Today was her first day back at work. She was nervous. No, she was downright petrified. She had gotten the sign-off from her therapist but to her, that wasn't enough. But in all reality, would she ever be ready?

It was four o'clock in the morning and she didn't need to be up for another hour, but she couldn't sleep. She laid on her side, one hand splayed over the small but now noticeable bump she had. She was now into her second trimester, thanking God she had made it this far.

It was scary, the thought of going back to work, especially since it wasn't just about her. She had her baby to think of and protect and so far, she didn't think she was doing a great job at it. Slowly, she decided to get out of bed, grabbing a set of clothes before hopping in the shower.

After her shower, she headed down to the kitchen, trying not to wake Alex who was asleep on the couch. She grabbed some leftovers from dinner out of the fridge, heating it up in the microwave. She was halfway through her meal when she heard groaning coming from the couch. She watched as Alex sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Sorry if I woke you," Meredith muttered.

"No, you're fine. What are you doing awake?" Alex asked as he got up from the couch, moving over to the vacant seat next to Meredith.

"Couldn't sleep," she whispered, digging her fork back into her meal.

"You're nervous, aren't you?" Alex smirked.

"What? No, I'm not nervous," Meredith replied quickly. Alex gave her a look, like he didn't believe her, making her resolve crumble. "Okay, I'm nervous. Last time I worked I almost lost my life and my child's life. Twice, if I may add. It isn't just me anymore, Alex. I'm putting my child in danger, too and I wanna protect it with whatever it takes. It's already been through a lot."

"It's going to be fine, you can't stress yourself out too much." Alex said.

"And Jo is still working there, what if she tries something again or worse?" She drew in a shaky breath, tears stinging her eyes. "I can't lose this baby, Alex. I just...can't."

"I know," Alex whispered as he reached over, pulling Meredith into his side.

Alex blew out a breath, heading off of the elevator in search of Miranda. He checked the floor, eventually finding her coming out of a patients room.

"Dr. Bailey," Alex said.

"What do you want, Karev?" Miranda asked.

"I need to talk to you about Meredith, today is her first day back and I would feel more comfortable if maybe for a while, she could shadow someone. For both of their safeties, her and the baby." Alex whispered.

"Does she know that you and I are having this conversation?" Miranda asked. Alex but his lip, silently giving her the answer. "You really care about her, don't you?" She whispered, a small smile playing on her lips.

Tears welled in his eyes. "She's my best friend. We came really close to losing them both and I don't ever want to come that close again. She never gave up on me and she's the only friend I have left. She's my person and I can't lose her." Alex whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

"You really have changed, Karev, compared to when I first met you. I like the change," Miranda smirked. "As for Meredith, I agree. We can't let that happen again, until further notice I will find her services to be on and hope that Grey doesn't kill me in the process for this."

"Thank you, Miranda." Alex said sincerely, reaching over to hug her.

"Karev, you're hugging me," Miranda stated. Alex stepped back.

"Yeah, sorry. Just...thank you," he said.

"Go, before she catches us talking." Miranda watched as Alex walked away, shaking her head. "I never thought I would see the day Alex Karev hugged me." She muttered, smiling softly.

Meredith stepped off the elevator, pulling her hair back into a ponytail as she made her way to the lounge.

"Hey, welcome back, Grey. You look great," Callie chirped. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, ready to work." Meredith smiled.

"Alright, well you will be working with me today and I told Karev I wouldn't let you leave my sight."

"Of course you did," Meredith laughed. She secretly liked how protective everyone was of her now. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad?

"Have you talked to Blake since this happened?" Callie asked suddenly.

"No, I haven't, why?"

"You should, she's really beating herself over what happened. She feels like it's her fault." Callie whispered.

"But it's not. Nobody could have seen it coming." Meredith was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I'll talk to her at lunch."

The morning was pretty uneventful for Meredith and as much respect she had for ortho, she also couldn't wait to be back to general surgery. She would be lying if she said she didn't like having a bodyguard with her. It gave her a sense of peace.

Bailey had called her in to let her know that until further notice, she would shadowing someone and as much as that made her feel like an intern again, she also would agree to whatever meant she and her baby would stay safe.

Lunch time rolled around and Meredith followed Callie over to a table, tray in hand.

"There she is, you should go talk to her." Callie said subtly, pointing to Penny. "You should take her to an on call room so you guys can talk privately but don't tell anyone I let you out of my sight."

Meredith laughed, grabbing her tray as she stood up.

"Penny, can we go and talk somewhere in private?" Meredith asked.

"Why? I, uh, I mean, sure." She grabbed her tray, following Meredith to the nearest on call room.

"I didn't know you were back," Penny said as Meredith shut the door.

"It's my first day back." They both took a seat on the lower bunk, Meredith digging back into her meal.

"So, how are you doing?" Penny asked hesitantly.

"I'm getting better every day, the baby is doing good as well." She paused for a moment. "What about you? Callie said you think this was your fault."

"I mean, it is," Penny started. "If I hadn't helped Bailey with her patient, I could have gotten back to you sooner and all I could think about when I found you was 'great, another Shepherd dead on my watch.' I feel like I failed you again." Penny admitted.

"First of all, Derek's death wasn't your fault. You fought for him and as for me," she paused for a moment. "What happened, happened and it doesn't matter if you came back right away or helped Bailey. You couldn't have known the damage wouldn't have been exactly the same. We're both fine, we both survived."

"I'm sorry I didn't come and visit after it happened. I couldn't face you." Penny said, avoiding eye contact with Meredith.

"It's okay, I'm not angry with you. I completely understand." Meredith whispered as she hugged Penny.

"I have to admit when you said you wanted to talk, I thought you were going to kill me." Penny laughed lightly.

"Oh, yeah, kill you and then where would my child end up while I'm serving life in prison?" Meredith smiled.

"Imtreally glad you're okay," Penny whispered.

"Me, too." Meredith smiled. "Now, let's go back out there before anyone assumes I actually did kill you." She winked as they laughed, finished their lunch and headed back out to the cafeteria.