It was Maggie`s official first day back at work, almost a week since Jackson moved out. She hadn't spoken to him and he hadn't called as well. It's not like she was afraid or anything but she was just getting annoyed with the stares and the way people were speaking to her. They were all trying to be extra nice and it was driving her insane even though she didn't let it out. She was in the attendings lounge while chatting with Meredith about the conference and how Amelia had hooked up with Link, she got a page and informed Meredith she needed to go. The consult was for Dr Carr a psychiatrist that worked upstairs. He had presented with shortness of breath, leg swelling, and sinus tachycardia. The CT scan showed a 24-inch blood clot extending from his right iliac vein to his heart. They tried to treat the clot with TPA (Tissue plasminogen activator) but due to its size, Maggie decided on an open thromboembolectomy for later. She texted Meredith letting her know that Dr Carr was in the hospital. Dr Carr had helped Meredith when she was attacked by a patient sometime back and she had formed a strong bond with him. Maggie finished with her rounds, she hadn't seen Jackson at all and she wondered in her mind if this was a good or a bad thing. She just wanted to work today and she didn't want to think about her relationship at all. She knew deep down that at some point she would have to face her issues with him but for now all she wanted was to work and she didn't want any destruction. She walked to her lab to see if everything was still in place checking her work on the rechargeable hearts. She didn't have a lot ahead because most consults had turned out not to be cardio. She started reading about Dr Carr`s condition to prepare for the surgery when something suddenly clicked. She quickened her steps and within a minute she was in Carr`s room.
"Dr. Carr I wanted to discuss your procedure Dr. Grey, are you consulting, as well?"

"No, she's not, she can stay and please call me Walter, and, uh, she can hear whatever it is you need to tell me" Maggie shot her sister with a stare who just shrugged her shoulders like a little girl

"Sure, Dr-I mean Walter, instead of opening up your chest; I want to use something called the Angio Vac. It's essentially a vacuum that we attach to your blood vessels so it sucks the clot out rather than cutting"

"I've never heard of that" Meredith said
"It is on the newer side" Maggie said giving her sister the look again, she turned her head and faced Walter while putting her hands in her white coat and said "it would greatly reduce your risk of complications, which are potentially severe with a clot of this size. So, if you want to think it over, talk to your family or anything now it's the time"

"No need my wife's..." before he could finish his sentence he started coding and they immediately wheeled him for the procedure

...

"Do you think this technique will work?" Meredith asked during the procedure.
"Walter's age and blood pressure would make an open surgery too dangerous. I don`t have much experience with this technique but if it works he will be out of here within a week"

"Well, that is assuring"

"He must have showered small emboli to his lungs, hadn't we been with him when the clot broke, he'd be dead by now. Didn't know you were still doing therapy"

"I am not, we just check up on each other, like friends. He is a great listener"

"Well that`s sort of what he gets paid to do" Maggie said

...

The surgery had gone great, Maggie and Meredith stayed in Walter`s room with Meredith asking her sister about Jackson. The two talked at length without realising that Walter was awake. Meredith's pager went off and off she left to where she was needed. Maggie sat there for a few minutes until Walter called her.

"Maggie, you are here"

"Yeah Meredith thought it would be nice if someone was here when you woke up, she just got paged"

"Yeah I know, I heard the two of you going on and on, so tell me about you"

"You need to take it easy Walter, you just had a complicated procedure and you need to take it easy"

"Come on Maggie, humour me"

"Is this really what you want to do right now?"

"If you escaped death, wouldn't you want to know if you could still operate, you just saved my life so don't you think it would be great if you went a little further and helped me see if I can still do my job?"

Maggie smiled taking a seat on the corner of his bed. There was no way he was going to let her off easily and she figured she had nothing to lose so she went along his plan. Maggie told him all that she had gone through and how it was affecting those around her. She told him from how he had lost her grandparents to nearly losing her dad just over a year after losing her mum. This was a lot and she had no idea on how to deal with all of it. She told him about what had recently happened as well. Somehow she was able to tell Dr Carr everything, even the things he hadn't told the police or anyone else

"So you think if you tell him things won't be the same"

"Why are you asking about him, I haven't told anyone yet?"

