Appetite for Destruction

by Luke2Leia

Santa Carla, 1986 – David and the Lost Boys help Guns N Roses in their hour of need. As the decades pass, David keeps track of his musical obsessions, playing a long game with Axl and his crew. I own nothing but my own strange ideas. Any similarities between persons living, dead, or undead, is purely coincidental and for entertainment purposes only.

7. Can't put your arms around a memory

Ch. 7 - Epilogue – Can't put your arms around a memory

…...

Warnings: Suicidal ideation, explicit sex, M/M, multiple partners

…...

It doesn't pay to try
All the smart boys know why
It doesn't mean I didn't try
I just never knew why
Feel so cold and all alone
Cause baby, you're not at home
And when I'm home
Big deal, I'm still alone

Feel so restless, I am
Beat my head against a pole
Try to knock some sense
Down in my bones
Even though they don't show
The scars aren't so old
And when they go, yeah
They let you know, yeah

You can't put your arms around a memory
You can't put your arms around a memory
You can't put your arms around a memory
Don't try, don't try

You're just a bastard kid
And you got no name
Cause you're living with me
We're one and the same
And even though they don't show
The scars aren't so old
And when they go
They sure let you know

You can't put your arms around a memory
You can't put your arms around a memory
You can't put your arms around a memory
Don't try, don't try

'Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory', Johnny Thunders (Covered by Guns 'N Roses)

…...

April 2020 - Seattle

The phone finally stopped ringing, sudden quiet echoing through the house, empty of the endless calls of sympathy and condolences and offers for help from people too far away and too afraid of circumstances to provide anything of substance. Duff slumped back, sliding down into the couch, arm slung listlessly over hollowed eyes stained dark with anguish and exhaustion.

Darkness crept in, blanketing the house as the sun set below the rim of the ocean to the west. Pounding at the front door startled Duff out of his fugue, and he sat up, confused and disoriented, the distant lights of the city casting pale streamers of illumination through the dim room.

Staggering to his feet, he made his way to the door, scowling as he pulled it open slowly. Axl and Slash stood on the other side, their faces mirroring the dismay on the tall blonde's.

Without a word, he stepped back, letting them in. They got no further than the foyer, the two drawing their grieving friend into a near-crushing embrace.

Duff startled, stilling for a moment before starting to tremble, façade cracking as he fell to pieces in their arms, howls of agony ringing through the hall as they supported him. When he curled in further, his legs giving out, they lowered him gently to sit on the tile floor in a huddle, cradling him between them.

The night crawled by as they sat together, Axl and Slash humming tunelessly as they held their friend close. Slowly, the flood of emotions subsided, leaving Duff weak and wrung out, draped over Slash's shoulder as Axl rubbed gentle circles on the blonde's long, lean back.

He shook as he straightened up, rubbing at his nose and sniffling. Axl reached up with cool fingers, tenderly wiping his friend's eyes, brushing tear tracks off damp cheeks.

"I won't ask how you're doing."

Duff huffed at Axl's words, grimace sliding over his features in the closest approximation he could give of a smile.

"Ok if we stay awhile?"

Duff blinked slowly, looking into his friend's soft green eyes and giving a slight shake of his head.

"I…" he sighed. "…yeah."

"You inviting us in, blondie?"

Duff coughed a rasping husk of a laugh. "What? That shit wear off or something?"

Slash chuckled softly. "Nah, man. You're good."

He slid a hand up Duff's cheek into the unruly blonde locks, pulling his friend down till their foreheads touched, his voice low as their eyes met. "You're good."

Duff shivered, and Axl eyed him appraisingly.

"You look like shit. Sound like it too. When was the last time you ate?"

Duff shrugged, turning his head away from the inquisitive redhead. Slash hummed, poking gently at the blonde's stomach, smiling when Duff twitched and grumbled, slapping grumpily at Slash's hand.

"So…what are we ordering?"

Duff shook his head. "Nothing. I don't want anything."

"Nope. You're gonna eat something even if I have to feed you myself."

"I'm not hungry."

Axl laughed, the deep sound echoing in the open hallway. "Keep that shit up and I'll drag in half a moose and whammy you so hard you eat the whole damn thing. Raw."

With a steely glare, Duff snarled at Axl. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, he would. And I'll help." Slash chuckled. "Make you eat the dick and balls whole. Get you some real Rocky Mountain oysters."

Duff stared at the curly-haired man with wide eyes for a moment. His shoulders started to shake again, rough wheezing bubbling up from his lungs in pale approximation of his usual, warm laugh. It went on, transitioning without warning to crying again, the blonde's body wrenching painfully with each exhaled sob.

He was leaning heavily on Slash as he cycled down again, and his two friends exchanged glances over his quaking shoulder. Without another word, Slash pulled him easily to his feet, effortlessly sweeping him up and carrying the lanky bass player bridal style over to the large living area, to sit down on the sectional with his friend still on his lap.

