Author Notes: Yep, Vegeta's an asshole. He ain't no best buddy to Goku here.

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Part 1 - Control

Chapter 8 - Worries

Dende wiped sweat from his forehead and turned to Piccolo on the Lookout. They both stood on the edge, staring down at the world below with bated breath. Seeing one of the Earth's heroes destroying so many innocent lives in a single instant, Dende had found it hard to concentrate on anything else. He just had to stand there and stare, partly in shock, partly in fear.

Goku had snapped .

There had to be an explanation, but for now he couldn't think of anything to do. He looked to Piccolo for guidance but the stronger Namekian seemed locked in a mass of confused tension, too. If Goku had lost control to such a degree, what could they do about it? Goku was the strongest on the planet, infinitely above Piccolo to say nothing of Dende. He was their protector, the one he could call on if there was trouble in the world, but -

But who could save them from their own hero?

"Dende," Piccolo said into the tense atmosphere. "Try again. I think he's back to normal. See if you can contact him now."

"Ah," Dende licked his lips and shut his eyes, gripping his walking staff in two tight hands. "Right. Let me see what I can do."

Taking a deep breath to center himself, Dende sent his consciousness out into the world. A neat little mind trick he had picked up from being guardian of the Earth. He could feel everyone on the planet in this state, could talk to anyone if they listened.

He could feel the energy of a small butterfly floating on the wind right in front of him. With a tight smile, he sent a suggestion to the little creature. It would end up crashing into Piccolo's turbulent ki if it kept going on its route, so Dende gently guided the butterfly to have it float off in a different direction, thereby saving it from an early grave.

Next, he reached out to the planet and the people. His senses screamed as if on fire, his heart aching for the senseless death of an entire city gone in an instant. It hurt to feel so much pain from people he was supposed to protect, from the survivors who had witnessed a nightmare.

But then he found a familiar ki of warmth and goodness and he breathed lighter in relief. Goku was back to normal. Touching his mind for a moment should be easy now.

"Goku?"

"Ah - who - oh, Dende, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me, Goku. What happened?"

He could practically feel the Saiyan flinch. "You saw that, huh? Sorry, Dende, I wish I knew. Vegeta says it's like my darker Saiyan personality or something. I don't really get it, but I have had this awful headache ever since Beerus surprised me and -"

"You hit your head?"

"Ah - yeah - you think that matters?"

"I don't know, Goku, but if you want, I could try healing you?"

"Oh! Yeah! That would be great, Dende! I bet that would fix everything!"

Dende couldn't help but smile. "Well come on up and I'll give it a shot."

"Right. Thanks, Dende."

Before he could say more, the ki signal he had been focused on suddenly changed positions. He knew without opening his eyes that Goku had used his Instant Transmission to jump up to the Lookout as fast as possible. Still, when he did open his eyes and turn around, he wasn't prepared for the sight of the Earth's mightiest hero.

Goku stood a few steps away from him, two fingers to his forehead, frown on his face. His gi was torn and bloodied, one of the shoulders completely ripped to reveal the weighted blue shirt underneath. Shortly after he appeared, Goku slumped and sat down, crossing his legs and setting his hands on his knees.

"Oh man," Goku groaned. "I must've used more energy in that fight than I thought."

Piccolo turned and snapped almost instantly. "Considering what you did, I wouldn't be surprised."

Goku winced. "Yeah, I guess. At least Gohan and the kids are all right."

Glancing over at Piccolo, Dende tried to communicate to the other Namekian to calm down. Piccolo clenched his hands into fists and turned around, but no more words spilled from him thankfully. He knew Piccolo could get a little upset and tense whenever it came to Gohan, so he probably hated seeing the young man freaked out on any level for any reason.

Dende took in a breath and let it out slowly. Now wasn't the time. Going off of Goku's slumped shoulders, drooped hair, and lowered gaze, he could tell the Saiyan felt just as distraught by the ordeal as the rest of them. Probably more so, if it was true he didn't really know what had happened.

"So, Goku," Dende said, sitting down in front of the hero, "What can you tell us?"

As he began working his healing spells, Goku sighed and answered. "I wasn't aware when it happened because my headache made me black out, but I've destroyed that city. And I think the boys are scared of me now."

Dende frowned. "But you don't remember any of the things you did, huh?"

