I don't have any reason to bring this up, but an amusing thought I started to have is whether the Kobosuba women preferred to be top or bottom in bed.

And unless someone convinces me otherwise, here's what I like to think;

Aqua: claims to be on top, due to being a Goddess…...problem is that knowing Aqua, her legs would probably give out. Or something occurs that causes her to be flipped over like she suddenly ragdolls while riding someone.

Megumin: let's be honest, she's too aggressive to be on the bottom. Not to mention her frail appearance, so I'd say she's on top all the time.

Darkness: okay, she's overly submissive. Need I explain further? Although, I could see her being on top on a rare occasion.

Yunyun: I honestly could see her being on top like Megumin, though there's a chance she could go either way.

Wiz: let's face it; the lich is an insanely gentle figure, so I see her being extremely passive in bed. Definitely a bottom.

Eris: I don't know why, but I can see the Goddess of Luck and Fortune being a bottom. But for some reason, when she's in her Chris persona, she prefers to be on top.

Luna: Due to her desire for a love life, I can see the blonde guildmaster being open to either suggestion in bed.

Sena: Okay, I haven't seen Season 2, but from what I've researched on her, I see her being so frustrated with her work that she wants to be the "cowgirl". Unless that frustration works against her….

(laughs) I have no idea where any of that came from.

Recently, I have had a reviewer in my current Xenoblade story chew me out and call me a heathen for the repeated use of the phrase "blue thing" when referring to Aqua. You want to know the funny part;

Blue is my favorite color.

I wear a lot of blue in my clothing.

I have a rather high affinity for water, and enjoy swimming when I can.

I even buy or use products that have a blue coloring.

Where am I going with this; I actually prefer Aqua over Eris. Sure, Eris may be the superior Goddess, but Aqua's redeeming qualities make me prefer the blue thing over the purple thing (Eris). (Rest assured, I'm not an Aqua simp. Or worse; an aquaphi-)

So who would be the RED thing if Aqua's the blue thing, and Eris the purple thing?...

Anyway, here's the next chapter to A Shining Paladin in this Horrible World!

"The nerve of that guy!" Beldia thought as he recovered from his fight with that self righteous knight. "To think Axel's strongest adventurer could beat me!"

"It's kind of pathetic, my lord." The mysterious woman replied, as if she read his mind. The dullahan groaned; it was none other than Medea, another General of the Demon King's army. "I was hoping Mitsurugi would've put up more of a fight."

"But he had to retreat!" The amethyst armored General ranted. "No matter, I had hit him with a death curse that should end him by the end of this week."

Raising an eyebrow, Medea asked, her hypnotic emerald eyes staring at her colleague "Why not just kill him when you had the chance?"

"Where's the fun in that? I want him to suffer, to live long enough to see that we are not to be messed with. The only thing that can save him now is if he's maniacal enough to come back to challenge me, at which point he'd die." Beldia explained himself, rubbing his helmet like a pet. "Now that I think about it, why are you still here, General Medea?"

"I'm just running some tests for the Demon King's experiment." the woman explained, her long hair as vibrant as blood as it swayed with every step she took.

Raising an eyebrow, Beldia questioned "You speak of Project Zanza?" The redhead nodded in response. "So what have you found?"

"This is awesome!" Kazuma remarked. After Wiz had granted him that merchant skill, he was quick to unlock many of the arts. And right now, he was sparring with the sapphire and ivory dressed archpriest. Conjuring a breeze strong enough to counter Aqua's hydro blasts, he told the deity "If I knew merchants had this kind of firepower, I'd be more than happy to start off with this."

"Okay, maybe that lich isn't too bad." the Goddess cynically remarked as the two exchanged blows.

Sighing, the brunet questioned "Are you seriously going to keep chewing Wiz out for being an undead?"

"Yes." Aqua responded dryly as she casted a reflection art to counter a blast of wind he summoned. Unfortunately, the aptly named Stephanie was quick to catch him. "Seriously, liches are the scum of the earth." Conjuring her staff, the blue thing traded blows with weapons, as Kazuma drew the sword he used. "And don't think I didn't catch you staring at her."

"Hey, it's not my fault she's gorgeous!" Kazuma argued as he evaded the swings of Aqua's staff. "And besides, Wiz saved Yunyun and I from getting eaten alive." Locking weapons as he tried to overpower the blue haired Goddess, he looked into those deep sapphire eyes, as he questioned "You're jealous of her looks, aren't you?"

"How dare you think that!" Overpowering Kazuma with a hammerblow that sent him reeling…...well reeling if he didn't have that cloak of his, she argued as she put a hand on her chest "I am a Goddess! I automatically outshine any woman that has come our way. And I will outshine any woman that will come."

"I don't know, Darkness and even Yunyun are genuinely pretty. And considering that Wiz is a lich, the fact that she still has her looks is impressive."

Now Aqua had had it! Kazuma was too distracted by the looks Wiz possessed from when she was alive. "Okay, you have a point. Darkness and Yunyun are beautiful for humans, but why are you complimenting Wiz's looks? What are you, a necrophile?!" The blue thing asked accusingly.

"Alright, where the hell did that come from?" He argued, offended by the priestess's claim. "I am not a necrophile!"

Their fighting cut off by an argument the two began to have, it didn't take long for the both of them to mellow out as they walked back to town. "Sttteeeeeeeaaaaaalllllllllllll!" Yunyun suddenly cried out, catching Kazuma and Aqua off guard as a blinding ivory light forced them to close their eyes. Well, Kazuma wasn't affected; if he knew better, he would've figured out that his skill in lightning magic granted him a resistance to blinding attacks.

