As always thank you so much for the reviews and the new followers! I tried to get this one up as quickly as possible! Enjoy :)
It was thanks to Tate getting out of his comfort zone and taking the time to sit down and talk to Maya the night before that she was able to get out of her head and feel more herself when she woke up that morning. Part of her still wanted to go back home and maybe she would, but she decided that she should at least take the next few days to figure things out. Maya needed to let herself move past what happened. Logan wouldn't have that power over her, she wouldn't allow it.
Pulling herself up out of bed, Maya felt so much tension pent up in her body, she had hardly left her bed the last few days and it showed. Stretching her arms up over her head and slightly arching her back, she realized that she needed to get up and use her body today. That feeling of a stiff body was one that she couldn't stand. Tate mentioned yesterday that she should get outside for a change of scenery and that was exactly what she decided she was going to do. At this point, she was beginning to forget what the feeling of fresh air in her lungs felt like and absolutely hated that. Maya stopped to look at herself in the mirror, her hair was a thick tangled mess pulled into a bun, her cheeks almost looked sunken from a lack of keeping herself appropriately fed and hydrated the last few days. Even still, she really didn't feel like she wanted to eat.
The trail near their home popped into Maya's mind and she decided that was the perfect place to center her thoughts and take the time to think about where she wanted her life to go from here. If she should really stay or not. Quickly she grabbed a pair of nearby grey biker shorts to wear and pulled a black spaghetti strap tank over her sports bra that she knew she really needed to change at this point. For a split second, she thought about showering considering she hadn't been keeping up that well with her hygiene ever since locking herself inside, but Maya knew the chances of seeing someone on that trail, especially someone she knew, was quite slim. As Maya made her way to the front door she couldn't help feeling a little anxious to leave her home, but she could feel that fresh air calling out to her.
"Maya?" Tate called out, running down the hall toward her, something that almost made her laugh. If she didn't know any better she would have thought that he was scared she was leaving right this moment but more than anything he was just surprised to see her leave the room out of her own free will. "Are you okay?"
"I'm just going to go for a walk on the trail." She smiled at him, hoping he would be proud, but the look of disapproval on his face showed where his thoughts really were.
"I don't know. Maybe I should go with you." If she really took the time to think about it, it was no surprise that Tate wanted to tag along. Even Maya had that slight twinge of fear that somehow she might end up bumping into Logan. It was paranoia, they both faced it now. She knew it would pass with time and she knew that she couldn't live under the rock which was Tate sheltering her.
"I just want to take some time alone outside where I can breathe and think clearly." Maybe it was silly for her to feel uncomfortable around Tate while she took the time to go through everything that ran through her mind as if he could somehow read her mind and make her feel utterly vulnerable, but something so strong inside of her told her to get out on that trail now. Alone. She didn't want to fight that feeling, whatever it may bring, it felt right to follow it.
"Fine," Tate grumbled, like the man child he was. Overly cautious now of everything his sister did and displeased when she didn't agree with what he wanted. "Please be careful. Bring your phone."
"I have it." She held her phone up, giving it a little wiggle and leaving Tate with a grin to reassure him.
As soon as Maya left the house and felt the moist air hit her lungs, her eyes automatically closed in satisfaction. It almost felt like it had been months or years since she had been outside with how good it felt to breathe all that in. Maya could just barely remember the way the air back home smelled and felt in her lungs, but she knew for sure it wasn't anything like this. The greenery and lack of pollution in La Push made a huge difference. It felt like chugging back cool water after being restricted from drinking anything for days. Her shoulders dropped and she let her face fully relax for what felt like the first time in a long time. This is exactly what she needed.
After standing at her front door, enjoying the outside air for longer than was necessary, Maya made her way to the trail, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths periodically. The thick of the trees towered over her, she looked up to where the sun broke through. Nature was never something she noticed or appreciated as often as she should have back home. But when she started to compare La Push to San Francisco more thoughts began to flood her mind.