"Exactly. I don't know what's going on. If I did, I would stop it."

"Are you going to use the dragonballs?"

Wounds healed, Goku nodded, giving a smile that seemed way too forced for someone like him. "Yeah. That'll fix the city problem. Then -"

"Then maybe my healing will help with your headaches and this, what did you say Vegeta called it?"

Flinching, Goku stared back down at his lap. "Darker personality. I don't know, Dende. I still have a headache even now. It's just real subdued…"

Still frowning, Dende pulled away from the Earth's mightiest hero. "Well, hopefully what I've done will help a little. Subdued is better than nothing, right?"

Goku's eyes lifted back to him and the man jumped to his feet with a grin. "Yeah! Thanks a lot, Dende! I guess I'll just stop by Korin's and grab a senzu for Vegeta before heading back. It's nice to know you guys are watching over things, at least."

"Of course."

Responding to Goku with a smile seemed to cheer the Saiyan back up to his more usual self, and Dende watched him fly down toward Korin's Tower with hope in his heart. He could tell Piccolo stood behind him, also watching. That was all they could do for now. Watch.

Watch and hope things would work out.

~!~

No matter how many times Chi-Chi told herself she was worrying too much, she couldn't shake the feeling that something awful had happened. Motherly instincts crawling up to the forefront of her mind because her babies were in danger? Or just a fear of the worst eating her up inside? To say nothing of the emotions destroying her when she thought of Goku.

She could still see the horror on his face when she'd shown him the injury he had caused. Small or not, he'd done it unknowingly . That much she was certain of without any doubt. This headache problem had intensified into a bigger issue, too. The way he had acted around Bulma and Vegeta, asking the most awful of questions, egging Vegeta into a fight. His sparring and friendly bickering with Vegeta was normal enough, but the way it happened this time left Chi-Chi shaking even as she made an effort to stay calm.

Something was wrong with her husband. Very wrong. He had said things felt off. His memory was clearly falling apart, or he was blacking out entirely. Losing moments…

Chi-Chi frowned as she sat at a table in Bulma's kitchen, ignoring the looks from the blue haired woman, hardly paying attention to Videl and Pan. Her granddaughter was in the room and yet all Chi-Chi could do was sit and fret about what might be going on elsewhere. Fret about how her precious time with Goku might be shortened even more for an entirely new reason.

At least, that was all she could do until a new visitor practically broke the door down. Hearing the noise, all three women shared a couple glances and then raced down the hallway to the front door. Fear and worry for her boys fled her mind as Chi-Chi rolled her sleeves up and prepared to take on this unknown attacker. She was the best one for defense with Bulma pregnant and Videl carrying a baby, so she had to focus her mind and step up, no matter how much her heart ached right now.

Reaching the entryway and fallen front door, Chi-Chi froze in her steps. That was no random attacker. It was Krillin. And he was holding a young Marron on his back. Everything raced back into Chi-Chi's mind at the sight of the bruised and bloodied state of the old family friend. It felt like the rug had been ripped out from under her feet.

"Bulma!" Krillin said as he stepped up to the blue-haired woman. "I need your help."

"What? My help?" Bulma exclaimed. "Krillin, what happened out there?"

Krillin shook his head, short black hair barely waving at the motion. "I don't know. I really have no clue, but you're the only one who can help Eighteen."

Help who? Eighteen? Of all people? What is going on? What happened out there? Goku…

Shaking her head to focus her thoughts, Chi-Chi decided to let her motherly instincts take control. Not to worry about her boys. She had to believe that they could handle themselves for now. Instead, she should be more attentive to the poor child right in front of her. If Krillin needed to rush out to help his wife, then someone needed to watch the precious little girl, who looked to be passed out on her father's back right now.

"Where is she? She's not hurt somewhere, is she?" Chi-Chi asked as she moved to pick up the blonde haired girl. "If that's the case, I'll take Marron for you and you two head out right now."

"Right. Thanks, Chi-Chi," Krillin said as he handed the sleeping girl off to her; though Marron was eight or nine now, Chi-Chi could still hold the young girl in her arms with her asleep like this. "Eighteen says she's all right, but she's having trouble moving and she says it's connected to the cybernetic part of her. At least she's awake, though. She's looking after all the other people from the city. Vegeta helped us find any survivors but he wouldn't expla-"

"What do you mean ' survivors'?" Videl interrupted. "What happened out there? Did you see Gohan?"