Noticing the brunette pointing a hand in Kazuma's direction, he asked "What are you doing?" Suddenly, his legs felt a little colder. Sure, his trousers were still on, but if his upper thighs were feeling cold already, than that meant-

Blushing, Yunyun held her hand tight as she explained "After that time you used steal on us, I was curious what would happen if I used steal on you? So I took over the thief class and wanted to see if I could get Stephanie away from you, or take that sword from you. But…." opening her hands, the crimson demon screamed in terror as she suddenly found herself holding Kazuma's navy boxers.

Kazuma could only facepalm as Yunyun suddenly ran up to him, tears already streaming from her deep crimson eyes, and she pleaded "I'msosorrypleasedon'tkickmeoutbecauseIsuddenlygrabbedyourunderwearand-"

Putting his hands on her shoulders, the paladin tried to reassure her as he took his undergarments back "Easy, Yunyun. Let's just….not bring this up to Darkness, or I'll never hear the end of it."

"I second that." Aqua and Yunyun remarked in unison. The crusader wasn't a bad person, but some of the things she could say were….questionable.

"So, since enemies are too strong for us to fight, we'll have to wait until that Mitsurugi guy takes care of that Demon King General before we can get back to fighting." Kazuma declared to the group.

Sighing, Yunyun responded "I guess the least we can do is take care of a few non monster quests."

"We should also find a house." the brunet continued. "I like the inn we're staying in, but it'd be nice to have a place to call our own." Noting the crusader, he remarked "And besides, I have a feeling you'd like a home away from home!"

"Heheh, you read my mind….it'd be nice to not have to get up at 4 in the morning to get here!"

"You get up at 4?! How?!" Yunyun and Kazuma asked at the same time.

"Isn't it obvious? People need a shield, and it's my duty to be ready before everyone else!" The crusader boldly explained herself, in her signature "professional demeanor" as she put a hand on her breastplate.

"I suppose." Yunyun replied. "Now that I think about it, where's Aqua?"

"She's been looking at quests we could take up. She wanted to find something that'd work well for her." Kazuma explained.

"I found something!" Aqua announced as the bubbly figure strolled up to the three. "A nearby lake has been tainted; purify it and ward off the alligators. Reward: 600,000 Erises." The deity read.

Darkness's eyes beamed with interest. "Alligators?"

"If they're in the water, Yunyun and I could just zap them a few times." Kazuma remarked, smirking at the thought of digging his teeth into some alligator meat.

"Aw, I wanted to feel their teeth digging into my skin." The crusader remarked with disappointment. Disturbed, Yunyun got behind Kazuma, genuinely disturbed by her statements. "Uh, why do you do that, Yunyun?" The golden haired woman asked as she tilted her head like a curious child.

Choosing to answer for her, Kazuma responded with a yell "Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because no sane person fantasizes of being mauled by a carnivorous beast. Or even torn into a million pieces by one, let alone an entire group!"

"Nnnggghhhhh!" Darkness grunted, before throwing her head back. As the crusader struggled to regain her composure, sweat began to fly off of her body in between her moans and screams. Proceeding to hug herself, the golden haired woman remarked "You….can b-be mean sometimes, you know that?"

His eyes widening, he asked "What are you-" Then it hit him. The blonde not only enjoyed taking hits, but even reprimanding her turned her on. He sighed as he buried his face in his hands. "Chris wasn't joking when she said you were hopeless."

"Heeeeeyyyyy!" The crusader screamed with the most suggestive tone imaginable.

Hoping to deescalate the situation, Yunyun sheepishly suggested "After yesterday, I wouldn't mind relaxing….I'm liking the sound of going for a swim in that lake after Aqua purifies it-"

"Eeeeyyyaaahhhhhhhhh!" Darkness suddenly screamed, causing Yunyun to shriek and hide behind Kazuma. Again…...not that he minded. He felt the crimson demon's gifted bust pressing against his back.

Unfortunately, but obviously, the crowd of adventurers had noticed the crusader's perverted antics. And many of them, the women especially, began to distance themselves from Kazuma and his friends. He was ready to ask why she was screaming at the thought of them swimming, then it hit him. "Oh, for the love of- she's already thinking that we're going to mosey down over, drop all our armor, and forget to bring swimwear! Yeah, like I'm going to flash three women- wait, Yunyun's still 17…someone out there would probably call me a freaking pedophile though she's almost old enough to be considered an adult."

Having an idea what the crusader was thinking, he questioned "Let me guess, you won't panic if we all wear swimsuits?"

Her pervertedness seemingly vanished as Darkness explained with a neutral facade "I have no problem with that. That'll work perfectly!"

"Uhhhh." Turning around, the four noticed their favorite blackette waitress having observed the commotion. "What's with her-"

"You don't want to know." Kazuma and Yunyun declared at the same time.

"Noted." Megumin responded as she walked away. Turning around, the scarlet eyed girl looked at Yunyun with jealousy.

"So, what's up with this cell again?" Aqua asked as the quartet walked towards the filthy lake. Accompanying them was a steel and wooden cage that was drawn via a horse and carriage.

"Well, if there's alligators, then we need to keep you safe. I'd hate to see you get bit by a croc or two!" Kazuma explained with a sigh. "And besides, if we see them show up, I can get you out of the water. And Yunyun and I can fend them off with a few lightning bolts."

"So what will I do?" Darkness asked curiously. "I could get their attention…" Before the blonde warrior could explain herself, it was only a matter of seconds before she began to breathe heavily as she shivered with excitement.

"Alright, if you want it that much, we'll let one of the gators nibble on you while Yunyun and I deal with the rest!" Kazuma dryly announced as soon as the four reached the lake.

