Thank you so much for all of the support last chapter, as well as being so patient as I worked to get this one written! School and work have just been insane, so I sincerely appreciate it!
Bechloe-bible-49 - I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story! I'd be lying if I were to say there weren't going to be more difficult chapters up ahead (sorry for making you cry every chapter though!). Thank you so much for your review and kind words! :)
Guest - Thank you so much for your kind words! Macy will be back in a couple of chapters, and Lucas will be back in a few more! They're such an interesting dynamic to write because I've now written Macy as a more of a kid, then a teenager, and now a full grown adult, so it's definitely different. No comment on your prediction about Quinn and Chloe hahaha I think you'll know why at the end of the chapter ;) And yes! Your analysis of the kids and how they see Beca and Chloe is spot on; that will also be developed as the story continues. I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story so far! Thanks so much for your review!
Wolvezzz - Quinn most certainly has a lot going on, it's all just a question of how she handles it... and what happens in the process of her figuring that out. Yup! The truth is out about Beca and Macy, and Macy will be back in a few chapters. Thanks so much for your kind words and your review, as always! :)
NJCE - Oh my goodness, hello! It's always so exciting when someone new pops up after following from the beginning. I'm so glad you're still sticking with me :) Hahaha yes I love writing the younger kids and exploring each one of their individual personalities. To answer your question about Quinn and Izzy, no, I don't think there's going to something more between Quinn and Izzy. I feel like there's definitely a much better best friend/sister dynamic between the two of them, and I have a whole bunch of things planned for them in future chapters that would definitely change if they were together. Thank you so much for your review and kind words!
Somethingthatismine - Thank you so much for your kind words :') I think your analysis of everything that you mentioned is spot on, and the things that you touched upon are talked about a little more in depth in this chapter from Quinn's perspective. Quinn has a lot of stuff going on and a lot of stuff to work through, and same with Jordan and Ava. Without a doubt, they all handle it differently. Thank you so much for your review and your continued support!
Hetwaszoietsals (Ch. 7 and Ch.8) - Lots and lots of changes for sure! Everyone's adjusting differently and I can't wait for you to read how it all unfolds (and unfortunately, you might be right about Quinn going down the wrong path). I'm just going to copy and paste from NJCE's question above, but to answer your question about Quinn and Izzy, no, I don't think there's going to something more between Quinn and Izzy. I feel like there's definitely a much better best friend/sister dynamic between the two of them, and I have a whole bunch of things planned for them in future chapters that would definitely change if they were together. There's some fluff at the beginning of this chapter! Thank you so much for your kind words and you review as always! :)
Chapter 9
By the middle of Ava, Jordan, and Quinn's second full week living at the Mitchell house, the family of six has fallen into a routine that somehow manages to get them all where they need to be on time. Beca still brings the younger kids to the elementary school and Chloe still brings Quinn, but there is definitely a teamwork oriented approach to helping everyone get ready both in the morning and after the dismissal bell rings.
Which is why, early on Wednesday morning with the normal buzz of a school day rattling inside the house, Beca and Chloe once again find themselves maneuvering around each other in the kitchen, trying to get both the kids' lunches ready, as well as breakfast for Ava and Rosie, who tend to wake up earlier than their older siblings. Completely absorbed with the two dolls that they're playing with at the counter, Ava and Rosie don't even pay attention to the two older women making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (just a jelly sandwich for Jordan) and packing the lunch bags, or how they're wrestling with the pancakes on the griddle, hoping to make enough on the first go to feed all six members of the family.
Nothing too exciting has happened since Macy's birthday on Sunday; in fact, it's been a pretty boring couple of days. During the day, it's been a mixture of school and work, and following that, it's been homework, dinner, and bedtime stories for the younger kids. Ava and Jordan are visibly becoming more and more comfortable around Rosie and her moms. They've joined in on a few stories, have given hugs when asked, and there seems to be a lightness about them that hasn't been there before. While Ava, more so than Jordan, still tends to gravitate toward Quinn, especially after a long day or very early in the morning, she doesn't shy away from Chloe or Beca, and she certainly isn't secluding herself off from the rest of the family like her older sister.
Quinn, on the other hand, has kept her walls miles high. Despite saying that she was fine following Macy's cookout, Quinn has seemed to retreat further into herself, unlike her siblings. Beca, who has her own experience with shutting people out, can't help but feel confused as to why that is the case. She never really looks the moms in the eye; she doesn't really engage with the family when they're all together. Her answers to anyone's questions are short, and she has yet to actually initiate a conversation with anyone other than her siblings or, on the very rare occasion, Rosie. It's strange, watching the teen get further and further away, when neither Chloe nor Beca can exactly pinpoint the reason as to why that may be happening.
Beca assembles the four different sandwiches, sliding each one into an individual container so that they don't get smushed during the next few hours before lunch. "You're picking the younger kids up again today, right, Chlo?"
Chloe nods, continuing to mix the dry ingredients of the batter into the wet ones, a small dot of flour on her cheek. "Yup. And you'll be home around six?"
"Mhmm. I have a meeting with the board and a few other music execs and those typically run late."
"Try not to show them how much you dislike those meetings." She pecks Beca's cheek quickly as the brunette rolls her eyes with a smirk and a sarcastic "ha-ha", before turning on her heel to address the two five-year-olds with the question of pancake fillings. They've gotten to a place where Ava can point to communicate what she wants if she's without Jordan or Quinn, which is something neither Beca nor Chloe knew when would happen. "Alright, girlies: chocolate chips or blueberries today?"
Both girls keep their eyes intently on the silent game they're playing with their dolls – no words being exchanged the two of them. Rosie focuses on walking her doll over to Ava's but answers all the same. "Chocolate chips please, Mommy."
Chloe gives her a definitive nod and takes another step forward to hold the bowls over to Ava, but stops short as Ava opens her mouth.
"Blueberries, please."
Chloe's jaw drops slightly before her mouth stretches into a beaming grin, simply staring at the brunette who still hasn't looked up at her foster mom. Rosie doesn't seem fazed either, but Beca freezes what she's doing, turning around slowly, her own growing smirk on her face.
