"This is shit," Penny complained, tossing a bundle of clothes onto her bed. "Everything I own is terrible. I can't wear it tonight."

A week had passed, and it was now the night of Adrian's toilet-meade party. I had been studying medical magic until my eyes bled almost every free chance I got. My notebook of paintings remained untouched this week. As I dressed for the evening, I could almost hear it calling to me from my bookbag, begging to be painted in again; but I had made a promise to Draco that was cemented in my brain. It played over and over like a bad song.

I have to be prepared to heal him. Whatever he needs, whether that be a burn, a cut, a jinx, I have to know how to fix it all. I knew it was a daunting task the second I asked Madam Pomfrey for her recommended readings, and she listed off at least twenty titles, all encyclopedias. Of course, she thought I was studying out of my own interest. My promise to Draco was our secret.

"You can borrow something of mine," Evelyn offered. She was wearing a cream blouse that accented what little curves she had. Otherwise, she was practically a rectangle. She was using her wand as a curling iron on Greta's hair.

Penny scoffed at Evelyn's offer. "No, I can't wear something of yours. It would never fit." She gestured to her chest, which was quite honestly the biggest of all of ours. "Greta, let me see your clothes."

"O-okay," she gestured Penny to her wardrobe, but Penny was already on her way there. She rifled through the clothes. "Ugh, is this really all you have?" She turned around to look at me sitting on my bed. I was ready and just waiting for everyone else. "Is that what you're wearing, Erica?"

I looked down at my denim pleated skirt and striped sweater. "Yes," I replied, unsure what was the matter with it. I had even brushed my hair, and put on a bit of makeup, something I neglected to do most days.

Penny sucked her cheek. "That sweater is a bit conservative, don't you think?"

I replied, "W-well I have a top on underneath. I just didn't want the prefects to see me in the halls and suspect something." That was a lie. I had no intentions of taking off my sweater tonight. It wasn't that cold out, but the thought of everyone seeing me in the tank top I was wearing under my sweater didn't sit right with me.

Penny considered my words. "Shit, that's smart," she said decisively. "If someone sees us looking like tramps we'll be caught for certain."

The boys had told us to come at half past ten, because that was when most people were either out already or asleep. We managed to head over right on schedule, even though Penny changed her outfit three times and Greta almost left with mismatching shoes. We tried to be sneaky, since girls going to the boys dorms was forbidden; but I knew people did it anyway. I kept my wand tucked into the waistband of my skirt just in case.

Penny knocked at the door three times. Adrian opened the door right away, and as soon as he did the smell of something horrible hit my nose.

"Heeey," Adrian greeted Penny, looking her up and down. "Come on in, ladies." We all filed in, each of us being subjected to Adrian's scans. I tugged the hem of my skirt down when I walked by.

The boys' room was the same as ours; stone walls and floors, with four-poster beds with Slytherin tapestries hanging from the walls. There were no windows so the only light was from their bedside lamps and a teal lava-lamp on a shelf. Adrian's roommates were seated in the center around a table and a decanter of some brown liquid. "Well, well," Penny said, "What do we have here?"

"Homemade meade," Adrian said proudly, shutting the door firmly and locking it. "My own recipe."

Evelyn, Greta and Penny all shed their outer layers and took seats around the table, sandwiching themselves between Adrian's roommates, Dimitri and Robbie. Adrian took a spot right between Penny and Greta that I was eyeing, but a seat was left open next to Cade, which I assumed was meant for me.

I kept my sweater on and sat next to the long-limbed blonde boy. Great. He already looks drunk, I observed when he tried to pour the meade into some goblets they swiped from the Great Hall. He offered me a cup.

"Cheers," he said with a dopey smile. We not so gracefully clinked the goblets together, and I took a moment to look into the dark liquid. As I did so, I caught a good whiff- a mistake, I realized. My friends wasted little time in drinking theirs, and I wanted to gag. The idea of ingesting this concoction of old fruits and fermented bread crusts made my stomach turn.

"Go on, Erica!" Cade encouraged, having finished his goblet already. Everyone in the circle looked to me. Penny gave me a silent expression that seemed to say 'don't be the only one out and ruin the fun.' I lifted the rim to my lips, trying not to breathe as I did so, and managed to force down two big gulps. It burned the whole way down. Like drinking mouthwash.

