The midday sun shone brightly down upon Inkopolis on the last day of the week, though neither Pearl or Marina were jumping for joy. The Inkling was still sleeping like a sea rock, though the taller idol had just begun to stir.
And with awakeness came the memories.
Last night was a life trial that they barely passed, and it was by pure luck. A chance meeting that saved both their hinds. As Marina carried Pearl back last night, she could only imagine all the cruel scenarios her poor daughter and friend must have been through the five nights they had completed. But even in her sleep deprived state, her… weird counterpart's voice remained clear, crystal…
"The best ah can do now is, well, help you destroy 'em. Ah'll send you the details later. Just…" she stood up, "Go on and get! This place ain't safe for anyone no more…"
That place was a threat. Not just to them, but all the poor Inklings and Octolings who visited. It was a death trap, disguised as a family fun festival. Ve had already told her about the poor janitor's fate already, how he was torn limb from limb. Who knows how many more had been crudely slaughtered? Were some of the victims even… children? The very thought made her chest squirm like maggots.
A spit of sunshine caught Marina's eye, causing her to lightly groan. It took a moment to realise it was her phone, shining on the side. She blinked and before she realised had picked it up, unlocking the cute screensaver of a napping Pearl on a Marina body pillow. Hey, she had some weird stuff too so who was she to judge her Inkling companion? Still, there were much more important things that needed to be dealt with. Namely a pizzeria.
She tapped the NSS group chat and texted away.
/
"This needs to end tonight, meet at the Outpost…" Ve re-read the text as she and Marja walked down the road towards the Square, "Guess it was a good thing I got my friends here, huh?"
"Looks like we're getting rid of that nightmare once and for all," Marja chuckled, sipping on her cola, "I'm game, let's burn that place to the freakin' ground. So…" she paused, "Where're we goin' anyway?"
"Just look for the super obvious, not suspicious manhole..." She trailed off as they found said manhole, right outside of Sheldon's shop. "Down here Marja," She slipped through the grates with her Octopus form and disappeared in a splash of ink. Marja hesitated for just a second before following her lead.
About twenty seconds of continuous tumbling later, Marja finally landed with an audible clattering sound on the exit grate. She slowly, gracelessly got to her feet and looked around. Her head was spinning like a waltzer ride, her eyeballs mercilessly rolling her in her sockets.
"Ahh, you made it," came a dour voice, "Welcome to-"
"JUST…" Marja whined, "Just give me a second, yeah?" And with that, she stumbled to the corner of the Outpost. There was a glass orb there, an old man with a bunch of cards outside of it. Marja leaned against the globe and vomited, splashing the orb with light blue ink.
"AW COME ON, YO!" came a voice inside the orb, "YOU JUST VOMITED ON MY SNOWGLOBE!"
"Heh…" came the same dour voice, "I like this squid already."
Recovering from the motion sickness, Marja looked back up at the voice. In front of her, in front of a wooden cabin decorated with scrap, there sat five people. A tall squid with white hair and mint-green highlights, wearing a green jacket, jeans, sneakers and a hat with white facemask. Another tall squid in a pink jacket, shorts, a large beanie with a star on it and shutter shades. A younger girl Inkling in a reflective protective jacket, currently doing that one dance from that Fortfish mobile game. A male Inkling in a similar jacket, with a large black cape running down his back. And finally, Ve, in very revealing, cropped black leather clothing joining them in the ensemble.
"Holy Squit…" Marja gasped, "You're friends with the SQUID SISTERS?!"
"W-What Squid Sisters?" the pink squid blurted out, "We're a totally different group...uh, the Cephalopod Cousins!"
"Smooth, Agent 1," the mint-green squid sighed.
"Here, let me help you Marja." Ve gently led her friend to the group, settling her down between Mrs White Hair and Boogy Woomy. The Inkling blushed hard however, with her brain slowly clicking together just what Ve was wearing! "So, umm, I'm Agent 8, or just 8 to these guys. That dancing girl is 3-"
"Baaaaaby shark, doo doo doo-ddo doo-doo doo doo~!"
"...yeah, she's like that. Umm, the boy next to her is 4 and he's dating her!"
