The teasing was the worst. And Jim thoroughly enjoyed teasing Pam all day. Now instead of hushed exchanges and stolen glances, they would share knowing looks and taunting winks. It wasn't one sided though. Pam learned very quickly that a bite of her lip would send a flush straight to Jim's cheeks. And she loved slyly leaning forward when he would saunter over to her desk and watch his eyes trail down the opening of her blouse.
It was all fun and games. Until Friday.
On Friday Pam stayed at the office around fifteen minutes late, she had to triple check a report Michael had procrastinated on before faxing it to corporate. Once she was finished, she threw on her coat and locked up the office.
When she opened the door to the parking lot, Roy was standing at her car.
She froze.
She debated turning around and going back inside, maybe waiting him out. But she somehow managed the courage to put one foot in front of the other.
"Hey." He said once she was in ear shot. She tried to read the expression on his face. He didn't seem angry, he also didn't seem calm either. He looked almost, anxious.
"Hey." She replied looking at him briefly, then to her car behind him. He put both of his hands up.
"I'm not here to argue." He said, "I just have some things I gotta say."
She sighed, looking back at him. "Okay."
"I'm sorry." He started. "I'm sorry for what I said on Saturday. And I'm sorry for the way I've treated you." He looked at his hands then. "I miss you, Pam."
For a moment she felt a pang of empathy for him.
"We've been together for so long, I've never come home and not talked to you about our day, or not had dinner together, or fallen asleep watching TV." He looked at her again, his eyes held a sadness she hadn't seen before.
"You were the best part of me, Pam. And I miss you. I miss you so much." He reached for her hands. His hands were familiar, but rough, and cold.
She stared at their hands for a moment. Then back up at Roy. He was staring at her intensely, like when they first started dating. When he held such admiration for her in his eyes. She could see the love there. And she realized, it was the first time she had seen that look in a long time. Since, before their engagement.
She thought back to the night he proposed, over three years ago. He didn't even have that look in his eyes then. When had it disappeared? When did this affection he felt for her sizzle out? This affection that was only resurfacing now, because she had left him.
She looked back at their hands, slowly pulling away from him.
"I noticed, you didn't tell anyone about me and Jim." She said, slowly raising her eyes to him again.
He smiled sadly, "We've both made mistakes in our relationship. And it's none of their business."
She sighed again. He was still considering this a relationship. He was still open to the possibility of 'getting past this'.
"Neither of us are perfect, Pam. And if you had listened to my messages, you would have heard the apologies I made for my flaws." He took her hands again. "I've messed up, Pam. I didn't see you, and I'm sorry. But I see you now-"
He placed his hands on either side of her face and it was like someone had thrown ice water down her back. She shook her head taking a quick step back from him.
"No! Roy." She looked at him, her eyes harsh. "...No." He met her with sad eyes again. She had to make it clear. Clear to him that there was no possibility of them 'working this out' or 'getting past this'. She wanted to close this chapter in her life. She looked down at her toes, taking in a determined breath.
Truth time.
"Roy, I've been in love with Jim since his first day at the office." She raised her eyes to him. "I feel like I've been pretending to love you when in reality…" she took a pause as she saw her words cut him, just as his did to her last week. "...It's Jim." She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She took another breath. "I'm in love with him." She stated. "It's not just a fling, and it certainly was not a mistake." His eyes slowly fell to the ground.
"And I'm not sorry." She continued, surprised by the confidence in her own voice. "I'm not sorry for loving a man that loves me the way I should be loved." She tried to gauge his reaction, but couldn't see his face. "I'm only sorry that I wasn't honest with you sooner."
He stared at the ground for a minute.
Her heart started racing. Quiet was usually followed by anger. As he raised his head, she could see it. He curtly nodded his head while taking in a sharp breath, not making eye contact with her.
She quickly stepped around him to open her car door before he could get in another word. As she was unlocking the door she jumped. He slammed his fist into her passenger door. There was a sizable dent.
She looked at him, eyes wide.
He scoffed. "Fine." He curtly nodded again, forcing a fake smile, before walking away.
Pam started the car and rushed out of the parking lot.
She pulled over a block before Jim's apartment. Her heart was still racing and tears were sneaking out of the corner of her eyes. She needed a minute. She knew as soon as she set foot in the door Jim would know. He would know something happened because he's Jim. And she knew herself well enough that she would break down the second she heard his soft what's wrong?