"Are you serious?" Yunyun cried, disturbed at the thought of someone, let alone a friend getting bit by an alligator.

"Really?!" Darkness screamed, her sapphire eyes beaming with excitement.

"No!" He quickly answered the both of them, prompting Yunyun to breathe a sigh of relief, and Darkness to frown in disappointment.

The memory of the crusader saving him from getting beaten to death by cabbages still fresh in his head, Kazuma thought "You're so lucky I'm willing to put up with you."

Wanting to accommodate, he remarked "Look on the bright side…...we could spar while Aqua purifies the lake." And just like that, the crusader got the biggest smile on her face.

It should've been a normal day at the guild. After Kazuma and his friends had left to purify a lake, it had been relatively quiet. The black haired Megumin was desperate for adventure, but no one wanted her. To be fair, who wants to use an arch wizard that only knows one attack? The crimson demon sighed. It pained her, as she ran around the tavern dealing with everyone's requests. Sure, it paid well; the girl at least had a roof over her head. And she was able to send some back home. But she was 17, Megumin should be making a name for herself; make her parents proud, she didn't know.

And that Kazuma, she had no idea what he was thinking. She wasn't asking for money, she just wanted to be a part of a party of adventurers. Granted, she hadn't eaten for three days, so it felt nice to have something to eat. For that, she was grateful. Now her plan was to make enough money to quit being a waitress, especially since the more endowed waitresses were getting bigger tips than her. And as petty as it sounded, Megumin was hoping that she could find some newer recruits, and pay them to take her in.

The sound of the doors opening up pulled out of her thoughts. "Good afternoon, how may I help….you?" Turning around, she saw the fabled knight, Mitsurugi Kyouya. And he looked….rough. Struggling to stand, he limped into the room, his breathing heavily as he used his sword to support himself. A black, unhealthy aura radiated from him. The young woman quickly directed him to a chair as she asked with worry "What happened to you sir?"

"Beldia." The indigo armored knight explained with heavy breaths. "I tried….to beat him. I threw everything I had at him…..but it wasn't enough."

"So why do you sound like you're dying?" A blonde in a red jacket questioned.

Groaning, Mitsurugi explained "That dullahan….he hit me with a death curse. Only thing….that can save…...me now…...is a dispelling art."

Seeing the knight in distress, Luna chimed in, her golden eyes radiating sympathy "I'm so sorry. The only priests that specialize in dispelling...at least to the extent you need, Sir Mitsurugi, are from the Axis Order. And they're two weeks-"

Burying his face into his arms, he cried "I don't even have one week to live!"

"Well, there's that one priestess from Axis." Someone remarked. "I think her name's Aqua."

Life instantly returned to his light blue eyes as he asked "Like the Goddess herself?"

"Yeah, sure." Megumin remarked dryly. "Last I heard, she went to a lake to purify it with a group of adventurers."

"Can you take me to them?" He pleaded.

Knowing how much Megumin had been longing for adventure, Luna offered "How about you accompany him, Megumin? You've done enough for today."

Excitement formed in her deep red eyes as she asked "You mean it?" The moment Luna nodded, the Crimson Demon screamed with joy as she ran into the changing rooms.

"Yesyesyes!" She excitedly thought as she violently threw off, no; freaking ripped off the attire that she had to wear as a barmaid. Changing back into her distinct crimson tunic and cape, she enthusiastically returned to the lobby to properly introduce herself. "At last, my time has come!" Standing on a nearby brick to make herself look taller, the blackette flung her cape back, and cried as her dark red eyes glowed bright enough to illuminate the entire room "My name is Megumin, the strongest and wisest of the Crimson Demons, wielder of the almighty Explosion magic, and I shall more than happily guide you to the Axis archpriest to save you from the clutches of death!"

The entire room went silent from Megumin's show. Then a voice spoke up. An emerald haired and eyed woman who could easily be mistaken for a Goddess, cloaked in a white dress asked "Haven't you ever considered a career in stage acting?"

"Hey!" Megumin retaliated. "Who are you to judge what an almighty Crimson Demon does with her life?"

The green thing smirked at the Crimson Demon's question, and departed without a response. After walking out of the tavern, a sense of irritation formed in her deep green eyes as she looked upward, asking "Who are you calling 'the green thing', Tessler?"

This was probably the easiest job Aqua had to do as a Goddess. After she had entered the cage, Kazuma had moved the cage into the water with that telekinesis skill he learned. And it was nice to just relax. And besides; her ability to purify water was so potent that any liquids or fluids that made contact with her turned into water automatically. This was easy, the blue thing thought. Then a stray thought of Kazuma climbing into the cage and mounting her entered her mind as she slowly brought a hand down to her lower- why on Earth was she thinking about him?

Observing the archpriest laze in the cage, Yunyun walked up to it, asking "How are you doing, Aqua?"

"Lovely." Was her lone response, as she quickly dismissed the perverted thought of Kazuma. "I should be done in a few hours." Then she detected a tremor; noticing shifts in the water, Aqua asked "Yunyun…."

"Yes?" The impossibly adorable brunette asked. It wasn't long before she saw the water becoming more violent. Yunyun was quick to figure out what was going on as she ran off, exclaiming "I'll get them!"

The aqumarine deity's hands began to glow with a watery aura as she focused on purifying the water as soon as humanly possible. After all, if the lake was purified, it would for some reason scare off the alligators. On instinct, as soon as the ravenous alligators had begun to show their ugly faces, Aqua curiously read their thoughts.

"Blue thing?"

"Blue thing?"

"It's blue?"

"A thing that's blue?"

"It's blue! Must eat!"

"BLUE THING!"

"EAT THE BLUE THING!"