Said boy blushed a little at the statement, "That wasn't… really needed 8. Still, nice to meet you Marja."
Ve smiled and moved onto the white and black haired ladies, "There gals are Agents 1 and 2 respectively!"
"Heyoo~!" 1 greeted happily while the other gave a small smile and nod in greeting. Marja couldn't help but feel slight excitement meeting what she was 99% sure was the original celebrities of Inkopolis.
"And over there by the globe is the leader Cap'n Cuttlefish and in said snowglobe is the Octarian General, Octavio."
Cap'n put his cards down and walked up to Marja with a raised hand, "Pleasur' meeting you Mah- Mark- Maji- hnrnn… difficult name, so I think I'll call yah… Mario!"
"No."
"Fine, fine…"He grumbled to himself before he snapped his fingers, "How 'bout Mags?" He suggested, to which Marja was still annoyed but it was dozens of golden eggs better than Mario. She gave a single nod to it, to which a deep, sadistic chuckled emitted.
"Pfft, another child to die for you sushi snacks?" Came a cold, chilling voice to which everyone turned their attention to the massive Octarian stuck in the ink-covered ornament. His face seemed to be molded into a permanent frown as he glared at Marja. She wouldn't admit it but her fear slowly rose the longer he held her gaze.
"PUH-lease Octo-daddy! You're just still salty us "children" kicked your dumb robot's metal ass!" Agent 3 proudly boasted, leaning down from on top the globe. No one saw her even move. "I bet this cutie could beat you 1v1 anyday, bro!"
Octavio simply rolled his eyes, "Tsk, you just got lucky short stack. When I get out again, you'll know the wrath of my true grooves!"
Agent 2 walked up to the globe, "As much as I love your villain cosplay Octavio, we have more important matters to discuss." She turned her back on him and addressed everyone, "We all got Marina's text, correct?"
"Our phones have been ringing non-stop between 8 and Marina," Agent 4 said stoically, to which Agent 2 shrugged towards.
"Fair enough," she conceded, "But, the point still stands. She texted a large amount of information over, stuff she pulled from the robots and the previous couple of nights. It's big. Come into the Cuttlefish Cabin, we've cobbled the details together…"
/
1,2,3,4,8 and Mags all sat around a massive table, full of documents and tea cups. 3's was full of Mountain Dew, 4 had a deep, black coffee, 1 and 2 had tinici tea while Ve and Marja had normal tea. The latter had to fight back a massive blush as Ve bent over to reach a document that caught her eye, settling back down to Marja's left on the couch. She never realised just how much Ve's usual skirt covered…
"So if Mags would stop being gay for a minute, we'll do a briefing of the situation." 2 smirked at the way the Inkling blushed under her gaze, "This operation will be called "Five Nights at Wahoo World", based off the five nights 8 and Mags did."
3 gulped her cup down in one go before piping up, "SO! We have killer robots as the idols! Looks like there are imposters among us. Very spooky~"
4 put a hand on her shoulder to gently push her back into her seat, "Marina and Pearl did a night shift last evening and with all the information gained from the week, we have come to a conclusion these robots are a massive, serious threat. They need to be destroyed."
"Yeah!" Agent 1 said, looking over the scribbles and documents on the wall, "So, here's what we know. This pizzeria hasn't been active on Wahoo World grounds that long. Like, six months at most. There's no record of such on the company's files, yes Marina stole some of those, the building used to be an old gift shop that was abandoned and relocated."
"And whoever's behind this now slipped into the building, renovated it and no-one noticed?" Agent 4 asked.
"Guess the higher-ups don't care if they're still getting the funds," Ve said, "But this isn't about the money."
"No," Agent 2 sighed, "From blueprints Marina says she was given, the animatronics of us are designed from the ground up as murder machines. They can operate semi-autonomously, have weapons stashed in their bodies and even have the capacity to shove victims inside themselves to be crushed in their mechanical internals."
"...So it's vo-"
"NO" Everyone shouted to the still smiling 3. She merely giggled and plopped back down on her seat.
"Those poor kids," Agent 1 whined, "They don't know they're so close to those who could kill 'em. Though, thankfully, Missing Person Reports from the same time show only Night Guards and Janitors went missing most nights."
