Journal 3 - Alone Together
It's taken a conscious effort to keep the little voice inside of me tangled within my own haki presence. It's the idle moments, in between storms and excitement on board the ship. The times where I find myself with nothing to do, I end up laying in the grass or sitting in the aquarium room, just examining the spark. Marveling at the life growing inside of me. Ever since I had heard Luffy's nickname for it - Baby Bread, I had taken to calling it BB.
The few days that have passed since Thriller Bark have been relatively slow. Well, as slow as it can be on the Grand Line. We all celebrated Brook's addition to the crew as pirates should, with a feast large enough to feed an army (i.e. enough food to feed two Luffy's). The party lasted well into the early hours of the morning, ending with the soft strings of Brook's violin echoing across the water.
After that night, introducing the skeleton to the impromptu sleepovers that have become a ritual of sorts. Sleeping in a pile of limbs and pillows on the grass and staring up at the stars with blankets covering nearly the entire deck. Brook began to nervously flutter around the ship. He sent days following one of us around, or obsessively asking if there was anything he could do to help.
One evening, I was just sitting in the library and he nervously stopped in front of me. I could feel his conflicted emotions and let him just sit, gathering his thoughts. He was right where I was months ago. Unsure of his place in the crew.
I knew he had been going around to everyone, asking how they had joined or how they met Luffy. He was worried because out of everyone he had talked to so far, they were all invited (i.e. bullied/ forced/ blackmailed) to join by Luffy himself. His fears stemming from his request to join.
I felt bad for him, he had spent so much time alone… fifty long years with nothing but the bones of his Nakama. It wasn't surprising that he was a bit anxious about being around people again. Wishing to cement his place, afraid of being alone once again. So, I told him a story.
A childhood tale that Vivi had first told me just a few days before she gave me my name. She wasn't the best storyteller at the time, at barely ten years old the story she had woven was more like a mix of fantasy and adventure, I'm pretty sure she had added the huge cat warrior just for the fun of it.
The King had told me the actual tale a few days later. The story of Alabasta and the gods that had built it. The story that grew in length each year, the country's greatest achievements and history, added as time passed. I am pretty sure that it was the only country in the world that still had a history spanning the void century. As a verbal retelling, even when the world government had blacklisted and blocked out everything in the written word nothing could stop the spoken word. Nowadays the story was passed down secretly, or only the 'safe' versions told out in the open.
I don't think anyone on the crew could understand the importance of their fight for us was. They wouldn't know how monumental it was for them to be added to the history of the country for evermore, never to be forgotten.
Brook more than enjoyed the tale. Gasping at all the right parts, and nearly in tears for most of it.
"You're not the only to have asked Brook" I gave him a soft smile. "I marched up to their rooms while they were in the middle of packing to leave. It was the middle of the night." I laughed, thinking back to their startled faces when I had opened the door. Usopp had still been in his pj's, Chopper was trying to stuff his new books into his small bag. Luffy, mouth full with leftover dinner.
"I was nervous as hell, but Luffy had just smiled. He asked me if I had a dream, and that of course I would be welcome. Hell, Robin hadn't even asked to join. She had stowed away on the ship and demanded that Luffy take responsibility for beating up her boss and leaving her job-less."
I could feel Robin's amusement from down on the deck, no doubt having used her Devil Fruit to listen in on the conversation. Brook was startled, but gave himself a sad chuckle.
"Talk to Luffy" I suggested, before he could say anything. "You had already joined the first moment Luffy set eyes on you. Finding out that you were a musician was just icing on the cake."
Later that night, the slow ballad of Bink's Sake echoed across the still waters. I could feel his content and happiness spread through the ship, infecting everyone's moods. It was the perfect way to end a relaxing day. As the winds picked up I could feel Luffy's smirk as his excitement took new heights. It was time to continue onto our next adventure.
No one brought up the … issue - problem - surprise of me being pregnant. The shocking and unfortunate reveal by Kuma hadn't even been whispered amongst the Thriller Bark survivors. Though I was sure that at least a few of them were close enough to the short battle to overhear… but not a word had been spoken - at least not within my vicinity. And other than a few small changes I've noticed, it was like no one on the crew even knew.