Many of the man eating reptiles called out. Aqua's eyelid twitched as she heard their commotion! How dare those beasts refer to her in such a low manner!

A few minutes earlier….

If there was one part of Kazuma that always fascinated him, it's how fast Darkness's fists were, even as he evaded and redirected her punches. He was fortunate to have his deep green cape as he dodged the crusader's punches with enough speed to leave an afterimage. "Tell me something." He began as he grabbed her wrist with one hand, and landed a punch to her side. "If you're this good at swinging fists, then why haven't you learned a brawler class to compliment your defenses?"

Grabbing his arm with one hand as he threw a hook, Darkness put the other on his shoulder, ready to easily break his arm. Not that Darkness would've done that, it would've been awkward to cut off their sparring short because they would've had to ask Aqua to patch it up. And besides, Stephanie was ready to break it up if either of them got carried away. "I have to be honest, I envy you, Aqua and Yunyun."

"How so?" Kazuma asked, as he knocked her on her back, only for the crusader to sweep his leg, knocking him into the grass, too.

Helping him to his feet as they got up, the blonde knight explained with a blush "My family….expects a lot out of me. I come from a long line of crusaders that have fought the Demon King for centuries, so it's expected that I continue the bloodline."

"I see…..wait, centuries?" Kazuma asked in confusion, dodging a haymaker. Then again, with Darkness's strength, every punch she threw was a haymaker. "How is this bastard still alive?"

Noticing his confusion, the crusader explained with a clenched fist "It'd be more accurate to say….Demon Kings…"

"Wait, there's been more than one Demon King?"

"You're joking, right?" He questioned.

Knocking him off his feet with a sweep, the brunet attempted to kick her, only for the crusader to grab his other foot. Pushing him away, she continued "I wish I was, but everytime a Demon King gets destroyed, peace will last for a while. But eventually, someone decides to take on the mantle of Demon King. It's been a cycle that refuses to stop."

"That's horrible!"

"It is….which is why I aspire to either end the current Demon King's cycle of terror….or surrender to him and become his sex slave." Darkness suddenly remarked. Ready to ask if she was joking, Kazuma had lowered his guard. Big mistake. As soon as he did, the crusader instantly tackled him to the ground, and grabbed his face with her hand.

"Wait, I recognize this trick…...oh, my God, she isn't just going to kill me, she's going to GLORY KILL ME!" He realized as he attempted to release her grip on him, only for Darkness to effortlessly lift his head up….and gently rest his head onto the soft, grassy dirt.

Letting go of his face, the Crusader declared as she propped herself on top of him "Looks like I win!"

"I can still do this!" Kazuma confidently responded as he aimed his electrified palms at the Crusader…...only for the blonde knight to grab his wrists, and bring his hands very close to his face. Calling off his attack, he remarked "I guess you still win….." Then a horrific realization came to Kazuma as he looked into the royal blue eyes of Darkness. The way she was sitting on him was….suggestive. He could feel her very warm hips resting right on top of his, and he already felt an all too familiar sensation begin to expand.

"Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit!" He began to think as the blonde's expression changed to confusion then to perverted shock as she began to realize what was happening.

Screaming, Darkness was quick to throw herself off of him as she panicked "You fiend! How do you get excited so easily?" Instinctually, he was quick to cover his bulge with his cape as he stood up. Didn't stop the blonde from looking downward.

"Look in a mirror sometimes; you're extremely pretty." Kazuma remarked. "Too bad you're probably out of my league."

"Funny how you say that….." The blonde replied, trying way too hard not to think what his weapon looked like. The crusader could remember her father pushing her into a relationship when she had wanted to be an adventurer. And now that she was 22, that pressure kept increasing the older she got. Not to mention very few people had booted her out of their parties whenever she got perverted. But Kazuma, with the exception of her oldest friend Chris, he had shown a willingness to put up with her…maybe….

"Aqua's in trouble!" Yunyun cried out with near perfect timing as the brunette interrupted their sparring.

"We're on it!" Kazuma and Darkness responded with near perfect synchronization. The crusader smiled as the three of them ran to save the archpriest, the fantasy of getting bit by an alligator, but feeling Kazuma's erection pressing against her tights didn't leave her thoughts in the slightest…..let alone him claiming her…..

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Aqua cried, fear radiating from her blue eyes as she attempted to purify the lake.

"BBBBLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEETTTTTTTHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGG!" The gators were screaming in unison, which didn't help either as they had started to tear into the cage. Wasn't it supposed to keep Aqua safe? A rather deafening lightning bolt had caused the reptiles to search for the source.

Turning around, she noticed Kazuma, Yunyun and Darkness running in to bail her out. While overjoyed, she was quick to remark "About time you show up, Kazuma! I could've died!"

"But you didn't!" He reassured her as the three of them made very short work of the reptiles. As Kazuma figured, his and Yunyun's access to lightning magic made the alligators a complete joke. Glad to see the creatures dealt with, the group soon noticed the priestess shaking as she finished purifying the lake. Approaching the cage, he asked Aqua with a concerned tone "Are you alright?"

"A little shaken, but I'm doing okay." The royal blue deity replied. Looking at the now clean lake, she continued "And thank you for saving me…..I want to go home now."

"Okay." Moving the cage out of the lake, Kazuma opened it up, letting Aqua loose.

Noticing the shaken priestess, Darkness asked with genuine worry "Are you alright, Aqua?"

"I just want to go home." Was her lone response. Nodding, the quartet respected Aqua's wishes, and left. Luna had warned that if the cage was completely damaged, they'd only get half of the prize money, but because of their efforts, they completed the quest without the cage taking too much damage. And right now, the Goddess had felt a need to hold onto someone. Not wanting to let them go to waste, Darkness had picked up the dead alligators, and threw them in the cage. They were dangerous beasts, but they provided really good materials.