"I- Me and Ve can… confirm that." Mags sighed, leaning into her partner's side. That butchered memory would never fade from her life.
"Poor Mike..." The Octoling mourned herself, "S-Still, we need to do something to the robots. And I think we all agree that destroying them is our best- no, only option."
"And find out who is controlling them," Agent 4 interjected, "And why."
"Then it's settled," Agent 2 clapped, "Come midnight, we'll head down there and finish this. For now, we wait. And train. And plan."
"And nap," Agent 1 said.
"And floss," Agent 3 said.
"And get Mags a weapon," Agent 8 spoke up, "She's coming too, right?"
"I mean, she ain't a part of our regiment…" Agent 4 said.
"Yeah but if you're destroying those things, that have given me nightmares for a whole week...I WANT to be there to see it. Besides..." she looked a little sheepish and scratched her head, "Ve is going with you guys. I'm not leaving her side, not after all we went through."
"Heh, you got yourself quite the catch there, 8!" Agent 3 giggled, leaning into Agent 4, "Makes us even!" She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, to which he blushed like a traffic light at.
"Then what'll be your pick?" Agent 2 said, a smile on her face as 1 started to plan possible attack strategies with the now glomped 4, "We've got the latest in Hero Weaponry."
"That is NOT just standard splatters coated in black and green paint, we promise!" Agent 1 giggled.
Marja remained a little silent. And then, a lightbulb above her head, "Oh don't worry. I've got an idea…"
/
"Okay, earpiece check...you hear us, Marina?"
"Loud and clear, Agent 4! I'm ready to guide you all through this!"
"Coms are up and good. Time to work Squidbeak Splatoon. Mission is a go."
Wahoo World. 11:55PM. It was time. The Agents all stood shoulder to shoulder outside of the fated pizzeria. Each one had their weapon and ink tank, ready for whatever threat could be lurking inside. 1 had her Roller while 2 shifted her grip on her Charger. 3 and 4 had their respective Hero Shots, with the former joking how his looked like a P90 from the human days. 8 had an Octo Shot she snatched up during her escape from the underground laboratory while Mags had the Hero Slosher. In other words, a bucket. Callie nervously explained that Sheldon was a genuine weapons designer, honest, on the way over. But Marja had experience with Sloshers - one knocked her silly during the fated match where she met Ve, after all - so she knew they were devastating in the right hands.
4 took the step forward, frowning at all the tape wrapped around the building. It almost seemed like a crime scene, but was deathly quiet. "We're all ready, right? Weapons good?"
3 nodded and grinned, "Let's commit some robot genocide!" And with that, she kicked open the doors so hard one flew off the hinges, crashing into a very unfortunate table. There was an errant pause before 3 spoke up again, "...I'm...REALLY glad we don't have bones. Otherwise I think I'd be in a lot more pain than this…"
Everyone just facepalmed before slowing filling into the building. The place had more tape and warnings on the inside, as if an investigation was still underway. But no one was here. Even the robots weren't on the stage in their usual places. 3 and 4 explored at the front of the group, 8 and Mags behind them with the Cousins taking the rear.
"Good Swordfish, this place is a dump," Agent 2 snarked, "They attached my face to THIS gimmicky stuff?! It looks like the style of those two Idols before we took the role back in the Plaza...what was it, 80's?"
"So many leg-warmers," Agent 1 shuddered, "So many…"
"Yeah, this place has seen better days," Agent 4 sighed, looking over it, "Looks like a health hazard waiting to happen, haven't even MET the animatronics yet."
"Speaking of…" Agent 8 shuddered, "...Where are they?"
Mags had a brief look around the main stage before shuddering a tiny bit, "They are usually on the stage. Cod, even Marina said they were here yesterday." She shared a look with Ve and she nodded with a grim expression, "Something's off here..."
"How about we try the phone?" 4 suggested quickly, stroking his chin, "That usually explains the night, right?"
"Worth a shot, I guess. Ve, can you-"
"GOT IT!" 3 called happily, holding the phone out proudly to the group. She then frowned and examined it over, "I'll be honest, I have no clue what phone this is. Looks old and outdated, like Octavio's fashion sense!"
