Of Mazes and Weapons

Rise verse

"Your fighting skills are impressive." Michelangelo grinned at April. "And that battle cry! What was it already? Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah?"

"I find it quite catchy," April said.

The four turtles and their human companion were nonchalantly walking on the rooftops. The fight against the trash of the waste ground - people should really stop using illegal dump sites - had gone rather well, in a chaotic sort of way.

At least nobody on their side was injured.

"And we saved your boss!" Raph bumped his fists with happiness. "I say this calls for pizza!"

Michelangelo's eyes lit up. "Now you're talking my language."

April was way less enthusiastic, both because her boss had ran away she didn't know where - she had already checked his restaurant - and because it would be her seventh pizza in six days. She was one of these humans who needed some food variety.

On the other hand, you didn't get to meet other-dimensional turtles every day.

"I'm coming. As long as it's really about pizza. I'm not eating anything that still moves."

"Don't worry. This is going to be great!" Raph grinned at Michelangelo and Leonardo. "We'll show you our favorite place. Mutants like us are welcome there!"

"Really?" Michelangelo looked like he had just been given an amazing gift.

"Really," Donnie said. "We're the regulars in there. I must say, it's a nice change from people hating us."

They jumped into an alleyway. Raph stood in front of a wall and plunged his fists into it.

"More mystical magic?" Leonardo asked, very interested.

"Yes," Raph answered proudly. "Come in!"

A large hole appeared inside the wall, and all five went through.

Inside was indeed a restaurant filled with customers looking like anything but humans. April stood tall under their suspicious gazes. No matter how many times she accompanied her friends, her presence was still frowned upon.

"Let's go to our table." Raph led them through the restaurant.

Leonardo waited until everybody had sat down to ask the question that had been nagging at him ever since the fight.

"You mentioned… oozesquitoes earlier," he told Donnie. "You said they were responsible for the trash coming to life. Can you tell us more about them?"

"Of course." Donnie intertwined his fingers. "They're mutant mosquitoes carrying mutagen that can mutate things." He gazed at Leonardo to make sure he was following.

"I got the mutating part," Leonardo answered wryly.

Donnie nodded with satisfaction. It wasn't easy for him to guess how much he had to dumb down, but maybe this turtle's brain could handle a little more complexity. "Most of the time they mutate people. This time they blended microorganisms and trash together."

Leonardo frowned. "But where do they come from?"

"Oh, that," Donnie said detachedly. "We freed them in a lab explosion. Not my lab," he added hurriedly when he saw Leonardo's expression.

Raph cleared his throat. He didn't want their guests to think that he had no sense of responsibility. "We've been trying to capture them. I'm just having a hard time getting volunteers for the missions."

He glared at Donnie.

"Why am I taking the fall for this?" Donnie retorted with great indignation. "Leo is the laziest."

"Oh, really?" Michelangelo said with a grin.

Raph fidgeted. He didn't like speaking ill of people, especially of his brothers, especially behind their backs. "Well, if we look at the stats…"

Donnie had no such qualms. "He definitely is."

Michelangelo glanced at Leonardo. "I would love to meet him," he cooed. "This is such an interesting world."

Leonardo rolled his eyes.

"What is your world like?" April leaned forwards. "Do I have a counterpart?"

Leonardo smiled. "Yes. She's courageous like you, although maybe a little more… cautious."

"It's weird to think about," April mused. "I mean, I was already amazed to discover the Hidden City below New York, but a whole different universe?"

"Several different universes, in fact." Michelangelo took the menu. "I always say it's easier to think on a full stomach. Let's order!"

"Great idea!" Raph took his own menu. "Let's see what kind of regular pizza I'll eat tonight."

"Regular pizza?" Michelangelo raised his eye ridges.

"It's a joke," Raph explained. "Here, you could have the World's Greatest Pizza - and it is delicious - but you would need to solve the Maze of Death first. Let's just say it lives up to its name."

But Michelangelo wasn't going to give up so easily. After all, it was a matter of the utmost importance.

"So you've solved the maze and eaten the pizza?"

"Well, we've definitely been into the maze and we got the pizza," Raph said cautiously.

"Alright, I'm in!" Michelangelo stood up. "Where is this Maze of Death?"

"Wow, wait!" Raph said in an attempt to temper his guest's enthusiasm. "It's dangerous. Deathly dangerous."

"The World's Greatest Pizza is worth it."

Before Raph could think of another objection, the restaurant's owner, a skeleton named Señor Hueso, made for their table.

"So you want to solve the Maze of Death, uh? Only a true Champion can achieve such a feat."

