Warning: Cursing and yelling ahead. Moustead argument.

Today was not Jay Halstead's day. He was fighting off a virus that he had developed over the last few days. Mouse listened from outside the door as Jay threw up in a bucket in the bathroom. Jay, being in a wheelchair, couldn't bend down to throw up in the toilet, so they resorted to using a bucket. The least Greg could do now was give Jay some privacy to be sick without an audience.

"Do you guys need anything? Danny is at the grocery store right now." Gail asked quietly.

"Can we have some Advil and Pedialyte? Jay has probably thrown up all his pain meds already, so hopefully Advil will take the edge off, and the Pedialyte should keep him from getting dehydrated."

"Certainly. I'll go give him-" Both of them cringed as a particularly loud wretch sounded. Gail nodded and left..

"You okay in there buddy?" Greg said, knocking on the door.

A cough sounded before Greg heard a groan.

"No," Jay said.

"Is it an emergency or no?"

"No emergency."

"Alright, hang in there man. I'm right out here,"

"This hurts so bad,"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Danny is at the store getting Advil." Another wretch sounded before a sniffle.

"It's not gonna help. I'm just gonna throw it up."

"We gotta try something."

"Whatever. I think I'm done."

"You ready for me to come in?"

"Yeah." Greg slowly opened the door to reveal a red faced Jay holding a bucket of vomit.

"I love civilian life."

"Ha. Just because you didn't get sick over there doesn't mean that you can't get a stomach bug overseas."

Greg took the bucket of vomit and dumped it into the toilet and flushed. Jay used some baby wipes to clean his face as Greg washed the bucket out.

"I have some ginger ale in the kitchen if you want to go there, or we can hang out here. Wherever you feel more comfortable."

"I can't stay in here. The smell is gonna make me throw up."

"Alright. You want me to roll you, or you got it."

"I got it." Jay said, pushing himself forward. When he got to the kitchen he sighed before rubbing his hands through his fresh haircut. It used to be buzzed, but it had grown out alot when he was in the hospital and when he came home, so a few days ago, less than a week after coming home, he got it freshly cut and styled. (Jay's haircut now on PD). The sides and back were short, and the top was kept a little longer, allowing some of that natural curl to show itself off.

He picked the ginger ale up and slowly drank. He waited for Mouse before asking for help getting from his wheelchair to the couch. He was tired, nauseous, and in a horrible amount of pain. Because of all that, he was in a rather sour mood.

By some miracle he didn't throw up for the rest of the night. Mouse would periodically wake him up to drink something and take his evening pain meds before letting him sleep the rest of the night away. Unlike the last two nights, he didn't wake up three or four times throughout the night to throw up. Both boys snored loudly that night, utterly exhausted, making Gail and Danny chuckle. Everytime they walked into the living room, Jay would be passed out on the couch and Greg would be asleep in the recliner. Each boy had a blanket gently placed over them and didn't wake up until the morning.

The morning brought its own challenges though. Jay was fatigued, dehydrated, and hungry, as well as nauseous. Mouse did his best to take care of Jay, while battling his own recently discovered nausea. By noon both boys were in the bathroom throwing up. Gail took care of Greg, while Danny took care of Jay, both making sure to disinfect surfaces behind the boys and frequently wash their hands. They felt horrible that both boys were now sick and prayed that they wouldn't get sick too. Pity really hit them hard when Jay yelled for Danny and by the time he had gotten there, Jay had vomited all down the front of his shirt, having not been able to reach the bucket from the bed. Both boys barely said a word that day, being sick as dogs. Jay rarely moved, fatigue and headaches plus pain from his back surgeries practically paralyzing what wasn't already paralyzed. After having to cancel both of Jay's first physical therapy appointments, which Jay was bummed about, the Corsons finally decided enough was enough and dragged both moody boys to the doctor like little kids the next day, where they were both diagnosed with Strep throat and prescribed antibiotics. The next day both boys didn't throw up one time. Granted, the room was still spinning for Jay and Greg could barely walk to the bathroom because of the fatigue. But little by little, they seemed to get better. Their conversations would consist of "I'm really sorry, Mouse," and "Jay, It's not your fault." By day 8 of Jay being sick, they started to feel good enough to joke about getting sick together. By day 9, they ate small amounts of normal food.