At her mothers' silence, both women too stunned to either answer or jump up and down with joy, Rosie crinkles her eyebrows and glances up at them. "Why are you being weird?"
Chloe forces out a chuckle, trying to bring some nonchalance back to the situation. "Sorry, love, I just… I thought Ava would want chocolate chips, that's all."
Rosie looks at Chloe like she has five heads. "Ava doesn't like chocolate in the morning."
Chloe holds up her hands in surrender. "My apologies, Ava."
Ava smirks, meeting Chloe's eyes for the first time since speaking. "It's okay."
Chloe's heart almost bursts with emotion, the woman suddenly becoming overwhelmed with the extreme urge to want to ask her a trillion questions just so that she can hear Ava's voice again. It's soft, quiet and almost hesitant, but it perfectly matches her personality. Chloe has imagined this moment countless of times, and while she would love to say that it is exactly how she imagined it would feel – she knows it wouldn't do it justice. Because hearing the young girl's voice, knowing that she's comfortable enough around Chloe and Beca and Rosie, comfortable enough in their house – their home – it's a feeling that she can't even describe. Like all of her most memorable days wrapped up in one, bursting through a mundane Wednesday morning.
Beca must be thinking the same thing, because she comes up beside Chloe, her eyes never leaving Ava. "Do you want goldfish or a cheese stick for your snack today, Ava?"
"Goldfish, please. Like Rosie." Ava must know what she's doing, because when she flicks her eyes over to Beca, the older woman's heart starts to melt. Who knew that just two simple words, spoken only after weeks of silence, could fill a room with so much joy. So much relief. It may seem like not very much has happened over the last few days, but unbeknownst to Beca and Chloe, clearly there has been a whirlwind of activity going on in Ava's head.
Beca gives her a definitive nod, turning to return to the lunches, only after squeezing Chloe's hand lightly. "Goldfish it is."
Quinn hasn't been able to sit still all morning long. Her nerves are coursing through her body like electricity, her brain jumping from one thought to the next, all the while trying to show anyone that looks at her, that she's perfectly fine. Even if that assumption couldn't be further from the truth.
She has been planning her little adventure to Izzy's house for the last few days, working out the bus route and the timing during her lunch break and her study hall, which proves to be much more difficult when you have to close out of the tab every time a teacher or librarian walks past the computer, for fear of the adult reporting back to Chloe. It's been two straight days of worrying; worrying about how she's going to get there, worrying about how she's going to get back (and get back without Chloe, Beca, or the kids finding out where she went). But most of all, Quinn has been worrying about Izzy and how she's actually holding up. She knows that she messed up, not being able to call or visit very much over the last couple of months. She's not sure if she wants to know how far down she's spiraled.
Yet that's not an option. Izzy is her best friend; the one person, who, more than anyone else, knows what she goes through. She's her number one support system, and Quinn, Izzy's. It doesn't matter if Quinn is worried about being caught or worried about what she's going to see – they're there for each other no matter what. Always have been, always will be. That's what family does.
Which is why, as she sneaks out of one of the side doors of Donahue High School with only a fleeting glance behind her, she doesn't feel a single ounce of regret. She pushes away the racing of her heart as she walks down the school's driveway, clutching the straps of her bag, and tries to ignore the nagging suspicion that Chloe is going to come running after her.
Miraculously, she makes it off the school property without a problem, and by the time she gets to the bus stop two blocks away, it is only five minutes away from the time of the bus's arrival, the one-thirty-eight just like Izzy told her on Sunday. The other teen has spent her entire life running around the city, so Quinn has absolutely no hesitation climbing on to the bus with only a few directional points from Izzy, and letting the bus take her away towards her destination.
Settling into the bus seat with a sigh, Quinn turns her focus to the passing streets outside of her window. The hum of the vehicle, combined with the sound of the wheels clattering against the manholes, starts to bring her a sense of calm. Her mind hasn't had a semblance of peace in weeks, watching her siblings become comfortable in a house that she can't help but be wary of.
Chloe, Beca, and their entire family, are overwhelming. More so than any family Quinn has ever lived with before. There are the constant check-ins, and the conversations, and the attempts at physical contact, and the pity-filled looks. It's a lot. A lot of things that Quinn does not need, nor does she want. She has taken care of herself since she was old enough to do so. She doesn't need to be tucked in, she doesn't need to give two women, two complete strangers, updates on her school day or her homework or anything else that is going on in her life. It's none of their business, and quite frankly, it's suffocating. Hence, her intense desire to stay in her bedroom all the time and only interact with her siblings, who she knows are getting more and more comfortable by the day.
Jordan and Ava are young. A lot younger than her; a lot more naïve. They don't necessarily remember everything that happened before foster care, and Jordan's memory is much more full of memories of foster care, but that doesn't mean that they don't crave the love and stability of an actual family. Jordan especially. They want that normality. It's something that Quinn can't give them, not matter how hard she tries. But she'll be there to pick up the pieces when it all comes crashing down around them, just like she always does.
Because that's just how it is.
Yet, something about the Mitchells makes her ten times more nervous than any other foster family. Even the ones where she couldn't leave her bedroom, or where they screamed and yelled the entire time. Jordan is falling for them fast; they've gotten Ava to talk, and the two five-year-olds are quickly becoming inseparable. The worst part is that it's only been two and a half weeks. Who knows what's going to happen when they hit the one-month or two-month mark. However long they're going to be at this house is unknown, but Quinn knows her siblings well enough to know that at this rate, leaving after any point could very well break them.
And there's nothing Quinn can do about it. She's helpless; she's just watching it happen. While she wants her siblings to be as safe and comfortable as possible – it's what she's spent her whole life striving for – there comes a point where she doesn't know if allowing them to get this close to Beca and Chloe is beneficial.
Actually, she knows it's not going to be beneficial. But she also can't risk getting them kicked out of the house just for that. That wouldn't be good for anyone. Rachel has made that perfectly clear. She already loses Jordan the majority of times they have to move; she's not going to risk losing Ava, too.