Leonardo, who already knew that his brother's mind was set in stone, leaned backwards.

"What else can you tell us about this Maze of Death?"

Hueso gave him a suspicious look that Leonardo didn't quite comprehend.

"It only has one rule. No mystical magic."

Michelangelo shrugged. "Believe me, if I had mystic powers, I would know. And my family would know. And all of New York City would know." He sighed. "But I'm just your regular teenage mutant ninja turtle. So, where is this maze?"

"Follow me."

Hueso led them under a Prove You're a Champion sign and into a hallway full of pictures of yokai eating pizza.

"These are all the Champions who proved their worth into the Maze of Death," Hueso said proudly.

Michelangelo stopped in front of one picture. "Why are you guys on the Wall of Cheaters?"

Donnie snorted. "Long story short. It was Leon. He tricked us into getting inside this maze because he wanted his picture on the wall of champions. And we almost died."

"No need to be so melodramatic," Raph added hastily. "He made amends, and we're not dead."

Michelangelo considered the picture with renewed attention. "You still got the pizza. I say it's a win."

Hueso crossed his bone arms. "No doubt you would think so. Ready to show us which wall your picture belongs to?"

"Of course!" Michelangelo walked towards the velvet rope marking the entrance of the maze.

"How many of you will enter?" Hueso asked right before he opened the door.

Leonardo was about to answer that he would be coming, too, but Michelangelo acted first.

"Only me," he shouted before disappearing into the maze.

Leonardo crossed his arms. "Oh, really, Mike?" he said to the now closed door.

"No!" Raph shouted. He ran to Hueso. "He can't go alone!"

"Why not? He seemed quite eager to do so." Hueso grinned.

"But he's too young!"

"Actually, we're the same age," Leonardo said, smiling.

Raph's incredulity reached new heights. "You're not worried about him?"

Leonardo shook his head. "Nothing can stand between Mike and pizza. He'll be fine."

"Oh. Okay. You know him best." Raph retreated to the other side of the hallway and began pacing back and forth.

"Yes, he's always like this," Donnie answered Leonardo's silent question. "It drives Mikey crazy."

Not even ten minutes later, Michelangelo was back, chewing something and his hands empty.

"Mikey!" Leonardo didn't entirely manage to hide his amusement. "Did you breathe the whole thing?"

"So… Good…" Michelangelo said dreamily, allowing everyone to see the content of his mouth.

"Alright, my turn." Leonardo turned to Hueso.

Hueso narrowed his orbits. "And no mystical magic?"

"I know how to play by the rules."

"That would be a first," Hueso muttered as he sent Leonardo into the Maze of Death.

"Mikey, are you okay?" Raph asked frenetically.

"Of course," Michelangelo answered as he swallowed the last remnants of his pizza. "Do you think he will leave some for me?"

Later, Donnie contemplated the new picture on the Wall of Champions with great satisfaction. It showed Michelangelo and Leonardo sharing Leonardo's pizza with ecstatic expressions.

"Leo will be soo mad."

2003 verse

When Raphael woke up next morning, he was met with a surprise in the main room of the lair.

Mikey had somehow found a paperboard and markers as much as a professor's outfit, and was standing doggedly in the middle of the room.

Donatello was still at his desk, and Raphael undertook a cautious retreat next to his brother.

"What is he up to?" he whispered, tilting his head towards Mikey.

"I think he wants to help you," Donatello answered.

Although his face would have appeared completely neutral to the ignorant bystander, Raphael knew he was amused.

Deeply amused, even.

Raphael groaned. "Did you help him find this stuff?"

"Of course. The sharing of knowledge is to be encouraged."

Raphael turned his back on Mikey, decided to ignore him for as long as possible. "What about you? Did you find something?"

Donatello chuckled. "Later. You don't want to disappoint our guest, do you? Besides, we need to wait for Leo to wake up."

"What happened to the sharing of knowledge?" Raphael asked wryly.

Donatello merely grinned.

Behind Raphael, Mikey cleared his throat.

Raphael considered going back to bed. He had a bad feeling about this.

Mikey cleared his throat again, until Raphael rolled his eyes and came to him. The sooner he would be done, the better.

"Hello, Raphael."

"Hello, Mikey. What are you up to?" he asked wryly.

"This is Doctor Feelings talking to you." The words were uttered in the most professorial tone. "I think you might need my help."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm here to help you with your feelings." Mikey began drawing diagrams on the paperboard. "They're important. Controlling your anger will help you reach enlightenment."

Raphael gaped, at a loss for words.

"Lashing out often means that you're not confident with simply sharing the source of the problem," Mikey went on.