A voice suddenly spoke out from the dropped phone on the ground. The dreaded voice that had haunted 8 and Mags for five nights straight. "Hmph, so this is your answer to the final night? Looking sloppy already, my girls."
Mags practically growled at the voice, clutching the bucket tightly, "You… You're not toying with us tonight Sallie! This place is going down and won't ever come back again!"
"Really? You ALL sealed your fate simply returning here! This is my turf, these are MY rules! But now? NOW?!" A deep, hollow laugh echoed from the device. A laugh with a promise of blood and death, "I tried to have a nice, clean ending, but you guys came here to end my revenge pre-maturely?! NO! THIS NIGHT, all your ink will spill! Forget 4/20 mode! Forget surviving! You want a fight?! THEN YOU GOT ONE!" She roared, before a beeping sound from the phone. It slowly got faster and louder. Almost like a-
"GET DOWN!" Agent 2 yelled, ducking behind the tables for cover. The others did too, 3 just barely planking behind cover when the phone exploded, sending a deafening boom and shards of phone across the room. Agent 1 curled in and screamed in pain, ears ringing from the sheer volume of the explosion. Everyone lay on the floor for a bit, waiting for their hearing to come back. Mags was the first to get back on her feet, looking over the floor. The tables and chairs were scattered by the blast. But upon the stage, there they were. The four animatronics. Robot Callie, Robot Marie, Robot Marina and Robot Pearl, standing their ground against the Agents. All with angered expressions on their faces, their LED eyes glowing a vibrant purple.
"Holy Squid is that me!?" Agent 2 gasped, "But...I look so fat!"
"And I look like a man!" Agent 1 whined, "What sicko hated us enough to make these things?!"
Seemingly ready, the Robot Marina stood up and opened her back plates. An electric circuit beamed to life before her robot companions were cloaked with a purple glow of energy. 4 and 8 tried shooting the group, but their ink bounced off harmlessly. The robots raised their hands, opening holes in the palms to reveal massive nozzles, from which was released a torrent of sticky black ink.
"Take cover!" 2 shouted, all the agents turning tables to protect them from the toxic substance. There was a faint, acidic smell from the robot's ink and no one was looking forward to knowing what it would do if it struck them. The tables rattled violently as the robots didn't let up, keeping the NSS suppressed. 2 flipped to a side table and shot at her robotic counterpart, only for the animatronic to simply stumble a tiny bit and return fire. "Marina, what are we dealing with here?" She yelled, diving back to cover.
"Looks like my robot can give the others a shield of sorts! You're not gonna get anywhere until she's down. Looks like her back is vulnerable, so you'll either need to flank her or attack from above her." The tech Octoling chipped in, while scanning the other three threats.
"Well, I'm kinda stuffed then 'cause my weapon shoots straight as an arrow!" Agent 2 crowed.
"And I can't get close enough to use my Roller!" Agent 1 called out, neatly dodging a blast of black ink - it started to eat away at the floor with a fizzing sound, causing her to breathe erratically.
"And THIS…" Mags grinned, bringing out the bucket, "Is why I picked the bucket!" With a deft toss, she slung a wave of cyan ink across the arena, arcing over the robotic Marina's head and splashing on the wall behind her; some of the splashback got into her suit, and she suddenly started fizzing with electricity as the ink ran amok in her circuits.
3 beamed, "Nice one Mags!" but quickly paled as the three robots aimed for the now exposed agent, "Guys, covering fire now!" 3 and 4 focused fire on the Callie bot, forcing her to raise an arm to cover her eyes. 1 rushed the Pearl animatronic and swung at her with the deadly Roller. The small animatronic raised its arms to block the strike, but struggled under the surprisingly strong Inkling. 2 and 8 then coordinated against the Marie bot, attacking her from both sides that she struggled to pick a target.
Mags meanwhile spilled more ink across the floor as the robotic Marina was dazed, then swam across the maelstrom of black sludge to get behind her. With another strong shove, Mags smacked the robot with another barrage of ink across her back, causing the robot to start smoking and whining and spasming around wildly. She reared up a powerful kick, releasing it with such intensity that the robot Octoling's head tore clean off and bounced across the room. The robot sputtered its last and fell to the ground, the aura beyond the others slowly vanishing. Mags, very quickly realising she was in point blank tar range, screamed, "NOW! OPEN FIRE!"
