserved to see the world, not eternal there was a way to fix it, it would be fixed. Nothing could change the CEO's mind about that. Jou could live without his sight, but Kaiba didn't want him to. He would fix it, "I'll pay you the exact amount so we could continue offering the same services to others who need it, but I want this done."

At that the doctor perked up and firmly said "Yes, sir." he stopped before going into the room, though, turned and handed Kaiba a neatly folded, kind of heavy note that said 'Seto'.

"I've thrown away the bloody clothes as you've suggested. This was in the pocket," the doctor said before going back into the operating room.

Kaiba furrowed his brows as he held the note that was folded into fifths for a second, before unfolding it in lightning speed. Was this it? Was Jou finally explaining why he left Kaiba? The brunette needed answers. He needed to know. It never occurred to him that what the note held could be far more devastating than every assumption Kaiba had already come up with. Though Kaiba realized that as he unfolded the last crease and a new razor blade fell from inside it and clattered on the floor at his feet. The brunette picked it up with the same shaking hands and threw it into the nearest trash can, not wanting to think about what it could have been used for. He wouldn't...No. Right? He wouldn't do that. The brunette's eyes snapped to 7 A5-sized papers in his hands, desperate for some answers, ANY answers that didn't confirm his current suspicions.

Seto,

Hey. I like calling you that. I wish I had done it more often. Maybe I did. I don't know how long we spent together after I wrote this note. Maybe I finally got up the courage to ask you if I could call you Seto during that time. I hope we stayed together for long. Does that make me a terrible person? Knowing you'd probably be hurt when I...killed myself? I didn't plan for it to end like this, Seto. The world decided that for me.

Maybe you won't understand, but I am going to try to explain it to you anyway. You just stormed out on me when I asked if you'd be okay with me going abroad. I'll take that as a 'no'. I am starting to wish you hated me again. That way, it'll be easier to leave knowing I am not wanted, because that's how I always felt before I met you. No one ever really valued me, Seto. That guy I told you about wasn't the only one. As you've probably already guessed, I didn't just work as a waiter at Cheesy Crisps. I had two jobs: 1) wait tables, 2) suck the boss off during my lunch break. I don't know why they arrested him, though. He was a little rough, but he never forced me. He just said that I'd lose my job if I didn't cooperate. Okay...maybe that could be seen as force because I needed the job. I didn't really need the job towards the end, though. I had already been fired from my two other jobs, which made having the third one kind of useless. I was too beat up and tired to pleasure the other two bosses, though, so they both sacked me. Mr. Mazuki was kinder than them. It wasn't bad luck that got me in those positions, though, Seto. I walked into those three jobs knowing exactly what would be asked of me.

Are you still reading this? I'd be surprised if you are. I would've chucked it by now. I guess, in death, even a whore's last words could be seen as important. Or maybe I am not a whore. Looking back, everything I did was for nothing. Every table I waited, every boss I pleasured, every pleading and groveling I ever did to get or keep a job was just...for nothing. So, I sold myself for nothing. I think even a whore would look down on me at this point. The day I found out I was going blind, I walked around the streets for a bit, just enjoying the scenery. I knew there was nothing I could ever do to afford the surgery, so I guess you could say I was wallowing.

It was there that I met Sakura. She was just the most wonderful person in the world. Everyone else thought I was just a stupid mutt. She was the first one to ever really hear me out and comfort me. She took me seriously, and she was a whore. So I guess being a whore doesn't take one's soul away like I had originally thought. Maybe that's how I justified doing what I was doing. I don't think I even thought about it. I just knew I had to do it. She said she could get me something at a couple of places so I could make enough, but that the managers would need 'extra incentive' to hire me, and I said okay. I needed 300,000 for the tests, Seto. I was desperate. You have no idea how frantic I was. Losing my sight just wasn't an option. I know people live blind and go to blind schools and learn blind reading and writing and work blind jobs. But, guess what? They're rich! They're all rich and can afford to do all that. They have connections and can call in favors and make the entire world bend to their wills. What did I have? My mother and sister were gone. My friends...Well, I wouldn't have approached any of them, or anyone else for that matter.

I was already owned, Seto. My body wasn't mine. My life wasn't mine. Even my possessions weren't mine. Nothing was mine. I know you know how that feels. You never talk about your time in the orphanage, but I can already guess how it was. An uncertain future, infrequent meals, constant paranoia, and just feeling so damn useless and hopeless all the time. Well, I've felt that way for the past 19 years and I never wanted to feel that way again. I wanted to be my own person, have my own dreams and my own place and my own life. I couldn't be indebted to anybody. I just couldn't. I grovelled a lot in my life, Seto. I was too malnourished to attend gym class and had to beg the teacher to let me rest on countless occasions. He never agreed. I needed teachers to extend deadlines because I was never good at school and doctor to heal me without reporting my abuse and pharmacists to sell me creams for my bruises even though I didn't have enough and pervert bosses to give me jobs close to my home because, sometimes, I couldn't even afford bus rides. I needed the cops to not arrest me after I was caught stealing a lock for my door to protect myself from him. I needed so many things, so many times and I could never give anything back. I owed so many people so many things that I began to worry that I would need to sell my soul somehow to pay them back. I had nothing else to give. I guess I had my body, but it was already being auctioned off. It's in my nature to feel inferior, unwanted, a burden and a bother. I got used to doors being shut in my face and people taking advantage of my weakness and 'nice' people turning into absolute monsters when things don't go their way. I didn't want to grovel anymore, to feel like I owe anybody anything, or to feel inferior or unwanted. Death would've been better than any of that. I needed to be my own person, Seto. I needed to have my life be mine. If I couldn't...well, then, life wouldn't really be worth living.