Quinn runs a tired hand over her face as they get deeper into the city; closer to the house where she spent her entire childhood before it, quite literally, burned to the ground. It's not like the street that her old house and Izzy's house are on, is in a nice area. It's not like it's something amazing. But there's something about returning to Pollard Street, that brings her a sense of peace and calm. There's a familiarity about it, a constant that she misses and that she has lacked for the past three years. Sure, the majority of the memories from this street aren't great. Sure, she'd much rather forget them than have to relive them night after night and day after day, but still. The place where her house once stood, across the street from where her best friend still lives…it still presents that feeling of home. That feeling of having control of her own life before DCF came in and decided to ruin everything.
That's perhaps what she misses most. The freedom. The ability to take care of her siblings the way she knows is right. The way she didn't have to answer to anyone. Her mother didn't care what she did; she didn't have to answer to anyone. She kept her siblings safe, she kept Izzy safe, and she kept herself safe. She didn't need to follow anyone's rules or worry about pleasing a foster parent or reminding herself to constantly walk on eggshells for fear of doing even the slightest thing wrong. It was so much easier, and while she wouldn't necessarily say she wants to go back to that time, back to when Amanda was alive and bringing man after man into the house and smoking and snorting whatever she could get her hands on (and selling it to everyone who came to their front door), she wishes that it could go back to just being her and the kids. Just her, Izzy, Jordan, and Ava, living their lives the way they want to.
Quinn has no idea how she would do it. But it's always in the back of her mind. Sometimes, she'll find herself daydreaming about running away from foster care and living in an apartment with the kids and Izzy, far away from Atlanta, far away from everything that's happened. Then she remembers that she doesn't have a job; that she doesn't have a way out. That it would take a lot for Izzy to leave her mother, and that they'd have to hide from DCF and all of those agencies whose mission is to make her life a living hell. She thinks about how Jordan would probably put up a fight; he'd listen eventually, but he wouldn't be happy about it. He's always been one to want to follow the rules, and constantly brings up how he wants a family with a dog and a swing set in the backyard. Ava wouldn't question it (at least not at first), but even so, who knows what moving and living a rather precarious and uncertain life on their own, would do to her.
So, Quinn will keep doing what she's doing. She's going to keep living her life. She's going to keep taking care of her family – not just Jordan and Ava, but Izzy too. If people have a problem with that, that's an issue that they have to take care of themselves. It's always just been her against these problems. The various foster parents that have come in and out of her life and continue to come in and out of her life, are just that: temporary. They don't care about her. They don't care about what trouble she gets herself into or what problems she's facing in her own mind or in her life, or anything that happened before she got to their house. They don't care about what happens to her after she packs her bags, so why should she care about what they think about her before then?
She shouldn't, and she refuses to even entertain the idea. Which is why she is completely fine with getting off of the bus and walking with her head held high back into her own world. Not the trillions of different worlds that people are so desperately trying to force her into.
Quinn turns the corner from the bus stop, walking the familiar sidewalks and sidestepping the occasional piece of trash that litters the cement. She ignores the cars passing by her, ignores the few people that are outside in the humid afternoon heat. She simply continues her short walk to Pollard Street, taking note of the For Sale signs on some of her old neighbors' untrimmed yard, and the various damages and changes that have popped up since the last time she was here.
As she approaches the end of her street, though, her gaze falls to the sidewalk in front of her, only after her eyes briefly flick to the charred remains of the house that is across the street from Izzy's white one. The city didn't think it would be worth it to rebuild, let alone clean up. So, since the fire, the frame of the house has stood at the end of the street, mocking Quinn every time she looks at it, and sending phantom pains up her back with memories from that fateful night.
Instead of focusing on it, she acknowledges its existence, and turns instead to walk across Izzy's front yard past where the tattered tire swing that they assembled when they were ten, still hangs from the large oak tree, while being eternally grateful for the lack of car out front and the silence that seems to be emanating from the house. Quinn follows the same process that she has since she was seven: she gets the spare key from under the loose brick on the step, quietly unlocks the door, listens, and moves inside with the key in her pocket.
Just like Quinn was expecting it to, the floorboard directly behind the front door protests loudly as she steps over the threshold, sending a resounding screech through the house. The teen freezes, not moving a muscle until she can confirm that there isn't anyone on the lower level, despite what the trash and scattered bottles would suggest.
Once the silence continues, Quinn moves through the house like it's her own. She crosses through the kitchen, taking note of the dirty dishes in the sink and the cabinet that has been left open, the shelves empty, and quickly climbs the back staircase towards Izzy's attic bedroom. Even when she gets to her door, there is no indication – sound or something else – that would tell Quinn that someone is home. She taps lightly on the door, her heart pounding loudly in her ears, and when she still doesn't get a response, Quinn opens it anyways.
Izzy's bedroom hasn't changed much over the years. The rug that they spilt purple nail polish on when they were nine, is still in the center of the floor; the black-out curtains that were left behind by the previous family that lived in the house, still block out any light from coming into the room. There isn't a bookshelf or any sort of additional furniture besides her bedside table, a small lamp, and her bedframe and mattress. The dark blue comforter that they found at a Goodwill still covers her bed, and currently that's where Quinn finds her blonde-haired best friend, curled up on her side with her hands tucked into her chest, just as she always sleeps, with soft snores emerging from her slightly parted lips.
Quinn's face softens, immediately seeing the exhaustion in Izzy's sleeping features. The way her body is so slumped, even in the middle of the day, and how she hasn't even flinched when someone has very clearly been walking through her house. It's almost enough to make Quinn turn around and leave without a word; to let her keep sleeping. But then an overwhelming urge of excitement washes over her, at the sight of the girl she hasn't seen in months. That, combined with the fact that Izzy would never forgive her if she were here and didn't wake her up, forces Quinn to cross the room to the bed, and hesitantly sit down on the edge of the mattress. She lays her hand gently on Izzy's shoulder, and shakes it ever so slightly, until the teen's green eyes slowly part, and meet Quinn's gaze.
"Hey, stranger."
Izzy's eyebrows furrow as the sleep-induced fog weighs heavily on her mind. But Quinn can see the recognition pass over her as the teen breaks into a toothy grin. "It's about damn time you came to see me."
