Coming Out and Introductions Part 2:
As all of the players are seated in their seats, they were jovially talking to each other about what's new on their upcoming opponent and their game plan. Jay, Jason, Phillip Halpert, and Phillip Schrute were discussing with one another about how their team functions
"Yo! Are those the two new guys from Philadelphia? The ones talking to Jay and Jason?" Issac Martinez asked Winston Demarius.
"Yeah. Since Jay and Jason are star players, Coach Larson had them give them a tour and introduction about our team culture, practices, celebration days, and our policy toward football," Winston said.
"And why are there cameramen in the meeting room? It's weird," Issac commented.
"Didn't you hear? An NFL documentary is about to film us. They think they're seeing a new generation of 49ers glory. Awesome, right?" said Logan Warner.
"Oh. That's nice," Issac said.
While Issac glanced at them one more time, Jay and Jason were talking to both Phillips.
"So, Halpert. You said your dad owns Athleap? Did he tell you Jason and I signed a contract with him?" Jay asked Phillip Halpert.
"He did. He told me that you were signed, but lied about Jason also being signed before I learned he was dating my big sister. He told me truth yesterday," Phillip Halpert said.
"Hmm. So you do know that any mention of my name or Jason's involvement in the contract would result in the void. Even if it was an alleged statement or rumor," Jay said.
"Yeah. But it's fine. You guys are still on the contract, right?" Phillip Halpert questioned.
"Yup. And we ain't breaking away from it," Jason affirmed.
"Well, that's good to hear. You guys wanna talk about Coach Larson? He seems pretty self-reserved," Phillip Schrute said.
"Coach Larson. Right. His full name is Hunter Raymond Larson. He was this genuine football player who was best in his draft class. He earned a roster spot among the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and played as a utility player. After a few years, he retired from playing. He then took up coaching jobs in the Bay Area and coached lots of high school winning teams. Monta Vista. Los Gatos. De La Salle. Menlo-Atherton. He slowly rose up the ranks and coached college football. He coached at Oregon, Iowa, and Baylor. After Kyle Shanahan retired, the 49ers hired Larson. With Larson, he revived the 49ers glory the Faithful wanted to see. The way he did that was unorthodox," Jason said.
"What do you mean by unorthodox?" Phillip Schrute asked.
"He made a lot of changes to how the team functions. He would first have a brutal practice, then a team-bonding activity afterward. Those activities deepen our relationships with one another. After every game win, we'd have a team breakfast on Tuesday. We usually get pancakes with any type of sweet and citric topping. He's been continuing that every year. And the 49ers organization loves him for developing talented players and deepening team-bonding," Jay stated. "He also puts out these days where we can bring someone to practice. Those days are unofficial scrimmages with our own offense and defense. He thinks it'll help improve morale and confidence. And it worked."
"Sounds like a fun coach who cares about people," Phillip Schrute commented.
"Oh, I forgot to mention. He has a very good sense of humor. So, feel free to make a joke or a non-harmful prank and he'll laugh. He was also in a band called The Hunted. There was this one song which I believe was sexually provocative," Jason said.
"What do you mean?" Phillip Halpert asked.
"This song had hints about him losing his virginity to an attractive lady cougar and how he enjoyed it. In related news, there were hinted rumors that he was in an affair with the same lady, who was once the Vice President of Sales in a paper company. He was her assistant back then," Jason commented.
"Shit! You serious?" Phillip Schrute said.
"I think so. If you guys are curious, I'll give you the song name. It's called That One Night," Jay said.
"I'll be sure to look it up," Phillip Schrute said.
Just as they were about to talk, a man with a 5' 8.5" height, average weight, dark brown eyes and hair, about 52 years old, with an anchor beard and a disconnected mustache.