Do you understand now, Seto? Do you understand why I couldn't ask you for help? Do you remember that feeling? The feeling of being owned? You wouldn't want to go back to that, right? No matter what the cost? I guess I'll never know your answer. You don't have to forgive me. Just, please, try to understand things from my point of view. I couldn't stay with you. I want to, more than anything, but I couldn't stay with you. The surgery cost too much. It was a simple matter. I waited too long to do something about my situation, but I don't think I could've changed anything. I think I've already been damaged beyond repair. That's another reason I didn't want to ask you for the money. I knew you would leave me eventually. I am surprised you kept me around for so long, to be honest. Maybe you won't believe me now, but really think about it. Would the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company really wind up with the broken, damaged, abused, money-needing, mutt whore? You might want to say I am overreacting, but, remember, I am a good analyzer and I've seen every way our relationship could turn out. With the way things are going, you're going to resent me eventually. After all, what could I really give you? Nothing. Just like I couldn't give anything to anyone else.

Don't you want a boyfriend who could make love to you without crying his eyes out afterward? Don't you want a good role model for Mokuba? Don't you want someone who could actually understand your computer-tech nonsense and help you out with it? Don't you want someone who could go to your fancy dinner restaurants with you? Well, that could never be me. I thought it could for some time there, but things didn't really work out in my favor. The way I saw it I could've asked you for the money then spent my whole life working to pay your back, or you could refuse to have me pay you back which will make me feel like an owned whore again. The third alternative was this, because I just knew you wouldn't let me pay you back and I wouldn't want to kill myself after the surgery and let all that money you spent be wasted, right? I love you, Seto. Maybe that's cruel of me to say, but I just had to say it. You had to know before you buried me for good. I never wanted you to know any of this, though. I really hope you never get to see this note. I don't want you to think any less of me. More importantly, I don't want you to be hurt. But, if you're reading this now, you've somehow found my body. Please don't try to revive me. A life without sight or a life spent indebt is not really a life. Please don't hate me. You'll find someone else. I know you will. You're the best guy that I know, Seto. You deserve the best.

Jounouchi Katsuya.

I did have the best.

I had you.

Kaiba looked up at the closed door of the room where his ex-lover was having surgery and exhaled shakingly, feeling an odd burning sensation behind his eyes. He hadn't cried in years, and it was still a useless thing to do now. He had to find another way of setting things right.

Don't worry, my poor puppy.

We'll work something out.

I promise you.

Just as Kaiba looked down at the pages again, he noticed that the back of them also had writings. There was more. His eyes widened as he read the rest.

You jerk!

I knew it. I knew that you'd be like the rest of them. I can't believe I was actually reconsidering my plans for you. I guess I should thank you. You've shown me what life would've been like with you had I chosen to stay. And it would've been the usual: Jou gets hired for a job he isn't qualified for and the boss forces Jou to do things he doesn't want to do like STAY AT THE FREAKING SECRETARY POSITION EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SEE CRAP! It's my fault. I should've read the damn contract when you gave it to me, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I would've signed it even if I knew about this stupid condition. It was the only hope I had of getting the surgery. Ironic, ain't it? I took a job that was supposed to give me my freedom and now I am your trapped little mutt who has to answer to your every whim. Thanks, Kaiba. I hope you're happy. I almost hope you find this note so you could realize what a horrible person you are. But, what am I thinking? You wouldn't care. You don't care about me or what I want. You're the one with the money. You have the power and you abused it because that's just what people like you do to people like me. Fine. I'll pay my dues. I'll stay until I literally can't, but I am not speaking to you. You've hurt me more than any of them, you know? At least they were upfront about being plain evil. You had to get my hopes up, though. You had to make me think that you weren't like them, and then you show me the truth when I am at my worst. I spent the lousy 500,000 on the tests for my eyes. If I hadn't, I would've thrown them in your face and walked out. I guess it doesn't matter now. Have fun being the devil incarnate.

Jounouchi Katsuya

Kaiba read over that one multiple times, until his eyes started to hurt. Somehow, this short note written in a bout of anger was way worse than the first, long one where Jou carefully explained everything. That's because his puppy was right about everything. Kaiba had been a jerk who was abusing his power over Jou. He never thought of it like that. He thought he was preventing the blonde from making a huge mistake. And...okay, maybe Kaiba just didn't want to see Jou go, so he forced him to stay. If only he had known.

'You've hurt me more than any of them, you know?'

'I can't believe I was actually reconsidering my plans for you.'

'You had to make me think that you weren't like them, and then you show me the truth when I am at my worst.'

"Mr. Kaiba?" the doctor asked, exiting the room. Kaiba frowned. Why wasn't he in there doing the procedure? The brunette looked at the clock and realized he'd been re-reading the letter and thinking about everything that had happened between him and Jou for four hours straight.

"Yes?" he choked out, then cleared his throat, hurriedly folding the papers and stuffing them in his pocket.

"I am done. He cannot remove the bandages for a week, but I am positive the procedure had worked. He'll be very thankful."

I am not sure that's true anymore...

"Thank you," Kaiba said firmly, then unfolded the papers to read them again once the doctor had disappeared inside to move Jou to a 'patient's room'.