Izzy launches herself up from where she has been lying, gathering Quinn, backpack and all, into her arms. The two girls laugh, tightening their embraces around the other, and simply relishing in the fact that they're back together, in each other's arms. It's the comfort and familiarity that Quinn's been craving; as much as she loves her siblings and would quite literally die for them, there's something about being with someone your own age, that understands what she's gone through (at least to some degree), that is just… different.
And oh so needed.
When they finally separate, Quinn takes the time to truly look her best friend up and down. She's thin, just like Izzy has always been, but Quinn can't tell if she's lost any weight. As her sleeping posture had suggested, the exhaustion is evident on her face – dark bags under her eyes, and her smile quickly lessening from its previously bright, state.
"Quit staring at me. I know I look like shit."
Quinn responds easily with a shrug. "Not like shit, just like you haven't slept in days. Have you been working or just not getting any sleep?"
Izzy leans back on the wall her bed is pressed up against, Quinn following suit after she takes the bag off her back. "Both. I've been picking up some of the night shifts at the store, and then just going over to Damien's house afterward. I slept in the barn a couple of times, but then I could've sworn I heard someone come in the middle of the night, so I stopped."
Closing her eyes with a sigh, Quinn lets this newfound information sink in. It's good that Damien, and more specifically, Damien's parents, have been cool about letting Izzy stay there. All three of them used to be close back when they attended (both regularly and in general) the same school. Izzy stopped going halfway through her sophomore year, but she kept in touch with Damien, especially with Quinn not being around. "Did Damien know you were sleeping in the barn?"
She shrugs. "I didn't tell him specifically, but he knows how Sandy gets at night and I was complaining to him one day that he stopped by the convenience store. He said that his parents go to bed at ten and that he would let me in if I came by his window after my shift. I just have to be out by four."
"Just be careful, okay? I don't want them calling the police on you or something if they happen to wake up early one morning or they see you going into his room."
Izzy nods, staring down at where their feet are sitting beside each other's. "I know. But at least there I can get a solid three hours."
Quinn's heart clenches at the admission, and the teen mentally berates herself for not checking in sooner. She's seen Sandy's ups and downs; she's seen when the woman – who used to be so close to her own mother – is spiraling out of control. The only difference between then and now, is that Quinn hasn't been around to catch Izzy when her mother tries to take her down with her. "Is she getting worse?"
Izzy hesitates in answering – not because she wants to hide anything from Quinn, but because she wants to properly convey what has been going on. "She goes all night long; from the time they get back here at, like, six, to five in the morning. And it's like her entourage has tripled in size. I don't even know half the people that are here anymore. It's just better to get out and stay out."
"Iz…"
"I mean, it's whatever. Most of the time I can just stay up here, but then one guy followed me up the stairs and I didn't want to stay here anymore. I slept in the barn, I started picking up extra shifts at the store, and Damien offered me his floor, so… it worked out."
Quinn turns so that she can meet Izzy's eyes, her own hazel orbs filled with a mixture of sympathy and understanding, as her voice softens. "How long has this been going on?"
Izzy reaches up to scratch her head, Quinn instantly noticing how her nails have been bitten down to the quick. It's her comfort mechanism, and the stubs that are there now are evidence of just how stressed she's been. "I don't know… a few weeks? It started up again a little after the last time we talked."
"I'm sorry, Iz, I should've tried harder to get to a phone."
Izzy waves off her concerns. "It's fine, you had your own shit going on. I'm just happy you're close enough now that you can visit."
Quinn nods. "It was a straight-shot from the school."
"Did your foster-mom-slash-teacher find out?"
"Not sure… I don't think so. It's not a big deal even if she does."
Izzy pulls one of her knees into her chest, picking at the lint that's on her sock. "This one not going to last long, either?"
A dry laugh escapes Quinn's mouth. "I have no idea."
"The great Quincy Perry doesn't have an estimate? I swear to God, sometimes I think you purposely get kicked out of the house just so that you can say you guessed right again."
Quinn rolls her eyes with another laugh, Izzy referencing the fact that, after a week in all of her previous placements, she makes an estimate as to how long her and her siblings will be living there. Usually, she's only off by a five days or so – if she's not spot on. "I don't know… Jordan and Ava like them. They're nice enough I guess. But you and I both know it isn't going to last."
Izzy nods knowingly, remarking sarcastically, "You're a free spirit that cannot be contained."
"More like a teen that has been raising her two siblings since they were born, and that is just so not something adults can imagine." The nagging thought of the fact that Beca, did in fact, raise her sister, tugs at the back of Quinn's brain, but she ignores it. It's not like their situations are exactly comparable "It's fine. We'll see how it goes."
Izzy doesn't seem convinced, and scoots further down against the wall. "You said Ava and J like them?"
Quinn can't stop herself from rolling her eyes once more; not at Izzy, but at the answer that she has to give her. "Jordan is falling head over heels for them, and Ava just started talking today, but she's been staying close to Chloe – the teacher – ever since the first week or so."
Izzy turns her nose up. "What about the other one? What was her name?"
"Beca. She's a music producer."
Izzy's eyebrow quirks upward. "Music producer? Is this like a Daddy Warbucks thing? Picking up the poor orphans from the group home?"
"No. All I know is that she's really only had one successful song or whatever... I didn't really stick around to ask questions. It's not like they live in a mansion or anything, so I don't know what her deal is."
Izzy leans up against Quinn's side, craving the company of her best friend that she's been missing for so long. "They must be doing something right if they got Ava to talk. It's been what? Two weeks?"
Quinn nods. "Like two and a half. Ava met Chloe at DCF when we were waiting for Rachel to find us another placement, and I guess that made them call Rachel? I've never seen Ava warm up this quickly to a pair of foster parents before; Jordan, sure, but not Ava. I don't know if it's because they haven't yelled yet, or if it's their daughter, but she stopped sleeping with me a few days in and she's been relatively comfortable around all three of them."
"How old is their daughter?"
"Five. Same as Ava. She's cute. Very...enthusiastic."
Izzy lets out a soft sigh. "As long as you aren't being used as a babysitter."
"No; Chloe is usually home. Beca sometimes comes back late but it's only like six or seven. I try and stay in my room as much as possible."
"I'm sure they love that."