Axl gathered up a nearby blanket, tucking it over them both before heading to the kitchen. Poking through the fridge, he found heaps of unopened delivery packages, still neatly bundled; gifts from family and friends meant to sustain Duff while he mourned. With a soft grumble, the redhead picked one that seemed large, pulling it out and opening it with a flick of a suddenly razor-sharp fingernail, eyeing the contents with satisfaction.

While Axl puttered around the kitchen, Slash held onto his friend, the blonde curled bonelessly in a softly whimpering heap between his legs, head tucked up against his shoulder, one long arm slung across his chest. Humming again, he rubbed gently at Duff's arm and back, chafing warmth back in him through the soft blanket Axl had draped over them.

Duff was half asleep when Axl made his way back to them, a large bowl of some kind of casserole steaming fragrantly in his hand. The singer pulled a low coffee table over, sitting on it to face his friend.

"Alright, blondie. Let's get a little of this in you."

Duff blinked owlishly as Slash stroked his hair, misery carving deep furrows in his chiseled face. Axl snorted, reaching over to cup Duff's cheek, hand warm from carrying the bowl.

"You need to eat, blondie. I'd rather you do it of your own accord, but I'll make you if I have to. You matter too much to me, to us, for us to just let you slip away like this."

With a frown, Duff looked up in distress at Slash, the wild-haired man grinning back at him, hand still carding through unkempt blonde locks.

"Don't even try it, buddy. I'm with Ax on this. You got to take care of yourself, or at least let us help you. It's not over yet."

Duff's voice was paper-thin, laced with anguish. "I... don't…know…what…to…do."

"You don't have to know, not right now. Just stay with us, let us help. We'll figure it out later, together. When you're ready. For now, we'll take care of you. You just gotta let us. OK?"

With a slight nod, Duff met Axl's gaze. "Alright."

Slash gave him a firm squeeze, kissing the top of his head. "There ya go, man. That's all you need for now."

Axl held out a spoon, steam curling up from the pasta and sauce. His green eyes gleamed wickedly.

"Ready for the choo-choo, Duffy-boy?"

With a grumbling wheeze, Duff glared at his friend. "Imma stick that 'choo-choo' where the sun don't shine, asshole."

"You'll really need to get your strength up if you wanna do that, blondie." Axl cackled, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Duff. "But I'm up for it whenever you are."

…...

Another late night found the three men relaxing up in Duff's bedroom, watching some crappy movie and making snarky comments, as had become their habit. They lay in a loose pile, draped around each other, clad only in loose boxers, Duff in the middle. Laughing together at Slash's lament over the lack of tits, the mood changed as the vampires suddenly went quiet.

In the moment it took Duff to notice, Axl was already up and heading for the bedroom door. Slash pulled his confused mortal friend behind him, eyes flashing gold at Axl as the singer glanced back.

"Little late for entertaining visitors, isn't it?"

Slash's answering chuckle was low and dark. "Visitors? Sure. Perfect time for delivery, though. And I am kinda hungry."

Duff's stage whisper was loud as a shout to their ears. "What the hell is going on?"

"We have company. Sounds like it might be some stalker fans. I'll handle it."

"Shouldn't we, I don't know…call the police?"

Axl's eyes flashed gold at his blonde friend, his smile toothy and fierce. "Why bother? Who's gonna miss 'em?"

Duff swallowed dryly, leaning back in to Slash's comforting embrace, only to startle and glance at the guitarist's face. Slash's human countenance smiled gently back, dark eyes soft as they met Duff's gaze.

"Relax. We'll protect you."

Axl snorted in amusement. "This little attempt at home invasion isn't anything to worry about. I'll be back before the next commercial."

With that he was gone, a slight breeze that ruffled Duff's hair the only mark that he'd been there at all. Slash pulled him closer, wrapping him in a comforting embrace as the blonde leaned into him, shaking slightly.

"Do you…really have to…kill them?" he whispered hoarsely into Slash's chest.

The guitarist gave him a gentle squeeze, sighing as he loosened his hold.

"It's better all-around if we do. No one will ever know what happened to them, we know how to make sure of that. But we've been running on nearly empty this last week or so 'cause we didn't want to leave you alone. It's been more of a strain than we'd realized."

Duff cringed, and Slash hugged him tight again, rubbing his back. "Hey, hey, don't worry. We'll never hurt you. We'd have made other arrangements long before we let ourselves get that far. This little break-in though? It's a gift, and we're gonna take it. Please don't hate us for it."

Pulling back a little, Duff looked up at his friend, the man he'd known for decades, spent countless hours creating music with, fighting, fucking, drinking, traveling, just getting through life with. A soft smile blossomed, and Slash returned it a thousand-fold, white teeth near blinding in a megawatt grin.

"I couldn't hate you. Not either of you."

"Good to know, blondie. I kinda like having you around."

Duff turned, surprised, to see Axl leaning against the door frame, looking very relaxed. Slash coughed, motioning at the singer's forehead with a smile, sharp eyes flashing gold briefly.