Maya never was the most popular, just a few close friends. That never bothered her, she wasn't interested in being included in the big popular groups anyway. Years down the line, her closest friends moved away for school, relationships, or work. That's always inevitable when you become an adult so she didn't blame them one bit. They all slowly started to become too distanced from Maya, and maybe that was her own fault more than anything considering she began to dwell and constantly think about her mom and how much she dreaded being around the people that cared for her mom. Friends would message here and there, nothing special. Maya just never had much to say back.
Then there was her dad who had been dating someone for almost 6 months by the time Maya left, She did like her dad's girlfriend, there was nothing wrong with her at all, but Maya couldn't help but begin to resent her dad for moving on. He started to give his girlfriend way more attention, so overall it was hard for Maya to accept that she wasn't his only priority anymore. That it couldn't just be the two of them holding on to mom anymore. Her dad didn't even mean to make Maya feel that way, he had just finally found love again, it was natural for him to progress that way. Deep down Maya was so happy for him to indulge and commit to a love like that for the first time in a long time. But sadly, every negative thought that haunted her always fought the happiness she felt for her dad. Maya acknowledged that she was an adult and knew her dad didn't need to baby her anymore. He could let go and enjoy his newfound love. That's when Tate's idea for her to live in La Push really sparked her interest, as soon as she didn't feel truly tied to anyone anymore.
When Maya stopped to think about the last few weeks living here in La Push, it wasn't like there was some sort of plethora of people and moments that she could think about fondly. There was Embry, who was so willing to be her friend right away. She chuckled thinking of all the laughs with Tate, she had missed him so much. There was Jacob, who just the thought of brought up a whirlwind of dreadful memories. That night everything went downhill so quickly. For whatever ridiculous reason she thought it was okay to use someone who she somehow thought she knew well enough, to make someone jealous. Someone who was not interested in her at all. Someone who had made that very clear and who had someone they cared about. Maya felt so embarrassed, she was like some sort of homewrecker who in the end was taken advantage of. She had to quit her job, afraid of seeing Logan ever again. That in itself felt like such a huge setback. Then there was her head that stayed in such a dark place as of late. Maya was always trying so desperately to avoid the thought of what Logan tried to do, but it was hard to get the image and the feeling of his hands on her body out of her mind.
By that time Maya had already gone too far into the memory and tears started to burn in her eyes. Being this upset was something she had thought she was over when she woke up in a better mood this morning but clearly it would be a longer process than she had hoped for. Truth be told, in her emotional state, she couldn't tell if she was more upset with herself for stupidly inviting Logan along or if she was just angry that there was someone like Logan alive in this world.
Maya let all her weight lean on a nearby tree, trying as best she could Maya tried to stifle her sobs and compose herself. Even with no one around it was so embarrassing to let herself cry out in the open like this. But what Maya didn't know was that she wasn't alone and when she heard someone gently call out to her she practically jumped out of her skin.
Jacob ran through the thick of woods in his wolf form, the last few days he was submitting to the animal several times a day, he didn't fight it anymore. If he couldn't see Maya he would rather just run. Which is exactly what he did, until his muscles would ache more than he could stand and he didn't know if he could run anymore. Constantly circling the woods near Maya's home. Jacob tried to hide his thoughts from the pack, keeping them under the impression that he was just patrolling more often. It wasn't that they didn't already all know he had imprinted at this point, Jacob was just still completely scared out of his mind. Scared that Maya would reject him, scared that Tate would stop him from even trying, scared of the idea of Maya leaving La Push. He would much rather have the pack members live in the dark, the same way he was currently living in the dark. The idea of being pitied or constantly encouraged when it may not happen was the last thing he wanted. So he led them all to believe that he was happy as long as Maya was safe, that he didn't need anything more than that, even though he craved and wished for everything he could ever receive from Maya. Which is exactly why Jacob would spend any free time he had running if it meant that at least he could make sure Maya was home and safe.