"It's… good," I lied, which made the boys smirk.

"You don't have to lie," Dimitri, the dark curly-haired one next to Evelyn said, "We know it tastes like sink water."

Oh, thank god, I thought. "Then why are we drinking it?"

Robbie, the brunette who had his hair carefully gelled to the side and aftershave on his cheeks, said, "To prepare for the main event of course."

I looked around, unsure what the 'main event' was. Adrian procured a deck of wizard cards; similar to Muggle cards, but with images that moved. "Strip poker."

Greta, Evelyn and Penny exchanged looks of excitement. I tried to mask my nerves, and took another swig from the goblet. My mouth began to get this awful aftertaste, and my body tingled with its effects already taking hold. I whispered to Cade, "This stuff is rather strong, isn't it?"

Cade smirked, seemingly satisfied that I had leaned to him. He replied, "We know. That's why the boys got a head start."

I took another sip. I was in for a long night, it seemed, and I needed all the liquid courage I could get.

As it turned out, I was rather good at poker. I had never played it before, but perhaps there was some kind of otherworldly being above looking out for me tonight, because I managed to sweep the floor for the next hour. I remained fully clothed while everyone else around me was just about down to their knickers; the boys had (somewhat too willingly) removed their shirts, and Cade his trousers as well; and Greta and Penny had both removed their socks, shoes, and finally their shirts as well. The meade did its job, as no one seemed to be the slightest bit embarrassed by this. In fact, Evelyn and Dimitri had snuck off to his bed for a snog and a bit of a grope. A part of me couldn't believe that they were doing it only a few feet away from us, but the more dominant part of me was now drunk, and had little care for anything at all. That was the only reason why I had allowed Cade's hand to stay on my thigh for the past ten minutes.

"Could we play a different game now?" Penny suggested, pressing her flushed cheek to Adrian's bare shoulder.

"Of course. What did you have in mind?"

Penny took a look around the room. The sounds of Evelyn and Robbie giggling suddenly became the main focal point, and I felt like I wanted to gag. Oh, wait, that could just be the meade, I thought to myself. The stupid, stupid meade…

"Greta, finish your goblet," Penny ordered. Greta's eyes widened.

"What for?" she asked.

"Because I need it."

Greta reluctantly lifted the goblet to her mouth and drank deeply. She made a sour face and handed the now-empty goblet to Penny, who set it on its side in the center of the table.

"Let's play spin the goblet," she said with a gleam in her eye. My mind reeled while everyone else smiled. Oh, no.

"I'll go first," Penny declared, pointing her wand at the goblet and giving it a spin. The goblet spun round and round, my vision blurring slightly. I shut my eyes to steady myself, still feeling the unwelcome weight of Cade's hand on me.

"Robbie," I heard Penny say with playful satisfaction. I opened my eyes again and saw Greta looking dismayed as Penny leaned across the table to give her date a kiss on the mouth. Robbie didn't complain. The boys ooh'd as Penny and Robbie kissed for longer than expected, but I couldn't seem to muster the effort to say anything, especially when Greta looked so quietly disgruntled.

"I go next then." As Robbie spun the goblet, I prayed that it would not land on me. It seemed my luck hadn't run out, as it landed pointing at Greta.

"Robbie's getting all the kisses tonight," Adrian complained as Greta and Robbie exchanged a kiss. Greta took her turn spinning the goblet, and it finished its rotation by pointing directly at Cade. Greta raised her eyebrows, looking at me to check if it was alright, but Cade was already leaning over to plant one on her. He kept his hand on my thigh the whole time. I began to feel seriously sick.

"Cade, it's your turn," Penny said, her eyes flicking to me, as if she already knew where it was going to land. I realized then that Penny had almost certainly enchanted the cup. Each spin was too convenient- too predetermined to be random.

I have to get out of here, I realized, my head throbbing. At this rate, my first kiss will be during this asinine game, with a guy that swapped spit with my friend while still groping my leg.

If anyone else was aware of the enchanted cup, they didn't seem to care. They were all too drunk to notice, anyhow.

