Looks like we are back in business folks. This will be posted on AO3 as well, just in case Fan fiction gives up the ghost again
This chapter is only in Sheldon's POV. A little angsty, but our ship will always float, you know me...
Sheldon:
Sheldon sat uncomfortably in the car during the ride over to Pasadena Hilton, sweating in his new brown striped dress shirt that Raj had insisted he wore.
"I would have been much more comfortable in my normal attire."
"You need to impress the ladies, and nothing says impress like new clothes." Raj pulled into the parking garage, and then placed the car in park. He adjusted Sheldon's tie and said, "You have to dress up for dates. It's a must."
"Reason 72 why dating is a waste of time."
"You really should have gone on that blind date that Howard and I planned for you. You could have met the love of your life in a coffee shop." Raj nudged him, but Sheldon shrugged it off. This issue had long been put to bed; dirty sock or no, Sheldon never would have gone on a blind date.
"From a dating site? Pure hokum." Sheldon laughed. Raj was a romantic fool. No wonder he had been single for so long, he tried too hard. "The perfect mate is a myth. The sooner you realize that the better."
They rode the escalator to the second floor of the hotel. A crowd had already formed at the entrance to one of the convention rooms. Sheldon's senses were heightened as he hunted the crowd for anyone who might pass as Amy. He hoped his Vulcan hearing would recognize her voice, but her soft tones were drowned in the hubbub of the mass of people ahead of them.
The dimly lit room had over 20 small tables set up in a rectangular grid pattern. Sheldon, much to his irritation, was instructed by the bubbly attendant that the men would be the ones moving from table to table rather than the women, who would remain seated.
Following a 10-minute lecture on sexism and the equal rights amendment Sheldon could not resist adding, "You know, the pre-copulatory harassment rate by antelope females in estrus against their antelope male counterparts were significantly higher than the non-agitated group. Is this why you chose to agitate the males in this mating ritual? I only hope I am not expected to emulate the antelopes and duel for territory." He had just spoken to Amy about this very subject of herding animals and mating however, the host seemed just as unimpressed as Amy was.
The exasperated host told Sheldon he just needed to move the next table in an unsystematic order and handed him his badge and the list of numbers for his 'dates'.
The bubbly host's smile dropped as she turned to Raj with the warning, "Make sure he doesn't disturb the flock."
Sheldon was about to point out that it would have been much more efficient to put the table numbers in order, rather than the slapdash affair of randomization, but Raj pulled him away before they were kicked out.
His mind returned to the antelopes as he followed the herd, and looking around the room at the dating participants he thought he really should have thought this plan through more carefully. Not only would he be subjected to precious wasted hours of hum drum chit chat that would bore even Leonard, but he had not factored in the desperation of some of his work colleagues; so many of whom were in attendance, that its seemed like a science department meeting.
Sheldon approached Female number 5, his first appointment for the night, a rather fetching young grad student who Sheldon knew all too well.
"Dr. Cooper. What are you doing here?" Alex, Sheldon's research assistant was already breaking the rules by addressing Sheldon by his name. But he wasn't surprised; she had long left Sheldon's employ to pursue her Post grad work, but when she had worked for him, she hadn't adhered to any rules.
"No names, Alex, I mean female number 5. I knew you were bad at taking instructions, but I didn't think even you would break the confidentiality of the 'dater' slash, 'desperate dater' paradigm."
Alex sat back in her chair, and crossed her arms, with a smug grin, "Oh, I see and I think I know which one we can classify you as, yes?"
"Well, I am not really a dater so much as... well...um... a researcher. I am dabbling in the social sciences, keeps the mind fresh... What's life without frivolity? But what are you doing here culling out a mate from this lot? Isn't this event a complete waste of your time?"
Alex blushed, "Oh thank you, I guess you are right, I shouldn't need to go one of these events, it's just..."
"No, I don't mean that. Shouldn't you be rewriting that grant you submitted last month? Those spreadsheets need work."
Alex took a deep breath, "Well, thank you for reading it… I guess… I do have good practice from completing your bathroom logs. Thanks for that by the way... Dr.. I'm mean..." Alex looked at Sheldon's name tag, "Really? Mr. Fantastic?"
