When I woke it was with horrendous clarity as if my head had just broken the surface of icy water. Sitting up quickly, I looked out the huge window beside Jacob's bed. The painful memories hit me and it was almost unbearable. Then I recalled the distorted words I had thought he had said. I won't. I promise you.

Taking a deep breath, I threw the big quilt off of me and forced myself to stand up. My legs were too loose for my liking, so I locked my knees and hobbled to the door.

I spent a full minute putting my clothes in order before switching the light on. The brightness burned my eyes, but I just blinked until my vision fully cleared. Taking a fortifying breath, I threw the bedroom door open only to be met by a man who both creeped me out and irked me. The arrogant, smirking man who was one part of the trio that saved me in the forest. Paul.

He was standing there with his thick arms crossed over his chest. Too much of his skin was on display as he was shirtless. Paul was unbelievably tall, wide, muscled and utterly arrogant. Ridiculously hostile with his irritating smirk. I gritted my teeth and demanded, "Move."

He just scoffed at me and cocked his eyebrow up like Jacob usually did. Hot flames of anger began to smolder inside of me. Paul did not move. I snapped, "What's your deal, you creep? Move out of my way."

Paul shook his head. My palm itched to wipe that stupid smirk off his face. I asked hotly, "Why not?"

He shrugged and simply said, "Boss told me to make you stay right here."

I retorted, "Okay, Crazypants. I'm done playing this game. I don't care what your boss wants, move out of my way."

Just as I was at a loss of what to do, a hulking form walked down the narrowed hallway. My breath caught in my throat as I looked on. Jacob was so different. His eyes. As I searched frantically for anything familiar, it was his dark gaze that I held onto. Those orbs were the same rich, mocha-expresso shade I was so used to. Tears sprung to my own eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words would form. Paul snorted as if entertained, so my eyes snapped to him. I mumbled, "Move."

"Move, Paul." Jacob's grumbled harshly. I jumped as the echoes of such a command as it bounced around the little house. Jacob's voice was different somehow, deeper and angrier than before. Raspy, too. I recalled the last time I'd seen him. His voice had sounded just like it did now. It was the night Jacob had been the boldest he had ever been with his gentle hands in the cab of his car. And I had politely rejected him just as Mike came to interrupt us. Guilt threatened to overwhelm my fear and pain.

Paul moved slowly at first. Then, he abruptly shoved passed Jacob. I watched Jacob's eyes flash in anger. Just as quickly as they flashed, however, they simmered. I took a step toward him, needing to be closer as if under compulsion. He made no movements, only stayed standing still. It seemed he was giving me time to take in the physical shock. My Jacob always had muscles, but this Jacob had definition that defied logic. I dragged my eyes over his entire body. For half a second, my eyes lingered on his bare torso. I felt the blush creep up to my cheeks.

I brought myself to his face next. It was the same. Deeply tanned skin with that stubborn, hard-cut jaw. Dimple on his chin. Full lips. Darkly arched eyebrows. When I mustered up the courage to look at his hair, my heart skipped a beat and then fell into the bottom of my stomach. It was still the prettiest shade of inky black. Still shiny and silky, but Jacob's long, gorgeous hair was gone. Gone.

Frowning, I took a couple steps forward, hoping he wouldn't back away from me. Timidly as I could be, I reached up and touched the edge of his hair. Jacob sighed ruggedly. His eyes fall closed. Slowly, I ran my fingers through his hair. Silky. Smooth. And short.

I whispered, "Why'd you cut it off, Jake?"

He mumbled, "I needed to, but I didn't want to."

I insisted, "Why did you have to?"

"It's…complicated." Jacob sighed.

"Explain it all anyway." I huffed.

Jacob shook his head, opened his eyes, and gazed at me. I felt lightheaded as if I was swaying. Blinking, I looked at my feet just to break myself from his intense gaze. It took an awkward moment for me to realize my fingertips were still combing through the short strands at the nape of his neck. I eased my hand out of his hair and took a tiny step back. I whispered, "Jake, I just want to know-"

He abruptly snapped, "I'm thinking. I don't know where the hell to start."

I glanced at him in surprise and quietly said, "No need to bite my head off."

"I'm sorry." He sighed as he stepped backward and leaned against the wall with a hard-smacking sound. "That's what I need to start with: I'm sorry, Bells."

There was a pause before Jacob whispered, "I never meant to hurt you. I had to stay away from you, Bella. It was dangerous in the beginning and still is. I would have come to you, tried to explain, if I could have. I had no choice until now. I hope you believe me."