Gohan…

Chi-Chi shook her head again. No, she couldn't worry. She needed to put her attention elsewhere. Gohan was a grown man now. An adult. He could handle himself.

Oh, but…

"No, I didn't see him," Krillin said after a moment of confused silence. "And like I said, I don't know what happened and Vegeta wouldn't explain anything. But, uh, the city's… it's gone. It's been completely wiped out save for a few that we managed to save. Eighteen got hurt protecting Marron, but I'm sure Bulma can help."

Bulma nodded. "You know I will. We can bring her over here and I'll take a look and figure out what needs to be done. I'm sure I still have those blueprints."

Although Bulma was quick to respond, Chi-Chi found her breath caught in her throat. Hard to breathe. Pain in her chest. A deep ache of fear and worry and thoughts running at a million miles an hour.

"The city's gone?" she whispered through dry lips. "Who could have…? What about Gohan and Goten? If Vegeta was there, why wasn't Goku? He should have been there helping, too, if Vegeta was there."

Her granddaughter hiccuped in the midst of all the questions. A hiccup amid cries. The wailing had stopped but Pan was slow to calm completely, even as Videl rocked her lightly in her arms. Chi-Chi sent a worried glance to the baby before focusing back on Krillin as they waited for an answer.

"Krillin," Videl said into the simmering silence. "None of this seems right. What's going on?"

The short man looked between them both with a raised eyebrow, lifting his hands helplessly. "I don't know. I just know what I saw. Look, it's all right. For all we know the others are fighting off whatever destroyed that city or maybe they're there helping as well and I only saw Vegeta. We don't know for sure."

Before anyone could press for more, Bulma walked over to a nearby dresser, pulled out a container of capsules, and selected one as she turned to Krillin. "Well, no use standing around talking about it. Come on, Krillin. Your wife needs our help, doesn't she?"

"Yeah," Krillin nodded.

The two rushed out of the house then, leaving Chi-Chi to hold Marron with even more questions than she had originally. A sick feeling was settling into her stomach. A deep worry turning her insides.

"Oh, Gohan," Videl murmured. "Please be safe."

Glancing to her daughter-in-law, Chi-Chi frowned and then moved her gaze to the nearest window. "I really wish I knew how to sense everyone like they do."

A murmured affirmative from Videl and Chi-Chi sighed. She didn't necessarily want to train with them or anything. Fighting wasn't really a passion for her the way it was for Goku, after all. But sometimes she did wish to know their little tricks. Would it help her fears to be able to feel the ki of her boys, or would it only aggravate her worries?

Shifting Marron in her arms, Chi-Chi walked down the hall to find a nice quiet room to lay the sleeping girl. A fleeting thought crossed her mind as she brushed back the soft blonde bangs from the child's forehead. An old wish for a girl of her own. A wish better left in the past. Not that she was too old for another kid or anything. She still had some years before that would happen. But it was so unlikely at this point that it was better to forget the old dream.

After all, she loved her boys and she wouldn't wish to change anything about them. Except maybe their fighting love and tendency to fall into danger. She sighed again as she laid Marron on a couch in one of the rooms she had found.

The poor girl was out like a light. She probably had seen far too much for her age. Such traumatic experiences could really cause problems for children, either right away or later down the road. Well, Gohan had turned out fine after all he'd been through. It was a miracle Gohan and Goten hadn't been scarred by all they'd seen and suffered as a child. Hopefully, Marron could pull through in the same light.

"Chi-Chi? Are you in here? You're not hurt are you?"

She gasped at the voice. Her husband had returned. Standing up and turning around to face him, Chi-Chi smiled at the presence of her husband standing in the doorway. Only to drop into a frown at the look she could see on his face, the shadow in his eyes.

"Goku," she said. "What happened? Krillin came here saying his city was destroyed. Where's Gohan and Goten? They're okay, right?"

"That was Krillin's -" The eyes widened, then flinched and turned away. "It's all right. They're all right. Gohan's looking after the boys right now. They should be on their way here in no time."

Hearing good news at last, Chi-Chi felt her shoulders release their tension as she tried another smile. "Well, that's good. I'm glad everyone's safe."

"Yeah," Goku murmured. "Safe..."