"Yes... having to put up with these tedious conversations will indeed be a stretch... Get it... Stretch?" Sheldon snickered but Alex just crossed her arms, "Okay... well, I see someone missed the Fantastic Four movie."
Alex scoffed as she took a sip off her drink, "I heard it was terrible."
Sheldon sat back in amazement that his seemingly ignorant grad student had been astute enough to avoid the movie, "You know what, female number 5, I think there might be hope for you after all. Heads up, I think Kripke has the table next."
The bells rang just as Alex looked in horror at Barry Kripke's leer from across the room. Sheldon didn't bother saying good-bye just a quick assignment for his former assistant, "Oh, I may have forgotten to mention, I still need the bowel movements categorized by consistency in relation to my previous dinner schedule. Cruciferous vegetable night did not go as planned."
"I don't work for you anymore-"
"Never leave a job undone."
Alex just slumped her shoulders and gave a half-smile, but Sheldon was already seated at his next date, a stunning Indian-American woman. He took one look at her ebony hair, perfect jawline and ruby red lips and was struck by two things: One her accent gave away that she was definitely NOT Amy, and two she looked exactly like Princess Punjali. However, her likeness to the fictional princess was short-lived. He spent the short date hearing all about dental hygiene and how her archaic family obligations were forcing her to date.
"I see the regulars are at it again." She nodded over to Kripke who ducked his head down to avoid her smile. "This is my third time trying speed dating."
"Well... romantic love as the basis for marriage has only existed since the nineteenth century. Up until then, arranged marriages were the norm, and it served society quite well. Besides, given the fact that you have dated," Sheldon looked around the room and did a quick calculation, "Over 80 men..."
The woman snorted at the suggestion, and sipped her drink with defiance, "I have not dated 80 men!"
"I beg to differ. You said you participated in three other speed dating events. Given the number of tables, simple math really 20 times 3 less 10 for average repeat attendees, such yourself and..." here Sheldon nodded towards Kripke. Then with a considered look at the embodiment of Princess Punjali he added, "Given your apparent age and social standing... I'd say let your parents have a crack at it. Doesn't look like you have been hitting any home runs under your own steam."
In a huff, the woman stood up almost knocking the table over, Sheldon rose to meet her not as a gentleman, but to correct her social error, "Oh I think you are confused, it's the men who must rotate."
"Rotate on this pal!" The woman held up her middle finger to Sheldon, and he looked away as he quickly moved to the next date.
Sheldon perused the crowd, listening for the voice he had heard on the phone over the last few months. Though he had no idea what she looked like, he had an image in his mind that he couldn't explain.
She had to be brunette; he was sure of it for no other reason than his own desire and his fantasies of her always had brown hair, long chocolate brown hair held up with chopsticks. Sheldon's pleasant thoughts were rudely interrupted.
"Hello Dumbass. What the hell are you doing here?" Leslie Winkle's smug grin only served to enrage and discourage Sheldon simultaneously as he tried to maintain his composure.
"None of your beeswax! But if you must know, I'm looking for someone."
"Well, I have to say, I never thought I would see the day Captain dumbass would be so desperate to go on circuit dating."
"It's Doctor dumbass to you, and I should point out that you're on this desperate merry go round, too missy!"
Leslie melted in her chair, "Yeah. And the worst part is, I still have to spend 10 minutes in conversation Kripke, and Raj."
Sheldon shrugged and said flatly, "Well, you could go home."
"I think you're right." Leslie got up and left before the bell rang.
It was at this point that the attendant asked Sheldon not to scare off any more guests or he would be the one leaving. He agreed only because he hadn't found Amy yet. The next woman was pleasant enough. A round-faced girl with a rather lovely pair of eyes; but the poodle shaped earrings were a turn off for Sheldon. She smelled of buttercream frosting, however before Sheldon could say hello, her attention was drawn across the room.
"Hey... Um... Dr.. Fan. Tell me, did you arrive with that man over there. With the caramel skin and perfect smile..." She pointed to Raj who couldn't take his eyes of her. She blushed and returned her attention to Sheldon, "I met him last year, I tried to email him, but the email bounced and the dating place said they couldn't give up his information."