"You don`t have problems relating with everyone else but him"

"Because I feel like he is hovering, it`s like he wants me to flip a switch and be magically okay" Maggie said rubbing her hands "I am not ready for any emotional or physical intimacy with him and I don`t know if he can be patient with all that, my sisters on the other hand will always be there"

"So now you believe it's best to isolate yourself" she nodded her head "do you feel helpless or should I say hopeless?"

"Yeah considering what happened would you blame me? I am frustrated, I am angry, I am confused and I am sad. My anxiety is just another story on its own. Jackson and I didn't even have an argument, he just pointed something that I did and before I knew it turned into this whole big thing with him moving out. I know I should tell him everything so I can deal with this as you said, I mean I am staying at his place when he is staying at some hotel and right now I have no idea of where he is because I haven't seen or spoken to him since I told him I needed space"

"Okay Maggie, I know I said you will need to tell him but here is the thing. What you are going through is normal for someone who has been through all this. You shouldn't feel bad with how you feel, it's okay to even think moving in together was a mistake"

"Then why do I feel like I am being unfair to him"

"Because you feel guilty about not telling him, you are second guessing yourself that is why you also feel like moving in was a mistake" Maggie rolled her eyes "tell me, had he asked you under different circumstances, would you have said yes?"

"I don't know" Carr looked with inquisitive eyes without saying anything "I think I would have said yes" Maggie said with a cautious smile

"There you have it, listen Maggie you feel that way because you are going through something that can cause damage or even end a relationship if left unaddressed. You are probably scared that your relationship might end. I have often had partners of people with trauma in my office. They feel completely frustrated and alone, not knowing how to make their partner feel better or what to do to save the relationship. They will try to "make it all better" by doing things they think will help the person heal. The fact is healing from trauma takes time because the brain needs time to process traumatic information. You have two people in a relationship who both want the same things: to heal and make the relationship healthy but they have no idea how to accomplish either"

Maggie sat there quietly taking in all that Walter was saying. He sure was a good listener and it all made sense to her on why Mere kept in touch with him.

"Tell me this, do you want your relationship to work or better yet do you think he wants it to work?"

"I don`t know if he will want this to work after everything, I want it to work because I love him. I really -really do, I have never loved anyone the way I love him. I have always had problems in letting my exes fully in but with him its different. I just don`t know what to do"

"Many traumatized people are hesitant to share what they are going through with their loved ones for fear of becoming a burden. The fact is, when you don`t communicate with him, he may feel confused and left out. He may tend to become anxious and can sometimes do things to try to make you feel better but these things may just end up distancing the two of you further. Let him know what you are going through. You don't have to give gory details about what happened but let him know at least. Let him know how you are feeling right now and communicate how he can help. If you need him to just listen, tell him so. If you need guidance and support I am here, I mean I work upstairs.

"Maggie, you know people initially get into a relationship because there are things that draw them to one another. When you are having relationship difficulty related to trauma, the problems that arise can sometimes distract you from what you love about them and why you want to work in the relationship. A relationship can survive trauma if both people are willing to put in the effort it takes to heal"

Maggie sat there as she continued her conversation with Walter until Meredith came from a long surgery. She said her goodbye to Walter since he now had company and it was almost time for her shift to be over. She said nothing but just that there was something she needed to do to which Walter just gave her a smile of approval.

...

Maggie was pacing back and forth in the living room, she was so anxious because Jackson had agreed to meet her over an hour ago. She had made dinner and set the table with candles and everything. She heard the knock at the door and rolled her eyes, she had told Amelia that today she needed to talk with Jackson. What could possibly be wrong that she would come over when she specifically asked her not to? Those were questions she had as she went to open the door, to her surprise Jackson was the one at the door. She hadn't seen or talked to him in the last few days and for a moment she froze. He was standing there wearing a black coat with his hands in his pockets. Maggie on the other hand was wearing a pinkish top with a little skirt. He checked her out from top to bottom while she just stood there without inviting him in. It was as if they were undressing each other with their eyes until Jackson said

"Are you going to let me in?"

