CHAPTER 7: Hotland Blues
Sans was preparing some hot dogs for himself when he heard the elevator open. He looked over, preparing to try and sell some of his hot dogs, only to stop as Nafi stepped out.
Sans liked to think he was good at reading people, although he didn't remember where he picked up the skill. The human walking over? Her expression was almost unreadable.
Reaching the sentry station Sans used as a hot dog stand, Nafi sat down beside it.
"hey, what's up?" Sans asked.
Nafi glanced over and up, doing a double-take when she realized there was snow on his roof. "Snow on your roof," she stated questionably.
He shrugged, "too lazy to clean it off. you wanna buy a hot dog?"
She blinked at him a few times, having issues rationalizing what she heard with what she thought his reaction was going to be. She had expected anger or petty revenge, not… Whatever Sans is doing.
That and he just brushed off the fact there is snow on his roof while in a cavern with lava at the bottom.
She was not in the correct emotional state to deal with the enigma that is Sans the Skeleton who owns clothes but not a bow. Ignoring everything in her head, she asked, "Do you have vegetarian hot dogs?"
"Tibia-onest, all of them are," Sans replied, "made of water sausage, which is a plant."
Nafi tried to remember if she had picked up any money over the course of her stay down here, a thought process that was moot when he handed her one. He jiggled it and said, "here, you can have one on me. with the hang-Dog face you're making, ya look like you need it."
She took it and, after giving it a look over, nibbled at it. With no taste of poison, she took bigger bites.
Sans watched her, wondering what happened when he received a text from his brother.
Pulling out his phone, he read, "HAVE YOU SEEN METTATON'S NEW EPISODE YET?"
"no" he texted back.
Papyrus sent him a link to a video. The video was only one minute long and titled "Mettaton the robotic catapult".
It started with Mettaton rising out of the floor from behind a kitchen counter, Nafi standing stiffly off to the side, phone in hand.
"OH YES!" the recorded robot exclaimed, voice tinny and quiet coming through the speaker, "WELCOME, BEA-U-TIES, TO THE- ACK!"
Interrupting him, Nafi exploded into action, using him as a springboard to get over and away. The muffled "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope," overshadowed by an obviously edited in "BOING" noise.
Sans chuckled.
Her jump was then repeated at a slower speed, the video zooming in on Mettaton's front as he was tipped over by Nafi's foot, the surprised exclamation even funnier in slow-mo.
He texted his brother, "funny"
A few seconds went by, Papyrus was typing something long.
Finally, the text came in. "I KNOW! EVEN UNDYNE CACKLED! BUT WHEN I TRIED TO CALL HER TO CONGRATULATE HER, SHE DIDN'T PICK UP. I THINK I MAY HAVE ACCIDENTALLY INSULTED THE HUMAN SOMEHOW. YOU'RE IN THE AREA AROUND THIS POINT SO, IF YOU SEE HER, COULD YOU PLEASE APOLOGIZE FOR ME?"
"i'll talk with her," he sent back.
He looked down at Nafi.
She wasn't there.
Looking around quickly, he was just able to see her cape flapping behind her as she turned a corner farther down.
He tried to figure out why she left, and remembered what she said last time they met.
"Become famous for your usefulness and less people will want to kill you and more will protect you from the undead or others."
Sighing, Sans dropped his head into his hands.
She couldn't think that they were angry at her for escaping Mettaton, could she?
Who was he kidding, of course she was. He'd actually have to work to fix this misunderstanding.
Or he could get Papyrus to do it.
He looked back at his phone and started texting.
Nafi ignored her phone as it kept ringing every few steps. She wanted out of this place and she wanted out now before an angry mob caught up with her.
Sure, she avoided getting yelled at for now, but eventually she was going to have to pick up the phone to help solve a puzzle.
Either way, two puzzles in and she was doing well.
Until she wasn't.
"Hey, you! Stop!"
Nafi's hand drifted down to her sword as she turned around to face two royal guards in full armor. One of them had bunny ears, but the other was too heavenly armored to see any defining features.
Health: 150, Defense: 20, Attack: 30, really hard to tell them apart when they have the same stats.
"How may I help you?" she asked.
"We've, like, received an anonymous tip about a human in a cape," the bunny guard said, "They told us they were wandering around Hotland right now…"
She gripped the sword.