"Morning, boys. Gotta say, I was happy about our win, but we had a few setbacks which resulted in a very close loss. We need to clean that up. So far, you know our QB Alex Richardson has torn his anconeus. Meaning, this season has ended for him. And our top cornerback, Mike Cooper, has torn his ACL and is currently getting surgery. In response to the loss of our QB, we got new players from a trade I made with Philadelphia. Here, we have Phillip Halpert, a cornerback we can all say successfully prevented many passes coming to Jason Scott. And Phillip Schrute, a QB who just made his mark as one of the rising back-up QBs in NFL history. I would've pulled up a few from the practice squad, but I didn't wanna risk it. Without further ado, give a round of applause for both Phillip Halpert and Schrute," Coach Larson said.
Everyone clapped without reluctance and had a few smiles on their faces.
"So, I'll start off explaining our agenda for the day. This morning, we'll go over game tapes on Sunday's matchup against the Philadelphia Eagles. We'll also be discussing the game tape with our next opponent, the Buccaneers. After the discussion, we'll be having pancakes like always. After the breakfast brunch, we will start practice. And I will be more tough on you guys. After practice, we'll have our scrimmage, where you will be watched by your significant others," Coach Larson stated.
"Coach, didn't you want something from Halpert and I?" Phillip Schrute asked when he raised his hand.
"About that, it'll be after the game-tape discussion," Coach Larson answered, knowing what Schrute is talking about.
"I've got the game-tape on our match-up against the Eagles. I was happy about the way we played. But we need to clean up on our errors," Coach Larson said, while he played the game-footage.
As the game footage showed a missed tackle by Logan Warner, Larson paused the video.
"Logan, you caused the offense to make an impact play due to your missed tackle on the ball carrier. If you tackled the guy, then we would've stopped him from making that TD," Coach Larson pointed out.
As the game-footage kept playing and Coach Larson pointed out mistakes and explained how the team needs to fix them, he played another game-tape, which showed footage on the Buccaneers's season opener.
"You see #31 Gunnar Mostert? That's their main impact player, right there. He'll pass you like the wind when he runs with the ball. Logan, Issac, Niko, Hodgkins, Bosa, and Percival. You guys will take care of the rushing defense. We'll put in a blitz package for the Bucs O-line to an extent they can't handle. We'll pull stunts on them to keep them guessing," Coach Larson stated. "Another person the defense need to look out for is #14 Dempsey. Their tight end. Trust me, even the best corners in almost every team couldn't be 1-on-1 with him. Except for Halpert. I've seen him intercept the ball whenever he's lined up on Dempsey. Halpert, your job is to be man-to-man on Dempsey. If it's a single or double coverage, be physical with Dempsey. And don't let the ball touch his hands. Strip it from him if he catches it."
As Larson discussed the weak points of the Bucs defense and special teams, the game-footage stopped playing.
"Ok, it's time for Pancake Hour. Halpert, Sharma, Scott, Schrute, stay back. The rest of you, you may go ahead and enjoy," Coach Larson instructed.
When everyone left except for Jay, Jason, and both Phillips, Coach Larson wanted to talk to them in private.
"You guys looked pretty friendly out there when we had that meeting. You guys patched up your differences?" Coach Larson asked, surprised by what he saw from today's meeting.
"Yeah. We're all good. Plus, Halpert and Schrute made their apologies before we headed to the meeting. And we made our apologies as well. So all's good," Jason said.
"That's good to hear. I'm glad you guys overcame your differences and I hope you guys develop a better bond than you're having right now," Coach Larson said.
"Yes, sir," Phillip Halpert said.
"Alright, get out of here. Enjoy your pancakes," Coach Larson instructed.
As the four of them left, they were met by their significant others.
"So, how'd it go?" Addison asked.
"Coach didn't need to hear our apologies. He saw me and Jay get along pretty nicely," Phillip Schrute said.
"That's good to hear. Should we get some pancakes?" Astrid said.
"Yeah, we should," Jay said.