Jacob could hear a pin drop with his heightened senses as a wolf, he essentially hadn't heard anything besides the sounds of nature on his recent runs around Maya's home. So naturally, when the sound of footsteps echoed in the wolf's ears, curiosity took over. Not hesitating for a moment, he followed the sound, lightening the pressure of his paws on the ground. He slowed his pace, making his way closer to the steps that sounded on the nearby trail. Out of nowhere, this overwhelmingly intoxicating scent shocked his senses, like candied pecans with a kick of cinnamon, growing stronger as he gained in on the trail. Jacob did his best to focus and forget the smell that was so sinfully delicious, it was hard to ignore. Jacob tried desperately to hide his monstrous size behind all the greenery. Through the small gaps in the bushes and trees, he tried to gain sight of who walked the trail, but when he felt that familiar pull he felt butterflies flood his stomach he knew. It had to be her.
And even though Jacob very clearly suspected it, when he saw Maya it felt like time froze. Truly all he had been craving since the night he imprinted was to see her again, staying away was painful, practically unbearable. The only thing that made it possible to accept that keeping his distance was for the best was that he felt Maya wanted to be alone, especially after talking with Tate. Jacob couldn't help but accept those wishes.
But now that Maya had made her way back out into the real world and was so physically close, he wondered if it was time to make an appearance. He watched her making her way down the trail, only able to see her from behind, Jacob wished so desperately to see that beautiful face. He needed a new image in his mind, not the one he last remembered. The last time he had seen her face was during the incident with Logan. He felt his ears go hot with anger, a common reaction whenever he thought back to that night. Imprinting was such a pivotal moment in his life, tainted by that piece of shit, Logan. Jacob still had no idea if Maya was scared of him or how she felt about that night. What could have been magical, Jacob assumed was a horrendous memory for Maya. One that he contributed to. Jacob tried to shake the anger off, his thoughts moving so fast he couldn't even decide what to do next, the self-doubt had already seeped into his veins, taking over entirely. Remembering Emily and Sam told him to try, but there was also the part of him that feared rejection and he was also well aware of all the times that he was less than kind to Maya. Then there was Tate, who would probably never allow it and maybe Tate really did know what was best for Maya.
That didn't stop Jacob from phasing back into a human. He could just talk to her, a friendly hello like friends, there was nothing wrong with that he told himself. Feeling more than grateful that he had at least brought shorts, Jacob pulled the tightly wound piece of clothing from the wire anklet he wore. He threw them on and quickly brushed any noticeable dirt off of himself, he looked down at his feet and groaned, unsure of how to explain no shoes if she asked. Then came the self-doubt again as he started to second guess going over there again. Jacob looked back up toward Maya, who now leaned up against a tree. This overwhelmingly intense longing to reunite with Maya overcame Jacob and he knew from this point on it wasn't in him to stay away from her anymore, not when the opportunity was right there knocking. So with a stomach full of knots, Jacob made his way over to his imprint.
"Maya?" He said in the softest tone he could, hoping not to scare her. She jumped anyway and Jacob mentally scolded himself.
"Shit!" Maya turned too quickly, eyes widening as soon as she found Jacob in front of her. "Jacob, you scared the crap out of me." Quickly rubbing at her eyes, Maya tried to hide the tears that had been falling just seconds before he showed up. God, what fucking luck that someone she knew would find her in this state when she could've sworn she wouldn't see a single person out here.
"I'm sorry! I was just nearby and I saw you-"
"Nearby?" Maya cut him off, looking down at his feet with a suspicious look on her face. Jacob searched for words to explain himself with a flushed face and he realized he had been looking down the entire time. Jacob truly had never been shy like this around Maya or anyone, for that matter. Imprinting had made him a different person entirely and even though the idea of making eye contact made the butterflies in his stomach flutter so strongly that he almost felt nauseous, Jacob forced himself to look at Maya. For the first time in a few days, he finally was able to see the face that he couldn't get out of his head.
No memory could compare to seeing Maya in person now. He was transported back to when he knew he imprinted on her, when everything around them started to fade, and he truly saw Maya for the first time. There was so much about her that he was too blind to see before he had imprinted, but right in this very moment he could see every perfect detail. Standing in front of her again was euphoric, so close to her now he realized that intoxicatingly wonderful smell was Maya. His head span with pleasure and he fought his primal instincts as he wondered if she tasted just as delicious as she smelled. Now staring into those perfect green eyes, the ones that haunted his dreams night after night. He felt his chest tighten and his heart began to beat so hard he wondered if she could hear it. Maya was the most perfectly beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. If only he could just freeze this moment in time and stay here with her forever.