It's a funny thing when you have someone that understands you. Just being around Kazuma, the Goddess somehow started feeling better about their dilemma. Sure, she still wanted to go home, but for now, going on adventures like this wasn't too bad. And besides, the blue haired woman was feeling a lot better just being around him after nearly getting eaten alive. On their way to the inn, Aqua remarked "Wait, I can sense a…..foul aura. It's radiating off of someone, but I can sense it's not originating from them."

"How do you know?" Yunyun asked.

As tempting as it was to say that she was a literal Goddess, the blue thing chose to respond "Call it a priestess's intuition. It smells like death….somebody's dying!"

"Lady Aqua...I have need of your help. I am succumbing to a terrible curse; please, please send someone to heal me so I can free this town from that dullahan." A masculine voice prayed. Aqua could swear she had heard this voice before. But, in her defense, she had sent so many people to the Kingdom of Belzerg that she couldn't exactly remember everyone! Although, she did tend to remember adventurers from Japan in the event that they had joined her Church. Knowing full well the useful idiot could save this dying figure, she bolted off.

"Aqua wait!" Yunyun cried as the brunette ran after her. Confused at how Aqua seemingly forgot that she had nearly gotten eaten, the crimson demon felt the need to follow her.

Kazuma wanted to run after them, but he didn't want Darkness to be left alone either. "Well, I guess it's just us…"

"Can I ask you something?" The yellow haired knight asked as she put a gentle hand on the horse hauling the gators.

"Sure."

"Your dick…..I could've sworn you had wanted me when I had tackled you. I could feel it growing, wanting…..to be free…..and pierce me….." As the knight explained herself, her speaking turned to rather heavy breathing as she began to fantasize of Kazuma dominating him.

"Okay, that one's on you." The brunet teased with a smirk.

"How?" The crusader screamed, taken aback by the accusation.

"Well…..you were sitting on my hips. You kinda wrapped your legs around me. And on top of that….you're gorgeous. But…."

"But what?" Darkness questioned, interest in her voice.

"But I think you're out of my league." Kazuma retorted. Hoping Aqua and Yunyun were going to be okay, he continued as he began kicking a nearby rock "I mean, you speak of yourself as if your family is actually a bunch of extremely important people. And here's me, a nobody that's not even from around here…"

"Kazuma….." The ivory armored woman questioned as she cupped her hands and rested them on her breastplate. "Where are you from?"

The useless neet was tempted to spill the beans to her right there, but he had a better idea. "Tell you what, I hate repeating myself, so let's grab Aqua and Yunyun, and during dinner, I'll explain to both you and Yunyun who I really am!"

Hearing him get so pessimistic about himself, Darkness had began to calm herself down as she responded "Okay. Wait, why me and Yunyun? What about Aqua?"

"Hehe, Aqua already knows about me." The shut in neet responded. Encouraging the horse to move a little faster, he continued "Now let's see what or who Aqua found."

"SACRED DISPEL!" They soon heard Aqua yell with enough force to shake the trees around them. Looking at each other for a minute, Kazuma and Darkness were quick to nod, and ran in the direction of Aqua's scream. Not wanting to be left alone, the horse followed not too far behind them, hauling gators and all.

Now this was Hell for Mitsurugi. After having been inflicted with that death curse from Beldia, every step he had taken felt like a step towards death…..okay, that was too obvious. Sure, it helped that he was accompanied by a crimson demon, but the fact that this SOMEHOW had come as far as she did, knowing only one attack, was both impressive…..as well as borderline idiotic. He kind of wondered if being a barmaid improved her or not.

Even with her deluded nature to entertain him, it couldn't distract him from the pain the warrior felt. The young man could swear death was following him, and would've claimed him if he stopped walking. He needed to get to that Axis priestess if he was going to be healed. He wasn't exactly religious in his home town, but he was ready to join the Axis Order if any of Lady Aqua's followers had found him in his current state. "Wait." He thought. "I could pray to the Goddess herself; perhaps if she hears my voice, I'll receive the help I need."

Falling onto his knees, he could swear his breathing became heavier. Noticing his fall, Megumin was quick to ask "Mitsurugi, what is it?!"

"A few months ago, I was summoned to this world by the Goddess Aqua. If I could pray to her, I might get the help I need."

The ebony haired girl looked at him like he had three heads. Then shrugging her shoulders, she responded "Very well. I'll keep watch while you pray to your heart's content!" Backing off, Megumin walked off to give the wielder of the cursed sword Gram breathing space.

Smiling sadly, he began to pray "Lady Aqua...I have need of your help. I am succumbing to a terrible curse; please, please send someone to heal me so I can free this town from that dullahan."

"You ring?" The deep blue armored knight soon heard. Opening his eyes, he soon saw her…..the very Goddess that he had prayed to, standing on a hill, and the way the afternoon sun had shone on her made the blue thing look like she was glowing with a divine aura, as befitting a Goddess.

Well, she would've continued to look majestic if she didn't suddenly trip on a branch, and proceed to smack headfirst into every rock that somehow got in her way. "Ow!" She cried as she crashed into the first rock.

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

The occasionally useful Goddess must've hit 5 to 10 rocks in a row before she landed right in front of the two. "I'm okay!" Aqua enthusiastically declared as she stood up, despite the mud on her face that was already dissolving from merely being on her.

Noting the mud slowly turning into water as it slid off the archpriest's face, Megumin raised an eyebrow asking "How are you doing that?"