As Jay, Jason, Phillip Schrute, and Phillip Halpert went along with their significant others for the Breakfast Brunch and got their brunch, they were discussing about meeting each other.
"Let me get this straight. You guys met each other at a Hollywood Red Carpet event while you guys were with different people. After you guys broke up with your exes, you guys started dating each other and learned about your families, which resulted in your relationship to be a secret," Cecelia said to Phillip Halpert and Emily Scott.
"That's right. And if I hadn't met Phillip here, I wouldn't be here," Emily said.
"That's sweet. More sweet than ours," Addison commented.
"What's your love at first sight like?" Phillip Schrute asked Jay and Astrid.
"Mine and Ms. Levinson's love story was a college romance, actually. We met at a football game. She was a spectator while I was a player for Stanford. After the game, Jason and I met Cecelia and Astrid here. That'll explain our love at first sight. While Jason and Cecelia took the slow and normal approach, Astrid and I hooked up at my dorm back in Stanford," Jay said.
"I remember. I didn't like the fact you were bringing multiple girls to the room when I'm not around. And you did honor my request to not bring girls to our dorm when I'm around," Jason said.
"What about you, Schrute? Your love at first sight worth my time?" Jason asked.
"Well, me and Addison met at this frat party in Harvard. It was a football thing. I think we saw each other in a game of Spin the Bottle. Once she spun the pottle and it stopped at me, we got a little 'interested,' " Phillip Schrute said.
"Hmm, that's nice. You guys wanna discuss about how your parents met each other? I know Jason and Emily's parents have met Cecelia and Phillip's parents in the past. Care to entertain us with your stories?" Jay asked.
"Ok, I'll start. My dad, Michael, was a Regional Manager of a paper company branch. He used to hate this H.R. Rep named Toby. Because he dissuades him from pulling any antics which apparently may harm his co-workers. Also, because of Toby's status as a divorcee and a better parent to his kids, my dad was jealous of him. Because of that jealousy, he started to hate Toby. When Toby left for Costa Rica, he was replaced by my mom, Holly. My dad was smitten by her and she somewhat has kept my dad sane and well-behaved because they shared the same sense of humor. They started dating and had a smooth relationship going. Unfortunately, they were temporarily separated due to their former boss and current CEO of the paper company, David Wallace. He saw it as a H.R. relationship problem, and had my mom transferred to Nashua. Due to the long distance between Nashua and Scranton, my mom and dad broke up. He was extremely depressed afterwards. After a while, he found love temporarily, but she was a bad choice," Jason said.
"What happened afterwards?" Phillip Halpert said.
"Well, you know my dad dated your maternal grandma. Not to make everyone uncomfortable, but you need to know my dad was in a rough spot. My dad realized he was hurting your mom and he broke up with her, but the timing was not great. Despite that, they remained friends," Jason explained to Phillip Halpert.
Jay was shocked. He never imagined Michael to date an older woman. Astrid was shocked as well, along with Phillip Schrute and Addison. What really stood out was that Cecelia, Emily, Phillip Halpert or Jason never felt disgusted about it. Taking into consideration that Jason's dad was very depressed at the time, Jay, Astrid, Addison, and decided to not mention it again.
"That's just sad and not okay at the time being," Jay commented, expressing his disapproval over the fact Michael dated Phillip's and Cecelia's grandma.
"We were shocked, just like you were. Our parents told us everything and we were horrified at first. But, I learned my dad was depressed during that time. So, I was just gonna pity him for making that bad decision," Jason said.
"Never thought I'd hear this in my life," P. Schrute said.
"Well, continuing on my story, my dad met my mom again. She got transferred to Scranton again. After she broke up with her boyfriend, she went back to my dad. They resumed dating again. After my dad proposed, he moved to Colorado with her. And that's Emily's and my parents' story," Jason finished.
"Wow. Your dad is a lucky man," P. Schrute said.
"Yeah. I know. But I wouldn't be more lucky if he still loved my mom like he always did," Jason said.