Biting my lower lip, I mirrored his movements and leaned my back against the wall opposite him. I took time to simply stare at his giant frame. He had always been tall as far back as I could remember, which admittedly, I had not spent much time around him except for the last few months. I vaguely remembered an impression of surprise upon knowing his age when I met him on the beach when I first moved back to Forks. He had been tall for fifteen. He had grown several inches in the months that I had been spending with him. A growth spurt that I attributed to him turning sixteen.

Still, Jacob had been healthy and fit since I had known him. Quite suddenly, he was hard-wired with thick, bulging muscle. It shouldn't be possible to bulk up that much in only a few weeks. I swallowed and glanced around before nervously saying, "A-Are you…um, did you…Jake, did you take drugs?"

He glanced at me and let out a barking cough. "No. I wish."

"What?" I muttered while running a hand through my damp hair. I winced as I pulled on a knot and demanded, "What's going on? What did Sam and his little gang do to you, Jacob?"

"Nothing." He sighed again. "They've done nothing except help me."

"Help you with what?" I pressed, "It seems as if they've got you on steroids."

"Yeah." Jacob snorted, "I can see why you might think that."

"Alright. Not steroids." I replied snappishly. "Are you going to explain or do I have to keep playing guessing games? Are you going to give me riddles until Paul the Jerk comes back to try to scare me even more?"

"I don't know what to say to you, Bella." He suddenly lunged forward. His words were deep and raspy, almost inhumane in pitch. Leaning heavily against the wall, I swallowed and watched in fascination as his bare chest heaved as if he had run for miles. Jacob said, "I don't have the time to say all I want to say. Hell, I can't say all I want to say even if I had the time. I'm busy, Bella, and I was pretty much resigning myself to never seeing you again. You showing up here has changed things. I have less than two minutes before Sam busts through that door and orders me to take you home. This isn't the time for a goddamn confessional."

As the silence rang out, louder than Jacob's angry speech, I stood still in shock. Never before had he spoken to me in such a way. Never before had I seen such a feral look in his dark eyes and an ugly sneer on his face. He was almost unrecognizable. Almost, but the pitch of his voice was as familiar to me as my own. The russet-caramel skin and big palms were the same. Mocha eyes, despite their anger, were the same.

I croaked, "I'll leave if you want me to. Just promise you'll come to me when you have time to talk. Promise me that I'll see you again, Jake."

The trembling tension in his big body seemed to melt quite quickly until he was slumped against the wall once more. Jacob sighed, rubbing at his temples. He mumbled, "Oh, Bells. I don't want it to be like this."

The sound of his voice was like warm, thick chocolate hardening in the cold. It was a hopeless, heartbreaking thing. I took a deep breath, stepped forward, and put my palms on his exposed shoulders. There was a moment of electric charge through my fingertips. Tightening my grip, I tugged until he looked up. I made sure we had eye contact before whispering, "Nothing is hopeless. You taught me that. I'm going to help you, Jake, no matter what."

He searched my face with his dark gaze for a long time. Jacob murmured, "Do you promise? Do you promise me you won't run no matter what?"

"Yes." I whispered back. I squeezed his shoulders, let my hands drop, and stepped back. I said, "I'm going to go now. Will you be safe with…whatever?"

Jacob's lips twitched as if he would smile, but no such thing occurred. There was a pause before he replied, "Yes. I promise."

"Good. I promise, too." I said. I slowly made my way down the narrowed hall and toward the front door. With my hand on the knob, I turned around. Jacob was within arm's reach, standing there with nothing on but a pair of cut off denim shorts. His feet were bare and mud was crusted on his heels. I was confused. And worried.

I cleared my throat and hesitantly asked, "When do you think you can come by my house to talk?"

"Not tonight." He replied lowly.

I whispered, "Okay. Tomorrow?"

He nodded. "Sure, sure. I can't give you a time, though. Could be very late."

I quickly said, "I don't care, Jake. You can show up at three in the morning if you have to."

He snorted, "I'm sure Charlie would appreciate that."

I replied, "Call me and I can walk to your car. Park down the street by the empty lot. That way Charlie won't see it if he happens to wake up and look out the window."

Jacob muttered, "Sounds like you've done that before."

I frowned at his suddenly bitter tone and slowly replied, "Not really."

He sighed, "You better go, Bella. The boys will be here soon."

I hesitated before asking, "And you're sure they aren't the ones who…?"

Jacob gave me an exasperated look as he assured, "Sam isn't the bad guy, Bella. He's a hell of a lot better than Paul for sure."

"Okay." I sighed as I opened the door. I took a lasting glance at the tall, dark boy before me. "See you later, Jake."

He mumbled, "Later, Bella."