A/N: this chapter is now back to their present time.
Ponch sat in the car, stunned. Joe had told him everything. Up until the moment where they had accidentally crossed paths again. He'd even told him that Jon knew. "So Jon knew?" he said quietly.
Joe sighed. "I made him promise to keep a secret. I didn't intend on him finding out...or on you finding out like this." When Jon had brought Ponch in for Joe to look over his application a few years ago, Joe was in shock. Seeing Ponch for the first time in years, he was surprised just how much he reminded him of Rosa.
He had tried to keep the secret to himself, knowing one day he'd tell Ponch. In light of recent events, he had made the decision to tell Jon. The heaviness of the situation weighing down on him, he needed to speak.
He'd partnered Ponch with his best officer keeping an eye on Ponch, that was sure to keep him out of trouble, right? That was the original intent. Partnering them together had probably been a big factor in saving his son's life.
He didn't realize just how difficult having Ponch work for him would be. If it hadn't been for all the accidents, excuses, and interesting occurrences that he wasn't even sure were true stories until Jon backed Ponch up on it; maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. But it was, even with Jon out there, Ponch still kept Joe on his toes.
Now he had more to worry about than mistakes and injuries. His son was struggling bad with his mental health, and he almost lost him to suicide.
So many times he had almost slipped up, and given him a hug...or told him just how relieved he was that Ponch hadn't died. He couldn't suddenly start doing this now. He couldn't do it ever. At least not with anyone around, hugs were unprofessional in this line of work.
He wished having Ponch around hadn't been so hard, it was like a constant reminder each day of what he had done. He hadn't told Betty about it yet, he'd kept that to himself, in case she accidentally slipped up when Ponch was around. But now it didn't make sense to keep it from her anymore.
"You remind me so much of your mother," Getraer said quietly. "Your real mother, not Maria." He looked down, hoping he hadn't said too much.
Ponch had been looking out the window until that comment, he turned his head to look at his dad...still in shock this was his dad. "I'm like my mom?"
Joe felt tears in his eyes. "Yes. Yes, a lot like her. Even down to that time you were singing 'it's cold outside,' in 90 degree weather."
"Not because it's cold...but because it was stuck in my head," Ponch said quietly, looking down as if he was in trouble or something.
Joe chuckled. "Your mom would play that record on repeat. I told her she was crazy, she said it's not crazy to enjoy your favorite songs no matter what the weather is like."
Ponch smiled slightly, despite the awkwardness. "Yeah, I can relate." He wasn't sure what to say after that, still trying to take in all the information. Getraer was his dad? That was the part he just couldn't get over. That and so many questions flooding his mind now.
Silence filled the car, Joe hadn't even turned it on or tried to drive anywhere yet like he had planned. They just sat there...
Ponch bit the inside of his lip. So many questions filling his mind. "Why didn't you want me and Frankie?" he asked quietly.
Joe bit his lip. I knew the question would come...He hadn't really spent a lot of time talking about that, as much as he had about the relationship he and Rosa had...and what had happened after he found out about Ponch and his sister. Would it be enough to just say he had been scared? Because there was more than that...
"I'm sorry," Ponch looked away again, feeling even more awkward.
I don't think I've ever heard you apologize for asking questions... "Don't be sorry," Getraer said quickly to break the silence. "I was scared."
Ponch looked back at him again, interested.
"I left because I didn't feel like I was qualified. Yeah I was scared. I loved your mom, but I wasn't thinking. I didn't want to have a family so early in life, and I left because I was afraid of commitment. I was afraid I would mess up as a parent. I was afraid I'd mess up as a husband. I felt that after I left I couldn't go back. Yes, I thought about going back...I thought about it a lot. But I didn't...and by the time you had been born your mother sent me a few pictures and a note and told me everything about you and your sister. Everything that she had known...even down to the details of what she was craving. I'm not surprised that you like ding dongs, you made your mother want snack cakes all the time." He paused, shaking his head.
Ponch smiled slightly. Interesting.
"I kept all the pictures she sent me. I kept them in my desk the minute I got my office. I tried to see you after she died, but Maria said you were better off without me..." he felt tears in his eyes, he'd never cried in front of Ponch before, but there was no way of keeping from doing that right now. "I wanted to take you home with me the minute I met you. But I didn't, and I wish that I could change the decision. If I could go back I would have stayed with your mom. I would have been there when you and Frankie were born...I would have argued with Maria when she decided she was taking you. But I didn't...and it's the biggest regret of my life. But now you're here. You're here, and I. Am. Not. Going to lose you again. I will do ANYTHING to keep that from happening. I love you, Frank. I always have."
By the time Getraer had finished talking, Ponch was crying. He leaned closer to Getraer. "I can't believe I finally met my dad." It was all he could say. He thought he would have been more angry, but in this moment all he felt was hope. Maybe his dad didn't hate him?
Getraer moved closer, wrapping his arms around Ponch...they sat there crying for the next hour or so. Occasionally talking, but mostly just a lot of tears...