"Oh sorry, of course, please come on in" she said moving away while letting him in. I mean this man is knocking in his own house and he is even asking if I can let him in. This is his house. Maggie slowly closed the door behind him while he took off his coat hanging it on the side. He looked over at the dining table and saw that Maggie had set dinner but she had ended up switching off the candles because he was late. He turned to her as he waited for her to lead him wherever she wanted.

"I am so sorry I am late, I spent the day with Harriet today and when I was I driving back from April`s, there was an accident so I stayed trying to help"

"Please do not apologize, its okay. How's she?"

"She is great, I mean she asked about you" Maggie dropped her head, looked on the side as if she was looking for an explanation and trying to come up with the right words with her hands still holding the door handle while her back was on the door "don`t worry I made up some story about how you had to work"

"Thank you" she led them to go sit down in the living room. They stayed silent for a while with no one saying anything. She broke the silence by trying to offer him something to drink. She was nervous, she had planned how this was going to go but seeing Jackson every plan she had went through out the window. This was turning out to be like a bad first date.

"Maggie"

"Hmmm"

"You said you wanted to talk. I came here because you called"

"Right" she said sitting down away from him "I am sorry I am just-, look Jackson, I know I haven't been fair to you since everything happened. You have been nothing but gracious throughout even though I have been pushing you away" Jackson said nothing but looked at Maggie who was rubbing her hands together

"I had this patient today; he helped Mer when she got attacked, we kind of talked today. His name is Dr Carr, he works at the hospital, and he is a psychiatrist"

"Okay, I am not sure I am following"

"There is something you need to know about that day" she started getting teary "I shut you out because I felt like I was a burden to you and the more you tried to make me feel better the harder it was for me, I am afraid you might not look at me the same way after I tell you this" she paused trying to compose herself because she was choking in her words and Jackson moved closer to her. He could see that she was struggling

"Hey, it`s okay, you can talk to me" he rubbed her back in circular motions with his hand

"After the savage guy I mentioned came in, something happened or something nearly happened" she was now not sure if she should continue, Jackson embraced her so she could just let it out "he started saying he was going to be a gentleman about it and he was going to let me choose. At first I thought he meant how I was going to die but then he –he..."Jackson felt his heart drop, he had thought of the worst things that could have happened to Maggie but he wasn't sure if he was ready to hear what was about to come out of her mouth. He could tell that her anxiety was getting the better of her. He pulled her closer and said "it`s okay, you are safe now" Maggie let out a big sigh to catch her breath.

"He started touching my hair going down to my shoulder cupping my cheeks. He said I should tell him how I liked it and he was going to give just what the doctor ordered. He started unzipping his pants; he pushed them down while still waving his gun. I couldn't scream and that was when the other one suddenly walked in, that is why they started struggling" Jackson couldn't help it as his tears welled down his cheeks while he still held on to her. He had no words, his thoughts raced through his head; he was angry and frustrated at the same time. Maggie stopped, got off his embrace and saw his face filled with tears. He could see the anger boiling in his eyes, his eyes were now a different kind of gray she couldn't recognize, he had never seen him like that. She looked to the ground hoping he will say something but there were no words from him.

"I am going to do therapy to try and get better because I really want us to work. I don`t know if that`s what you want with everything that's happened. I know I should have talked to you and I am sorry, I didn`t mean to hurt you because I love you" he wiped her right eye that had a tear falling off. She was there being vulnerable; she had always had a hard time in expressing herself. He knew at that moment that she needed him to give her some kind of reassurance. She had never let anyone love her or let them in without it feeling like it was the end of the world. He put his arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer to him.