But after realizing how long Jacob was staring, Maya couldn't help but nervously look down, inconspicuously trying to cover her face out of embarrassment. She was almost certain that he was wondering why she looked so dreadful and she didn't blame him at all. What a stupid idea to not shower. Ultimately she couldn't help but feel that his silence was utterly deafening. She stood here feeling more insecure than she ever had. Jacob knew exactly what happened with Logan, he changed everything for the better in fact. She should be all but falling at his feet and thanking him, but something about acknowledging what happened out loud was so damn frightening for Maya.
She forced a smile through the whirlwind of emotions that suddenly fought with her. "It was good to see you Jacob, but I need to head back." Maya turned back quickly before he could read anything on her face.
Maya's words forced Jacob out of his trance. "No!" Without thinking Jacob grabbed Maya's hand, gently pulling her back toward him. An overwhelming jolt went through where their hands touched, Jacob's heat was so intense, and once again she was reminded of the heat she felt when she first shook his hand. Goosebumps ran up her body, she couldn't understand why from day one Jacob's touch affected her so much. Quickly pulling her hand away, Maya was too afraid to hold on any longer.
"I'm sorry," Jacob quickly apologized, realizing how vulnerable she must feel being touched right now. "I came by the other day. To see how you were doing."
Maya felt instant guilt knowing that Tate would've said she didn't want to see anyone, which was entirely true. But she felt even more guilty when she realized that it wasn't until bumping into today that she stopped to think about the fact that Jacob had stopped Logan. If Jacob hadn't been there at the right time, Maya had no idea what would've happened. Jacob made it so that she didn't have to know and even still she couldn't bring herself to talk about it with him. Maybe it was because she didn't know how he felt about all of it or she was worried that somehow he might have gained some trauma from the situation as well. The unknown was just too frightening for Maya to face.
Reading the uncertainty on her face easily, Jacob hated that she had to go through any of this. He still wished to this day that he could go back in time and stop Logan from having anything to do with Maya the first time that they had ever spoken at the diner. But Jacob couldn't turn back time, all he could do was try and make everything better from this moment forward.
What Jacob didn't realize about imprinting was how difficult it would be to control his urges and instincts. As soon as he spotted the darkened bruised skin on Maya's arms he grabbed her arms immediately with a look of anger and worry plastered onto his face. "Maya, I'm so fucking sorry I didn't stop him sooner." His voice cracked with emotion, leaving Maya to feel overcome with emotion as well. She had been trying her best to avoid looking at her arms and when Jacob brought it up she couldn't avoid the tears she was constantly trying to hold back. Having marks left by Logan on any part of her body was completely demeaning and she couldn't wait for them to fade away so that hopefully the memory would fade too.
Jacob let go yet again, hating himself for bringing the memory back. "Please, don't cry." He begged. This feeling was absolutely gut-wrenching, this helpless girl in front of him that he was just dying to embrace, but just his touch alone was triggering for her. What he wouldn't give to take it all away, to make it so she never had to cry again.
"Jacob, I don't even know how to begin to thank you for what you did for me." Inhaling deeply and pushing her emotions away, Maya looked up at Jacob's intense eyes that she thought about far more than she would like to admit. Even now she hated him for being so damn perfect, enticing her from the beginning and proving continuously how much of a perfect person he is.
Her eyes locked on him was enough to knock the wind out of Jacob, if only she could just read his mind and know how he felt about her because saying it out loud was the most fucking scary thing Jacob felt he could ever do. "You don't ever need to thank me, Maya."
If only Maya knew just how much of a pleasure and honor it was for Jacob to protect her in any way he could. He wasn't looking for recognition or any sort of thanks. It was almost as if at that moment a huge weight came off Jacob's shoulders when he did take in the fact that Maya was thanking him. One of Jacob's fears was that Maya might be terrified of him after that night but the fact that he couldn't sense even an ounce of fear from Maya was such a relief. She was a literal angel, Jacob decided, seeing beyond any of his flaws. Perhaps it wasn't anything more than as an acquaintance or friend, he sincerely hoped for more than that, but regardless of what they were to each other, this was the person his life was now centered on and she saw far beyond what Jacob had done to Logan.