The agents, all too eager to push their advantage, started an all out attack against the Idol Robots. The remaining three slowly got more and more banged up as Ink, bombs and a Roller smack started to wear them down. Pearl suddenly jumped way back, farther than anyone expected, and opened up her chest plate. A wave of vibrations and a familiar turfing sound echoed as a laser marker lit up.
"She's firing a Killer Wail, everyone out the way NOW!" Marina screamed in the earpieces, with everyone thankfully getting the message. The squad barely dived and swam out the way as the sound laser shot out, so violently that the tables got torn apart from the sheer pressure she caused. In the brief moment they had, the robots split up. Callie ran for the kitchen, Marie headed up to the office and Pearl retreated back into her side stage platform.
"They're splitting up," Agent 4 growled, "They know we've got strength in numbers, they're tryin' to take up by surprise!"
"Then we better split up too," Agent 2 commanded, "Me and 1 will go after Callie. 8, Mags, apprehend the Pearl bot! 3 and 4, tag team and take down that hideous parody of me."
"Ma'am yes ma'am!" Agent 8 saluted, dragging Mags down to the Side Stage.
"Come on 4, let's teabag the Marie bot for our final killcam!"
"You're lucky you're so cute…" He sighed as 3 crouch-walk-crouched towards the office.
1 smiled and nudged 2's shoulder, "You and me cous, let's do this like we always have done!"
2 smirked with a nod, "Just another day for the NSS. Let's go!"
/
The two idols in arms carefully stepped over the destroyed door to the kitchen, clearly rammed through like paper. The cooking area itself was a mess. Pots, pans, broken glasses, all the cutlery was just scattered all over the floor. One of the stoves was currently on the hottest setting, giving a burning glow to the usually dark building. And across the other side of the room was their Target. Animatronic robot, splattered with some of Mag's ink, was staring at them from across the room, body arched to strike.
Agent 1 defiantly took a step towards her robot counterpart, pointing her Roller as if she were wielding a sword, "You'll be nothing but scrap metal when we're finished with ya, other… me!"
"We...o-o-only did what Ms Afto-o-o-n wanted us to do…" the robot said solemnly, "I wanted to entertain the ki-i-iddies. But I exist to kill...so I will continue my existence."
"Wow, what glumstick made THIS thing?" Agent 2 asked snarkily. Agent 1 looked at her with a certain face before she was pushed away, "No."
"A-Anyway!" Agent 1 grinned, "You think we ain't prepared for this? We've got the most powerful splatters this side of the Valley, you ain't got nothin'! We're THE Agents of the Splatoon! And we're gonna take you down! What're you gonna do about it?"
The robot giggled a little. And then, as a response, its chest plates...opened? Two large holes opened in the robot's chest plate, from which amongst a whirring sound came two...minigun barrels?!
"What."
With a ratcheting whir, the mammary miniguns spun up and fired, carpeting the kitchen in bullets. Pots and pans, full of holes, flew everywhere. Crockery and cutlery was scattered across the floors. Even the tins of canned tomatoes and canned pizza (wow this place was cheap) were blasted open, pouring their contents all over the kitchen. The idols screamed in fear and bolted for solid cover, some workstations just a bit behind them. They landed, Agent 1 far less gracefully than Agent 2, and took cover from there.
Agent 2 raised slightly to fire off a Charger shot, but screamed and quickly shot down to avoid a blanket of brass. She curled inwards and looked at her cousin, "I reiterate; WHO THE HELL MADE THESE?!"
"Oh I see!" Agent 1 growled, "So they make me fat and look like a man, but it's okay, as I'm packing heat! HAHA! We are SO suing this place!"
"Girls!" came Marina's voice over their earpieces, "Not right now?"
"Sorry," Agent 2 sighed, talking over the cacophony of bullets, "How do we stop this thing? There's no way we're getting close to that thing without gettin' shredded!"
"For some reason, the armour on this one is tougher than the others," Marina said, "Looking over the documents now. Ink will still work, but it needs to be more powerful to get through the shell."
"Like what?"