Cups of sake or beer were subtly kept out of my sight, new tea and coffee brands made their way into my hands. The lack of caffeine was still notable, but it was nice to keep the routine in the mornings. Also the lack of night watch shifts, Nami not saying a word each week when she posts the 'chore chart', or Usopp's usual casual complaints about having shifts two nights in a row.
I admit that I myself hadn't brought it up to anyone. I was just… just scared I guess. Scared to admit it out loud to everyone. It was an open secret, I couldn't ignore the checkups and the questions that Chopper regularly peppered me with. But there was a little part of me that just thought. If we didn't talk about it. I wouldn't have to deal with it.
It was one thing to think, OH i'll just have the baby and have someone else take care of it. It's a whole other ballgame to be the one that's actually pregnant. Unable to keep that blossoming HopeLoveAstonishment that had gripped at my heart and was refusing to let go.
Chopper keeps telling me not to stress out, that I have to keep my blood pressure down. Easy enough for him to say. There's just too many variables, too many things to think about, and it was driving me nuts.
According to Nami's maps, the end of paradise is about a month of travel away. This of course not including any adventures that Luffy will no doubt get us into, or islands that we'll need to stop at for supplies. So, doing the math - if Chopper estimated me at about 25 weeks along, that left 4 months or 15 weeks until the birth. If we take, let's just say eight weeks to get to Sabaody that still leaves seven weeks until the birth, or hope that the baby decides to come early.
With all honestly, my first choice would be to leave the baby with Vivi in Alabasta. A safe, now stable county. Living at the palace under the care of the royal family, with Chaka and Pell as Uncles. There's no safer place in my option. But it's much too late to turn around, it would be at least a four month journey if I could get Vivi to mail us an Eternal Pose. Then another five or so months to travel back to where we started. No, it didn't sit right with me if we had to add almost an entire year to the journey.
Alternatively I had a few contacts on Sabaody that owed me some favours. FUCK…. It filled me with more than enough dread knowing that everyone was so excited to get to the end of the Grand Line. Out of everyone I think only Franky and Robin knew of the Archipelago, the last stop in Paradise. The Gateway to Mariejois, home of the Marine headquarters and home to some of the worst humans in the world.
The one place that I never wanted to return to. Not since I first ran away from the orphanage on the edge of the lawless zone. The slavers that haunted the back alleyways and 'families' that 'adopted' kids.
No, there was no way I was leaving the baby there. Without even taking into account the amount of rumors and Marine activity that had been growing in the area. Contacts or no, I hope we spend as little amount of time on the island as possible.
Fishman Island is thousands of meters under the ocean's surface, and a Whitebeard protected island to boot. If there was anywhere, it'd be there that we'd be able to get in contact with Ace or a Whitebeard pirate. They should have at least one or two 'representatives' on the island for communication purposes.
Hell, they might even have a home base somewhere for family members of the crew that would be willing to take the baby. Even if Ace wanted nothing to do with BB he wasn't the type of person to refuse help. If anything I could go right to Whitebeard and ask him directly.
So yeah, my head's been a bit overly crowded lately.
Zoro and Sanji were out sparring on deck when Nami finally burst. The two of them had been going at each other's throats for days. Sanji had finally gotten the Marine technique Geppo under control, and had taken to propelling himself into the air at random times just to get on Zoro's nerves. Then, with Zoro getting better and better with her armament Haki that he had started trying to knock Sanji out of the sky. Which just turned into all out brawls at all times of the day.
Nami had been working with me on her observation, honing the senses and not letting it give her a headache. Just as I thought her Haki was focused on the usual enhances but the constant bursts of power and distractions from the two men were wearing on her control and patience. I was proud of her lasting a few days until finally giving in.
"That's it!" She burst into the kitchen, pamphlet in hand and marched up to Luffy. "We're going here. I've had enough of those two at each other's throats!" She threw a hand out towards the deck, where a small explosion wafted a breeze through the door.
Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, Brook and I all lent over each other to get a look at what Nami had put down. A blue tri-folded piece of paper advertising Spa Island - the 'Best Spa on this half of the Grand Line!'
Noises of appreciation and interest erupted from Usopp, Chopper and Luffy.