"Ah, missed a spot there, buddy."

Peeling away from Duff, Slash slid off the bed, sauntering up to the redhead, face morphing as he got close. With infinite tenderness, he pulled the singer's face closer, licking the few small splashes off, tracing a path down to kiss Axl deeply, growling at the lingering taste of fresh blood.

"So, what's left? Sloppy seconds?"

With a deep chuckle, Axl planted his lips on Slash's again, answering back through their link.

"Asshole. Knocked yours out and left 'em in the downstairs bathtub. I was even nice enough to leave the empty on the bottom."

"Such a gentleman." Slash growled again, pushing past Axl to make fast tracks to his waiting meal. With a shake of his head, Axl walked back over to the bed, tilting his head slightly as he gazed at Duff.

"You doing alright there, blondie? Ok if I join you again?"

Duff looked up, taking a deep breath. With a weak smile, he patted the bed next to him. Axl returned the smile, sliding in next to the blonde and throwing an arm around the other man's middle. Duff startled, laying a hand on Axl's leg.

"You're…warm." Duff's confusion slid to understanding, his shoulders dropping as he ducked his head, turning to look back at the tv. Axl nuzzled gently against the blonde's ear, kissing his neck with a feather-light touch.

"Warm all over." He placed a hand over Duff's where it still lay on his leg, sliding it up to brush over the firm tent in the front of his boxers. "I could warm you up too."

"Axl…" Duff sucked in a breath, and Axl could hear the blonde's heart speeding up.

"It's alright. You tell me when you're ready."

With a slight shudder, Duff nodded, leaning into Axl's side with a long exhale. "Thanks, Red."

Giving Duff a squeeze, Axl chuckled. "Don't have to thank me for that. I just want whatever it takes to get you back on your feet again."

"And then what? What kind of future is there, for us, for music? Where do we go from here?"

"Getting' real deep tonight, blondie. I don't know any more than you do. But I'll be here if you need me. Slash too. Together till the end, yeah?"

"To the end." Duff sighed again, lacing his fingers through Axl's. The movie ended, something even cheesier coming on. Duff yawned and stretched, looking up at Axl.

"Is Slash ok? He's been gone a while."

The singer kissed the top of his head. "He's fine, just cleaning up the dinner dishes."

Duff frowned. "What does that even mean? No…never mind. I don't want to know."

Humming, Axl nuzzled him again. "You know, we're a little more responsible these days. You should be proud."

Laughing, Duff reached up to pat Axl's chest. "Absolutely amazing. Banner day, gonna have to mark it on the calendar."

"Jackass." Axl huffed, more humor than heat in his voice. He ruffled Duff's hair, chuckling when the blonde squawked.

Slash came wandering back in, still in his boxers, hair slowly pulling loose from a tie holding most of the shaggy cloud away from his face. Crawling in next to Axl, the two shared a heated kiss, Duff torn between watching and not watching as Slash curled a hand around the back of Axl's neck, the singer reaching to slip a hand down the back of the other man's boxers.

Pulling away from Duff, Axl leaned towards Slash, humming low in his throat as the guitarist ran a hand over his chest, pinching a nipple to a stiff peak. Duff quietly scooted up against the headboard, leaning back on a pillow as he decided to enjoy the show, his own shorts starting to tent.

The two men shed flimsy underwear, Slash straddling Axl's thighs, thick body rutting against the singer as their hands explored each other. With a sudden growl, Axl grabbed Slash, lifting him and twisting to push him up against the headboard with a thud.

Slash flashed a sharp toothed smile, eyes strobing between rich umber and burning gold as he held his arms out, beckoning the redhead. Axl grinned back, crawling between his legs to lick a stripe up Slash's hardness, then slide his lips around the dusky, twitching cock.

Strong hands clutched at Axl's scalp as Slash threw his head back, glowing eyes rolling back under fluttering lids. With hollowed cheeks, Axl sucked Slash down to the root, humming as the other man bucked up to hit the back of his throat.

Lifting his head, he ignored Slash's whine of protest, a trail of drool stretching from his lips to his friend's dick snapping with a splash as he sat up. Gripping Slash's shoulders, he impaled himself with slow deliberation, the two of them moaning in unison as their groins met.

Rolling his torso, Axl began undulating against Slash, the hard slap of flesh on flesh reverberating in the room as the guitarist thrust up in tempo with Axl's movements. Slash had a bruising grip on Axl's hips, baring his teeth and bouncing the singer faster, his pelvis snapping up with force.

Axl rolled his head back, panting in high-pitched whines as his prostate was drilled with fierce precision. Tilting forward, he nuzzled into the crook of Slash's neck, feeling pressure build in his balls, the high of his recent blood meal still burning through his veins. The way Slash's claws were digging into his hips he shared the fire.

"Someone's finally getting in the mood..."

Slash growled, chuckling low in his throat. "'Bout fuckin' time."

"Gonna help our brother out?"

"Fuck, yeah."