"Wait. You said the branch was at Scranton? What was the company called?" Astrid said. "Oh, I'm also from Scranton, born and raised."
"The company was called Dunder-Mifflin. It was one of the companies which crashed in the 2009 stock market crash. It was bought out by another corporation named Sabre until they were bought out by the same man who separated my parents for the first time," Jason said.
"Gotta tell you, that David Wallace dude ain't much of a sympathetic person when it comes to office relationships," Astrid commented.
"You got that right," Jason said.
"What about you Cecelia and Halpert? Sounds like you guys got a story about your parents," Jay said.
"Um, my parents met at the same company as Jason's parents. My mom was a receptionist and my dad was a paper salesman at the time. My mom was engaged to this warehouse worker named Roy Anderson. He was a shitty fiance at the time. My dad was the office hottie. Like, he was the best in sales and attracted lots of girls. My mom was also in love with him, but couldn't help herself leave Roy as they had the date of their wedding set. My dad, he was heartbroken and he couldn't take it. He transferred to another branch in the company at that time," Phillip Halpert said.
"Sounds interesting. I want to hear more. Continue," Jay said, intrigued by where the story's headed.
"My dad at the other branch met this woman named Karen. She's a career-oriented woman who's a personable person. My dad and her hit it off right away. When the other branch closed, the remaining employees of that branch were transferred to Scranton. My dad was a little scared to face my mom at that time. But, turns out she had cold feet a few days before her wedding with Roy. When my mom and dad met again after a few months of a distance gap, they became friends again. I remember them playing a prank on someone by hiding that person's cellphone in the ceiling and calling it. The results of the prank were outrageous," Cecelia said.
"What were the results?" Astrid asked.
"That someone punched a hole on an office wall," Cecelia said.
"Shit! Looks like your parents are prone to causing people to get angry," Addison joked.
"Hey. People nearly got physical and were against our parents' relationship. Roy found out my mom kissed my dad the night before my dad transferred to the branch and he vandalized a bar. Afterward, Roy was about to kill my dad, but my dad's rival saved him by spraying pepper spray on Roy's face. And my dad had to dump Karen," Phillip Halpert said.
"I must say, your dad's rival spraying pepper spray on Roy's face, that's something my dad would do in case I was chased down by a criminal with malicious motives," Phillip Schrute commented, interrupting Phillip Halpert at the time.
"Thank you for that," Phillip Halpert said. "As I was saying, after removing the personal obstacles they faced, they got together and became a one true-loving pair."
"Sounds like they had to fight their way out of their relationships before your parents got together," Jay said with a smile.
"Yeah, you're right about that. I honestly gotta thank my dad's rival though. If it weren't for him, my dad wouldn't be alive today," Phillip Halpert said.
"What about you, Schrute? How'd your parents meet?" Jason said.
"How my parents met was not interesting. But the course of their relationship, that's what completely interesting and absurd," Phillip Schrute said.
"Fine. Let's hear it," Jason said.
"Ok. So, my parents were co-workers. My dad was a salesman and my mom was the head of accounting when they first met. They had a secret office romance because my mom did not wish to be a subject of scrutiny," Phillip Schrute said.
"That's nice. I mean, I can relate to your mom on keeping a relationship secret," Jay said.
"Thank you for that. As I was saying, my parents went through a lot in their relationship. Though a few people knew, they didn't bring it up in public, which was a relief. And my parents' story is somewhat similar to that of Jason's and Halpert's here, but different in a way," Phillip Schrute said.
"Sounds interesting. Continue," Jason said.
"Well, my mom and dad had their first break up because my dad was misguided into killing my mom's favorite cat named Sprinkles. Afterwards, my dad was in a huge depression when my mom broke up with him. To get back at my dad, my mom started dating this idiot named Andy, who went to Cornell. They were engaged at one point," Phillip Schrute said.