The guard continued, "I know, sounds scary, huh? Well, just stay chill. We'll bring you someplace safe, okay?"
Looking upon these two oblivious idiots, Nafi mentally started counting down to when they would realize she is the human in a cape. They were walking away and she had reached negative 3 before the heavily armored guard stopped the bunny guard.
"... Huh? What is it, bro?"
An armored finger was pointed at Nafi, more specifically, her cape.
"Bro…" bunny ears drooped, "Are you thinkin'... what I'm thinkin'? Bummer. This is, like… mega embarrassing."
All three of them pulled out their swords almost in sync and the bunny continued, "We, like, actually have to totally kill you and stuff."
Nafi's Soul appeared and she got to work thinking of a way out of this. A task made harder by the fact that the place they had cornered her was an earthen bridge above lava.
Bunny Ears' sword was blocked as it swung down to meet Nafi's, only for Nafi to dodge to the side to avoid an attack by the other guard. It was a cycle that repeated as she planned, a deadly dance that wasn't any harder than any other fight, even with two of them.
Yet she dodged late, a clever play by Bunny Ears making her have to stay in one spot longer, her quick reflexes saving her from doom. Her sharp eye catching sight of helpful information.
The heavily armored guard's armor was crusty with dirt and moist scales could be barely seen under the helmet. A fish like Undyne.
This fish she didn't mind cooking.
She dropped into a split as swords swung above her and she sprung up with the bottom of her cape in her off hand. With a quick wipe, large chunks of the dirt were knocked off the armor. Another few dodges and another few wipes and the fish was suffering in the heat.
"...Can't … Take it… Armor… To... Hot."
Suffering enough to take off the armor.
Bunny Ears' attacks started to miss her, the guard obviously distracted.
Taking advantage of that distraction, Nafi forced the guard off balance remarking, "If you're going to be distracted, then there's no use fighting. Whatever it is, say it now."
One more round of easy to dodge attacks and Nafi laughingly stated, "You're being idiots."
Before she could properly threaten them though, Bunny Ears threw down his sword and turned to the other guard with a cry of, "Dude, I can't take this any more. Not like this! Like, 02! I like… I like, Like you, bro!"
Bunny Ears took 02's, which is a horrible name if you ask Nafi, hands and started a list of love, "The way you fight… The way you talk… I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, holding your hands…"
"...01…"
Nafi walked away as the horribly named guards confessed their love for each other. No reason to stick around while they're distracted. Not that she really needed to as she spotted them walking away from her happily.
After playing matchmaker for some unknown reason, she wanted something normal.
The dark room in front of her was normal, for Mettaton's traps anyway.
She stared into the dark opening, thinking of how to go about getting through this one. The flaw she exploited last time, an open exit, would most likely be fixed.
Except, when did a closed door ever stop her?
With her console, he would never know she was here in the first place while she could see everything.
/effect give Nafriskenta invisibility 120
/effect give Nafriskenta night_vision 120
Nafi held her hand in front of her face and could see right through it into the no longer dark room.
Two minutes to get through whatever was here, let's go.
As she moved through the room, she observed her surroundings. It was a vague maze like area with random stuff placed everywhere and high above, Mettaton adjusted the suit and tie he was wearing.
Nafi's already low opinion of him was brought lower as she walked right out the other side no issues. As the effects wore off she realized that if Alphys had been watching her, then she would have seen that.
Well, she probably would have seen everything so far, still not a good thought.
At least it worked, she'd rather not have more people gunning for her if she just walked out on whatever that was supposed to be.
Ducking into an elevator, she took a moment to relax before hitting the button for the next floor.
Her phone rang, again.
She buried it deeper in her cape pockets.
The elevator opened and she stepped out into an area that, compared to the sweltering heat of the rest of Hotland, felt like Snowdin. The path she was on went past a small table, Nafi stopping there just long enough to see a spider-like monster behind the table, which was full of baked goods.
"Welcome to our parlor dearie~" the spider monster said, "Interested in one of our spider pastries? All proceeds go to real spiders~"
Nafi looked at the prices for the treats and stared at the gigantic numbers. That much for spiders?
"Uh, no thanks. I'm good."
Nafi hurried away onto the next puzzle as her phone rang again.
After another double block puzzle, she came up to a large purple building. Sniffing the air, Nafi was reminded of the one time she explored an abandoned mineshaft. It may have been many years ago, but she never forgot the smell of spiderwebs.