Axl grinned against Slash's neck, letting his fangs drop to sink them into the meat of the guitarist's shoulder. With a roar, Slash surged up, fountaining deep, the force of his spend setting Axl off, white bursting behind his eyelids as the pleasure of release ricocheted through him.

As the waves of bliss subsided, Axl licked gently at the bite wound, sealing it closed as he lifted off Slash with a satisfied groan. He gave Duff a heated look, the blonde's cheeks flushing as he was caught stroking himself.

"Like a little help with that?" Axl purred, smirking when Duff's eyes darkened. With a gentle hand, he leaned the blonde forward as he slipped in behind, wrapping strong arms around the lanky man's waist to stroke teasingly along the crest of sharp hip bones.

Slash had slid off the bed to come around, callused fingers easing stained boxers down off the bassist's long legs. His hair broke free of the tie as he crawled up the bed, falling around his face and shoulders in a wild mane, eyes flashing gold fire beneath the dark curtain of curls.

Duff's heart sped up, staccato beats like thunder in the vampires' ears.

Slash pinned him with a wicked look. "You still good, man?"

The blonde nodded, reaching out to tuck a few wild strands behind his friend's ear. With a smile, Slash settled himself between Duff's legs, large hands pressing long thighs up to expose delicate flesh.

Axl stroked Duff's chest, nibbling gently along the crest of a shoulder. The blonde sucked in a deep breath as Slash buried his nose deep in brunette curls, throat working strongly against the stiff member now encased within.

A harsh groan ground out of the bassist, legs quivering, straining against the strong hands that held them. When Axl's blunt teeth bit slow and easy into the shell of Duff's ear, cool tongue easing the pinch, the whine was high and sweet, the accompanying shudder racing from neck to toes, gooseflesh raising in its wake.

With a wink at the singer, Slash handed his hold of the blonde's legs to Axl's firm grip, leaving his hands free to lift, separate, and dive in with fingers and tongue, stroking, probing, pinching and rolling. Duff's pleasured wail soared through the space, long body curling, hands scrabbling for purchase in Axl's short locks.

Duff was nearly incoherent from Slash's efforts, the vampire easily teasing him to the edge, then backing away with maddening precision. Held effortlessly, soaked with sweat, he trembled and whined, his chest flushed a deep red, rigid cock leaking copiously.

"Blondie…" Axl's voice was low and husky in Duff's ear. "...where's the lube?"

The mental image was enough, Duff too far gone to answer coherently. Axl let go a leg to open a drawer in the near bedside table, tossing the tube to Slash.

The wild-haired man grinned wickedly as he stretched his friend with measured patience, purposefully slow and gentle even while the blonde strained, lean body bowing, desperate for more contact. Axl slid his hands under Duff's ass, to lift and spear him with the same punishingly slow pace Slash had shown.

The blonde whined again, feet finding enough purchase to push back sharply, seating Axl firmly inside.

"Someone's running hot." Axl chuckled, clamping his hands over Duff's hips to hold him still.

"Always did." Slash agreed, repositioning himself and licking a teasing stripe up Duff's weeping cock.

Duff's hands shot out, burying deep in thick curls as Slash sucked him down. His head rolled back against Axl, body twitching wildly, despairing wail pulled from his lips as his torturers barely moved, locking him tight between them.

Smiling, Axl kissed a slow trail up Duff's shoulder and neck, cool breath fanning overheated skin. "Clenching pretty hard there, blondie. Need something?"

Duff's eyes were screwed shut, chest heaving like a bellows as he mewled piteously. His hands scrabbled at his gentle captors, pulling hard at anything within reach, his mind blank of everything but agonizing need, overwhelmed with frustration of not-quite-enough pleasure.

Sharing deep chuckles that rumbled through their captive friend, the two vampires started moving, slow at first but quickly gaining speed. Axl set the pace, nearly bouncing the lanky blonde on his lap, Slash kneeling up, taking the face-fucking with practiced ease.

Duff fell apart between them, covered in sweat and wracked with full body shudders as the tidal wave of climax inundated his senses. The crest hit him like an electric shock, rising scream of release followed by a sudden loss of consciousness, body going slack between his partners.

Axl scooped him up, cradling Duff against his chest. Slash grabbed a pair of shorts off the floor, gently cleaning the blonde, then crawling up to curl into Axl's side, one arm draped over Duff's quiet form.

Coming round slowly, Duff hummed, smile painting his features, eyes shut. He reached out, still groggy, hand curling into Slash's shaggy mop, frowning as he realized something was off.

"Su?"

When there was no answer, he opened his eyes wide, pulling out of Axl's embrace as he sat up. There was a pregnant pause, not even Duff drawing breath as he stared back and forth between his friends.

Grief flooded him, sucking him down till he collapsed inward. Naked, he held himself, back bent as he wept, face pressed against the mattress.

Axl sighed, reaching out, but Duff flinched at his touch, jumping like a scalded cat.

"Don't!"

The blonde scuttled backwards, perched precariously at the edge of the bed, face turned away.