So she did it there, in her car. She cried. She sobbed. She let everything out. The sadness, the grief, the guilt, the courage, the anxiety, the adrenaline. There were too many emotions running through her, she couldn't stop the tears.
She needed this moment for herself. This was her band-aid. She had ripped it off. She was finally honest with Roy for the first time in what felt like forever.
And he reacted the way he always did. It solidified her decision. Not that she wasn't already sure before. Roy's reaction was just another item to add to the laundry list of why she didn't love him. Why he didn't deserve her. And why she was so proud. So proud that she left.
Her tears and sobs slowly turned into giggles and then laughter. She felt a happiness she couldn't explain. She rested her head back, closing her eyes and breathing deeply between chuckles. She took a few more breaths as she calmed down. She pulled her visor down, checking her reflection in the mirror. Her nose was still slightly pink, but her eyes weren't puffy and her cheeks were dry.
She smiled, closed the visor and drove the last block.
When she arrived at Jim's apartment she raced up the steps noting Mark's car was gone. She felt like she was on top of the world.
She hurriedly knocked on the door. Jim answered after a beat. "Hey, what took so lo-"
She cut him off by throwing herself into his arms and crashing her lips to his.
He stumbled back, letting out a chuckle as he shut the door with his foot. "Well hello to you too-" She cut him off again by plunging her tongue into his mouth and backing him up to the wall. She pressed her body to his and he wrapped his arms around her. She left his lips placing small kisses down his jaw, then neck. She smiled as she heard a soft moan escape his throat. He grasped her hips as she unzipped her coat and threw it to the floor. She kissed her way back up his neck to his ear.
"Take me to bed." she whispered.
Jim had left the office at 5. He went home, grabbed a beer, checked the scores of a few games, changed out of his work clothes and into some jeans and a tee shirt, and opened the fridge to figure out what to do for dinner when Pam knocked on the door.
He was taken aback by her fervor, but thoroughly welcomed it. He noticed the confidence she had been gaining since the Casino Night, and he wasn't lying; it did look good on her. As if he wasn't already attracted to her before, when she would take charge, it was a whole different side of Pam, and he was at her will.
That's why when she whispered a breathy "Take me to bed." In his ear, his eyes glazed over as he slid his hands to the backs of her thighs, and hoisted her to his hips. He carried her up the stairs, trying not to fall as she nibbled and breathed heavily at his neck.
He sat on the bed, kissing her as she straddled his lap. He pushed off her cardigan and slid his hand under her shirt, loving the way she purred against him as he dragged his hands across her skin, landing on her breasts. She broke the kiss to lift her shirt over her head, then reached for his. Once his shirt was off she gently pushed him back, feeling his erection pulse beneath her at the slight force she used.
She leaned over him, kissing her way down his chest. She smiled at the sighs he let out with each flick of her tongue. In an instant he had rolled them over and slid down the zipper on her skirt before pulling it, along with her tights, off of her in one swift motion. Jim looked at her hungrily; her flushed cheeks and chest rising and falling. He almost growled when she stared at him and uttered,
"Touch me."
He grinned before slowly kneeling between her legs. "Where?" he asked, teasing. She bit her lip, and watched his eyes get cloudier. He placed his hands on her hips. "Here?" He asked. She shook her head. He slid a hand to her breast, slowly pulling down the cup of her bra. She inhaled sharply as his mouth closed around her nipple, his tongue flicking at her. He stopped, looking up at her. "Here?" He asked, his voice raspy. She whimpered as he resumed licking her.
After a moment she breathed, "No."
He raised his head to her, capturing her lips as the hand at her breast slid between her legs. "Here?" He rubbed slow circles over her underwear.
Her pitch increased as she nodded and whimpered a soft, "Mhm." He smiled as he kissed her again, lightly biting at her bottom lip. He kept rubbing gentle circles. Just enough pressure to keep her on edge, and not enough to send her over.
Her hips started moving against him, looking to increase the friction. Small sighs escaped her throat, whining at the lack of pressure. Her orgasam was slowly starting to build, but it was too slow.
She broke from his kiss begging a soft, "Touch me, Jim...please." against his lips.
He moaned at her words, shifting his weight to the side of her, pressing his erection against her hip and stretching his arm for a better angle. He slid his hand beneath the waistband of her underwear and moaned again, feeling her arousal soak his fingers.