"Looks like fun!" Luffy grinned, eyes glued to the multiple water slides and wave pools pictured.
Robin grinned, from over her book. "Sounds like we all deserve a bit of a vacation."
I was very surprised to learn that chlorine treated water and freshwater did not react to Devil Fruit users like salt water did. We still sink like a rock, but it doesn't rob us of our strength or cause paralysis. Bathing on board Sunny wasn't the easiest still, the water was treated but not to the extent of using chlorine. So, I was very much excited to try out the various bathing pools and spa treatments. Chopper had forbidden me from using any of the hot tubs or saunas, but the resort had many more different things to try.
Uncomfortable with wearing a bikini, especially one that was in Robin or Nami's collection. I had opted to wear a tank top and swim shorts. The resort wasn't that busy, and according to the manager we were the only pirate crew staying with them at the moment. I was more surprised that they were fine with us being pirates, though we did have to agree to their policy and allow extra security for the civilians.
Nami trusted Robin, Brook and I to keep ourselves from accidentally drowning, while making Chopper wear a pair of children's water wings and forcing two inner tubes onto Luffy. Usopp was blackmailed-ordered to stick close to them and make sure they don't drown.
I was having a nice and relaxing time, lying on an inner tube as it drifted down the lazy river. The resort was built like a circular tower with a large deck sitting high in the sky. Water slides and pools scattered around the deck with ample space for chairs to catch the sun's rays. All of the hotel rooms were in the main body of the tower, it even had underwater viewing decks below the surface and close to the ocean floor. We could have stayed on the ship, a portion of the lower tower was made into a large deck bay, but Nami had wanted to get the full Spa Island experience and got three rooms for everyone to share.
With a cold juice in my hands and the sun beating down on my skin, I was more than happy to not move a single muscle. BB was dozing, doing what fetuses do in the womb. It still shocked me, I can stand in front of the mirror staring at the faintest of bumps sitting just under my belly button. There's no way anyone would ever think from just looking that I was pregnant. My flexibility was shot to all hell, and I could feel the firm wall just under my skin, but other than a few extra pounds to my weight there were no signs. Still, I didn't feel comfortable taking even the slightest chance, and was very thankful for the loose cover-up that Nami had bought for me to go over my tank top.
Everyone else was enjoying themselves immensely, Robin and Nami were sitting under the shade of some umbrellas, sipping cocktails. Usopp, Luffy and Chopper were running around, trying all of the different slides and water attractions. Zoro was in one of the hot bathing areas, and Franky had said something about checking out the hot soda bath - which just seemed like a weird type of bath to have a resort, but Brook was enjoying the milk bath so I guess they were popular. Sanji was just a few feet ahead of me on the lazy river.
Nami's call across the park signalled lunch, but I had no desire to exit the river. Sanji was nice enough to hand me a sandwich as I floated past their table area. I noticed that two little girls had joined most of the group for the meal but didn't think much of it until I was on the other side of the resort and an explosion rocked the tower.
The civilian patrons around me started to panic and run towards the exits. Screams of fear and terror echoed through the air as they clogged the elevators and stairwells. I watched with an irritated glance, as more explosions kicked up debris and dust. Luffy was as carefree and light hearted as always, just grinning as he caused mass destruction.
This was fine and all but couldn't we have had more than a day and a half of relaxation?
From what I could see and sense Luffy and the others had everything well under control, not even Nami was freaking out. So I just pinged Usopp to confirm and yep - as I floated back by the table Nami was sitting with her head in her hands a deep sigh rushing past her lips.
"What's up Nami?" I asked
Robin, who hadn't looked up from a small book in her hands smirked.
"We really can't go anywhere with these boys. Someone just needs to start trouble and make an annoyance of themselves' ' one of the little girls who had been eating lunch with them just watched the destruction with wide shocked eyes.
"Looks like they have it all well in hand" I sighed and swiped another glass of juice from the table. "Let me know when we need to make a quick get away." and continued on the lazy journey once again.
I have to say, it was nice to be on the sidelines for once, I had learnt later that it was the foxy-bastard that was trying to stir up some trouble, along with the manager of the resort just trying to make more money.
