Chapter 15.

The moment Cas saw Jules, in the corridor outside their room, he noticed the dark bruise across her left eye. "You're hurt." he said.

"Not really." she said, "Just a lucky swing from a ghoul."

He touched her cheek, where the reddening was less bad.

"Cas," she said, "This is nothing." She guided him into their room with a hand on his shoulder. "I'm a hunter." she said, "I get into fights."

"The ghoul ... " he said.

"Dead. Nobody hits me without consequences."

Despite his concern, he liked that. "Let me heal it." he said.

She looked doubtful.

"Please." he said, "I know you don't trust angels ... no hunter seems to ... "

"Do it." she said.

The damage was insignificant and it faded at the first touch of healing power from his cupped hand. It lingered a while in his mind, the mark of some monster's fist on her face, but at least it was gone.

She carefully pressed the skin under her eye. "It doesn't even hurt." she said.

"Angels can be useful." he said. He kissed her now uninjured cheek.

"I didn't hesitate because I don't trust you." she said, "It just seemed a waste of your celestial powers."

"I see it more as finding a use for them." he said, "Nothing is ever wasted on you. I know you don't need me to protect you on hunts. You're a hunter and a fighter and I respect that, but when you come home hurt, I can heal you." He thought for a moment, then added, "I do that for Sam and Dean all the time."

She sat on the edge of the bed and gestured for him to join her. When he did, she said, "Maybe you overreact sometimes, but it's sweet that you care."

"You were afraid." he said, "Thanks for trying to pretend otherwise, but you were."

She held his hand. "I hate that any of the wreckage from my world hurts you. If it helps, hurting you hurts me."

He squeezed her hand. "It doesn't, since the only thing worse than being hurt is seeing you hurt."

"I let you heal me." she said, "And I prayed to you that time. Progress."

"Well, I hope the healing doesn't cause as much harm as the prayers." he said, "Your sleep has been disordered since then."

She looked into his eyes, her face inches from his. "The last thing you need now is to worry about my battle scars."

"I always will." he said, "I wish I could heal those wounds."

"They'll fade into the background again. They always do. Maybe, one day, they'll stop hurting altogether."

"Dean's haven't. Sam's haven't."

"And yours?" she asked.

"Angels have a higher tolerance."

"Not my angel. You feel everything."

"I'm learning to live with it." he said.

"How did it go with Dean?" she asked, "How is he?"

"Strong, as always. Better than I expected him to be. Every moment he's around me torments him, but he's forcing himself to talk to me, for the sake of our friendship."

"Good. And how is it for you?"

"Dean's alive. That's enough for me."

"So you keep saying, but none of this is easy for you."

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. "My beloved, I never needed easy. It's not easy for him either. We scale mountains together, impossible mountains with sheer sides and little to hold onto. Its kind of our thing."

"That's why I need to be something you can hold onto." she said.

"And I need to be the same for you. Maybe one day, you'll feel able to talk to me more about the things that trouble you."

"Talking isn't easy. It brings it all to the surface."

"It's near the surface now. It's stopping you from sleeping."

"Talking gives it power and adds more for you to worry about." she said.

"It's possible that I can't help Dean. Helping you might make me feel less useless."

"You said Dean was working on his issues. So you are helping him." said Jules.

"I tried to persuade him to open up to Sam. That didn't go well. Everything I say just seems to make him angry."

"Anger, fear and guilt all come from the same well." she said, "Often, the same bucket."

"None of them could be called helpful." he said.

"If I talk to him, I might have more luck. I'm not an angel and we have no history together. Just one rough, gruff, angry hunter whining to another about the way our worlds collapsed."

"Rough, gruff and angry?" he said. He kissed her on the cheek. "All I see is beauty, strength and courage."

"In me or in him?"

"In you. In him. In your whole species. What the angels could have learned from you, had they bothered to spend some time studying you."

"In my world, they were too busy subjugating us."

"Here, they squabbled amongst themselves. Why are angels so stupid?"

"Not all angels."

"Yours is the worst." he said.

"No, mine did study humans."

"It took a long time to understand them." he said.

"I am one and I don't understand them."

"You even understand me." he said.

"Not all the way through, just enough to love you."

"It's more than anyone else managed."

She put her arm around his shoulders. "I'm not the only one who loves you, Castiel. You have the Winchesters, Sarah and Jack. They understand you too, better than I do."

"I am fortunate. I know that."

"We're fortunate. You know how I feel about other angels and there's a reason why Dean is bothering to fight for your friendship. You don't think you matter, but you always will to us."

"I tell myself it's all Michael's influence, but it's possible Michael just stirred up anger that was already there, just as praying to me brought your trauma back."

"It's different. I wish I could explain, but I can't." she said.

"There's something in his eyes when he looks at me. Wherever his hatred came from, it runs deep."

"It's from Michael. He's evil. He causes pain and discord in everyone." said Jules.

Cas rested his head on her shoulder. "It feels so good to be close to you, to be near someone who isn't constantly backing away."

She rested her head on his. "I like this too. We should do a lot more of this."

"We should do a lot more." he said.