Quinn shrugs. "I wouldn't know. I don't really give them a chance to say anything about it."
A snort escapes from the back of Izzy's mouth. "Good." The two teens shift once more, getting as close to each other as possible, the uncertainty of their next visit weighing in the air around them, and every further commitment for the afternoon slipping from their respective minds. "So, tell me all about how you told off that teacher."
"Have a good day, Lindsay!" Chloe waves goodbye to one of her coworkers, her free hand clutching on to the strap of her bag as she makes her way out to the parking lot. The day has gone by relatively quickly, with the redhead having the majority of her classes in the morning, and only one senior class in the afternoon. But she's looking forward to getting home and seeing the rest of her kids; to hear about their days and perhaps hear directly from Ava about what she did in school today. Hopefully, Quinn will already be out of her seventh period gym class and waiting by the car so they can beat some of the dismissal traffic.
Chloe maneuvers her way through the crowd, occasionally waving to a student or another teacher, but as she gets to her car, parked in the same spot she always parks in, her smile slowly dissipates, as Quinn is nowhere to be seen. It's not like she's incredibly late, it's just that, for the last two weeks, Quinn has beat Chloe to the car for their silent ride to the elementary school.
Chloe is trying incredibly hard to understand Quinn's clear hesitance to let Chloe and Beca into her life. Both her and Beca are. It makes sense, and Beca understands it more so on a personal level than Chloe, but it doesn't hurt any less. It doesn't make Chloe want to gather Quinn into a tight hug any less, or how she wants to take away the very evident pain that is in this poor girl's life. Especially with her siblings getting comfortable, it's difficult to remember to continue giving Quinn space.
Climbing into the front seat of the car, Chloe turns the volume on low, carefully watching the exit that she knows Quinn will be coming out of. She settles into her seat, secretly hoping that she hears one of Skylar's songs, as she knows Beca will be late tonight. As she settles into the soft music on the radio, her eyes on the door, she watches.
And watches.
And watches.
She continues to watch for the teen with each passing minute. As the clock ticks closer to 3pm, a time that is far past when she usually likes to be in the pickup line for the kids, Chloe's heart starts to beat a little faster. Her palms start to get a little clammy, and her fingers shake as she picks up her phone to dial Beca's number.
Surprisingly, her wife picks up on the second ring. "Hey, baby. How was your day?"
A smile spreads across her face just at the sound of Beca's voice. "Hi, Bec. My day was fine… how was yours?"
"Eh, a little busy, but it's okay. Are you on your way to pick up the kids?"
Chloe bites the corner of her lip, never once removing her gaze from the exit. "I'm actually still at the high school. I'm uh… I'm still waiting for Quinn."
In her office at the label, Beca looks at the clock on her computer screen with squinted eyes. "What do you mean you're still waiting for her? School ended twenty minutes ago."
"She never came out. I've been waiting, but she's still not here."
"Um… okay." Beca runs a tired hand through her hair, suddenly much less calm than she was two seconds ago. "Did you check her classes? Locker? Maybe she needed to do something?"
Chloe almost laughs at the fact that she hasn't done what Beca is suggesting. "No… but wouldn't she have been out by now?"
"I don't know. Why don't you go check and I'll go pick up the kids from the elementary school."
"Are you sure? It won't take me long to go check the school."
"Of course; I don't want Ava or Jordan thinking that we forgot them, especially with Ava talking now. I'll tell Theo I need to dip out for a little while."
Chloe nods an understanding, already turning off the car. "Okay. Thank you, Bec. I'll see you at home soon."
"Okay. See you soon. Love you."
"Love you, too."
Chloe hangs up quickly, and starts to make her way into the school, on a mission to find a certain teen that seems to be missing from Chloe's view more often than not.
She checks Quinn's locker and some of the more common parts of the school, including some of the uncommon ones as well. The redhead stays calm as she walks through the halls, but instantly pales as soon as she sees one of Quinn's afternoon teachers, who informs her that the teen in question did not show up to her sixth period social studies class.
As does her fifth period teacher.
And her seventh period teacher.
By the time Chloe finishes talking with Coach Baker in the gymnasium, pure fear is radiating through the older woman. Much like her wife had moments before, Chloe runs a tired hand through her hair, fiddling with her rings shortly afterward.
How could this happen?
Chloe is a teacher at the same school Quinn is attending. She's friends with all of Quinn's teachers. Under no circumstances should this have happened. She should've been more careful, she should have kept a closer eye on the teen, especially knowing how much she has been retreating into herself lately.
She should have known.
She should have been more aware.
With a shake of her head and during her powerwalk back to her car, Chloe dials Beca once more, and doesn't wait for a greeting. "Bec, she's not here."
"What do you mean she's not there?" Beca flips on her blinker to turn into Donahue Elementary's pick-up line.
"I talked with all of her teachers; I checked the entire school. She's not here, Beca."
"Okay, okay, kids skip all the time. She still needs a ride home, so she's probably just coming back later than she was expecting."
"Where would she even skip to, Bec? It's not like she knows anyone around here."
"I don't know, but I'm guessing she doesn't have any money to pay for a cab or Uber, so she's probably taking the bus, and it's not like there's a bus stop close to our house. She's going to have to go back to the one by the school."
"This is insane. How in the world did she just manage to skip all of her afternoon classes?"
"I'm not sure, Chlo, but let's just focus on getting her home. I'm about to be at the front of the pickup line, but just stay in the parking lot for a little while longer, and then drive around by the bus stop. I'll keep the younger kids busy until you find her. Keep me updated, okay?"
Chloe takes a deep breath, restarting the car and beginning to back out of the parking spot with her phone tucked in between her ear and her shoulder. "I will. I'll call you once I find her." Beca quickly says goodbye, and Chloe starts to her drive over to the student parking lot.
Without any sign of the brunette, Chloe's eyes flick from side to side, scanning every inch of Donahue's campus. She checks the fields, the parking lots, and when all of that turns up empty, she takes Beca's advice and starts to head toward the bus stop.
Quinn's foot bounces up and down on the floor of the bus in anticipation. She messed up. She knows she did. She thought staying slightly later at Izzy's wouldn't impact her arrival time back to the school. She was supposed to be there early enough so that she could be waiting for Chloe at her car, just like always.