"Standard Bombs won't cut it. You'll need something stronger! Like, I dunno...Octavio's takoyaki bombs or something!"
And Agent 1 suddenly looked at her cousin, a devious grin on her face.
"Callie. No."
"Yes."
"No Callie."
"What's she planning?"
"It's time…"
"AGENT 1 I ORDER YOU-"
"TO GET ROCKED!" Callie yelled, digging into her pockets and pulling something out. To Marie's horror, it was those stupid Hypnoshades! She cursed silently as Callie slipped them on. Strong light emitted from the shades along with some muffled music, Callie beginning to drool and moan as the pretty shapes and pounding music massaged her brain. Marie absolutely hated that Callie seemed to enjoy this so much.
Suddenly, there was a pause in the action. There were multiple clunking sounds. Seems the robot was trying to reload. Callie hopped up onto the workspace to see her robot duplicate shove two drums of ammo into her chest. The mechanical beast looked up, "Hu-u-h?"
"LET'S DROP THIS SPICY WASABI BEAT!" Callie yelled, tearing her Agent outfit off. To Marie further horror, underneath was her accursed leather getup from when she was under Octavio's rule, tight and revealing and utterly NOT fresh.
"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WEARING THAT?!" Marie screamed. But she didn't have more to yell about as the barrels revved up again. Her terror seemed to increase tenfold as Callie merely grinned at the spinning cylinders of death. "CALLIE!"
"E-Enough of th-these g-g-games!" The animatronic then opened fire once again, its guns roaring with violent intent. Callie with her vibing shades, started to dance, weave, turn and flip her way out of the bullets. She seemed to be in her own world, shaking and spinning and singing in glee as she avoided the hell fire by some miracle. Marie couldn't even check on her as stray bullets took off her green cap, coming dangerously close to her head. Her lungs almost deflated entirely in that moment.
Meanwhile, Callie was slowly advancing to the robot in her dance. The music, her voice, they were too powerful! And she was about to show why! "Hope you're ready you bucket of bolts!" She gleefully screamed before leaping up and beyond the barrel's range, her hair igniting in a hyper frenzy of a special, "Bomb Rush Blush!" Massive, Octarian crafted splat bombs flew out of her arms one by one, punishing the robot with massive ink explosions. One after one they hammered the robot like a drill, slowly denting and destroying its servos and circuits. Callie did not stop her wrath until after twenty bombs of assault.
The Callie bot seemed to curve backwards from sheer force, her barrels now bent and inoperable. She held her hands out to try balance, but a swift kick by Marie sent the machine onto the lit stove. The robot screamed as her head plates melted under the intense heat. No words were said as she shot the robot in the head, the sheer force of her Charger decapitating the robot's head in a single blast. A tiny part of her shivered in dread as she turned the stove off, knowing who this robot was designed after. 'She is fine' Marie firmly told herself, looking at her cousin who was posing in front of the robot taking a selfie, one hand on her hip and a tongue sticking out.
Callie finished her Selfie and approached Marie, "Wooo! Aww yeah, I have been ACHING for that other me to let me out every once in a while. Always good to let your wild side run rampant a little, you know? Don't you agree?"
Marie responded by ripping the shades off of her cousin's head and slapping her. Callie sputtered in confusion as the hypnotising wore off, her eyes spiralling as she saw Marie throw the shades to the ground, charge a Charger shot and blast them apart. She sighed sadly and arched forward, but Marie stood her ground, "NEVER wear those again…" a pause, before a tear slipped from her eye, "You don't realise what memories those bring back for me. I...I could've lost you Cal."
"...You're right," Callie sighed, "I'm sorry…" she reached in for a hug, and Marie begrudgingly obliged. After a small snuggle, they separated, "I...can't imagine you wanted to shoot my head again. That must've sucked. Heh, imagine if, like, you overcharged a shot and took my head clean off!"
"Please don't…" Marie whined, "...Although, I wonder what sorta path I would've gone down if I did that. Maybe I'd go crazy or somethin'. Hmm. Anyway, let's go meet up with the others….you DID bring some spare clothes, right?"
Callie shrugged; she secretly really liked how it fitted her, though she'd never admit it to Marie of all people. Said cousin simply sighed with a head shake and headed back to the main room.