By day 10, having not thrown up in two days, the boys had regular meals. Jay was grateful that his pain meds were finally staying down, and for the relief they brought. Both boys were feeling pretty well. They went outside for a short walk/ride in a nearby park to get some fresh air. It was short lived, however, after a young boy accidentally thoroughly embarrassed Jay, pointing at him and asking his mother in a rather loud voice "what's wrong with that man" which attracted the attention of other bystanders. Jay's cheeks burned as the mother tried to quiet the boy and apologize to mainly Greg, like Jay couldn't speak for himself. But the damage had already been done and people were already staring.

"Can we just go home?" Jay asked quietly.

"Jay, I'm sure he didn't- "

"Please. I just want to go home." Jay said, fighting back hot tears. Much to Jay's confusion, Mouse stopped pushing him when they got to a mostly secluded place and kneeled down in front of him.

"Hey, do not shut down. Talk to me. Tell me what's going through your head." Jay looked down and tried to blink back tears of anger.

"It's just you and me. No one's gonna say anything."

"Do they not understand? Like, dammit! I'm not inept! I'm not some freakin animal to be made fun of."

"Deep breaths Jay. I know what you're going through-"

"Do you? Do you have people stare at you in the grocery store? Do people leave whatever aisle you're in in the grocery store like you're gonna run them over? Do people point and whisper about you like you're blind and deaf? Do kids ask what's wrong with you? Do waiters give you looks in restaurants? Do you have to tell people that just because they try to lean forward over the counter a little that it doesn't mean you can reach whatever they're trying to hand you? Do you find yourself in any of those situations daily?" Mouse was a little dumbfounded at Jay's outburst.

"No, I haven't experienced any of those situations."

"Then don't even go there with the "I understand" crap because there's no way on God's green earth that you could understand." Jay practically shouted.

"No, you know what. I don't understand what it's like to be paralyzed. I've never been paralyzed. But guess what you don't understand. You don't understand what it's like to hear the closest person you've ever had in your life scream as metal ripped apart the skin of his back. You don't know what it was like to drag myself across the dirt and feel for your pulse while your unconscious self was bleeding out. You don't know what it's like to talk to your unconscious best friend while he was this close to dying. You don't know what it was like to read books to a lifeless body. To comb the hair of an unmoving person. To pray that his life would be spared for one more day. You don't know what it's like to have your heart ripped out by the horrible moans he would make while his burns were being treated. To hold his hand and pray that he could hear you while you tried to tell him that it would be okay, and that he was okay and that the pain would go away. You don't know what it's like to listen to him breathe through a ventilator. A ventilator! Jay, you were on f*cking life support for a while. They didn't know if you would make it! Do you not get that!? I had to sit back and do nothing while you were basically dying! I am trying so hard to be there for you! To help you! Sometimes, it's your own damn stubborn independence that keeps you from realizing that you're not alone."

"I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP! I'M NOT SOME DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!" Jay immediately regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.

"What is your problem, Jay?"

"Excuse me?"

"News flash, Jay! YOU'RE F*CKING PARALYZED."

"I'M NOT AN IDIOT. I DON'T NEED A REMINDER."

"MAYBE YOU NEED A REALITY CHECK AND REALIZE THAT AS OF RIGHT NOW, WITHOUT SOMEONE TO HELP YOU, YOU'RE BASICALLY HELPLESS."

"GO TO HELL."

"YOU CAN'T EVEN PEE ON YOUR OWN."

"YES, LETS ANNOUNCE THAT TO THE WORLD."

"OH MY GOD JAY. I GET YOU'RE ANGRY. JUST LET ME IN. LET SOMEONE IN. YOU CAN'T DO THIS ALL BY YOURSELF."