But then her and Izzy got talking.
And they kept talking. Talking about everything they've missed in the past month, reminiscing about some childhood memories that are only enjoyable to remember when they're together.
Then she missed the bus she was supposed to take and had to get on another one.
Now, she's almost an hour late, and she has no idea how to get back to Beca and Chloe's house; she has no idea what her siblings do and don't know. She's fully prepared to get reamed out when she eventually makes it back to the Mitchell house, but right now she's just focused on actually getting back.
The bus pulls up to the stop by the high school, and Quinn practically pushes her way to the front of the rest of the passengers and crashing down the stairs. She grips the straps of her backpack and starts her trek back to the high school but stops mid-step when she hears a car door open, and a familiar voice call out.
"Quinn!"
Quinn slowly turns to face the call, growing still when she sees Chloe's concerned features – her eyes looking slightly teary, even from her position on the other side of the car. She can't come up with anything to say, and instead just gulps.
Chloe comes around the other side of the car. Even right now, she doesn't seem incredibly angry, but she isn't her usual chipper self either. Her eyebrows are knit, and her eyes are wide. "Quinn, I've been looking everywhere for you."
The teen remains silent as she rocks back and forth on her heels. She refuses to make eye contact with her foster mom, despite Chloe's clear desire to have her do the opposite.
Chloe, almost immediately noticing how rigid Quinn's posture is, and quite clearly how she's putting as much mental and physical distance between herself and the redhead, just shakes her head with a sigh. It's not worth getting into this on the side of the street when Beca is at home waiting, and they can handle this together. "Come on, get in the car. We'll talk about this when we get home."
Not leaving much room for discussion, Chloe opens the passenger door, raising an eyebrow at Quinn until she lets out a small huff, and climbs in. Satisfied with how she has handled the situation, Chloe quickly closes the door, and makes her way over to her own side of the car so that they can get home as soon as possible.
"Okay, so is the second number above five, or below five?"
Beca sits beside Jordan as he concentrates on his math worksheet, a bowl of grapes on the counter in front of him. The boy's leg hasn't stopped bouncing up and down since they took their respective seats at the counter, and while he hasn't said much, Beca is fully aware that both him and Ava know something is going on.
The older woman isn't exactly sure what to expect for when Quinn and Chloe return home. She got a text message from her wife about twenty minutes ago confirming that Quinn, did in fact, get off the bus, and since then, has been keeping a careful ear on the door so that she knows exactly when the pair has arrived. But more than that, she's concerned about how Quinn is going to be acting. She's not so concerned about whether Quinn and Chloe got into an argument – Chloe has always been a firm believer in talking out their problems rather than yelling. But Beca is also cognizant of the fact that neither her nor Chloe have ever handled a rebellious teenager before. Sure, Macy pushed their limits a few times, especially during her last two years of high school, but the younger Mitchell sister never just up and left without any warning. Plus, she had been with Beca her entire life – this is a new dynamic completely, one that neither Chloe nor Beca have ever experienced before.
"It's above."
Beca nods encouragingly, despite the fact that Jordan's answer is quiet and lacking his usual luster. "Good. So are we rounding up or rounding down."
Over the sound of Rosie and Ava have resumed playing with their dolls from this morning, Jordan mumbles, "up", and writes down the answer.
"Good job, bud. See, you've got this." Beca lays her hand on his back as a form of reassurance but removes it almost instantly when she feels Jordan tense beneath her touch. "You okay, Jordan?"
At the question, Rosie and Ava's quiet chattering stops, and Jordan places his pencil on the counter. He flicks his hazel orbs up to meet Beca's navy blue ones, clear apprehension in his question. "Where is Quinn?"
Beca takes a deep breath and forces a tight lipped smile on her face. She originally told the kids that their sister and Chloe were simply running late and had asked Beca to pick them up, but she's not about to lie straight to their faces, especially when she knows now that Quinn is safely in the car with Chloe. "Quinn skipped a few classes at school today and we weren't sure where she was for a little while. But Chloe has her now, and they'll be back in a few minutes."
Jordan lets out a soft, almost resigned sigh, his shoulders slouching as he starts to pick at the eraser on his previously abandoned pencil. "Are you guys mad at her?"
"We were scared, that's for sure, but we're going to talk to her about it and it'll all work out. I promise."
Almost as though Beca knew that the two missing women from their family were right around the corner, before Jordan gets a chance to answer, the garage door opens without much warning. All three of the kids, plus Beca, turn to look expectantly, and a collective sigh of relief seems to pass over the kitchen as they see Quinn taking off her shoes, and Chloe standing behind her, watching her do so.
Before Quinn can even make it over the threshold of the mudroom, Ava is sliding out of her chair and running over to the teen, launching herself into Quinn's waiting arms. The older brunette lifts her easily, pressing a kiss into the top of her head and holding her close. "Hey, monkey. How was school?"
Ava snuggles into her side, never once removing her arms from around Quinn's neck, as Beca notices that Jordan hasn't so much as glanced in his older sister's direction. "Good. Where'd you go?"
Quinn bops her little button nose as though no one else is in the room. "I had stuff I had to do. I'm back now, though."
Seemingly satisfied with this answer – even though both Beca and Chloe exchange wide eyed looks of confusion at the pure flippancy of Quinn's response – Ava tightens her arms one more time, before struggling enough to let her older sister know she wants to be put down.
Once Quinn's arms are no longer occupied, Rosie, too, speaks up. "Hi, Quinn!"
Quinn gives the redheaded five-year-old a small smirk and wave. "What's up, Rosie?"
Rosie shrugs. "Just playin'. Do you want a snack?"
Beca speaks up from beside her daughter. "Actually, Ro, why don't you, and Ava, and Jordan, head downstairs and pick out a movie for tonight. I can get Quinn a snack if she wants one."
Suddenly enthused with the idea of a movie night in the middle of the week, Rosie nods, joining Ava on the floor. "Okay! Come on, guys!" Ava follows without question, but Jordan remains seated, his gaze focused on the floor beneath his feet. "Jordan, you coming?"