"It's alright, Duff. We're not going to hurt you, we just want to help."

"NO!"

Shaking, he slipped off the bed to land with a thump on the floor, leaning against the bottom of the bed for support. Tears streamed down his face, his voice thick from mucous, laced heavily with pain.

His friends shared a concerned look, sliding silently off the bed to come around, sandwiching him between them in a firm but gentle embrace. He tried to fight, twisting, pushing, fingers scraping flesh in his effort to break free.

Cursing and crying, he wore down, wore out, dry husking sobs wracking his exhausted form, rubbery limbs draped loosely around Axl, who rocked him gently, crooning a soft song of comfort. Slash wrapped himself around Duff's back, moving in time with Axl, his callused hands rubbing soothingly along Duff's arms, legs, chest and back again, in a languid, tender cycle of solace.

The storm of emotions passed slowly, leaving Duff worn thin again, barely conscious as he trembled in his friends' arms. Together, Axl and Slash lifted him, careful not to jostle or startle their charge. They piled back into the bed, pulling the covers up, wrapping themselves protectively around their grieving friend, sinking in slumber as the sun crept up unnoticed outside the darkened cocoon of the bedroom.

Sometime during the day, Duff woke, water pressure forcing him out of bed. He stumbled to the on-suite, glaring at the hollow shell that stared back through dark and sunken eyes. Without a thought he planted a fist hard at the reflected specter, the sound of cracking, shattering, barely registering as he watched the image crumble and fall away.

The rich, wet, iron scent of fresh blood woke Axl out of daysleep, the feeling of foreboding pushing him to full alert. Duff was not in bed, though his slow heartbeat was still near.

With a rough slap he woke Slash as he leapt over him to rush to the bathroom door, swearing as he opened it wide. Duff sat on the floor on a bed of broken glass, back against the sink cabinet, a river of red slowly oozing down his arm to pool on the tile.

Axl's cursing drew his attention, and he flashed a soft, lopsided misery-filled attempt at a smile, more ghastly than inviting, as he lifted his arm slowly in offering.

"Please. Don't let it go to waste."

"Dammit, Duff, I'll 'waste' you, you selfish sonofabitch."

Axl crouched in front of Duff, not even trying to hide his facial transformation, brought on by his own fear and the overwhelming scent of fresh blood. Taking Duff's arm, not entirely ungently, he licked in broad stripes, working quickly to close the weeping gash.

Duff watched in silent fascination, reaching out with his uninjured hand to brush the sharp ridge over Axl's brow. Burning gold eyes flashed ferally, pinning him with barely restrained rage that drained just as suddenly, bleeding back to fresh green, ridges and hollows melting under Duff's fingertips to the pale, smooth skin he knew so well.

Axl's growl softened to a groan as he pulled away from the now-healed limb. With a sigh, he threaded gentle fingers in Duff's hair, drawing the blonde close to touch foreheads together.

"Why? Why would you try to leave us like this?"

Duff shook his head, unable to speak. Pinching his nose and sighing deeply, Axl stood, scooping up the startled blonde.

Slash stood in the doorway; concern writ large across his features. He moved out of the way as Axl walked forward, bringing Duff back to the bed to roll him out of his arms so he lay ass up.

Leaning up on his elbows, Duff frowned at the redhead. He scrambled weakly, trying to get up, only for Axl to plant a firm hand in the center of his back, low voice full of fire, brooking no argument.

"Don't try it. Your ass looks like a fuckin' disco ball exploded on it. You're gonna stay put till we get you cleaned up."

Duff cringed, and sank back, folding his arms and laying his head down. Quick pinches over his ass and the back of his thighs made him flinch and twitch.

Slash looked up at Axl as he pulled another piece of mirror out of Duff's skin.

"Think he'd like me to kiss it all better?"

Axl snorted softly, smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth as he worked with quick efficiency down the other leg. "Go for it. Just make sure you got everything first."

With a grin, Slash ran fingers lightly over blood specked skin, stopping every now and then to pick another chip of glass out with scalpel-sharp fingernails. Caressing the lean leg once more to be sure, he leaned down, licking the small nicks and cuts closed with relish, eyes strobing gold and mahogany as he tasted Duff's blood.

Duff gasped when he felt Slash's tongue, squirming at the sensation and looking over his shoulder. The guitarist flashed a wide flat-toothed smile, his eyes glowing gold beneath his curtain of curls, brightening when Duff shivered.

With a rough chuckle Slash inched his way north to a speckled ass cheek. Taking his time to cover every inch of flesh, he left no trace of the many small wounds, or the blood that had flowed from them.

The blonde turned away, laying his head back down again with a quiet sigh. Slash sent a questioning look up at Axl, who shrugged slightly, shaking his head.

Finishing up, Slash crawled up, straddling Duff's back, laying soft kisses along his spine. Slow and gentle, he lay himself down over the blonde, nuzzling behind an ear.

"What's goin' on, man? Why you tryin' to check out?"