"I know." It was a barely whispered statement that caught Mouse off guard. The voice was raw and it was succeeded by a soft sniffle. Mouse saw Jay wipe a tear away and felt horrible that he had let his anger get the best of him and he had yelled at Jay. Jay's face got even redder than it was and he rubbed his fingers in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I feel horrible. I feel like a terrible person. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that." Jay said softly as tears dripped down his cheeks. Mouse could practically see Jay's spirit break.

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

"You've just been trying to support me. You've been the best friend that anyone can ask for and I've just been giving you a hard time. I really do appreciate your help. I'm sorry."They were quiet for a while as Jay silently wiped whatever tears fell down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry for taking my anger out on you. You've been a saving grace and I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

"I get that you're angry. Embarrassed. Frustrated. I think we both have pretty thick skin, which can make it hard to listen to the advice of others." They sat in silence.

"You ready to go home?" Greg asked after a while to which Jay silently nodded in response.

Greg helped Jay get in the rental car he was using until he bought one, and they drove home in silence.

When they entered the Corson's house, Gail warmly smiled at them.

"How was your-" Greg just shook his head as Jay wheeled past them to their bedroom.

"What happened? Is everything ok?" Gail whispered. Greg just shook his head and took a deep breath.

"A little boy embarrassed Jay."

"Oh no-"

"We were on that walkway that went by the playground and a little kid pointed at him. And he asked his mom what was wrong with Jay."

"Oh my god."

"And she tried apologizing to me. Like Jay wasn't even there. And that just made things worse. He wanted to go home after that so I went to a place that was pretty much deserted. And I tried to talk to him. But, he was angry. We ended up fighting. He yelled, I yelled back. I- I don't know. We both apologized, but he's been quiet ever since. And now I feel terrible for yelling at him. He was already embarrassed and angry and I yelled at him and made him more upset. I- ugh!" Greg scrubbed his face with his hand.

"I told him he was helpless because of his paralysis. I basically told him that he was inept. I don't even know why. Like it somehow justified me not being able to understand the awkwardness and tough situations he has to put up with socially."

"I know this isn't what you want to hear, but Jay must have said some nasty things too. Both of you are at fault. But fights happen in friendships. Especially when you spend most of your time around someone. Jay was bound to take his anger and frustration out on someone, and you just happened to be there when the dam broke. I really don't think he was angry at you, so much as he was angry about his paralysis. It's not always about understanding what someone else is going through. Sometimes it's just about being there while they're going through it. I'm not saying whatever either of you said to each other was right. But maybe, let him know that we'll be there for him even if we can't know exactly what he's feeling." Gail offered.

"Thanks. I really appreciate it. I'm gonna go check on Jay." Gail squeezed his shoulder and nodded.

Greg quietly walked up to the door of their bedroom and looked inside to see Jay facing the window at the far side of the room, next to Greg's bed. He knocked on the door frame.

"Hey." He said in a somber tone, walking into their room. He peered closer and saw Jay lightly rubbing the tag of the black zip-up jacket his mom had given him. I love you, my beautiful boy she had written on it.

"Hey," Jay replied, staring out the window, head resting on his fist.

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking." Jay sucked in a sharp breath.

"Look, I'm really sorry for being an a*shole back there. I don't know what got into me. And I'm really sorry for yelling at you and telling you that you're helpless even though you're not. I know this is incredibly hard for you. And you've been so brave and strong and resilient. You're right about me not knowing what being paralyzed is like. I should've left it at that and not gotten so angry. I'm sorry." Greg said.

"Don't be. I started this whole thing. I should've handled my anger better instead of taking it all out on you. I'm embarrassed by the horrible things that I said. I shouldn't have told you to go to hell. I didn't mean it and I apologize."

"Let's just forget it happened okay? We both let our anger get the best of us. We're gonna figure this out."

"Together."

"Yeah. Together." Jay sighed.

"I'm gonna go see about lunch, if you want to stay here you can or you can come."

"I'm coming."

hey, you. yes, you! Can you review this chapter for me? pleeeease? thank you!