Raphael glanced at Donatello. His brother was watching with a huge grin on his face.

"Don, if that's your idea…" he threatened.

"It's not, I promise." Donatello raised his hands in a gesture of peace.

"This is not the right way to process your feelings," Mikey said with the patience of a saint. "Threatening your family is a defense mechanism that you won't need once you'll have found your inner balance."

Klunk jumped on the paperboard and meowed. Was the cat on Mikey's side too?

Just when Raphael thought it couldn't become more awkward, Casey emerged from the elevator.

"Hey, Raph! What are you doing, man?"

"Oh, just listening to a Mikey blabbering," Raphael answered. "Nothing unusual."

Doctor Feelings Mikey shook his head with sadness. "You're not paying attention to me."

Casey took in Mikey's presence and gaped. "Who are you?"

"A visitor from another dimension," Raphael said. "Oh, and Leonardo and Michelangelo are missing. Hopefully not for long."

"Think how happy they'll be with your progress. If you progress," Mikey said. "I must say Doctor Feelings is quite disappointed right now."

Casey crossed his arms. "Man, you never warn me of the good stuff."

Leo chose this moment to jump down from the upper level. "Hi, everybody." He stopped to narrow his eyes at Casey. "A human? Are you their April?"

Casey gaped. "What? No! No way!"

"It's Casey. A good friend, most of the time," Raphael said.

"Hey!" Casey glared at him before examining Leo with curiosity. "So, how many visitors are you hiding in this lair?"

"Only these two." Raphael snorted. "And believe me, that's more than enough."

"The grumpy turtle is still grumpy, I see." Leo yawned. "Do you have cereals for breakfast?"

"In the kitchen," Donatello answered.

"Don, maybe you could tell us what you found first," Raphael interjected. "If it can help these turtles go back home…"

Mikey sighed and gave up on his paperboard. Raphael wasn't receptive at all to Doctor Feelings' teachings.

Klunk nuzzled his cheek in an attempt to comfort him, and Mikey smiled. He should really get a pet of his own.

"I did find something." Donatello took a three-foot high pile of papers and chose one. The move revealed scorched marks on his desk. "This experiment was particularly interesting."

Raphael examined the pile of papers with the greatest suspicion. Now that he thought about it, it hadn't been there the day before. "Don, did you stay awake all night?"

"Absolutely not," Donatello answered. "I took a twenty-five minutes nap two hours and a half ago."

"You're a lost cause."

Donatello blatantly ignored his brother's heartfelt remark. "I've become convinced that this weapon," he pointed at Mikey's kusari-fundo, "is somehow alive."

Mikey shook his head up and down. "I agree."

"So I've wondered, if your weapon is… inhabited, could it be the same for Leo's weapon?"

Leo yawned again. "Can we be serious here? My weapon isn't alive."

"And," Donatello went on, "I decided I should better ask it." He pointed once more at Mikey's weapon. "I came up with a communication system. Some variation of the Morse code."

He tapped his desk in rhythm, and a flame appeared around Mikey's weapon, his intensity varying in short and longer bursts.

"What did it say?" Mikey asked excitedly.

"That it hopes we'll burn forever together," Donatello said. "I think that's its way of saying 'Hello'."

Casey grimaced.

"It's… not there, most of the time," Donatello went on. "Unless the wielder of the weapon calls it."

Mikey nodded as if he already knew that.

"I also asked it where Leo's weapon was." Donatello watched Leo sheepishly. "And it said, uh… that the portal spirit inhabiting your weapon was offended by your lack of talent."

Leo blinked.

"Its words, not mine." Donatello added hastily.

But Leo had already thrown up his arms. "No! NO! My beloved weapon, betraying me like this? O rage, O despair!"

He fell to his knees, his whole body shaking.

"And I thought Mike was a drama queen," Raphael observed.

Mikey patted Leo's arm. "Don't worry, brother mine. My own weapon isn't always cooperative, but we're reached an understanding."

"What kind of understanding?" Leo whispered, his voice carrying all the despair in the world.

"I let it wreak havoc upon this world, and it doesn't direct its energy against me," Mikey said sententiously.

"So where did it go?" Raphael asked.

"Into another plane of existence, apparently." Donatello put back the paper on his desk. "Good news is, it can come back."

Leo looked up, showing his bloodshot eyes. "It can?"

"Yes. You…" Donatello hesitated. "You only need to prove it that you're worthy of wielding it by accomplishing an exploit."

Leo jumped on his feet. "Okay, that's easy. Mikey, we'll be home in no time!"

Raphael sighed heavily. "We're doomed. Don, can you work on a portal of your own?"