"When you're older, Nafriskenta, we'll take you to a mineshaft. You'll love it down there."
"Note to self, never go back into a mineshaft. It doesn't matter what Mother said, the resources aren't worth the spiders."
She shook off the bad memories, pulled out her sword and headed inside.
Suddenly a voice sounded from around her, echoing above the sound of spiders moving around, "Ahuhuhuhu… Did you hear what they just said?"
Even in the darkened room, Nafi could see her path ahead. She hurried forward, trying to ignore the soft voices coming from all around.
"They said a human wearing a cape will come through."
She stepped into a web and almost fell forward onto her face.
"I heard that they hate spiders."
She stepped into more webs, her sword wrapped tightly in them.
"I heard that they love to stomp on them."
She stepped into even more webs and her rising panic didn't stop her from wondering how you were supposed to stomp on a spider.
"I heard they like to tear their legs off."
She stepped into so many webs that she was barely moving now, panic preventing her from even questioning how someone would even go about tearing spiders' legs off.
"I heard…"
She couldn't move as the spider person from earlier stepped next to her.
"... that they are awfully stingy with their money. Ahuhuhuhu."
Health: 1250, Defense: 18, Attack: 38, where's the spider stats?!
Nafi whipped her head around, searching for the spider's glowing red eyes in the darkness. Where were they?!
"You think your tastes are too refined for our pastries, don't you dearie?"
Nafi, desperate to see how many spiders she was dealing with, interrupted the spider person, "Where are your spiders then?"
The soft sound of scuttling stopped abruptly, terrifying Nafi even more. The spider person deadpanned, "Are you blind?"
Nafi looked back, panicked and confused in equal measures, "No? I just don't see any spiders?"
The spider person was now also confused, "You- How do you not see any spiders? They're all around you."
Nafi looked around again, ignoring the tiny monsters sitting in the webs, "Then where are the glowing red eyes?"
"Glowing eyes? Why would we need glowing eyes? We can see perfectly fine in the dark."
"Well obviously you can't because there are no spiders here."
"Of course, there is! Right here! Practically on top of you!"
"Even without the glowing eyes, I think I would be able to spot two meter long spiders on me."
"Two yards? I think you mean two inches."
"Where are you getting that? Have you ever seen a spider before or does inch mean something different?"
"I am a spider! We are surrounded by spiders! What are you talking about?!"
"Spiders of course! They're gigantic, have glowing eyes, and want to eat my face off!"
"Your face doesn't even look tasty?"
"Tell that to a spider!"
The spider person buried her face in her many hands and screamed in frustration. "Just, just go. I can no longer deal with you."
The webs let Nafi go and she ran out the door, dodging the tiny spider-look-a-like monsters on her way out.
She sprinted so fast Mettaton never even had a chance to start his cameras for his next show starring her before she was past him and his stage.
Once out onto the normal rocky pathways of Hotland, she took the next left up some stairs. At the top was a building obviously created in honor of the robot if the statue of him she could see through the doors was any indication. Standing next to the doors was Sans leaning against the wall and looking right at her.
"hey kid, what's the rush?"
Nafi slowed to a stop in front of the doors and glanced at him. She said nothing.
Sans sighed, "you know everyone is worried about you."
"Worried about me or going for my head?" she scoffed.
"is this about metta being a celebrity? he has maybe 20 people watching him on a good day. besides, he needs the pin in his Metta-Tons of ego sometimes."
Nafi gave him a more thorough look, saying, "That was bad, you need to lay off the Metta-Puns."
Sans laughed hard at that, so hard it attracted the attention of an ally-cat and an ally-croc who peeked out from behind the building to see. Once he had recovered, he held out his hand, "how about grabbing some dinner with us first, then you can keep going."
"Us?" Nafi asked.
"me, pap, tori, undyne, and alphys"
Sans was calling to make things right.
Nafi grabbed his hand and answered the call.
Nafi dutifully ignored the fact that Sans teleported her through a wall, and took in the sight of her friends clustered around a table.
She observed each one as they interacted.
Toriel seemed to be silently laughing at something, or maybe it was a slight concern. She had the same hand over the mouth gesture for both emotions.
Papyrus was angry, but it was the anger he had at Sans' puns, so not actually angry.