Luffy ended up destroying the entire tower. My insight didn't even bother trying to let me know, as most of us were still on the deck when Luffy's engorged foot slammed through metal and concrete like it was butter. It was only luck that I hadn't lost the innertube during the fall to the ocean, but it was annoying that Franky had to hoist me up onto Sunny's deck by the tube - Chopper was too overprotective to let me use the ladder to climb up on my own.
All in all, it was a nice stay and who says a bit of excitement and causal destruction of property isn't good for the soul.
"Are we not going to talk about it?"
I looked up from my bowl of ice cream, liberally slathered in fruits and cream. Zoro was laying back in his chair, a few bandages still peeking out from under his shirt. His sharp gaze flickering from Me to Luffy - who tilted his head in confusion upon being addressed. Half of a bone still being chewed between his teeth.
Anyone who didn't know him would have said that Zoro looked angry, or annoyed. Not the ExpectantPatientCarefulWorry that I could sense. Many wouldn't have been able to pick up on his shifting body language, eyebrows that betrayed the sharpness of his eyes, or the subtle bounce of his knee that let out the sliver of anxiousness and awkwardness hiding beneath his calm. There was no other moment than right now that he properly looked like a first mate, the rock to everyone's crazy.
I wasn't surprised that he was going to be the first one to bring it up.
The post-dinner buzz of conversation died quickly, eyes flickering from me to Zoro to Luffy. The tension in the air filled with worry and uncertainty. Too many things were running through my Nakama's minds, their rushing emotions creating a tangle of pressure against my skull.
Sanji lowered the dishes he had been cleaning, Brook slowly put down his violin, Nami signing and taking a deep breath. Usopp and Chopper anxious glances around the room, Robin hiding her worry well, while it seemed like Franky was the only one not affected other than Luffy, just curious.
"What about?" Asked Luffy in all his carefree mannerisms.
"Chopper already told us that what Kuma said was true. You're pregnant."
The cream felt like it was curdling in my stomach, everyone's awkwardness and uncertainty filled the room.
"Oh, baby bread?" Luffy asked with exciting eyes. "Yeah Shi already explained all of that." He waved it off like he was talking about the birds in the sky.
An awkward silence descended the room… no one wanted to bring it up. So I plucked up my courage.
"I offered to leave-"
"NO!" Luffy shot up from his chair, startling everyone. "We've already talked about it, Shi is not leaving!"
"Ok" breathed Nami, nodding at Luffy then turning to me. The question in her eyes, the worry that Luffy might be forcing the decision.
"I don't want to retire so soon." I assured her. "I've thought alot about it… and while I'd prefer to leave it with Vivi in Alabasta, it's not feasible to turn around so late in the journey. So if we come across a safe island, I will leave it with someone there."
"Ah, If you don't mind me asking Shi-san" Brook raised his hand "What about leaving the little one with its father?"
"Ace doesn't know" grinned Luffy.
Nami and I simultaneously sighed as Usopp was the first to react, smacking his forehead with an open palm. Chopper wasn't surprised, I had told him earlier during one of my checkups.
Robin just smirked knowingly. Of course she had somehow known, but even Zoro didn't seem fazed. Fuck… did everyone hear… that….us... back in Alabsta? My face flamed, the heat of embarrassment flashing down my neck. The awkward vision of Zoro staring up at the stars, while the quiet sounds of Ace and I were in the background.
Fuck… that's embarissing as all HELL.
Sanji though, had thrown himself over the counter dividing the kitchen and dining area, hands latching onto Luffy and shaking him vigorously. "What the hell did your brother get my sweet Shi-chan into! It's all his fault! That flame bastard! I swear I'll kill him next time I see him! Shi-chan I will gain back your purity and virtue!"
Franky and Brook just looked confused.
"Ace is Luffy's brother" I explained, my cheeks still aflame. "We met him in Alabasta months ago. He's a part of the Whitebeard Pirates"
Franky's eyes widened in recognition, "Fire Fist Ace?!" he whistled, a smirk on his lips "Good on you Sis!"
Zoro coughed, "So, Chopper" he turned to the doctor "how safe is it for Shi to be on the ship?"