"Call it a passive ability as an archpriest!" Aqua quickly replied to the crimson donned wizard. Noting Mitsurugi, she asked the dying knight "So what happened to you?"

Instantaneously kneeling despite his condition Mitsurugi lowered his head, explaining "Lady Aqua, the dullahan Beldia…...had bested me….in battle. I was hoping to find someone from the Axis Order to heal me so I could finish what I started. And it….must be providence that I'd find you here, Lady Aqua!"

"Lady Aqua?" Megumin asked in confusion. "Uh, I will admit that this priestess does look like a Goddess, but I don't see how she'd be one-"

"Anyway, so upon realizing you were outmatched, you retreated, and judging by the miasma you got hit by a death curse!" The blue thing quickly deduced.

Nodding, the self proclaimed chosen one responded "Yes, Lady Aqua-"

Before he could finish, the useless Goddess's eyes illuminated with a distinct blue, no her entire body began to glow in a bluish white aura, and unique blue lines began to appear all over her body. "I heard enough, sir. Now hold still." Mitsurugi suddenly found himself surrounded by the same bluish white aura as he floated slightly. Now having the isekai'd knight in her grasp, Aqua chanted "My sons and daughters of Axis, I call upon you here and now. This poor unfortunate soul….."

"Um, it's Mitsurugi, Lady Aqua."

"...thank you. Mitsurugi has fallen ill to a terrible curse! And I call upon all of you, lend me your power to heal this boy! SACRED DISPEL!"

A blinding white enveloped Mitsurugi as he embraced what felt like an intense, yet oddly comforting flame. Hmmm, intense yet comforting. Weird combo.

"Ack!" Megumin cried, as she raised her cape over her face to shield herself from the light this priestess produced.

"Aqua, where'd you go- eek!" The blackette heard Yunyun remark, before similarly shielding herself.

"...and that is the general gist of Project Zanza, General Beldia." Medea finished, a look of excitement in her dark green eyes.

"I see." Beldia responded, having listened to the fellow General's plans. "I look forward to seeing it in-"

"SACRED DISPEL!" The two suddenly heard, the cry loud enough to shake his very castle that served as his base.

"Impossible, the only people that would know such an ability are the priests and priestesses of the Axis Order. And as far as it's been reported, there is only one person in Axel that would qualify as an Axis loon is this one priestess."

Raising an eyebrow, the redheaded commander "From my observations, she goes by the name of Aqua. Probably some fangirl of Axis that's pretending to be the Goddess herself. I should investigate this."

"Go right ahead, but watch yourself, General Medea. It's my head if something happens to you." Beldia warned, with a sternness in his eye.

Nodding, the young woman left the castle. As soon as she was out of hearing range, Medea remarked "'It's my head', the irony. Now to see what's going on."

"Whoa!" Kazuma and Darkness remarked. As soon as they got to the source of the noise, they had no idea what else to say. They found Aqua having purged a young man in shining indigo armor of something, and they saw Yunyun and Megumin, wait. Megumin?

"What happened?" The white and yellow armored crusader asked.

"Darkness!" Yunyun exclaimed with a smile. "It was amazing! Aqua somehow sensed that this man here, Mitsy I think…."

"Mitsurugi!" The blonde quickly corrected.

"...Aqua sensed that he was in danger and healed him." The brunette wizard finished.

Approaching Kazuma, the almost overly friendly knight declared "You sir, are a very lucky person to have the Goddess herself with you!"

"Goddess?!" Darkness, Yunyun and Megumin exclaimed at once.

Scratching the back of his head, the brunet responded "Aqua, what do you say we go back to the tavern, and explain to the group everything?"

"I like that plan." Aqua remarked. Looking at those dead alligators they were hauling, she was really liking the sound of sinking her teeth into some meat. Especially the meat of the idiots that called her a "blue thing."

It was a good three hour walk back to Axel. After collecting the prize money, and treating the group to dinner, Aqua remarked to the group "I guess I should tell you who I truly am."

With Kazuma and Mitsurugi to back her up, she continued "But Mitsurugi is right; I am indeed the very Aqua. The very Aqua, Goddess of Water who is worshipped by none other than the Axis Order."

Aqua was expecting some awestruck response from her companions, and they'd choose to acknowledge her as the Goddess that she is. What threw her off was hearing Megumin and Darkness respond "I think you've had too much to drink!"

"Aqua, are you alright?" Yunyun asked with concern.

"I'm not drunk!" Aqua responded loudly. "But yes, I'm alright."

"Isn't it obvious? This woman before is indeed the Goddess Aqua." Mitsurugi chimed in. Darkness and Megumin looked at him like he had lost his mind.

"I have an idea." Kazuma chimed in, as he took a look at his adventurer's card. "Remember how Luna reacted when she had seen your card, Aqua?"

"Oh, yeah. I uhh…..forgot." Grabbing her card from thin air, the blue thing propped it in front of her friends, explaining with a smirk "If this doesn't prove it, I don't know what will."

So that the three women before them could have a comparison, Kazuma handed his card to them.

"Name: Kazuma Satou

Class: Paladin

Secondary Class: Merchant

Race: Human." Yunyun read aloud.

"Name: Aqua

Class: Archpriest

Race:...God?!" Megumin and Darkness read in sync. While the blackette developed a curious look on her face as to how a literal Goddess was standing before them, the blonde's face was slowly turning to one of terror.

"I'm friends with a Goddess, that's so cool!" Yunyun expressed with a sense of joy visible from her dark red eyes. All her life, the brunette had been a massive loner, and right now she had never felt so happy knowing that she had made friends with a literal Goddess. Sure, there was this one time where, ah it didn't matter now.

Approaching the deity, Megumin asked "I'm curious as to how you got here."