Duff lay trembling beneath him, breath hitching.

"It's no big deal. Just forget about it."

Slash kissed dark roots at Duff's temple. "You know we ain't gonna do that."

Sighing raggedly, the blonde gave as much of a shrug as he could with the guitarist splayed over him.

"It's fine. I'll be fine. I just…got a little…low."

"Hey, man. I get it. But we were jiving pretty good a little while ago. Give it some time, you can get there again."

With another shrug that bumped his shoulder against Slash's chin, Duff exhaled, going slack underneath his somewhat-living weighted blanket. "I guess."

Axl listened to the exchange as he headed downstairs to find something to clean up the mess in the bathroom. Picking up his phone, he hit a contact. There was a single buzz before a deep voice answered.

"Yeah?"

"Could use a little help up here. He's worse than we thought."

There was a deep grunt that might have been acknowledgement. Just as the line went dead, he felt a thought push into his head.

"Tomorrow night."

"If he makes it that long."

There was the tickle of a mental snort. "Make it happen. Or don't. Your call. Have fun explaining your choice to Dwayne."

Axl grumbled back. "Asshole."

"Pot 'n kettle, Red."

The contact faded, and Axl swore under his breath as he grabbed a broom from a nearby closet. Walking back through the bedroom, he saw Slash had dozed off, prone form wrapped around Duff like a stone octopus.

The blonde grunted, trying to extricate himself.

"A little help here?"

Axl smirked. "Nope. You've got all the help you need."

"He's crushing me! I can't breathe!"

"You've got enough breath to bitch, blondie. I think you'll be ok."

Laughing at Duff's stream of epithets, Axl cleaned the bathroom up, doing a sweep to make sure nothing else hazardous remained. Carrying an overflowing trash can out, he grinned at Duff's squirming and swearing.

"Now, don't go anywhere. I'll be right back."

"FUCK YOU!"

With a chuckle, Axl headed back downstairs, rooting around in the fridge. Finding something edible he warmed it, grabbing a bottle of juice before heading back up.

Duff was still struggling, though it was clear he was wearing down. Axl squatted in front of him with a big grin.

"Having fun there?"

Duff favored him with a thermonuclear glare.

"Tell you what. You promise to eat whatever the hell this is without a fuss and I'll get deadweight there off ya."

Duff groaned, planting his face in the bedspread, muttering.

"What was that?"

"ALLRIGHT GODDAMNIT! JUST GET HIM OFF ME!"

"Holdin' ya to that."

Putting the plate and bottle down, he peeled the slumbering guitarist off the blonde with ease, rolling him off to the side while Duff gasped for air, getting to his knees.

"Jesus, what, do you guys turn to stone or some shit like those sparkly twinks? I swear he didn't weigh so much before."

"I dare you to ask David that. Second thought, never mind. I like having you in one piece."

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Duff leaned his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. Axl came and sat down with him, rubbing his back gently.

"Hey there, it's ok. I know you're struggling. Just, try and let us in? You're not alone in this."

Duff turned towards Axl, not meeting his gaze, his voice a thick, rough whisper.

"I've never felt so lost in my life."

Axl pulled him close, carding gentle fingers through shaggy blonde locks.

"I know, Duff. I can see it, can feel it in you. It won't always feel like this. Just hang in there, hold on to us. We love you, that's why we're here. Don't throw that away."

Duff crumpled into Axl's embrace, tucking his head under the singer's chin. After long moments, Axl started rubbing his back, something like a smile twitching at his lips.

"Alright, blondie. Food's getting cold, and you promised you'd eat. Might as well get to it. Lemme find us something stupid on tv to make it go down easier."

…...

The next night was cool and clear, the sun well down as the three men relaxed around the tv. Axl started hissing and throwing popcorn at the screen when a commercial flashed with the face of the clementine Mussolini wannabe.

"I fuckin' swear if it wouldn't risk the entire society of vampires, I'd rip that motherfucker to pieces myself."

"Be a public service if you asked me." Slash agreed.

Duff rolled his eyes, gathering a handful of popcorn and tossing it at Axl. The redhead turned, eyes squinting in annoyance, just as a knock came at the door.

The two vampires turned in unison, Duff frowning in confusion.

"Not more stalkers?"

Slash chuckled. "Nah, free range rude don't usually knock at the door first. Your house, you wanna get it?"

Duff looked a little nonplussed. "Oh…ah, sure."

He got up, heading to the front door, pausing once to look back at his friends.

"You…ah…sure it's ok?"

"No worries, blondie. Wouldn't steer you wrong."

Duff hummed, pulling at his hoodie as he walked towards the door. Putting a hand on the latch, he took a breath, girding himself to interact with some well-meaning neighbor.

Opening the door, he came face to face with Dwayne. The brunette leaned against the doorframe, slight frown creasing the space between dark brows.

His eyes roamed critically over the tall blonde, leaving Duff feeling like he was a child again, facing his mother's disappointment. Duff frowned back, the two staring each other down for a long moment.