She let out a low moan as he slowly slid his middle finger inside of her. He moved slow, wanting to draw it out. She breathed quiet sighs as he slid his other hand underneath her, pressing warm kisses to her throat. He added another finger as she moaned again. He moved his lips to her ear. "Is this good?" He asked. She nodded, mouth slightly open and eyes closed. "Tell me what you want, Pam." She took a few breaths as his finger pumped excruciatingly slow inside her.
"Faster." She breathed.
He obliged and reveled in the louder moans escaping her throat with each move. He lifted his head to look at her and his own orgasm almost hit when she moaned again,
"Harder."
Something about Pam telling him exactly what to do turned him on like nothing else in his life ever had. She was writhing beneath him, breathing heavy, face flushed and eyes closed as he pumped harder. Her loud moans became even louder "Ah's" as his knuckles would hit her center.
Worried he was too rough, he lightened the pace. Pam immediately grasped his forearm and when the "No, don't stop...please." Left her lips as a lustful whine, he saw white. He started driving into her hard, staring at her face, watching for the moment she would break and her orgasm would crash around her. Her hand went to the back of his neck when his thumb lightly pressed back and forth into her clit as his fingers worked feverishly inside of her. She pressed their foreheads together, muttering quiet "yes's" under her breath, between her throaty moans.
When her moans stopped, he knew her orgasm had hit. She craned her head back, mouth agape and he could feel her pulsing around his fingers. He slowed his pace, kissing down her neck as she came down. He stopped moving altogether and let her hips move the way she needed.
He removed his hand from her legs and slowly slid his fingers into his mouth, moaning at the taste of her. He looked down at her, her half lidded eyes staring back at him. He placed a deep kiss to her lips. She darted her tongue out to taste herself on him and he moaned. When he broke the kiss, he stared into her eyes.
"One more?" He asked. She nodded grinning.
He stood up, his own erection pressing against his jeans. He grabbed her by the hips, pulling her to the edge of the bed, and pulling her underwear down her legs. It always sent a jolt of excited electricity through her when he would make a rough move like that, knowing there was softness behind it.
He knelt between her legs, his hands on either of her thighs, pushing them back toward her chest. His mouth watered at the display, and loved the way she groaned when he slid his tongue slowly up her center, being sure to leave an opened mouth kiss around her clit, to which she bucked her hips, just slightly. He drove his tongue in deeper, earning him a deeper moan from Pam, as he started moving his tongue inside of her. He placed another kiss on her before lifting his head.
"God, you taste so good." He breathed. She didn't know why the dirty talk turned her on so much, it never did before. But everything was different with Jim. He lapped at her and flicked his tongue and teased her until she was right back to the edge. Her moans loud, and her hand tangled in his hair, he sucked at her clit, hard. He alternated between flicking his tongue and sucking until her hips started moving off the bed. He moved his hands from her thighs to her hips to hold her in place while he sucked at her. Not having anywhere to move, Pam felt her second orgasm build, and build, and then break. She let out a high pitched moan that lasted the length that her orgasm did, Jim moaned into her, as he felt her climax, she was dripping onto the bed now.
He stood up, wiping his mouth with his knuckle, a dark smile breaking out on his face. Pam was in pieces, in the best way possible. She looked at him with glazed eyes, one more breathy "Please," escaping her lips.
She watched him as he undid his jeans, another action that excited her now more than she could remember it ever did before. Her core pulsing as he slid them down with his underwear and he stood fully erect in front of her. He kneeled on the bed, gently seating himself between her legs. He leaned down, hovering above her, he placed a gentle kiss to her lips as she wrapped her hand around him. He inhaled sharply, then let out a deep moan as she stroked the length of him fully. She sighed as he slowly buried himself in her to the hilt. He kissed her neck as he moved slowly. She was wet and hot and swollen around him. With every move, small moans would leave her lips. She was so sensitive that every time he would fill her fully, and just brush against her clit, it would send another pulse through her; another orgasm quickly building. That and his breathy moans in her ear had her nearing the edge even faster.
When she started meeting his thrusts with her hips, her moans getting louder, he could feel his climax building. He started thrusting harder. He felt Pam pulse around him, he knew she was close again. He moaned in her ear, trying to hold off his own orgasm just long enough.
