Chapter 7 shifting sands

Kai woke with a jerk, nerves on high alert as he tried to clear his mind enough to figure out what had woken him. It only took him a moment as the thing that woke him sighed softly in her sleep and tightened the arm she had slung across his chest. Kai shuddered hard and slid to the side out from under the warm arm that had wrapped around him. He sat up on the side of the bed, clutching the edge of the bed and flexing his hands rhythmically as he tried to calm his overwrought nervous system.

It had been nearly 20 years since someone had touched him.

Well, touched him when he was conscious and not intending him harm. (he was definitely NOT thinking of that time when Bonnie had touched his chest when she was looking for the Acendant and made him lose his breath because the sensation was so intense and potent that he couldn't breathe and he wanted to run or ask her to press harder or not touch him at all he wasn't sure just that it was overwhelming and he couldn't think and….damn, chill with the flashback Kai!)

Of course, he had touched Bonnie, but that was just it. He had touched her. Sure it was violent but he had been in charge, he knew what to expect and he had control of himself and the situation.

Here…this…was something…different.

He felt totally outside his depth with that innocent touch. The simple…humanness of it left him feeling insanely vulnerable, craving it and even more and yet, unable to handle the sensory overload.

Just more proof, if he had needed it, that he was fucked up.

He closed his eyes as he breathed deep, letting the air whoosh out of him as he scrubbed vigorously at his face and hair. He looked again at the witch in the bed, facing him on her side with the hand that had been around him now curled into her chest.

God, she was pretty.

Kai felt an odd twinge in his chest and rubbed at the spot for a moment as he fought the sudden longing to lay back down and just stare at the girl in his bed.

Instead, he got up and walked to the ensuite bathroom, an obscenely large and floral wallpapered nightmare but it served its purpose. He leaned over the sink, propped heavily on one arm as he used the other to turn on the cold water and splash his face, a feeble attempt to reset his equilibrium. He looked up into the mirror and at the face that stared back at him. A face he was intimately familiar with, given that it was his own but yet, looking at it now, he felt strangely disconnected. He wondered idly what she saw when she looked at him. Did she see an attractive guy? Or someone crazy? Or an abomination that not even his own family would allow to touch them? He shook his head, scrubbing at his face as a slightly manic bark of laughter escaped him.

Did it even matter what she saw? He thought bitterly.

He lowered his hands and looked back at his reflection, the wild look in his eyes telling him that, yes, yes it mattered way more than he wanted it to. He squeezed his eyes shut, running his hands into his hair and fisting the strands as he acknowledged just how fucked he was.

It was then he heard the rustling from the other room. A few seconds later and a small figure came staggering into the bath, barely making it to the toilet before vomiting in truly spectacular form. It kinda made him think of a horror movie he'd seen once as he watched in a somewhat horrified fascination.

Damn. That had to feel awful. In point of fact, he knew just how awful it did feel as he had spent more time that he cared to consider experimenting with getting drunk off his ass until he figured out how much could actually kill him.

He had a surprisingly high tolerance.

He also had a surprising twinge of empathy for the girl heaving before the porcelain throne. After a moments hesitation, he turned around and grabbed a washcloth from the cabinet behind him, wetted it and wrung it out before stepping silently over to the miserably hunched figure on the floor and wrapped it around her neck then, after hesitating for a moment, he turned and sat down with his back against the sink cabinet. After a moment (and a few more gross retching sounds), a small, brown hand crept up and dragged the cloth around and over her face as Bonnie slumped to the side against the garden tub step.

Kai watched her for a few moments sitting there, eyes closed, breathing very deliberately before he stood up and grabbed one of the small, paper bathroom cups and filled it with water. He walked over and nudged her with his toe.

"Here. Rinsing your mouth will definitely help."

Bonnie cracked an eye open at him. "Kai, I've been dead and didn't feel this bad. Not thinking anything is gonna help much at this point."

Her usual smooth voice was all croaky and raspy from sleep and puking and Kai was surprised to find he found it oddly erotic. He set the cup down beside her and, without saying a word, left the room.

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Bonnie wanted to cry. She also wanted to die…again. She had never before drank as much as she had earlier and now she knew why Caroline had always said drunk was fun but payback was hell. Her head ached and she fell into another round of helpless retching. She prayed to anyone listening and promised, if she survived this, she would never, ever drink again.

Well…. at least not overdrink.