"I absolutely need to thank you, I wish I could repay you." Though Maya wasn't sure there was anything she could possibly do to truly show her gratitude.
"All I need is for you to be safe. That's all I need, Maya." The way Jacob spoke to her gave her such a thrill, that rush of infatuation that she had felt the first time she saw him. How did someone so stunningly perfect exist? And how the hell was she worthy of any sort of attention from him? Maya suddenly zoned out when she became distracted by Jacob's very presence in front of her. Letting her eyes trail his strong neck, to his broad chest then to his chiseled stomach. Jacob's russet skin looked so soft, even though his body was so hard and defined. Maya's body tingled as she looked at him shamelessly. Fantasizing things that she probably shouldn't.
One thought abruptly stopped everything that danced around her head. Something that shouldn't be put aside or forgotten. Bella. Someone Maya often had to remind herself of when she had been around Jacob. What if things were going well between Jacob and Bella since her interactions with Jacob as of late were friendly. Jacob had always been so short and distracted whenever he had been around Maya before, the culprit was always Bella. God, she was starting to feel like a homewrecker again.
The rumbling of thunder sounded in the distance brought Maya back to reality and the clouds quickly darkened in preparation for a storm. "This place can be so dreary sometimes, huh?" Maya changed the subject they had previously been on and tried to act as if she shouldn't immediately distance herself from Jacob-Bella-loving-Black.
Jacob felt his stomach drop slightly, Maya could be such an open book in one moment and entirely impossible to read the next. Regardless, he wished that he could've had more time to explain how he felt, but maybe it was just too soon. He had imprinted and knew what he wanted and needed, but Maya was only human. A human who hardly knew Jacob, it was only natural that she needed more time. Jacob just desperately hoped that in that time somehow things would work out. "It's not all that bad." He chuckled, following her lead in dropping the last conversation.
"I'm gonna head back now. But maybe I'll see you around soon?" Maya didn't want to mean it, but she did, deep down she craved seeing Jacob again.
"I absolutely hope so." Maya hated him for it, the little fucking flirt, he brought the biggest grin to her face.
There it was, the smile that had Jacob had been waiting for. He did everything in his power to engrain it into his mind until the next time they could be reunited. Her smile was everything to him, her happiness was essential. It was a complete and utter thrill to be the person that brought that smile to Maya's face.
She left him with a wave and a little smirk before turning to head back up the trail to her place. As soon as he couldn't see her face anymore she bit her lip, trying to fight the smile that was dying to come out. Maya wondered where the shirtless, shoeless wonder would be off to next. Such an oddly enticing man. A light washing of rain began to fall from the sky, Maya wrapped her arms around herself and broke out into a jog.
"Hey!" Tate called out, jogging up to his sister. "I know I'm the annoying brother, but I didn't want you to be stuck out in the rain." He draped his sweater over her bare arms and she chuckled
She picked up her pace to keep up with her brother. "You know, I bumped into Jacob on the trail." This did not please Tate, not in the slightest, but he held in any reaction his face might show and allowed Maya to continue. "I don't want to think about what might have happened if he wasn't there that night. He was somehow there right when I needed him."
Tate realized at that moment that he wasn't as grateful to Jacob as he should be. Tate wanted to be the one to help, but he wasn't. Instead, he should have been thanking the man who was there. And maybe he wasn't fully ready to dive into the events of that night or what happened before he and Embry had arrived, but he knew that Jacob was there and he trusted that Jacob did what was best for the situation. "Jake's a good guy."
Maya looked over at her brother with surprised eyes, never expecting him to say something like that about Jacob. He always quick to say something at Jacob's expense. As they jogged up to their front door, Maya took one last look toward the trail, overcome with an overwhelming sense of peace. She wanted to begin again, but she wanted it to be right here. Maya decided she was going to stay in La Push.
Not sure how many of you caught on in earlier chapters that Maya never found out that Jacob ended things with Bella, but surprise! I can't help but continue to stir the pot haha. As always please review, I always love your input and reading what you think about the chapters!