"One more baby," he breathed. "Come for me one more time." Her short loud cries fell from her lips with each thrust, so close to breaking. "God, you feel so good Pam." He whispered, thrusting harder. "Come for me." She bit her lip, digging her nails into his back. "I want to feel you come around my cock." And he felt it. One final orgasm. She broke around him, and he came with her feeling her walls pulse around him and coax his own orgasm. He moaned loudly in her neck, slowing his pace as she rode out her climax. She was moaning with her mouth closed, her legs shaking around him, her hands digging into his back.
He held her tightly as he stopped moving, breathing heavy into her neck, her hips bucking every now and then as she came down. He felt a wetness at his cheek. He lifted his head, a pang of fear hitting him as he looked into her watery eyes. But she was smiling.
"Wh-What's wrong?" He stammered. "Was that too much?" He went to move off of her, but her arms latched around his back, pulling him closer. She was as out of breath as he was. He moved his hands to her face, panic, filling his tone. "Pam, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"
She stopped him by kissing him deeply. Some of the panic melted away at her kiss. She pulled away, looking into his eyes. "Don't ever apologize for that." She whispered.
He looked at her, still concerned. "Are you okay?" He asked again.
She smiled back at him lazily. "Mhm." She nodded as she placed another kiss to his lips.
"Why are you crying?" He asked softly with sad eyes.
She giggled before she responded. "I think they call it euphoria?"
A slow smile grew on his face as he kissed her deeply.
By the time they cleaned up (which consisted of a very long shower with soapy hands and sloppy kisses) it was near seven thirty. Mark was home and watching TV in the living room. They were making dinner, which had become a favorite past time of sorts for them both. They had decided on tacos.
Pam was emptying a packet of taco seasoning into the ground beef that was browning in a skillet as Jim was chopping up an onion. She heard him sniff and looked over at his dewy eyes.
"No crying in the kitchen, Halpert." She chuckled.
He smiled as he kept chopping. "It's my kitchen and I'll cry If I want to."
She smiled to herself as she stirred the meat in the skillet. They continued cooking in silence for a minute.
"So, I talked to Roy today." She started.
"Oh?" He said.
"Mhm," she kept stirring. "Part of why I was a little later than I expected."
"What happened?" He asked, trying to focus on the onions and not the aggravation he felt at Roy for continuing to try to talk to her.
"I think he was trying to play to a bleeding heart." She looked at Jim then. "Which I clearly don't have." He smirked at her comment. "He gave me some big speech about how much he misses me and how I was the best part of him or something." She sighed, turning off the stove top.
"What did you say to that?" Jim asked as he finished with the onion.
She waited for him to turn around and look at her. "I told him the truth." She said. "That I've been in love with you since the day I met you." His eyes flashed a warmth at her words, the corners of his mouth upturning slightly. "And that I'm not apologizing for loving someone that loves me the way I deserved to be loved."
He smiled, looking at the floor. He looked in her eyes again, walking over to her and scooping her up in his arms.
"Say it again." He asked, mirroring her words from the previous week. She smiled.
"I'm in love with you." She said again. He kissed her, smiling through the kiss. When they broke apart, she placed her hands on either side of his face, staring into his eyes. "I'm in love with you, Jim Halpert."
He stared back at her, the smile on his face feeling permanent. "I'll never get tired of hearing that."
They fell into bed that night, fully content, snuggled up next to each other. In the morning they got ready for work, still leaving ten minutes apart, to avoid suspicion. Jim left first as usual, then Pam.
A few minutes after she settled herself at the reception desk, he walked up to the counter.
"Hey." She said brightly.
"Hey," he said. "What happened to your door."
Her face dropped. "Oh, that." She looked at the desk, then back up at him. "After my maybe too honest confession…" she paused, not wanting to tell him. "Roy punched my car."
"He what?"
"It's not a big deal."
Jim looked around ensuring no one was listening in. "Not a big deal?" He leaned closer. "He punched your car, Pam."
"After I told him I had pretended to love him for the past three years."
His eyes widened slightly. "Woah," he replied. "You actually said that?"
"Yeah." She said, matter-of-factly. "Not that I'm defending him, but I can see why he might have been upset."
Jim looked down at the desk, still uneasy, then back to Pam. "Yeah, I guess so."
She sighed. "I think he finally took the hint though." She met his gaze. "I don't think he'll be trying to talk to me again."
Jim tapped on the desk lightly. "That's good." He said, a small half smile on his lips before he walked back to his desk.
She knew Jim would worry. But she also knew he respected her enough to let her fight her own battles. She smiled to herself as she opened her email. There was one from Daryl.
They were looking for a new warehouse worker.