Something in his voice, in his mannerisms, set off warning bells in her mind. She pushed them aside. He had told her everything was all right now. They could relax. Whatever had happened, they could breathe and work to fix it. No reason to fret.

His eyes didn't show the same bright hope she was used to or expecting, though. Dim. Glancing around as if avoiding her. Hesitating. A darkness hovering over him, making him slow to act.

"Chi-Chi," he cleared his throat and then sighed. "Chi-Chi, I need to tell you something, but I don't want you to be scared."

Her smile dropped. "Why would I be scared? Goku, sweetheart, what really happened out there?"

Mouth twisting into a grimace, Goku glanced over his shoulder as if checking to make sure no one else was around. When she stepped toward him, hand reaching out, his eyes turned back to her and then moved to the sleeping girl behind her. Slowly, ever so slowly, eyes came back to hers, meeting her gaze as he took a breath and whispered into the space between them.

"It was me."

The words hit and Chi-Chi pulled her hand back only to step toward him. There had to be some mistake, a misunderstanding. She opened her mouth to say as much, except he didn't let her. His words came crashing out, amid a growing sense of panic and frustration and...something else.

"I destroyed that city, Chi-Chi. I don't remember any of it, but I know it happened. The boys tried to help Vegeta and stop me, but..." his voice choked up, drifted off, his eyes dropping to stare at the ground, hands clenching in helpless fists. "I threatened Goten, and Gohan had to save him from me. There's no telling what I would have done if Vegeta didn't snap me out of it."

"You..." Finally she managed to interrupt, to get his eyes on her again, but everything felt trapped in her throat. "Goku, why… why would you do all that?"

"Chi, I don't know. I really don't know," Goku breathed, looking torn when she took a step back, his next words sounding rushed. "There's something wrong with me, but don't worry. I can fix all of this."

"You threatened Goten," she whispered, letting the information sink in before continuing. "Fix it? How?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I will. I promise, Chi-Chi. I won't hurt anybody else, especially not our family."

"I – Goku, I want to believe you. I want to believe it'll all be okay, but..."

A tremor in her voice made it impossible to continue and Chi-Chi glanced back, trying to look away from him. To process the fact that he had actually threatened his own son. Hurting her, almost hurting Goten… It wasn't just a memory problem, was it? Then what was the issue? How did they fix anything if they didn't know why it was happening?

Her eyes found Marron, the precious little girl of Goku's best friend. A child who now had to deal with a traumatic incident because of Goku. Because of her husband. A familiar sickness hit her stomach. The air closed in around her, vision fading. Knees weak, Chi-Chi fell to the floor, hands pressing into thin carpet as she tried to gasp for breath while also trying hard not to cry.

His presence hovered over her, like he was afraid to touch. Afraid to be near her. She didn't flinch or turn away from him. Whatever she thought of him right now, she wasn't scared. She refused to be frightened of her own husband. Especially when he was so clearly suffering to understand himself, suffering because of what his hands had done without his control.

"Chi-Chi," he said. "I'll figure this out. I've never broken a promise before, remember?"

"Yes, you have."

The words came out harsher than intended and she looked up in time to see him flinch back. The torn emotion on his face, in his eyes. Usually so bright and cheerful. Now...shaking. She may not be scared, but he was. Scared of himself.

"Goku," she murmured, voice as soft as she could manage, hand reaching to touch his cheek. "Don't promise me this time. Just… Please don't hurt the boys. They love you so much. I'd hate for them to lose that."

His lips twitched, as if her words had touched him and he wasn't sure how to react. She saw a foggy shine in his eyes and then his arms came around her. A warmth – a familiar, calming warmth – held her close and Chi-Chi relaxed in the embrace, ignoring the tension she normally did not feel from him.

"I won't, Chi-Chi," Goku said. "I could never hurt them."

Tears hit her eyes and she buried herself in his pine tree smell, clinging to his torn orange gi as she cried against him. Too many emotions to deal with all too suddenly. Too much mystery behind this new ailment. Memory loss. Destructive tendencies. Regardless of the danger he may pose now, Goku was still trying to fight the problem. And he needed her. He needed someone to believe, even if he didn't. Him constantly repeating that he would fix it all, that everything would be fine, was both a way to reassure her and a hidden cry asking, begging for her support.

So, she swallowed her nerves and returned his embrace with everything she had. "I trust you."