I felt like I was floating, completely untethered, just trying to find out what was happening. I could hear the same woman's voice, telling E.J. to keep everyone out of the living room till I wasn't so overwhelmed. I felt her put her hand on the top of my head and put my hands against her chest, where I could feel her heart beating. I took a deep breath as she leaned forward slightly.
"Hello, Harry." I heard her but my head felt like it was in quicksand and as much as I tried I couldn't open my eyes or talk. "My name is Willow, I'm a child therapist, we can formally introduce ourselves later but for now I'm going to walk you through how to find your 'centre', which is a very good way to calm yourself."
The entire time she was talking she was running her fingers through my hair and still holding both of my hands against her chest. I tried to do anything to show her that I heard her, and I managed to breathe out something that sounded like 'okay' which caused her to squeeze my hands.
"Here's what I'm gonna have you do, imagine somewhere that you feel safe, whether it be a dark room that has no doors, outside, in the forest, your room, anything. Just somewhere that makes you feel safe."
I tried to do just that, I thought of all the warm feelings that everyone here made me feel, how none of them had hurt me, and how it felt to be held so close it almost hurt. Colours and lights flashed in the darkness as all other smells and sounds faded away, except the beating of Willow's heart. The colours slowly gained shape, and the light began to illuminate my surroundings. I was standing in a field around midday, with thick forests surrounding the peaceful little area. Everything was warm, and I could feel the breeze blowing lightly. Willow must have noticed I relaxed and continued coaching me through 'finding my centre'.
"Look around, you're not alone, I promise. Everyone you care about will be around you, as real as day. You might also see a place that feels like home, but we can revisit that another day, for now, tell me what you see." Willow's voice was warm and comforting, like honey and sunshine. I looked around just now noticing the people in the surrounding field.
"I-it's a field. There ar-are quite a-a few people a-around me, so-ome of the-em I reco-recognise, b-but a few s-seem so distant..." I looked at the five people whose faces I could barely make out. "I... I think o-ones my mum, sh-she has long b-bright red hair a-and green ey-eyes. She's t-talking to a m-man with d-dark eyes, he seems... fa-familiar, like I s-should remember hi-him but I don't. There's a man l-lying with his he-head in my m-mum's lap, I'm p-pretty sure he's m-my dad, we ha-have the same mes-messy hair." I stopped and took a few deep breaths.
"You don't have to tell me about everyone if you don't want to, but I do want to know about anyone else who is hard to remember so that later I can ask questions about them, okay?" Willow had moved her hand to my face and was tracing my facial features like I had seen some mothers do.
"W-well, I think I can re-remember names, or at-at least nicknames f-for everyone. There's mu-mum, who is Lily, th-there's dad who is James, Uncle Mo-Moony, and h-his mate Uncle Padfoot." I paused and looked around once more. "Sally's h-here, and Toby. Ma-Masky and Hoodie are t-talking to Uncle Padfoot, a-and Uncle Moony is sitting ne-ext to him talking w-with E.J., while Jeff is le-leaning on him reading. Isabell i-is making flower cr-crowns with Sally, a-and Issy's not hurt any-anymore, she's alive. It's so ni-nice here, I don't e-ever want to leave…" I heard her chuckle.
"I know, our centres hold everything we hold dear, you see your family, all together, new and old, alive and dead. I personally spend a good amount of time in my centre, it's a very peaceful place. However, right now your new family is worried about you, so how about later before you go to sleep you try to access your centre alone?" I realized she was right and looked around one last time before letting everything fade away, and opening my eyes for real. Willow was sitting on the coffee table, and I was on the couch. She was tall, with curled grey horns and long dark hair that swirled in the air as if she was underwater. Her eyes were a dark reddish-orange and her skin was darker than her hair with a slightly blue tint. Her right cheek was mostly melted, along with her stomach which were both dripping a dark liquid. She had a kind smile, despite missing half her face. She stood and held her arms out to me, as she did I noticed scars covering her hands and arms. She picked me up and spun around, humming a tune that seemed so familiar, yet foreign, like an echo of a memory.
I have to end these chapters extra poetic, because what's the point of being an attention-seeking whore if I don't? Also, I'm gonna make a second story, which is just little snapshots of his life with the pastas lmao.