Not wanting to blatantly tell the group that she was dragged out against her will, the blue haired figure remarked "You could say I was…...invited."

"Oh."

"Aq…..Aqua….Goddess…." Darkness was all the while mumbling, her entire body shaking to the point one could hear her armor violently clanging around.

"Oh shit!" Kazuma remarked, as he quickly got in between Aqua and Darkness. Smiling sheepishly, he exclaimed "Hey, Darkness. If you're a part of the Eris Order, no one's going to-"

Before he could finish, his blonde friend grabbed him by the shoulders, and gently moved him to the side, and quickly got in front of the Goddess of Water, and pleaded as she fell on her knees "LadyAquahavemercyonmeandmyfamilyforeverythingwehaveeversaidofyouandtheAxisOrder!"

"Slow down, Darkness. Slow down." Aqua responded, taken aback at first at how fast the Eris follower was talking. Pulling the knight into a comforting hug, she reassured her "And besides, everyone in the Eris Order acknowledges me. That's enough."

Figuring the blonde and the blunette were going to need some space, Yunyun and Mitsurugi took a moment to converse while Kazuma gestured for Megumin to follow him. Buying a drink for the both of them, he remembered the destructive power of Explosion that Wiz had conjured as he exclaimed "I owe you an apology."

Tilting her head in confusion, the red eyed loli asked "What for?"

"Rejecting you when I did. The other day, Yunyun and I were saved by this woman that was really skilled in Explosion magic."

The Crimson Demon's eyes glowed with excitement as she began to ask "Tell me about this woman! Did her very presence give off a sense of power?"

"Definitely."

"Is she tall?"

"Oddly specific, but yes."

He wasn't ready for the next question. Her eyes got rather large as she asked him "Does she have large breasts?!"

Now looking at her with a very confused look, he questioned as he raised an eyebrow "Uh, what does the size of a woman's breasts have to do with magic?"

"Well, think of it this way. When you have larger muscles, you are able to expand your mana pool so that your attacks and your arts are stronger in battle." The blackette explained with a grin.

Taking a glance at Yunyun, who was already helping Aqua calm Darkness down, Kazuma noted how all three of them were rather busty. And he had already seen firsthand Yunyun's prowess with magic. "Well, that'd explain why Yunyun is so powerful." He remarked.

"Hehe yeah….." Megumin responded as she looked down slightly before regaining her composure.

"But to answer your question, yes. This woman has an incredible chest." The teal clothed man remarked.

"And one more question; does her name start with the letter 'W'?"

Noticing Megumin tremoring with a sense of excitement that surpassed even Yunyun, Kazuma reluctantly replied "Yes….?"

"I knew it!" Jumping onto a nearby table, Megumin's deep ruby eyes glowed with passion as she stretched her arms out to assert her dominance and looked at the ceiling, declaring "You have had the honor of meeting Wolbach, the Goddess of Sloth and Violence! The most powerful arch wizard in all of Belzerg, and my motivation for walking the path of explosions to this day!"

"Uh, first. I don't know any Wolbach, we were rescued by this merchant named Wiz." Was the brunet's response. Not only that, but he couldn't help but notice how short the blackette's tunic was as he jokingly asked "And second, are those black pan-"

The last thing he felt was a staff of hard oak crash into the side of his face before he could answer that question.

"Ok, I deserved that one." Was the first thing to come out of his mouth as soon as he woke up, no thanks to Aqua patching up the rather severe head injury Kazuma had sustained.

"Yes, you did." Megumin dryly remarked.

Suddenly feeling himself get lifted, Darkness declared "And this is why I joined his party! To keep Kazuma in line whenever he's around other women!"

"Sure." The blackette teased, having observed the crusader's...antics.

"Anyway! I got off topic, and I was hoping to ask you if you were interested in joining our party. We could use your talents." Kazuma jumped in, hoping to get back on topic.

Rather than show a face of excitement, Megumin's was that of sus…suspicion. "Are you sure you want me for my mastery of the explosion art, or do you have ulterior motives?"

"Whoa, where'd that come from?"

"Well, you already have a party of three women, you take in a fourth woman, people are going to wonder if you're trying to start a harem!" The red eyed loli remarked. "...that never turns out well."

Grinning, he reassured the most explosive of all lolis "Well, there's one way to keep people from thinking that. Hey, Mips. Do you want to join out- where'd he go?" As soon as he was about to ask the funny acting knight, Kazuma was quick to notice that he had left.

"He-uh, left after we were done chatting." Yunyun explained, walking up to the group. "He said that he needed to train harder, but he was open to fighting alongside us to deal with the dullahan."

"We should probably find him before he gets himself killed." Aqua remarked. Yawning, she remarked "But that can wait until tomorrow."

"I don't mind that. We're going to need to be at our best if we're going to take on that dullahan." Darkness remarked with a smile on her face. Noticing everyone's confusion, the blonde remarked as her smile vanished "What? I thought that was our plan."

Putting a hand on her hip, Megumin remarked with a confident grin "I'll do one better!"

"I'm not sure if I like where this is going." Kazuma chimed in.

"Naw, it'll be fine!" Flaring her cape out, and putting a hand over her eye, she boasted as her eyes glowed "Mitsubishi's greatest mistake was confronting the Demon King General at his base. But I shall blast the fiend's castle over and over again, force him to come out and confront us in an open area, where he'll be at a disadvantage!"

"This seems like a bad idea." Yunyun expressed. But her concern soon turned to confidence as the ruby eyed brunette realized "But if we all work together, we can beat even a General."

"You know what? I'm up for joining your party, just don't try anything, Kazuma!" The blackette requested.