Sheldon nodded back to Raj and said, "He is always looking for love in these places. He just told me a story of some baker that he fell madly in love with and... Oh.. wait a minute." Sheldon leaned in and asked, "Tell me..." Sheldon said, "Do you enjoy completing scrapbooks about your pet?"
She nodded, "Did he really say, love?" She asked with eager brown eyes begging for an answer. Though Sheldon may not believe in true love, who's to say Raj couldn't take another bite at the apple.
"He did say love. But he always does, so be careful. He is Dr. Rajesh Koothrapali. Email is Dr-to-the-stars . Phone is 818-555-6548. He is very well off, a good Warriors of Ka'ah player and extremely single."
The woman grabbed her purse searching for a pen. As she scribbled his name and information on a napkin, Sheldon leaned over, and said in a low voice, "He is one of my best friends, and I would appreciate it if you didn't cause him any undo harm or therapy bills. He can only get so many dogs named after spices before it becomes a problem. Good night."
Sheldon moved to the next table and gave a halfhearted smile to the next date, a statuesque blond with short hair, pleasant smile and full lips. Her sparkling eyes tracked his every movement like a cat as she rattled off her resume and interests. Words like Klingon, Sand script, atomic decay all flooded the one-sided conversation, but Sheldon's attention was elsewhere. His Vulcan hearing was set on the brunette at the next table. Her voice had a familiar husky timbre and what he could catch about organic chemistry and neuroscience seemed dazzling. She looked just like the stunning woman at the Cal-Tech conference, only more beautiful.
The blond woman was still trying to catch Sheldon's attention, "I do love flags, I must say. I know most people don't find them fascinating, but I do. Not as much as I love comic books. I mean, I have a small collection, just around 300 from the early sixties, but they are all mint. I think my Flash 123 is my favorite. Do you like comics?"
"Oh um... sure... I love flags..." Sheldon took a sip of his drink and leaned toward the brunette who noticed his stares.
She smiled at him for a moment and pulled her hair behind her ear, before returning her attention to the tall man seated across from her. Sheldon recognized him as the chemist he had met at a conference recently. He must have been over 6'5 tall and Sheldon remembered how the women had swooned over the chemist's British accent. Sheldon had been unsurprised that the chemist seemed to know all about Sheldon's work, however, at the moment all of the English man's focus was on his date who seemed to be darting her attention between him and Sheldon who couldn't stop looking at her.
Finally, the bell rang, and Sheldon jumped to take the chair offered by the tall giant from the foreign land.
"Here you are, sir. Kept it warm for you." He held out the chair for Sheldon, who couldn't be bothered to look at him. "This one is a delight." The man smiled at Amy, but his smile broadened when he looked at Sheldon, "Dr., if you have the time, I'd love to discuss..."
Sheldon cut him off, "I doubt I will, besides, the men rotate, so please do so, thank you." Sheldon finally sat down and faced the woman, who was gingerly sipping on a mixed drink with an umbrella in it and a large piece of pineapple. The cherry was already gone, but the stem had been twisted in a knot, lying on the napkin.
She had strong features, a pointed chin, high cheekbones and piercing green eyes with flecks of light green like peridotite set in jade. Her long straight brown hair was parted in the middle and had an unusual shine, like oil on a muddy river or a duck. She wore a flowered dress with ruffles round the neck that hid her name tag. The most appealing quality was her smile, that lit up her face, which Sheldon happily returned. If this woman wasn't Amy, he would be sorely disappointed.
"Hello." She licked the remnants of the drink off her lips. She had that throaty voice, just like his Amy. Sheldon couldn't speak. He couldn't ruin the moment, but he hoped she would speak again.
She giggled as she said, "A doctor, huh? Usually, doctors don't have too much trouble finding dates. Especially one who advertises himself as Fantastic."
Sheldon was taken back by the challenge and the slight smirk on the woman's mouth, so he said to defend himself, "I don't have any trouble finding dates."
"Oh really, then why are you here at this outdated, albeit efficient mating ritual that's akin to a human self-service counter?"
"I'm looking for a special someone." He said with a smile.
He found her. It had to be Amy. She cocked her head, with a slight frown as if of recognition, but it hadn't registered yet.
"I think this is hardly the place to find a soul mate, if one believed in such... if you don't mind the language...Malarkey." She lifted her glass, "But it could be the virgin Cuba libre I'm drinking."