Just as I expected, the mouth of the goblet pointed right to me. Cade's grip tightened around my thigh as Penny let loose a satisfied "ooooohhhh." Slowly, I turned my head to look at Cade's smile. His face was already too close to mine- and I didn't want it to come any closer.

"J-just a moment," I held up a finger before he could lean in. I groped for my goblet and took another big swig that I tried to make last for as long as possible.

"Don't be nervous Erica," Penny urged, "Just do it."

I set down the goblet. I shifted in my seat, turning to Cade, preparing to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. Cade, unfortunately, had a different idea. His other hand came around to my waist, and suddenly he was holding me in his hands. It was a tender gesture, quite romantic; but I didn't want it.

The only other person who has touched me here…. The thought of Draco came into my mind, along with the realization that the person I would much rather be kissing was, in fact, him.

Thanks to my own inebriation my body was easily persuaded to lean in, and I shut my eyes, imagining it was Draco holding me instead of this other boy. The illusion managed to work until Cade's mouth eventually met mine, and then everything was shattered.

This… is kissing? It's just putting your mouth on someone else's. Nothing particularly special about it at all. Disappointment mingled with my inner feeling of nausea. Cade's mouth was utterly horrible, and tasted like the meade- and his tongue kept trying to break into the tight seal I had forced my mouth into.

I pulled away, my insides tangling up, making me feel like I was about to burst. That was the worst kiss possibly in the history of all time. Cade looked shocked that I ended it so soon. But the lingering feeling and taste of his mouth remained. I had the overwhelming urge to cleanse myself of it.

"I-I have to use the loo," I announced, stumbling to rise from my seat. Cade attempted to help, but I swatted his hand away, and instead used one of the beams of a nearby four-poster bed to steady myself.

"Are you going to be sick?" Greta asked with concern. I didn't respond, my only goal to get to the door and leave this party. Penny was peeved that I was leaving, and called after me, "Erica, don't leave-" but I was already yanking at the door handle with all the strength I could muster. Remembering Adrian locked it earlier, I clumsily twisted the lock out of place, catching the tail end of Adrian berating Cade, "-Nice one, Cade, you made her sick with your twisted breath."

I firmly shut the door with me on the other side. I wanted to be relieved that I was now free of them, my excuse of needing to throw up believable, but the walls of the corridor seemed to pulse before my eyes. Shit. I'm utterly blasted.

I wiped at my mouth with the sleeves of my sweater, but that wasn't enough to eliminate the taste of his mouth. I decided to go to the women's loo to wash my face. It was down the boys' corridor and around the corner. I would have to walk past all of the boys' rooms to get to it from here. Bracing myself by placing my hands on the stone wall, I began to walk clumsily down the corridor. My vision betrayed me, tilting things this way and that, and I was certain that if anyone saw me attempting to walk they would think I'd gone mad. I looked behind me. No one.

The Slytherin boys' dorms were arranged in an L-shaped hall, and the farther you went, the older the inhabitants got; the first-year's were near the entrance, and the 7th years at the very end. I just had to make it past the last of the rooms, and then I would be able to sneak past the common room to the girls' wing.

I honestly had no idea if I was even going the right way. Everything looked the same; grey concrete with dim lanterns dispersed along the walls that only served to blur my vision further. I knew I made a wrong turn when I reached a dead end.

Dammit. I only went deeper into the boys' dorms, instead of leaving them- I made myself turn, and gasped when I saw a black silhouette emerging from their room. I was immediately spotted.

"I thought I heard someone shuffling about out here." The voice sounded so familiar, but in my drunken haze I couldn't place who it was- and a shadow fell over their face, preventing me from identifying them. They came closer, backing me into the dark corner of the boys hall.

"I-I'm sorry, I got turned around," I began to say, but felt ridiculous. There was no reason for me to be here. My heart thumped. This would surely mean whoever it was would report me, and some kind of disciplinary action would be taken; possibly house point deductions, or detention-

The person gripped my wrist. I fell back in surprise, the wall catching me just in time. The person stepped toe-to-toe with me, and I could finally make out facial features. My breath caught in my throat as I recognized the grey eyes and short platinum hair.