Jordan, ever so slightly, glances up at Beca, who gives him an encouraging nod. It's only after he sees that, that he trudges along beside Rosie and Ava, closing the basement door behind them.
With the younger kids out of the room, Quinn shifts her weight from one foot to the other, waiting as Beca and Chloe clearly try to figure out what to do. It takes a few moments, but eventually, Chloe clears her throat. "Quinn, why don't you have a seat."
Without any objection, the teen shuffles over to the counter, hoping that this reprimanding is going to be quick and painless.
Beca and Chloe join each other on the opposite side, Beca's arms crossed over her chest. "So, you skipped your afternoon classes today. Do you want to tell us where you went?"
Quinn purses her lips and shakes her head, her eyes never leaving the granite. If they think they're going to get anything out of her, they're sadly mistaken. She hasn't so much as whispered a word about Izzy to the various foster parents, teachers, counselors, and social workers that she's dealt with for not just the last three years, but her entire life. If they knew about her, knew what she was going through, Izzy would undoubtedly be put into the system, too. That's something Quinn wouldn't wish upon her worst enemy. "Nope."
Chloe doesn't takes her eyes off the teen, trying to wrap her mind around her defensive attitude and short, though not avoidant, answers. "Would you like to tell us why you skipped class?"
Quinn pretends to think again, knowing that she's definitely pushing their limits, but also not knowing how else to answer. "Um…nope."
Beca quirks an eyebrow. "Okay. How about you tell us why you thought it was appropriate to skip class and leave school without telling anyone, and then return to where you were supposed to be the entire time, almost an hour late?"
This time, Quinn levels her own glare with the brunette, any happiness that she had from visiting with Izzy, long gone. "I came back, didn't I?"
Chloe lays her hand on top of Beca's, a silent warning to her wife to keep her own attitude in check. She's seen a few blow-outs where Beca and Macy butt heads, and the redhead is fully aware of what Beca is capable of when she's having an attitude thrown back at her. "Quinn, we are just trying to figure out what happened this afternoon. There's no need for the attitude."
In response to this, Quinn just scoffs, as though questioning the pure audacity of Chloe's comment. "Can I go upstairs now? I have homework to do."
Beca almost immediately shakes her head. "Absolutely not. Not until you tell us where you ran off to when you were supposed to be in class."
"I don't really think that's any of your business."
Chloe grips Beca's hand tighter. "Quinn, I'm going to need you to watch your tone." Chloe, herself, takes a deep breath. "Did something happen at school? Is that why you left?"
Quinn squints her eyes in confusion, her own frustration hitting its boiling point. She knows that she should've been back at the school by dismissal, but she also knows that this is her life - it isn't anyone else's business, especially two people who she barely knows. Two people that don't know the first thing about who she is. "What? No! I just didn't feel like going to class. I'm not a school person, I don't enjoy spending my entire life in a building, learning things that I'm never going to need to know in real life."
"Well, unfortunately, that's how it has to be." Beca's voice raises ever so slightly in volume, making her glad that the kids are a full floor below and most likely won't hear. "You need to stay in school for the entire day. I know it's not the best thing, but it's something that everyone has to do."
Quinn keeps her face blank. "If I say 'okay', can I go upstairs?"
Beca almost flinches backward, her eyebrows furrowed and a crease appearing in the middle of her forehead. "Wha—"
"Great. See you later."
Before either woman can get another word out, Quinn is moving from the kitchen to the stairs, and running up them without any audible protests from her foster moms.
Beca and Chloe, on the other hand, simply turned to each other with stunned expressions on their faces, the conversation - and Quinn's entire demeanor - doing a complete one-eighty without any warning or obvious reason. "What the hell just happened?"
Flashback – 5 Years Ago
Beca rests her hands on her swollen belly, the bump large enough so that she can comfortably lay her hands on top of it, stroking the stretched skin beneath the fabric of her Barden Bellas t-shirt.
It always shocks her how quickly this happened. How she went from cradling Chloe in a hospital bed – not once, but twice – to being pregnant herself. How it took the first time, and they weren't even sure if the embryo made up of Chloe's egg and donor sperm that they had implanted in Beca, would stay viable long enough to allow the pregnancy to go to full term. Now, only two months out, the doctor's say that they're almost certain that they'll have a healthy baby girl in their arms by the end of August.
It's not the first time that Beca has found herself in awe of her pregnancy. For a while, they weren't even sure if having biological children would be in the cards for them. Chloe miscarried the first time a few years ago; the doctor's hadn't said much, mostly that it must have been something genetic or chromosomal. It hadn't been anything that Chloe did. Despite that, it destroyed the redhead for the better part of three weeks. She didn't leave her bedroom, she cried into Beca's arms like Beca had only seen her do a few times before. It was devastating, only punctuated by the fact that they were so thrilled at the prospect of finally having a child of their own.
They tried another round of IVF, and then another. They should have known that it would be a difficult pregnancy just by how long it took for them to get a viable embryo. But eventually, Chloe got pregnant again. This time, the pregnancy only lasted a couple of weeks, and the two Mitchell women were thrown into another loop of despair, not sure what to do or what went wrong.
It was only after the doctor's ran some additional tests that they realized Chloe had some sort of abnormality that prohibited enough blood from being able to supply the pregnancy. It was a devastating blow – especially because knowing this information could have prevented both Chloe and Beca from going through a second miscarriage. Though they found comfort in the fact that at least it provided them with some information about where to go next.
That's how Beca ended up agreeing to carry – something she never expected herself to do in the first place. But it was her suggestion: to use Chloe's egg and the same donor sperm and have Beca carry the baby to term. It allowed Chloe to still have that baby that she always hoped for and dreamed of. It allowed Beca the chance to have a mini-Chloe running around just like she had always imagined; and it allowed both women to be involved with the creation of their unborn child.
It's been exciting, exhilarating, and exhausting – all the best things about parenting that are sure to come out in full force in the following years.
But to be completely honest, standing here in their daughter's nursery, painted a light yellow with pictures of the family already hanging from various hooks and pegs, the only emotion that Beca is feeling, is fear.