"Strong words, but..." Sheldon's rapid breath held back a laugh, and he said, "I think I understand the African Kudu, whose social structure dictates that other than the mating season, the beasts spend their time with bachelor groups while the females stay in their herds."
Her eyes lit up, "I've just read a paper on that very subject, in fact, I was just talking about it with my friend..." Her voice trailed off.
Sheldon's mouth curled in a grin as he saw her eyes widen.
"It's you! Why? What are you doing here!? How did you know where it was?" Amy whispered, if a shout could be considered a whisper. She leaned across the table and cupped her hands around her mouth as if to shield her words, but those at other tables nearby had noticed her tone as did Sheldon. He just smiled and smugly took a drink of his water.
"It was a simple deduction. You see, you mentioned that you were going on a circuit dating event this weekend."
"I never told you I was doing this exact one!"
"Yes you did. You mentioned it on Thursday, and I quote, "I think dating takes too much time. I should try this circuit dating I've heard of recently. Seems efficient and by luck there is one close to a coffee shop I've been to before." You forgot that the only coffee shop you have ever been to was the one where you lost your phone."
"How could you know that?"
"I've asked you if drank coffee, and you said, only at home. Hence you do not drink coffee when you are out. Therefore your mention of a coffee shop would have to be one that you are familiar with, I deduced it would have to be the coffee shop on Lake and Eagle Rock Blvd and took a gamble." Sheldon sat back and crossed his arms, content with his conclusion. However, Amy's frown told him his detective skills were not welcome.
"You said I had to beware of stalkers, but you never said you'd be one!" Her voice reinforced the message he was getting from her facial expression.
Sheldon had expected a warm welcome, possibly an embrace and though he wasn't quite ready for the physical contact, he had mentally prepared himself for any form her pleased reaction would take. She might try and hold his hand, or hug him, and he would lean into it in an attempt to placate her needs while preserving his personal space, he might go so far as to pat her gently on the back. Perhaps she would attempt to kiss him on the cheek or even perhaps on the lips. He doubted that she would be so bold, but he had to be prepared for anything. What he had not prepared himself for was the glaring daggers of anger that were flying across the table.
With a jolt, Amy stood up and glared down at him from the unusual vantage of height her raised position suddenly gave her. In a pained voice she spat out at him, "How could you ruin everything?!" Then without another word, she ran from the room.
The host came to the table, she had finally had enough of Sheldon's antics, "Okay buddy, you're gone. HANK! Escort this guy out."
A rather large man with forearms like 75mm guns came toward him, but Sheldon was already rushing after Amy. His long legs quickly traversed the distance and he caught her just as she exited the ballroom.
He grabbed her arm, but she pulled it out of his grip spinning to face him. He jumped back and barked, "What is your problem?"
"MY PROBLEM? You're the one who has ruined everything! How could you break our pact without even consulting me? We had an agreement! No personal information, no physical contact!"
"It's you who wanted physical contact! You were the one going on and on about meeting someone! Some other man who would woo you into his bed!"
Amy looked around as if worried that someone could hear their conversation. She must have decided she didn't care, because she shouted at him, "What are you talking about? I said I might want to date! What's wrong with that!?"
"What's wrong with that is that this mystery date would not be a one-time thing. You'd go on date after date, and then maybe you'd invite him for dinner at your house. Maybe cook him that spaghetti dinner you raved about! He'd be with you, maybe on your couch, one thing would lead to another, and before you know it, you'd be in a relationship!"
"Even if I was, what does that have to do with you!? You don't want that, you've stated it numerous times. Why can't I date and we still keep up our communications?" Amy put her hands on her face and cried out, "Why did you come here? Why did you ruin everything!?"
"You ruined it with all this talk of finding someone to placate your need for physical contact. I have no doubt that you will find someone. Anyone of these men would be clamoring to be with you. Then what? How do you explain us? I have this man I speak to everyday, who knows my every thought and desire, but you sir are just a boy toy. Nothing more than a walking..."
Amy pointed at his face and spat out, "Don't you say it!"
"Fine...You just want your endocrine system awash with hormones from just anyone who will look at your pretty face! You'd think any date of yours would put up with our constant texting, our late-night calls, our..." Sheldon leaned in and whispered, "...our... sessions?"