"Hey, it's okay and of course I want us to work, you don't have to apologize for reacting the way you did because of what happened to you. None of it was your fault, you didn't ask for it and you shouldn't feel bad for dealing with it the way you did. I am so sorry that you had to go through that alone, I know I was trying too hard to fix us but I realize now I was probably making it worse and for that I apologize" she turned to face him after hearing him. This man was just perfect and she had no idea what she had done to deserve him. He had been patient, understanding and heck everything that she could have ever imagined

"I made you move out of your own place and now it's affecting how you are spending time with your daughter. When I got with you, the one thing I told myself was to never ever get in between you and Harriet"

"Babe, I love you and I will do anything for you; always remember that. Nothing will ever change my love for you. Also this is not my place, it's our place. Can we not worry about other things right now, I mean we are here we are talking so it's a good thing right?"

"Yeah it is a good thing, I am sorry I never asked you, do you need to be somewhere right now?"

"No, I mean even if I had I would rather be here with you" he said as he smiled at Maggie "how are you" she asked looking kindly at her

"I am okay now, and I will be okay" she smiled at him as she curled on his shoulder

"Sorry about the dinner?" he said kissing the top of her head

"It`s okay" she responded reluctantly

"Hey, I am glad you told me" she pulled her off his shoulder "I love you so much Maggie Pierce" he said to her with their eyes interlocked

"And I love you too Jackson Avery" she said with a big smile on her face as they kept gazing at each other. There was this thing about his eyes that always made her feel safe but at the same time weak on her knees. As their faces drew closer he was uncertain enough to think she might not be there yet. He enjoyed just being close to her and for him that was more than enough. He moved his hand and stroked her face softly, caressing it with infinite soothing and assurance; he leaned over and planted a soft touch of a kiss on her forehead. He drew away for a second and played with her curls, he started feeling hot all around so he knew he had to stop. He stood slowly still staring at her, he started making his way to the kitchen area but Maggie was right behind her, she pulled him back and stood on her tippy toes. She put her hands on his cheeks as she usually did, she kissed him passionately. He felt like he was dreaming, she wanted him more than he had thought. He looked at her one more time and this time kissed her again with greater confidence. No words were exchanged after as the tension made all the talking; he lowered her top and started planting kisses on her shoulder stroking a part of her neck, he breathed some hot air on it as he continued to shower kisses on the neck. He knew his way around her body that it was driving Maggie crazy with pleasure. He continued while blowing hot air near her ear slowly pushing her until her back was to the wall. She felt the soft, groping, helplessly desirous hand touching her body. She had not realized how much he had missed his touch, his smell, his kisses and how she usually got lost in all of it. For a moment she forgot all her problems as she got lost in his sensation. He was taking his time like a gentleman he is, Maggie was going wild with all this that she ripped his shirt off. Jackson moved his hand to down under her skirt and slowly slid her panties off. Maggie couldn't help but mourn as she felt his fingers around her wet spot. He leaned into her ear and whispered "damn babe you are so wet, wanted to take that skirt off from the moment you opened that door" He got down and started licking her down under, his tongue sent shivers up her spine. He sucked her clit and Maggie felt helpless, she ran her hands through his head as she moaned. He enjoyed it more when she lost control of herself; it gave him pleasure. He moved up and started kissing her as he unbuckled his belt, pulling his pants down and kicking them off. He unzipped her skirt sliding it down while Maggie removed her top; with her back against the wall he lifted her leg with one hand under her thigh and the other boxing her in, he slowly entered her with his eyes straight into hers, once inside he held her up as his hands groped her ass. He began going slowly as if he was teasing her until Maggie couldn't take the teasing anymore, she continued with her moans closing her eyes but Jackson requested her to keep her eyes open. He wanted to watch her and take her in with everything he had. Maggie couldn't help it any more as she yelled out how she was about to come and coincidentally he was also on his way to climax so they both twitched and moaned as they came nearly at the same time. They stayed like that for a while as it had been long since they had connected like that; he never got out of her as he carried her to lie on the couch.

"I missed you, I forget how much of a screamer you are" he said teasing her while he played with her curls while she lay on top of him. She slowly pulled back so as to let him slowly get out of her and faced him while giving him a warm smile that showed that she was content , he was everything a girl could ask for and said "I missed you too and welcome home"