Fear that she'll mess up. Fear that something will happen during labor and she'll let Chloe down. Fear that she won't be good at raising a child (something that both Chloe and Macy have disputed many times over, but something, nonetheless, that keeps Beca up at night). These thoughts (among others that she really doesn't want to acknowledge) have been weighing heavily on her ever since the doctor's appointment that told the two women that they were pregnant once more, and while she's done her best to assuage her own fears, there are certain days where they tend to swallow her and occupy all of her thoughts.
Which is why Chloe, upon getting home from the grocery store, finds Beca standing in nursery, staring at the copy of the same picture of Amelia and Warren Mitchell that Macy carried around with her from foster home to foster home.
Chloe slowly walks across the room, trying not to get lost in the wave of excitement that always passes over her when she sees the baby furniture and all of the toys, and clothes, and books that they've accumulated over the last seven or so months. She gently lays her hand on Beca's shoulder so as not to startle her, her heart shattering when she sees the red-rims of Beca's navy blue orbs. "What's going on, Bec? I thought you were going to lay down for a little while."
Beca shrugs, wiping a finger hastily beneath her eyes, and trying to force a smile on her face at an attempt in convincing her wife that she's fine. Of course, it does the exact opposite. "My mind was just… busy."
"Want to talk about it?" It's not all that uncommon for Beca's hormones to get the better of her; a stark contrast to how she normally has a far easier time keeping tears or anger at bay. But Chloe knows the past few months have been hard; she knows that Beca has been struggling with some intense feelings of self-doubt. Even if they haven't talked about it all too much, Chloe knows. They've been together long enough that she can see it a mile away. "Come on, why don't you sit down. Get off your feet."
Beca allows herself to be guided over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room, immediately thankful once her swollen feet are up on the ottoman. She swallows down the bundle of nerves that has lodged itself in her throat. "How was the store?"
Chloe shakes her head, eyes full of concern. "No, none of that. What's going on? What's wrong?"
A moment of silence passes over Beca, even though she knows she's not getting out of this conversation without a legitimate answer. Eventually, she shrugs, keeping Chloe's hand in hers but looking away from her wife's baby blues. "I'm just nervous, that's all."
Chloe nods in agreement. "It's scary. I know. But we'll get through it, and that little girl is going to be the absolute light of our lives. She's going to be worth all the fear, and excitement, and joy, and nerves. She already is."
"I know. I'm not doubting that." Beca sighs, trying to wrangle her thoughts into a coherent sentence. "It's not that, it's just… what if we mess her up? What if I mess her up?"
Instantly shaking her head, Chloe's curls bounce from side to side. "Not a chance, Bec. You're going to be an amazing Mama. I know that for a fact. Are we going to make mistakes? Sure. Everyone does. But our baby is going to have so much love in her life, so much happiness, that it isn't going to matter."
"But what if –" Beca stops short, cutting herself off before the true fear, the most prominent one in her mind, slips from her lips.
Chloe tilts her head in concern. "What if, what?"
Letting out another sigh, Beca continues to grip Chloe's hand for support and for strength. "What if we aren't there."
The redhead furrows her eyebrows slightly. "What do you mean?" Subconsciously, Beca's eyes flick up to the picture of her parents, practically spelling out what she stopped herself from saying. "Oh, Beca…"
"I'm serious, Chloe." Tears swell in her eyes once more, Beca's other hand finding itself back on her stomach. "What if something happens to us, and we're not there to give her all of the love and happiness that she deserves?"
With her own throat tightening with emotion, Chloe immediately shakes her head. "No, baby, that's not…" She stops herself, taking a deep breath and rephrasing what she originally was going to say. "I understand you being scared of that; I do. But Beca, we aren't the only ones that are going to be in our daughter's life. If something – God forbid – were to happen to us, she would have Macy, and my parents, my brothers, Stacie, Aubrey, the rest of the Bellas…there would never be a shortage of love. She would be taken care of, without a doubt."
A few tears escape the corner of Beca's eyes, and she angrily wipes them away.
"How long has this been on your mind?"
The brunette sniffles with a shrug. "A while, I guess."
Chloe's heart shatters just a little bit more. "Why didn't you say something, Bec?"
"Because it's stupid! It's not like I want to think about us dying, but then I see a picture of my parents, and it's just a reminder that we weren't expecting it either. That it could happen to anyone. And I don't want to burden Macy or your brothers or your parents with another kid if something were to happen to us, and I just –"
"—was taking care of Macy a burden?"
Beca crinkles her eyebrows, her mind still focused on the words that seem to be spilling from her mouth. "What?"
Chloe remains steadfast, repeating her question. "Was taking care of Macy a burden? For you, I mean."
Once she comprehends what Chloe is asking, Beca immediately shakes her head. "No, of course not, but—"
"There are no 'buts'. Why would any of those people think that raising our daughter if something were to happen to us, the people that, second to us, will love her more than anything in the world, would be a burden?"
Beca hangs her head. "I don't know." She sniffles once more. "It's just terrifying. I don't want her to have to grow up like I did."
Chloe pushes herself off the ground from where she was crouching in front of Beca, promptly gathering her wife in her arms. "She's not going to have to. There's a whole army of people that would take care of her."
Beca takes a deep breath of Chloe's perfume, the sweet scent, combined with being in her hold, brings her comfort like very few things do. "Can we talk to them about it?"
"Talk to who about what?"
"Macy. Your parents. Can we figure out who she would live with if something were to happen? Can we have papers drawn up?"
Chloe nods almost immediately. "Of course, we can. We can get it all squared away before she's born if that's what you want to do."
There's another moment of hesitation on Beca's end, before she nods. But even before she acknowledges Chloe's offer, her chest feels lighter; it's easier to breathe. It's just one other thing that she was worried about, that Chloe so easily found a solution to. Just like she always does. Because somehow, someway, Beca is lucky enough to have a wife that knows her like the back of her own hand. Beca is lucky enough to be married to her best friend, to the one person in the world who seems to make all of her troubles and fears disappear.
The next chapter might be up as soon as Monday, and hopefully I'll be able to return to our normal schedule next week! I can't wait to hear your thoughts on Chapter 9 :) As always, thanks so much for reading and your continued support!