Amy pushed him away and said, "I don't see why not! If I did date, my friends come with the package. I am who I am. I guess you forgot that when you ruined what we had by showing your face here!"
"You're the one who ruined it by craving physical contact! You said nothing would change. But you know it would! We were just fine without it, but no... you had to go out and find some man just to feel good about yourself for your own selfish need for physical contact."
Sheldon could see Amy's face tense up every muscle. Her eyes narrowed at him, and she said slowly, "What is so wrong with that? Am I not worth being held or even kissed?"
"You are worth more than that. If that is all you want, then fine! Here!" Suddenly Sheldon leaned into her small frame and placed his lips on hers. It was an angry gesture. He had to get her to see that it didn't mean anything. It was just two people's 34 facial muscles merged together nothing else. She would see that that was all it was.
But slowly as he moved his lips around hers, all the scents and sounds around him seemed to disappear. He had the sensation of falling and being caught at the same time. He knew it was just a passing sensation. He knew it would fade, but it didn't; the overpowering feeling grew, along with his desire to continue to kiss her, to hold her. Sheldon had seen films, read books, he thought he knew all there was to know about kissing, except he realized, his own reaction to it. That he wasn't prepared for, and it frightened him.
He pulled away, not realizing that his hands had found their way to her hips or his entire body was pressed against hers. Sheldon's eyes were focused on her lips and he slowly stepped back in shock as he processed the action; cataloging the feeling that was surging through him. Amy was breathless, but a gentle smile had formed on her soft lips. Her eyes glistened as she took a step closer to him and leaned forward to kiss him again.
Then as she saw his face, her expression froze and her smile began to melt. His eyes flickered in confusion, as she backed away. She took a deep breath and her lips trembled as she turned her face to the floor. Sheldon could only see the top of her head as she spoke to him.
"Sheldon, this is why I would never dream of asking you to be in a physical relationship with me." She forced her head up to look him in the eyes that still housed confusion from his own actions. "This right now, this disdain, and this fear I see on your face. Why would I ever want to put you through that? For what, like you said, my own selfish need for physical contact." He wanted nothing more than to reach out for her but he couldn't make his body carry out the action.
"I knew this would happen." Amy put her hands on her face, it felt as if her head were about to explode. "This is what I wanted to avoid. You didn't need to know about any of this. I would have kept you as my special friend. Do I want more from you? Of course, I do. I want that more than anything and I have done for some time now, but I have kept it hidden."
"You lied to me?"
"I protected you, because..." Amy reached down and grabbed Sheldon's hand. He allowed the action but was confused by it. His reaction to the kiss confused him, the feeling he had when he felt her body close to him confused him, but her next words confused him the most:
"I want you to be the one who takes my hand, holds me at night or kisses me in the morning when I wake up. I know this sounds far-fetched, even crazy, but in the time we have known each other, I've..."
Amy caught her breath and Sheldon stepped closer, but she backed away and put her hand up warding him off.
"I know you don't want this... Physical contact, a relationship? You don't want a relationship with me. Sure...I could ask you for one, and play off your need for companionship or even your need for closure. The matter would be closed, I would be your girlfriend, and you wouldn't have to worry anymore. But I would always want more, and you could never give it. I want a boyfriend who will take me on dates, hold my hand, want to be with me when I am sad, and hold me at night when I am alone and afraid. I want everything that you don't. Why would I put a person I care for, through that? I would never do that to you. If you care enough about someone, you put their needs above your own and what I need, you can't give."
Amy let go of Sheldon's hand and held tightly onto the strap of her purse as if for strength. "Sheldon I don't even know your last name, yet I know you enough to know your desires, your needs and wants... and I know you don't want this."
He was frozen as he watched her slowly disappear down the escalator stairs.
Finally, he found his voice and said in a whisper to the empty hallway, "But I love you."
Well, they met... FINALLY!
A little call back to one of my older stories Intimacy Collaboration for Systematic Desensitization. Remember that Amy could twist a cherry stem with her tongue; I had to throw that in there. That was a hint I left you guys EARLY in this story.
So I left you guys on a cliff hanger! But never fear! You know I always steer this ship into harbor!