"Perfectly safe" He nodded "I'm keeping a close watch on both of their health, and while I don't support any extended strenuous activity. Small fights and exercise are perfectly safe as long as we make sure you don't get any wounds or injuries to the womb area." He sighed, and nearly climbed into my lap "Doctor's ORDERS, once you are further along no more fights!"
"Hai Hai" I nodded quickly, that was reasonable enough. At least I still have my mobility at the moment. Who knew if I was going to blow up like a balloon or not later.
"I was born on a ship in the west blue, spent my early years learning knots before I could walk" Franky Laughed "kids on ships are no issue."
"Still…" I shrugged "The Pirate life isn't something for a baby-"
"Babies can't be pirates" Luffy Parroted.
"We have big dreams and even bigger targets on our back from the Government and the Marines both" not to mention the father, and his father before him… fuck that would be absolute worst case if anyone found out.
"And you're alright with this Shi?" Zoro pulled my attention. "Leaving it behind?"
I took a deep breath, I knew it was coming. And maybe I'm not ready right now…but "I will be."
"Alright" Zoro smiled, comforting and softer than I had ever seen him.
"Yohohoho" Brook cheered "I will immediately begin composing an appropriate melody for the new life we will welcome into the world."
"Only you Shi… really" I heard Usopp mutter under his breath as Sanji began another round of rants against Ace and Luffy continued laughing his head off "I already feel bad for the baby… what a crazy family it'll be born into"
SOMEWHERE ON THE GRAND LINE.
Time had lost any and all meaning.
Each painful breath rattles his lungs. The muscles in his arms painfully stretched around the pillar. Ace swore that he could feel the creek in his bones with every shift of the ship. All in all he felt like one whole bruise.
The sea stone cuffs were making it too hard to concentrate, or that might have just been the concussions and lack of food.
He's been an idiot, that he knew. He underestimated Teach. He should have known that the friendly, easy-going man that he once knew and called brother had tricks up his sleeve. The battle had raged for hours, Ace was sure that the island they had left behind was nothing but a pile of ashes.
He'd been played like an amature. He was a New World Pirate for Davy Jone's sake, one of Whitebeard's Commanders, the strongest crew on the seven seas. Yet here he was, slowly dying, hidden in the bowls of blackbeard's ship.
A single question echoed in between the pain and self loathing.
Why wasn't he dead already?
Ace had fully expected to die on that island. A small piece of him had welcomed the all encompassing darkness that was Teach's Devil Fruit. The chance to meet his mother, and punch the bastard sparkled just within reach. Then it was all ripped away when SomethingSomeoneDarknessBlackWrong grabbed his neck and pulled. The blackness stripped away to the bright afternoon sun, his beaten and bloody body tossed across smooth wooden planks. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. The shock made his limbs shake like he had just walked through a winter island without the warmth of his Devil Fruit. Teach's laughter and wet coughs filled his mind as unconsciousness finally took him.
Teach visited him sometimes, it started with the sarcastic apologies. Smart words trying to manipulate him, turn him against pops and join his crew. Then came the anger.
Ace understood anger. It was impossible not to having lived so close to the Grey Terminal. Teach had a familiar anger, the want, need, greed. The anger of a man who isn't getting what he wants and the power to do whatever he can to get it.
The blows were nothing compared to the main fight, but them on top of the lack of food left Ace a mess of exhaustion. It was now that he was regretting his lack of Observation Haki training. To become a commander he had to at least master one of the two universal powers. Armament came easy, Observation not so much.
Ace's heart ached, Thatch was supposed to help him with his Observation… before his death.
The sounds of creaking wood and footsteps accompanied Teach's descent into the room. His ugly laughter grating on Ace's nerves.
"Well you've left me no other choice Ace-kun" His large yellow teeth bared in a mocking smile as he entered the room, basking the glorified closet with lantern light. "If you won't join me, at least I'll get some use outta you. The Government is down a few Shikiubai, you're little brother's doing apparently. But that means that they are on the hunt for some replacements." His grin seemed to widen, as he bent down to Ace's eye level. A dark shadow cascading around the room, blocking out the light.
Ace bared his teeth, not having the energy to snap back or even growl.
"I wonder how fast they'll let me join if I hand them the Pirate King's son."