"Sounds like my dad's heartbreak, but different in a way. Go on, it's interesting," Cecelia said.
"Yeah. But my mom went behind Andy and cheated on him with my dad. That was before they were married. Their affair was found out by this elder woman named Phyllis, a former colleague of theirs. Anyway, Phyllis told the entire office about the affair after blackmailing my mom, but didn't tell Andy. When Andy found out from his boss, who was admired by my dad, Andy challenged my dad for my mom's hand in a relationship. When both of them realized they were cheated on, they broke up with my mom," Phillip Schrute said.
"Ouch. That's gotta hurt. Considering what she did to those two guys," Astrid joked.
"Thank you for that," Phillip Schrute sarcastically said.
"Dude, chill. She was just joking," Jay said.
"Well, you're about to hear the absurd part. When my parents still remained friends, my dad dated Addison's mom. Well, she's somewhat like my dad in personality, just more perkier in thought. They met a wedding, actually. When my dad was feeling lonely, he realized he wanted a child. Rather than adopt, which is frowned in Schrute culture, he went for a child-rearing contract with my mom. Guess who was the baby?" Phillip Schrute said.
"No fucking way! Your mom and dad had a child-rearing contract and that's how you came into this world?" Phillip Halpert said.
"Yup. When my dad met Addison's mom again, my dad tried voiding the contract, so he can date her. But my mom didn't give in. She was going to sue him at small claims court. Then they had a mediator, who found the contract quite solid. But he pointed out that it is illegal to force two people to procreate. Rather than have my mom settle for $30,000 from my dad for breaching the contract, he agreed for 5 sessions of intercourse, which I found appalling," Phillip Schrute said.
Everyone was bewildered at this. They wondered if Phillip was truly raised with love.
"What happened afterwards?" Phillip Halpert said with concern.
"Well, they did have the sessions. But my mom voided the contract when she met former Senator Robert Lipton. You know, the homosexual senator of Pennsylvania?" Phillip Schrute said.
"Wait, I remember him. He was a strong figure in the LGBTQ community. And I remember the fact that Senator Oscar Martinez won the Senate election against him. He was closeted back then, right?" Jay said.
"Correct. Well, a month before Senator Lipton and my mom got married, I was conceived. My dad didn't seem to care for me much until he thought I was his son, based on a tip-off. My mom denied that at the time. He organized a free family photo studio for his office colleagues, but the reason he held it was to get my DNA sample for a paternity test. But my mom was a smart woman. She botched the paternity test. When my mom found out Senator Lipton had an affair with Oscar Martinez, she nearly had Oscar killed, but my dad stopped her. When my dad was dating this farmer named Esther Bruegger, whose daughter turns out to be my younger brother's girlfriend, my mom was heavily jealous. When my dad promoted Regional Manager of the branch he worked in, he was engaged to Esther at one point. But, my mom, whose life took a downward spiral after her divorce from Senator Lipton, brought me to her workplace when I was an infant. I don't know if this is unusual, but my dad noticed signs of my extreme intelligence. He told me that I picked a beet over a check for a million dollars as part of a game. He was convinced that I was his son. When my dad asked if I was his son, my mom told him it wasn't the case. My dad was pretty conflicted. He usually goes for the logical choice, but he felt his heart didn't lead him there. His assistant, who was his former rival, told him to put aside logic and do what's right. After my dad proposed to my mom, she admitted that I was his son, much to his joy. She told him the news to test out his love for her. And they got together, happy as they can be. When Esther's family found out about his engagement to my mom, they were enraged and shunned him for 5 years. When they found out I was the reason my dad chose Angela over Esther, the Schrute and Brugger families reconciled. They also accepted my mom and I, realizing that my dad's more happy with the family he has today," Phillip Schrute narrated.
"Overall, it was kind of touching," Phillip Halpert genuinely said. "For a second, it was sort of awkward. But when you explained the end, it was really touching."