There was a quiet cough, and Duff realized they weren't alone, David and the rest looking on with amusement. He sighed, stepping back and opening the door wide, rote manners kicking in.

"Please, come in."

Dwayne entered first, David following to brush past the pair and wander off. Paul and Marko exchanged smirks, slipping past their brother and giving Duff a friendly nod before trailing off after their leader on a self-guided tour.

"You look like crap."

Duff shrugged, looking away, his arms crossing as he leaned against the wall.

"So I've been told. Repeatedly."

A cool hand cupped his chin, startling the blonde, hazel eyes glancing over, drawn and held by calm umber.

"We should talk."

Duff flinched, pulling away, turning his back on the other man.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You're wrong." A strong hand gripped his arm, but he yanked away.

"Don't! You wanna fuck, go find someone else." Duff stormed off towards the now-empty entertainment room. He stopped in the doorway, suddenly unsure, something seemed off but he couldn't place what it was.

"Duff, that's not why I'm here. I'm here for you." Dwayne was right behind him.

"I didn't ask you to come!" He went to walk away, to be stopped by a firm hand gripping his wrist. "Let go of me!"

Duff pulled again, practically hissing as he turned on Dwayne. The brunette stared at him placidly.

"We need to talk Duff. Where can we go?"

"I DON'T WANNA TALK! NOW LET THE FUCK GO OF ME!"

He shoved hard at the dark-haired man, with little effect. Dwayne only swayed slightly, releasing Duff's wrist in favor of pushing back at the blonde, the taller man stumbling back.

Something snapped, Duff roaring, aiming a wild swing at the other man. Dwayne dodged easily, eyes flashing in humor as he reached out, tapping Duff's back lightly, sending him windmilling, falling unsteadily to his knees.

Eyes narrowed, he spun back around, gathering himself and leaping at the brunette. Dwayne caught him easily, letting the momentum carry them both to the floor, taking the brunt of the fall with barely a huff.

Straddling the vampire, Duff sat up, face splotchy and red, twisted as he snarled. He aimed a blow at Dwayne's face, the other man rolling with it, and rolling them both over, pinning Duff's arms above his head.

"I need to tell you something. Stop making this so hard."

Duff bucked underneath him, eyes blazing. "FUCK OFF!"

Dwayne sat atop the struggling human, heaving a quiet sigh. "I know how you feel."

The blonde exploded, cursing and straining till his limbs shook.

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! NOBODY DOES! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

"You're not alone in this. If you'd let me…"

"HOW CAN YOU ASSHOLES EVEN SAY YOU UNDERSTAND! I LOST EVERYTHING!"

"YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE!" Dwayne roared back, face sharp and eyes burning, inches away from Duff's own. The blonde's eyes went wide, body going still in the face of the unexpected outburst.

Chest heaving raggedly, he looked at the face hovering above his own. The fiery rage was gone, leaving a haunted agony that echoed his own, tears glistening in the corners of glowing eyes.

"You're not the only one to meet a faceless enemy, one that strips away everything you ever loved, everything that ever made sense in the world, leaving you broken and empty and longing for death."

Duff relaxed as Dwayne loosened his grip, the weight of the vampire's words resonating deep. Dwayne's face smoothed back to human, tears spilling in wandering trails to splash on the blonde's chest.

"I had a family too, once, long ago. A strong woman who gifted me a fierce daughter, the two of them bright and warm and golden as the sun itself. After the soldiers came, forced us to move north, so many of us fell sick. I watched my family burn with fever, wither away, turn to empty husks before me. When the sickness finally came for me, I welcomed it like a lover."

Reaching up, Duff cupped Dwayne's cheek. "What happened?"

Dwayne snorted thickly. "David."

Duff frowned. "Do you…still miss them?"

"It's been a very long time. But I think of them, honor their memories, every now and then. If I hadn't had them then, I wouldn't be who I am, where I am, now. And that would be a real tragedy."

Dwayne bent down, dark eyes gleaming softly, to brush cool lips whisper light on Duff's forehead. The blonde turned his head away, crumbling in on himself, body shaking underneath the brunette.

Moving quickly, Dwayne slid off, gathering the other man into his arms. Duff batted weakly at him, shaking his head, too overcome to get away from Dwayne's gentle embrace.

"It…it's not right!" Duff rasped, cradled against Dwayne's chest. "I shouldn't…don't deserve…" he trailed off in wracking sobs, still trying to deny the comfort being given.

"If something had happened to you instead, would you have wanted your family drowning in grief the rest of their lives?"

Dwayne brushed gently at unkempt gold locks, ran a soothing hand down Duff's back. The blonde shuddered, hiccupping sadly, shaking his head.

"They wouldn't want you to suffer either." The brunette put a hand under Duff's chin, tilting his head up. "Take it from someone who's had way too much time to work this out. It's ok to feel good, to enjoy things. You're not dishonoring their memory just because you're not in agony every second of the day."