When she felt a bit better, she cracked her eyes open again to find that Kai had left the room. She knew she had been snappy with him but she was feeling too bad to really care. She looked down to note he had left the little cup of water by her side. Figuring what the hell, she picked it up and did as he had advised, mildly put out to realize it did actually help a little. She crinkled the cup and tossed it half-heartedly at the trashbin then melted down til she was lying with her face pressed to the cool tiles of the floor.

She felt perversely, and stupidly, abandoned since he had walked out. It made no sense and made her feel even worse for wanting him there. She didn't even like him but Bonnie hated being alone even on a good day…and right now was definitely not. She felt herself on the verge of tears and tried hard to hold them back, not wanting the worse headache sure to follow.

A few more minutes passed and she heard a shuffling and cracked her eyes open to see Kai entering the room. He sat down in front of her, Indian-style, and then set a bottle in front of her and something else. She opened her eyes a bit more to see and found herself tearing up again at the sight of a Gatorade and package of saltine crackers.

"Whoa, don't turn on the waterworks! Trust me, that will be a headache you don't want to face." Kai's face was slightly panicked looking as he warned her.

Bonnie slowly pushed herself into a sitting position and reached for the Gatorade. It was lemon-lime, not her favorite, but right now she found herself parched and willing to try anything. She twisted the top and took a big swig, screwing her face up at the sharp tang.

"Take it slow or you'll just ralph again," Kai warned.

Bonnie swallowed before surprising herself by cracking a laugh at his wording. "Ralph? Haven't heard that one in awhile."

Kai's grimaced, "20 years maybe?'

Bonnie grinned, "At least."

Kai just reached over and grabbed the crackers, popping the plastic open before grabbing a handful and stuffing them in his mouth and chewing loudly.

Bonnie felt sick again watching and turned her head, "Eww, Kai, can you not? I'm a breath away from re-enacting Pitch Perfect here."

He cocked his head in question and swallowed as he opened his mouth to ask and Bonnie shook her head, "Nevermind. I'll tell you later when I feel less like dying."

"Fair enough." He gave her an assessing once over. "You look a lot less green and puke-y but you need to eat something to settle your stomach. Got a headache?" He passed her the sleeve of crackers. Bonnie shot him a dubious look but hesitantly pulled a couple of crackers from the pack. She eyed them a moment before gingerly putting one to her mouth and taking a bite. She chewed slowly, expecting to feel sick immediately but to her surprise the saltiness of the cracker seemed to help her stomach settle. She sipped the Gatorade and fell into a rhythm of nibble and sip for a few moments as she began to feel more like herself and less like a something half dead.

"Earth to Bonnie."

Bonnie came out of her zoneout to see Kai looking at her, a half smile quirking one corner of his mouth.

"What?"

"I asked how the head was doing?"

"Oh, uh, n-not too bad. I mean, it hurts but I've had worse." Bonnie felt like an idiot as she stumbled over her words.

Kai just nodded and looked away, seemingly content to just sit in the bathroom floor and stare at nothing. Bonnie continued eating the crackers and sipping at the Gatorade, unsure how to approach this, almost nice, version of Kai.

She looked down and started picking at the plastic wrap around the Gatorade.

"So, uh, thanks, you know, for uh, this," she gestured toward the crackers and drink in her hand.

Kai looked over with an indecipherable look.

"Yeah, don't mention it. Been there myself enough times." He turned back to his contemplation of the tilework.

"Really?"

"Yep," Kai popped the 'p' sound hard, "Spent several years worth of prison world time testing my limits with pretty much every alcohol known to man. Never could understand why the vampire stuck to bourbon. There are like, SO many better liquors out there to chose from!"

Bonnie saved that info back in her mind for contemplation for 'times when she didn't feel like dying…again'.

They sat there for who knew how long before Bonnie, feeling marginally better and less like she had been turned inside out and shook, let out a jaw-cracking yawn.

Kai huffed a laugh. "Tired?"

Bonnie grinned half-heartedly, "Utterly. Think I may crawl my way back to the bed. You?"

Kai shook his head, "Nah, I don't really sleep that much. Think I've had about all I want. May go explore a bit although I'm kinda hungry too.." he trailed off, a contemplative look on his face.

Bonnie made her unsteady way to her feet, "You enjoy yourself with that." She said before beelining her way toward the bed. She crawled onto its soft surface and nearly cried at the sensation of cool sheets and softness that enveloped her. Without another thought, she gave herself up to sleep, uncaring of the man who watched her pensively, and thoughtfully, from the bathroom floor.