"Thanks. I guess. While I do love my parents, I tend to not follow Schrute tradition. I had to learn 40 rules at the age of five. One rule which was the most interesting was never turn your back on bears, men who you've wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season. I get the part to not turn your back on bears or men who I've wronged, but where does the turkey fit in?" Phillip Schrute said with humor.
Everyone laughed at Phillip Schrute's remark over the rule.
"What about you, Jay? You got a story about your family?" Phillip Halpert said.
"Actually, I do. My dad's from India. He had a Ph.D. in Statistics from the University of Delhi. He worked an accounting firm in Malibu. Then he met this Indian-American woman with white heritage who was a Yale-educated doctor in Beverly Hills. Turns out they were mutually attracted to one another and they fell in love. It's somewhat routine. They got married, my elder sister was born and I came into existence 3 years after my sister was born. If I have something interesting about my parents and extended family is that my parents and my paternal aunt haven't been on mutual speaking terms. So he renounced his birth surname and took up my mom's maiden name as a show of solidarity," Jay said.
"Why would your parents and your aunt not be on speaking terms?" Emily asked.
"Excellent question. My aunt is this jealous sibling to my brother. When she found out my father married an Indian with American heritage, she was enraged. She spoke ill of my mom and that just severed the familial relationship between them. My paternal grandparents also tried to fix it, but to no avail. Despite having contempt for my parents, she felt regretful of the way she acted. When my sister and I were born, she took an genuine interest in both of us. Though she wouldn't talk to my parents, she would talk to us. It was awkward, but we came to understand the reason for it. She wanted us to be careful with relationships by not making the same mistakes my dad and she made, especially with family and loved ones," Jay said.
"Woah. That's some deep stuff. You mind if I ask which ethnicities you comprise of?" Phillip Schrute asked. "I seriously mean that in a curious way."
"Since you put it that way, I'm quarter-Telugite, quarter-Greek, and half-Tamilian," Jay said.
"I have a question. What's the difference between Telugite and Tamilians?" Jason asked.
"Telugites speak the language Telugu. Fun fact, they're usually all-rounders in physical attraction, intelligence, and versatility in any subject. More so than people from North India. My maternal grandpa was a Telugite, who fell in love with a Greek woman. Both of them studied in the States. They studied at Stanford, which was really surprising. Tamilians speak the language Tamil. They're often considered studious, but they know how to have a good time socially. Plus, they're somewhat pretentious. In case you're wondering, my dad isn't pretentious," Jay answered.
"Wow. Huh. That's something new we didn't know about. We assumed you speak Hindi," Phillip Schrute said.
"That's a common misconception. About 40% of South Indians in the Bay Area don't speak Hindi," Jay said.
"That makes sense. What about you, Astrid? Any story about your family worth listening to?" Jason said.
"Well, my mom raised me single-handedly. I'm from Scranton, by the way. I didn't have a dad in my life. He wasn't there in my life. So, I can say my mom's my only family," Astrid said.
"Your mom raised you as a single parent? That's gotta be a lot of work," Jason said.
"Yeah, but she had some friends who helped her out," Astrid claimed.
"What about you, Addison?" Phillip Halpert said.
"Well, my parents' story is just nothing unique. Same old love story. Love at first sight, date, propose, get married, and have kids. But my mom's a dental hygienist from Carbondale and my dad was a lawyer specializing in sexual assault cases. They met at a bar, which is kind of amusing," Addison said.
"Wow. Gotta tell you. After we talked about our parents and all, I say we gotten to know each other," Jay said. "I think you guys are more interesting than I thought y'all would be."
"I have to say, it was really nice getting to know you guys. I honestly think we'll have a good time," Phillip Halpert said.
Just as they were happily discussing, Coach Larson made an announcement.
"All right! It's time to start practice. Let's get going!" Coach Larson shouted.
"That's our call. Let's go, guys," Jason said.