Duff pulled away from Dwayne's hand, resting his head on the other man's shoulder with a watery sigh.

"But I am in agony…all of the time..."

Dwayne snorted softly, cool lips smiling against Duff's forehead. "That's not what I heard."

Duff flinched, trying to pull away, starting to tremble again. "That was…it was just…they were…right there…for a moment…I forgot…"

"Hey…hey!" Dwayne reeled him in, taking hold of his hands to chafe them gently. "Don't be ashamed. You needed the release, needed to know you could still feel pleasure, enjoy yourself, even after all you've been through."

"It wasn't…I don't…"

"Shh…don't even worry about it. There's nothing you need to justify, nothing you need to do now but let us help you. Let me help you. Please?"

Duff swallowed a sob, shuddering as he clutched at Dwayne's shirt. "Why?"

"Can't you see? I love you, you giant jackass. I've been where you are. I want to be there for you."

Pulling back, Duff met Dwayne's soft gaze with a watery, troubled stare. "Dwayne…how can you be sure?"

The brunette chuckled. "I've been sure for decades." He smiled at Duff's look of surprise. "You've always been more to me than just a fine piece of ass. But I could see what your family meant to you, and it was enough to share what we could. I'm not trying to replace your family; I wouldn't dishonor them by trying. I'm just hoping we can share a little more now. Only as you're ready."

Duff hiccuped again. "I just…I don't know…"

"Duff, it's ok. Let it all go. Feel what you feel and know you don't have to walk this path alone. If you'll let me stay?"

The look Duff gave him was raw and wounded, but the blonde reached out with a shaky hand to cup a chiseled jaw.

"I think…I would…like that."

There was a dry cough from behind them. "That sounds like my cue."

Duff jumped, surprised to see David leaning against the doorway.

"Sorry to break in to your moment." He gave the pair an appraising look. "Glad to see everybody getting along."

Dwayne looked up with a smirk. "Your timing could use some work."

"My timing was perfect. You two were about to get disgustingly sappy. You can save that shit for later."

"Says the man who stalked someone for decades, just so they wouldn't be so sad."

David snorted in amusement. "Your point?"

Dwayne rolled his eyes and shrugged. "So, where's everyone else?"

David's grin turned wicked. "They went out to grab a bite."

Duff frowned. "Nothing's open, everyone's on lockdown...oh…"

"Don't worry your pretty, blonde head. There's always takeout somewhere. And it's so much easier when no one's watching."

Duff shivered, looking away. Dwayne rubbed his back, glaring at David who gave him a mild look in return.

"Really?"

"Shoulda been used to it by now. He's had years."

"David."

"Dwayne."

"Asshole. A little consideration wouldn't kill you."

"Eh, maybe not. But why take the chance?"

Duff watched the two, brows furrowed in confusion at the lopsided conversation. With a smirk, David swooped in to kneel next to the pair, Duff flinching at the sudden movement, David's grinning face popping up so close to his. A cool hand stroked his cheek lightly, ice blue eyes pinning him with a casually fierce gaze.

"So, blondie. Looks like I'm losing my wingman for a while. That's not something I take lightly. I expect you to take good care of him."

Duff's eyes were wide as dinner plates, but his fingers clenched in Dwayne's shirt as he nodded. The cool look on David's face faded to something almost fond as he glanced between the two men.

"You should know, blondie, the offer still stands. You find eternity looking a little more tempting, you only have to say the word."

Duff swallowed, face flashing confusion, distress, even something like hope, as he turned to look at Dwayne. The brunette gave him a soft smile, dark eyes warm and open.

"Don't even think about it now. We have plenty of time to figure it out."

Duff nodded, letting Dwayne pull him close once more.

David stood up, flashing a wide grin as he clapped his hands together, making Duff jump again.

"So! I'm off to scrounge up some dinner. You kids want anything?"

Dwayne rolled his eyes, smirk tweaking the corner of his mouth.

"Make yours a double, I could use a top-off before you leave."

"Done. Blondie? Something I can bring you? Think careful, I'm not often in such a charitable mood."

"No…thank you."

"Suit yourself. We'll be back late, got a whole new city to scope, so don't wait up. Just leave a bedroom window open, we'll button it up when we get in."

With a nod, Dwayne waved him off, the platinum blonde melting away, leaving nothing but a swirl of wind that twirled up Duff's hair. Dwayne chuckled, fingers combing it back down.

"Seems like we have the place to ourselves for a little while."

Duff looked up, and away, nodding shyly.

"Wanna take a bath?" Dwayne smiled gently when Duff turned to stare at him. "Just a bath, just to relax. Never more than you're ready for."

Duff sat quietly, considering, ragged breath slowly evening out. He cupped Dwayne's cheek again, thumb rubbing against a sharp cheek bone.

"Thank you…for giving me time."

Dwayne kissed Duff's forehead, gathering his feet under himself to stand up smoothly, a surprised blonde cradled in his arms.

"For you, blondie, I would wait for eternity."