Undyne and Alphys were looking away from each other, Alphys even going the extra mile and hiding his face in his hands. Not that it hid his blush that matched with Undyne's.
She half wondered what the conversation was about.
"so, I found her," Sans said from beside her.
Everyone looked over and Nafi, even with Sans' reassurances, expected to see anger or resentment.
There was no anger, in fact the most common emotion was joy. Toriel and Papyrus even jumped up and ran over for a hug with a cry of "Nafi!" and "HUMAN!" respectively.
Nafi braced herself as the two monsters slammed into her. Then Toriel gasped and Nafi followed her eyes to the bandages on her arm. Oh yeah, she hadn't taken them off yet from her fight with Undyne.
"You're hurt!" Toriel cried as she healed the already mostly healed wound.
20/20
Undyne spoke up in the background, "Uh, that's my fault."
Nafi replied as she removed the bandages, "I saved you from a burning building you caused with your own cooking, I'd say we're even."
Alphys asked "Is that why your home is on fire?" as Toriel carefully dragged Nafi over to the table, Sans and Papyrus following close behind.
Nafi sat down with the rest of them and pulled out some veggie bars. Between bites, she asked, "So what were you talking about?"
Papyrus answered first, "TORIEL IS JUST AS FULL OF PUNS AS MY BROTHER! AND ALPHYS THOUGHT THIS WAS A DATE WITH UNDYNE."
Nafi blinked as Alphys and Undyne blushed again, swallowed what was in her mouth and said, "Have fun then."
Everyone blinked at her in confusion. Papyrus shook off his confusion first and got straight to the point, "HUMAN, DID I OFFEND YOU?"
Nafi asked, "No? Why would you think that?"
"WHY DID YOU NEVER PICK UP?" Papyrus asked back.
"Because I thought you would be offended!"
Alphys spoke up, "About what?"
"I basically assaulted a celebrity in my attempt to run away and have been avoiding him this entire time. I expected the general offended yells and attacks when someone does that..." she shrugged with nothing else to say.
Alphys blinked. "H-humans actually react like that?"
The other monsters at the table voiced similar disbelief.
Nafi scoffed, "Have as long as I've been alive, although I was only born in 4020."
"F-f-f-4020! The current year is 2040," Alphys exclaimed, "W-what the heck happened!"
There was stunned silence around the table before Sans finally found his voice, "how long ago was the last earthquake?"
Alphys looked at Sans before pulling out a notebook, flipping through frantically as Nafi answered, "2020 years ago, plus a few days. The day I was born was actually the 2000th anniversary. What exactly does this have to do with me going back in time?!"
Alphys answered before Sans did, "Because you didn't go backwards, we went forwards."
The silence came back for one more beat before Toriel shakily asked, "Explanation please?"
Alphys rambled out an answer, "The earthquake was 20 years ago our time and 2020 years her time and when the earthquake happened the Core went into flux and produced much more power than necessary and I could never find out what it did because we never got more energy but multiple other machines went absolutely crazy including a few that the previous royal scientist made that I have no idea what they do but if we all got put into time stop then that makes so much more sense because nothing has been falling down into the trash pit since the earthquake and OH MY GOSH I need to get back to my lab and write this down!"
He dashed from the table, everyone else calling out for him to stop. Nafi stuffed the rest of her food into her mouth and took off after him.
She entered the main room of the building that she had seen through the doors. She didn't stop to look around as she saw him entering an elevator off in the corner. Sprinting, she reached it just as the doors closed behind him.
That didn't stop her as she pried open the doors and jumped in after him. She realized the consequences of her rash decision as she started to catch up with the elevator.
Thinking quickly, she pushed off the wall, wrapped the ends of her cape around her hands, and grabbed the cable holding the elevator bringing a controlled stop to her fall.
16/20
Although she didn't escape unscathed.
As she and the elevator lowered she had a moment to think and realized that she didn't remember an elevator anywhere near Alphys' lab, much less one that led straight to the top.
The elevator stopped and Nafi lowered herself down to the roof hatch and opened it to get inside. Dropping down, she hit the button for the doors to open and stepped out into a dark and ominous medical room.
Alphys was nowhere in sight
"Son of a Creeper's spore sack."
Once upon a time, both long ago and not, there was a scientist and his two assistants.
Each of them made a mistake, the scientist and one of the assistants made their mistake with the same machine.
The last done on his own.
Secrets never stay forgotten for long.