Draco's face loomed above mine mere inches away. He was dressed in that black suit of his again, which was what led me to believe he was a professor at first. But this was almost worse than if a professor had caught me. I didn't want Draco to see me like this.

I felt humiliated as Draco studied my face, then lowered his eyes to look down at my clothes.

"It's late," his voice growled softly. "Why aren't you dressed for bed?" I opened my mouth to reply, but he caught a whiff of the scent of meade and frowned. "Have you been drinking?"

I shut my mouth and didn't reply. My eyes only shifted from side to side, practically affirming my guilt.

"In the boys dormitory?" Draco inquired, this question a little angrier than the last. He didn't wait for my answer before demanding, "Whose room."

"A-Adrian and Cade's." At the mention of Cade's name, my voice cracked, and my eyes began to water. Draco's expression hardened, and he leaned in closer.

"Did they do something to you?" he demanded. I didn't know if it was the booze, or my own imagination, but he sounded almost… protective.

"No," I replied, feeling the weight of his stare. "I-I mean, just a kiss."

Draco's grip flexed where he held my wrist. "They forced a kiss on you."

"It wasn't like that. I-I was somewhat willing, but, I hated it," I tried to explain as best as I could to get Draco to calm down. But what I couldn't understand was why he was so upset in the first place. "Why do you even care?"

Draco's lip curled. "Because you're my matron." He paused to take a deep breath, the irritation in his voice growing. "And you're out getting drunk. What if I had needed you tonight?"

I didn't have a response to give. I only sniffled and tried to block out the memory of Cade holding my waist and the way his tongue felt when it was trying to push its way into me.

I stifled a quiet sob with my free hand. The guilt I was feeling from Draco's words shuddered through me. He had called me his matron. That was more than I deserved.

"I-I'm sorry," I said to him as he watched me cry. "I didn't want to do it. Any of it. Truthfully, I only want to serve you."

Draco's eyes widened. "Don't say that."

I didn't know what it was that I said to make him react so badly, but all I knew was that Draco was beginning to pull away. The child inside of me didn't want to let him go, and the woman inside of me longed for something to erase the troubles of tonight-

Draco let go of my wrist. And just as he did, my arms seemed to grasp his shoulders on their own, keeping him close to me. It all happened so quickly, it seemed neither of us saw it coming- I only caught a glimpse of his surprised expression before I lifted my face to kiss him.

I wanted to melt. My god, his mouth was so soft, his lips fitting into mine perfectly. And his smell… my body quivered, knowing that what I was doing was horribly wrong.

Draco didn't allow it to last much longer than a heartbeat. Pushing me from him, he backed away with a look of dismay.

"What did you do that for?" he hissed. His glare was sobering.

I remained glued to the wall, stunned by my own actions. "I-I'm sorry. I don't know… I don't know what came over me."

Draco straightened, adjusting the collar of his black turtleneck. He looked surprised; and a bit offended. I expected him to walk away and leave me alone like he always did. Or perhaps insult me for having the nerve to throw myself at him. But he stepped closer. I waited with my back to the wall for him to say something, do something- but he came to me without saying a word. When our eyes met again, something in his expression had softened.

I wanted to apologize again, but I didn't get the chance. Every thought left my body as Draco placed his right hand on my face, his thumb just barely grazing the corner of my mouth. He took only a moment for us to linger here, hesitating before placing his lips on mine. I let it happen- rather, I wanted it to happen, with every inch of my body. Our eyes closed, and he slipped an arm behind the crook of my back to pull my torso into his. We kissed for one heartbeat, then two, my lips slowly parting to move with his.

It was like my core was set on fire. Kissing Draco was, without a doubt, the most magical thing I had ever experienced. It felt like my whole body was being lifted from the floor from the strength of his embrace. Then, all at once, it stopped.

Draco stepped away from me, keeping his eyes to the ground. I was finally able to catch my breath.

"The deal is off," Draco said in a low voice. "You are no longer my matron."

Oh.

I was without words. But I needed to know why Draco had kissed me like that, especially after he seemed so off-put before. The magic moment we had shared was now dulled by his sudden declaration. I had to know why- why was he breaking our deal?

I couldn't ask him, for he had already left.