"Right…...since we all know now that Aqua's a Goddess, I'm thinking we should start calling her by a different name." The paladin remarked, hoping to change the subject.

Smirking, Aqua remarked "I'm in. You guys keep calling me Aqua, people might get suspicious. But if I can go by a different name, that suspicion should vanish."

"How about Mizu?" Yunyun asked. Kazuma facepalmed.

"That's just Japanese for Water." The brunet thought.

"Oasis?" Darkness thought. "I like the sound of it."

Chuckling, the blue thing replied "Ooohh, Oasis sounds lovely."

"Yeah, that it does. There's just a problem with the suggestions." Kazuma remarked, a feeling of fatigue in his green eyes. "Those suggestions still correlate with water, just like Aqua. I was hoping that we could think of a name that didn't have anything to do with water."

"Melia." Megumin suddenly chimed in. "How about Melia?"

"Okay, I like that name!" Aqua expressed with excitement.

"Excellent!" Kazuma exclaimed. "From now on, we shall refer to Aqua as Melia when we're around other people!" Suddenly, he felt a chill that made him shiver rather violently.

"Kazuma!" Yunyun remarked, pulling him into a hug, hoping to warm him up.

"Thanks. I'm suddenly feeling sensitive to this weather." He responded, grateful for the gesture. "I think I just need to get some rest."

"Please do. Weather must be changing, and I'd hate it if any of us got sick." Darkness remarked, noting the change in temperature as night fell.

Having retired to his room for the night, Kazuma dropped his essentials before jumping to bed. He had no idea why, but he was feeling really cold. And he was hoping he could sleep it off. As soon as he closed his eyes, he heard the rechristened "Melia" ask "Kazuma?"

"What is it?"

Slowly looking up, he noticed the priestess had already changed into a light blue sleeping top and sweatpants. Climbing into his bed, the blue thing responded "I wanted to repay you for saving me from those alligators earlier."

A part of him felt awkward having a literal Goddess lying next to him, but at the same time, they got along. He was beginning to wonder if Aqua wanted him sexually, but something about that sounded like a bad idea. "Not only that, but you're shivering. You could use…...a warm body. And a warm pillow." She explained herself, a soothing tone in her voice.

Now having the deity in his face, the brunet asked "What do you have-" Before he could finish, Aqua grabbed his head, and gently propped his very face into her bosom.

"Okay, forget getting a lap pillow, boob pillows should be the new craze!" Was the last thing he could think about as he wrapped his arms around the sapphire haired woman, and fell into a deep sleep. Neither of them noticed Darkness, who had observed Aqua stuff his face into her bust.

Instead of showing a perverse interest, the white and yellow armored knight was oddly disappointed. "I should let him try that with me." she thought. Remembering how he got turned on during that sparring session, she retired to a room at the inn, where crusader began to dream of Kazuma sucking her breasts like a newborn.

To anyone that finds this journal, please return it to me if you know what's best for you!

Notes on Project Zanza

Day 1 of Project Zanza: Very little information exists. As the project was founded by the Demon King, only he and select Generals know about Project Zanza and what he seeks to achieve. The only thing he'll say is that it's a new beginning. But of what; I don't know. The King has called the Gods of Belzerg fools; having seen the Axis Order and their fanaticism for the Goddess Aqua, I think he has a point…..

Day 12: The Demon King has finally finished the blueprints for Project Zanza. Looking at the notes, I can't really understand what the end goal is. But I know this; once it's ready, no one will oppose my precious father…..unless we find a man worthy enough to succeed him.

Day 1440: It's been 4 years since we started Project Zanza. We've finally made some progress in it's completion. And just recently, I've been granted an assignment. The Demon King has said he detected an unnatural presence. He claims it to be holy in origin; it's probably another adventurer sent by the useless Goddess to die. Eris isn't any better, but at least her followers seem to have a good head on their shoulders.

Except for this one crusader of the Eris Order….the Demon King has instructed me to keep an eye on her. Not so sure what's so special, other than that she gets off to getting hit. Heh, as I write this, I'm observing her using herself as a glorified meat shield at the annual cabbage harvest. Wait….cabbages have been an unfortunate cause of death to many adventurers, and here's this freak, killing scores of those blasted cabbages by letting them crash onto her body. This could be problematic…..

Day: 1500: I've had the liberty in seeing this new adventurer in action. His name is Kazuma Satou; and he might be the person we might be looking for. But I need to separate him from his party. Damn, something about his archpriest; she seems much stronger than expected. And what's this; he took in the future chieftess of the Crimson Demons?! And that Crusader….it can't be!

I want to say that I'm sorry for how long it took to get this published. I was meaning to finish this in September, but I developed a very severe case of reverse writer's block, and had no idea when to stop. That said, while this chapter isn't smutty to me, this is the only time I'm going to warn you: I have a lactation kink, and I'm not sorry!

Note to self: stop reading doujins of Konosuba, although I'm amazed at how the writers can keep everyone in character. Got any favorites, mine are probably "Punishment For this Deplorable Goddess!" and…... "Give the Lustful Sword to this Useless Female Knight!" (It's Kazuma x Lalatina focused). I still laugh at the ending to the first one… Anyway, I hope someone out here appreciates my Kid Icarus cameo. I won't make cameos from games I've played and anime I've watched be a running gag for this story, though it's tempting.

Special thanks to a Contriversal News for giving me a few ideas for where to take this story (go and check out his work if you can)! Now, wasn't there something I was supposed to do? Oh, yeah. Catch up on Konosuba….eh, I'll get around to it when I can. Right now, I'm hooked on RE: Zero.

Next Chapter: The Cold Always Bothered me Anyway